Artemis Fowl: The Aztec Incident
by AgiVega
Summary: 26-year-old Artemis Fowl gets the greatest surprise of his life when Commander Holly Short pays him a visit, pleading for his help. They need to team up to save their son, whose existence Artemis has been unaware of...
1. I Wish Fowl Were Here

**Summary: **26-year-old Artemis Fowl gets the greatest surprise of his life when Commander Holly Short pays him a visit, pleading for his help. They need to team up to save their son who is in grave danger, and whose existence Artemis has so far been unaware of… How will Artemis cope with the thought of being made a father against his will? Will he ever have paternal feelings for the boy? And how will the boy cope with the idea of being son to a Mud Man? How will Artemis put up with Holly Short, who keeps going on his nerves? And vice versa – how will Holly manage to put up with the most irritating Mud Man on earth? You will get your answers from this fic :) 

**Disclaimer**: the Artemis Fowl characters belong to Eoin Colfer. I only own Patrick, Quartz and the Aztec 'royal' family. 

**Author's Note**: here I am, taking a venture into yet another fandom. After Star Wars and Harry Potter this is the third fandom I tried to write a fic in, and I hope I did it all right. You will be my judges. After all those HP fics it felt refreshing to write something new for a change! 

**_Note to my faithful readers from the HP fandom_**: this story is going to be quite different from my HP ones. You know that ALL of my long HP fics contain the following elements: shagging, pregnancy, proposal, marriage. Well, this one WON'T have any of these. Just so that you know what to expect (what NOT to expect). There will be one recurrent motif that all of my HP fics have, but it has nothing to do with any romance or sex (I wonder whether you'll manage to find out what this recurrent motif is). In this fic, there's going to be a small portion of romance, lust, but no sex at all. Even without those, the story is going to be 'dangerous' enough to merit a PG-13 rating, so don't expect a completely innocent fic, because it will not be. As one of my proof-readers Ildi put it: the story has some 'morbid' aspects ;) 

**_General note_**: I ship Artemis/Holly, so this fic is going to be an A/H fic. However, it won't be your average A/H fic. What do I mean by the 'average A/H fic'? Well, in most A/H fics Holly decides that she misses Artemis, so she visits him and tells him she loves him. Artemis suddenly realises that he loves her too, and then they kiss and perhaps even shag. Fics with such plots are cute – I like them – but my fic will be very far from that. No sappy, unbelievable romance, but an interesting plot, adventures, and – hopefully - everyone in character. Romance will be important but NOT central to the story, since I can't imagine Artemis going all mushy. I see Artemis as someone for whom emotions are almost completely unknown, so he can't fall in love easily shakes head. Arty's a difficult case. A very difficult one, and I'll keep him like that. 

At first the fic will not be a particularly fast paced one. About ten chapters of build-up are needed, but after that the adventure is guaranteed, so please be patient and keep reading! 

Also, the first few chapters will be quite short, but as the story progresses, the chapters will get longer and longer. I'm no fan of twenty-line chapters like most people here in the AF section of ffnet. I hope some of you actually LIKE long chapters :) 

**Big thanks to:**  
- Mum for being the considerate and constructive plot beta  
- Kati for the proofreading and the criticism that made me improve the fic  
- Ildi for the proofreading and for bringing smiles to my face with her long and descriptive compliments – no one can write as heart-felt and heart-warming compliments as she can!  
- Eve for the grammar beta and for putting up with all the mistakes of the 'Evil Lady of the Sith'  
- Indigo Ziona for the biochemistry vocabulary and her help with the blood groups  
- Doug for his support and his help with howler monkeys  
- Michael for his help with difficult English phrases, Latin and poison dart frogs  
- members of the Green Flame Torch group, for helping me out with my English and with police ranks  
- Terry Deary whose book the 'Angry Aztecs' was highly inspiring  
- those who uploaded such wonderful and useful lectures on the Aztecs onto the Internet 

Okay, enough of my rant, on with the story! 

* * *

**__**

**_ARTEMIS FOWL: THE AZTEC INCIDENT_**  
  
**Chapter 1**

**I Wish Fowl Were Here**  
  
_Six months after The Eternity Code_

Haven was in chaos. Streetlamps were malfunctioning, furious fairies in various transport vehicles and wearing various sets of wings were shaking their fists at the unfortunate LEP traffic cop who was waving hysterically trying to direct them; but with the traffic lights out of order, he was fighting a losing battle with the ever-growing amount of vehicles and shouting fairies.

* * *

"All lights are gone! I'm afraid! I want to go home to Mummy!" whined Grub Kelp in Root's office at Police Plaza, only to get a kick in the shin from his brother. "But Trub, really, we should go home, we can't do anything here without electricity! Let's just go home and wait there until Foaly gets all right again!"

Trouble Kelp shook his head and decided not to comment on Grub's whining. However, deep in his heart he felt ten percent… all right, _fifty_ percent of the fear Grub was feeling. They had been in dire situations before - just to mention the Fowl incident or the goblin uprising - but this one could easily evolve into the worst situation they had ever been in. Why, oh why, did Foaly have to get the flu just before the whole LEP electronic and communication infrastructure crashed? Had the centaur been able to leave the bed for just five minutes, he would have been able to mend the problem for sure; but he was too sick for that, drifting in and out of consciousness. No one knew how on Earth the centaur got this nasty human disease, but it proved to affect the unfortunate technician like the most dangerous type of pneumonia would affect a Mud Man, not to mention that fairy healing powers seemed pretty ineffective against it. 

Right after the crash of the 'pony electronic and telecommunication system', Foaly's technician crew hurried to fix the problem, but they had to realise that not for nothing had Foaly been called paranoid: their attempts at accessing the control panels were futile, for the centaur had made sure that no one would be able to tamper with it. The technicians, with their limited mental capacity, were unable to break into the password-protected system and cursed every single four-legged ancestor of the centaur.

* * *

Chaos.  
Panic.  
Disorder.

That's what you get when you let the whole technical infrastructure of Lower Elements Police into the hands of one single person. But then again, even if the Council had decided to replace Foaly or extend the group of people in charge of the telecommunication system, they would have had to realise that it was impossible. Foaly was simply indispensable. No matter how many times Commander Root had threatened Foaly with the prospect of getting the sack, everyone – Foaly himself included - knew he didn't mean it. Like it or not, every single LEP fairy in Haven had to accept that with Opal Koboi taking a long rest at Howler's Peak, there was no one else clever enough to cope with the development and maintenance of the technological system – no one else, but the centaur. 

And that centaur was lying in a hospital, mumbling about iris cams and Neutrino 2002's in his feverish sleep, unable to do anything about the current situation.

* * *

"The technicians have given up," ex-Private now Corporal Chix Verbil announced to a very lethargic Commander Root.

The commander leant back into his armchair, massaging his temples. He had smoked more fungus cigars in the past five hours than he had in the past two weeks put together; but after a while he noticed that they didn't calm him down – on the contrary, he got more and more nervous by the second. In the feeble candlelight he looked older and more exhausted than his officers had ever seen him. As though Foaly's sickness hadn't been enough, now they even had to resort to using candles. He felt as though they had suddenly been transported back into the Stone Age. How utterly ridiculous! 

Well, certainly there _had_ been situations like this before, like the lockdown after the C Cube had pinged the LEP; but that one hadn't lasted as long as this one, and back then there had been Foaly to take care of things. Now, however…

* * *

Holly Short was eyeing Root with a worried expression. If the commander's head got just a little redder than it was already, it would surely burst.

"All right, Commander?" she asked in a small voice. 

Root heaved a huge sigh and shook his head. "How could I be all right, Short? I won't be all right until Foaly gets his furry backside off that hospital bed and fixes everything. For a moment I wished…" His voice trailed off and his tired glance travelled from Holly to Chix to the Kelp brothers. 

"Yes? What did you wish for, Commander?" enquired Trouble. 

Root shuddered as though awoken from some sort of a daze, then waved. "Nothing, nothing. It was just a stray thought, not important at all…" 

"Are you sure, Commander?" Captain Short arched an eyebrow at Root. 

"You'd only think I'm on the verge of nervous breakdown if I told you… which I'm not, of course!" Root's voice rose in pitch.  
"No one ever assumed you _were_ nearing a nervous breakdown, Commander." Holly smiled. "Do you, people?" She turned to the others present in Root's office. 

"Actually we did," Grub chimed in, only to get another kick in the shin from his brother. 

"Certainly we didn't, Commander," Trouble said hastily. 

Root squinted at Holly who had to hide a grin and straighten her face to look as serious as possible and as supportive-of-Commander-Root as possible. She cleared her throat. "Er, so, what exactly did you wish for, Commander?" 

"Do you promise you won't laugh?" Root asked sceptically. For a second he reminded Holly of a lost child. 

"We promise we won't laugh, don't we?" Captain Short shot the male officers a peremptory look. Grub cringed and started nodding his head enthusiastically. 

"All right," sighed Root. "Just… just a thought crossed my mind… about Fowl." 

"As in _Artemis_ Fowl?" Holly blinked, slightly surprised. 

"How many other Fowls do you know, Captain?" grunted Root. 

"Well, there's Angeline Fowl, and Artemis Fowl the First…" Holly started counting on her fingers but stopped when her eyes met the commander's strict glance. "What about Fowl?" 

"He's a genius." 

"We know that. So?" replied the young female captain in a drawling voice. She had a feeling she wouldn't like this discussion at all and already cursed her damn curiosity. 

The mere mention of the name 'Artemis Fowl' created a sinking sensation in her stomach. She knew she should be happy that the People managed to get rid of the annoying Mud Boy; yet, inexplicably to her, she felt guilty. Guilty, because they had 'violated' Artemis's mind and played with his memories at their pleasure. Certainly, it was for the greater good, for the sake of the People, but Holly couldn't help thinking it was unjust. Every time this feeling tried to sneak into her soul and poison it, she reminded herself of all the nasty things Artemis had done to her and the fairies, and for a while this method helped to calm her conscience. Only _for a while_, though… 

"So what? He created the C Cube, remember?" the commander grunted. "He coped with fairy technology. And for some reason I believe he'd be able to manage the current situation. Or am I wrong?" He looked up to meet his officers' eyes, seeing a mixture of confusion and interest in them. 

"Actually, Commander, I think you're right," agreed Captain Kelp. "But if I may voice my opinion…" 

"Go ahead." Root sighed. 

"Commander, I thought you were happy to be rid of Fowl for ever. Would it be wise to bring him here again and give him his  
memories back?" 

"I never said that I wanted to bring him here and give him his memories back, Captain," replied Root somewhat irritably. 

"Then?" interjected Holly. She had absolutely no idea what Root could have in mind, but she had some sort of a foreboding. A foreboding, that she shouldn't even have got up in the morning, for this day would turn out catastrophic. Perhaps _even more _catastrophic than it already was. 

"I merely said that I thought Fowl would be able to fix the problem. Just in theory." 

"In theory, I see!" Grub Kelp nodded, although in fact he didn't understand a thing. 

"But what is this theory good for?" Chix Verbil scratched his head, looking contemplative. The contemplative look didn't suit him at all. 

"For the time being – nothing," replied Root. "In the future – perhaps." 

Captain Short shook her head disbelievingly. "I really don't get it, Commander. You think Fowl would be able to solve a situation like this, yet you don't want him to come here and solve it…" 

"Listen here, Short. According to the warlock medics, Foaly's illness is called something like floo, and it takes usually a week for a human to heal out of it. Very likely it won't take much longer for Foaly to heal either. One week with disabled communication is bad enough, but somehow still… bearable. However, I was thinking of the future. What if a situation even more serious than this occurs and Foaly isn't around to help?" 

"Then I'll go home to Mummy!" whimpered Grub at the horrible mental image of a situation that could be called 'more serious' than this one. 

After a short pause it was Holly who spoke up: "We'll need to find a substitute for Foaly." 

Root nodded solemnly. "Exactly, Captain." 

"But… _Fowl_?" interjected Trouble. 

"Well, not necessarily Fowl himself… just a person with the same mental abilities as Fowl." The commander shrugged. 

"But how do we get someone with the same mental abilities?" wondered Chix. "The only other person as clever as Fowl is Foaly!" 

"Well, that's exactly what is problematic about the theory." Root nodded and lit another fungus cigar. 

"What… what if Fowl had a kid? It'd very likely be as clever as him," said Grub just as the other officers got a serious bout of coughs. 

"Shuuuut up!" groaned Trouble, waving his hand to be able to breath amidst the smoke Root was blowing at them. The last thing he needed was to get on Root's bad side because of his stupid little brother who couldn't keep his mouth shut. However, what Root said next appalled him and everyone else in the room. 

"You're perfectly right, Corporal." 

"Am I?" Grub blinked as a huge grin spread on his face. 

"Is he?" Chix frowned. 

"As a matter of fact, he is," commented Holly. "It all comes down to genetics. There's a big chance that any child of Fowl's would be a genius like him." 

"I fear I still don't see the point," Trouble said. 

"Because you're stupid, bro." Grub smirked. "We have to make sure Arty has a kid and raise it in the LEP." 

"You and your big ideas, Grub." Captain Kelp rolled his eyes. 

"It is a big idea, Captain," said Root. 

"It is?" Grub's grin widened even more. 

"Are you saying my brother isn't as much of a simpleton as we thought he was?" Trouble asked incredulously. 

"In his own simple way he can be quite clever," admitted Root, and Holly would have sworn she saw the shadow of a smile in the corner of the commander's mouth. "Corporal, just carry on like this, and who knows? You might be made captain soon."  
Trouble was at a loss for words while Grub beamed like an idiot. 

"But… but Commander?" Holly spoke up, "How on earth can we get Artemis Fowl to father a child and let us raise it? A bit far-fetched, isn't it?" 

"Well…" Root mused, his eyes distant, as though deep in thought, "Fowl wouldn't have to know. He'd only be a… how to put it? Donor." 

"But Commander, Fowl's a child, not likely that he'll have a child any time soon… and even if we waited for him to have a child, would we sink so low as to… kidnap it? And… and… raise a _Mud Man_ among the fairies?" Holly was practically shouting at the end of her tirade. The commander surely didn't mean it – did he? 

After Holly's heated speech, silence fell on the office; and it was again Grub Kelp who first found his voice: "The kid could be half-fairy…" 

"Half fairy? Are you out of your mind, Grub?" snapped Trouble. 

"Well, you know, if it were half-fairy, then the fairies would accept it… sort of." Grub shrugged. "Okay, okay, I know, I should shut up and go home to Mummy…" 

"You're not going anywhere, _Captain_ Grub Kelp," said Root. 

"Ca… captain?" stammered the younger Kelp brother while Trouble stared at Root as though the old fairy had suddenly grown two additional heads. 

"Half-fairy, eh?" Chix Verbil whistled. "Interesting idea: a child with Fowl's intelligence and a fairy's magic… not a bad combination. One question remains, though: who will be the mother?" 

Sometimes you just feel that people are looking at you, without seeing their unabashed stares. That's what Holly felt: several pairs of eyes fixed upon her. 

She shuddered and glanced in the direction of the commander and the officers. 

"WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT?"

* * *

****

**A/N:** why are you looking at me like that? Nothing naughty is coming, I swear! At least... not too naughty ;) Please be so kind and leave a review!


	2. The Project

**A/N:** since I got 27 reviews for the first chapter (which, I believe, is quite a lot in a small fandom like AF), I decided to be nice to you and update this quickly. If you'll continue to review nicely, you'll be getting quick updates ;) (blackmail rulez, huh?)  
This chapter contains some slightly 'naughty' stuff, so I mean the PG-13 rating! (However, it doesn't even come close to R-rated, don't worry).  
In case you're interested, I've made a coverart for this fic, you can view it by clicking on the link in my bio. Also, I created an Artemis Fowl fanart community on deviantart, you can find its link in my bio too. Feel free to join and send in your own AF arts! 

_El Shabang:_ sorry, but Chix barely has a few lines in the fic. 

_Miss Piratess_: I cannot say that everything will go well for Holly - she's going to suffer a lot, but... you know I love torturing the characters of my fics ;) 

_LittleGreenPerson_: so nice to see you here! I never knew you've read AF! :D Well, mythology is recurrent, but that's not what I meant by 'recurrent motif', it's something else that all of my long fics have and this one has too. Sorry to disappoint you, but Grub won't have a great role in the fic... 

_DarkFlower2113_: yes, there will be lots of laughter in the story. Certainly it will have darker/angstier parts as well, but overall it's a way more light-hearted fic than Fates. Btw, why were you sceptical about this fic before? And when exactly was that 'before'? Before I started uploading, or between reading the summary and the first chapter? Just wondering... 

_Swanny_: actually this time I don't have the whole fic pre-written, only most of it. Two more chapters need to be written, then it's ready ;) Your fic-idea sounds cool, I haven't seen a fic about Grindelwald yet. 

_Mistri, Tonks' Admirer_: how nice of you to try and read this when you don't know a thing about Artemis Fowl! I suggest you read the AF books, because you won't understand this fic without reading them. As for Root and fungus cigars - he smokes them all the time in the books! About Trouble's and Grub's names: Trouble loves fighting, while Grub is cowardly and whiny. As for floo, Root just misspelled flu, becase he isn't familiar with Mud Man illnesses. 

_C-chan1_: I didn't know that the word 'shag' was mentioned so often in Austin Powers. I saw the movie (the first one), but didn't really like it, and I saw it Hungarian, so I can't even remember the word 'shag' in it ;) No, I don't think Foaly would do something so drastic. He can protect his beloved computers without blowing up anyone :) Don't worry, Junior doesn't inherit the greed gene. And you know, I'm not even sure that Artemis was greedy due to genetics. I think it all comes down to the fact that his dad used to teach him 'Aurum est potestas' all the time when he was a child. It rubbed off on him. Junior will not be exposed to greedy people's lectures on greed so... he'll be a nice lil boy. A little bit cynical, a little bit cold, but overall nice ;) I agree with you on the H/Hr thing - that's what I always ask too: 'what happens to Ron, then?' Well, perhaps he can get Luna, but... I don't like the idea. Ron/Hermione (and Neville/Luna) forever (not to mention Harry/Ginny, of course)! I've read the no-shipper's anthem too, quite funny. 

_Sean Malloy-1_: yes, there will be plenty of Arty/Holly romance, but I will try to keep it not-too-mushy. Their romance will be more like the 'Han/Leia' sort of bickering love/hate relationship, because that's the only way I can imagine it between these two. Huge, dramatic, sappy love scenes just don't fit Artemis Fowl (IMHO)! 

_IndiaInk_: I'm glad you think I can paint vivid pictures with words. That's a huge praise for someone who writes in a language that isn't her native one :) 

_Epsilon2Delta_: see, Foaly saw to it that Junior would be a genius. As to why didn't Foaly have a kid - it will be mentioned and explained in the next chapter. Thanks for the congrats, I barely can believe that Fates got niffled at FAP, it's such a great honour! :D 

_Louise_: don't worry, you will see lots of Arty's reaction in chapter 5 and after that. Until then he cannot react, since he has no idea that he's been made a father... 

_Elfy19:_ you're right, there will be some 'culture lesson' here again, but not as much as in Fates, since the Aztecs are no longer around (at least not in reality) and I don't know nearly as much about them as I know about the Greeks. Yes, I watched most of the Olympics, but I have bad memories of it because two of our gold winners got their golden medals taken away from them. In neither of their cases was it proved that they had been taking drugs, so I find it damn unfair. I think I answered both the Mud Man-name and the genetics thing in this chapter. As for boxers or briefs... neither. Pyjamas ;) I haven't read Eragon, I barely had the time to read books over the summer, I only read the Fowl books for the third time and the first five of the Darren Shan books, that's all. 

_Artemaster_: well, the kid is auburn-haired, pale-faced, blue-eyed, over-vocabularised, but not a girl. 

Also thanks to: _septempopuli, BrownPryde, knonoka, Lady Kaazana, TrunkZy, cat44, BeatlesLover, Marfbag, Indigo Ziona, Holly Rox, sophianwin, Crescent Fresh, Golden-Vampyre-Goddess, leonsalanna_

And now, on with the story!

* * *

****

**Chapter 2**

****

**The Project**

  
  
_Two weeks later_

"No, no, no, no, NO!" shouted Mulch. "I'm NOT doing that, Julius!" 

"May I remind you that you have no other choice, convict?" Commander Root folded his arms in front of his chest threateningly. It was about a week ago that the LEP had managed to round up the ever-escaping dwarf. True, his criminal record had been miraculously cleared after the C Cube incident, and all the LEP could do then was release him; but Mulch just couldn't keep his kleptomaniac hands off other people's possessions. While trying to pay for a drink with the credit card he'd stolen from a member of the Council, he was unfortunate enough to see Holly Short enter that particular bar on the west end of Haven. With all the walls and the floor made of steel, nothing edible around, he just couldn't disappear from the bar and ran into Captain Short's inviting arms... inviting handcuffs, to be exact. 

"I guarantee you a sentence eighty years shorter than it would normally be if you help us," Root carried on. "It's a deal, isn't it?" 

"Not for a job like this," grunted Mulch with an extremely grouchy expression. "Not to mention that you want to pull it off without the knowledge of the Council, don't you? What if it fails? What if _I _fail? You will be in no position to stand up with me before the Council, given that you acted without their consent! Thus, Julius, my answer remains 'no'. Especially because your idea is just… disgusting." The dwarf shuddered at the mental image of himself doing what Root wanted him to do. 

"Oh come on, Mulch, don't say that stealing a bit of semen is any more disgusting than eating your way through heaps of fairy excrement! It's not like you have to eat… _it_." 

"How good for me." Mr. Diggums snarled. "I said what I said: I'm not game, Julius. Just leave me in prison eighty years longer, I don't care, but I'm not going to do this!" 

"Not even for a greater good?" Captain Holly Short, who had been silent until now, spoke up. "Not even if you knew that this would secure a safer life for the People?" 

"Hah! What do I care for the People?" Mulch waved theatrically. "It was the People who kept chasing me and arresting me, never letting me live the peaceful life of a millionaire… I can't even enjoy my beautiful Oscar collection because of the People! And tell me, Captain, why are _you_ supporting Julius' idiotic idea?" 

"At first I didn't support it either," Holly replied reluctantly. "I don't like the idea of having a child by Fowl any more than you do, but if I can help the People with it… you know Foaly won't be around forever-" 

"True, I might decide to go on holiday to Hawaii. God knows I'd deserve it – haven't been on holiday for four hundred years!" the centaur interjected. He had been released from hospital four days ago and Root had immediately filled him in on their plan concerning Fowl. Foaly supported the idea under one condition: if _he_ got to train the kid. One would think that the centaur wouldn't like the idea of training someone who could one day be his rival like Opal Koboi had been; but once Root deliberately let slip that the trainee would very likely be Foaly's admirer for centuries to come, the centaur was persuaded.  
Besides his computers the only thing he liked was being flattered. 

The dwarf sized up the centaur, then his gaze shifted to the only female LEP officer. She looked back at him with some sort of gentle determination. 

Finally, Mulch turned to the commander. "One hundred and twenty years. No less than that." 

"Eighty," insisted Root. 

"One hundred and ten." Mulch bargained. 

"Ninety." 

"Hundred." 

"Deal." Root nodded. 

A delighted grin spread on the dwarf's face. He hadn't expected such a favourable outcome to this negotiation. "Right then, how do I do it?" 

"Foaly will fill you in on the details," answered Root and beckoned to the centaur who galloped to them with a tiny, flat disk in his hand. 

"This is a Dream Inducer," he announced, showing it to the dwarf. "A bit like the Sleeper Deeper, but not completely. Once you're in Fowl's room, you have to place this on his forehead. It's feather-light, if he's in a deep slumber, he won't notice a thing and most definitely won't wake until one hour _after_ his dream is over." 

"What sorts of dreams does this induce?" Mulch frowned, sceptically staring at the tiny gadget. 

"Whatever you load into it. If you want to dream about ladybirds and dragonflies, then you just load a suitable documentary film into the Dream Inducer, and voila, you'll dream about those cute little insects. Actually I managed to save some really wonderful documentaries on insect life from National Geographic-" 

"Foaly, to the point," Root cut in. 

"Yeah, yeah, okay." The centaur waved impatiently. "I have downloaded some… raunchy stuff from the Internet. You wouldn't believe how many porn sites there are and how easy it is to break into those that are only accessible for money…"  
Catching Root's disapproving glance, Foaly cleared his throat. "Hem-hem… so, where was I? Yeah, the Dream Inducer. I happened to fill its memory with the contents of one particularly explicit Mud Man movie. There's no way it wouldn't affect our little pubescent friend, genius or not. You'll have to stay with him in the room Mulch, preferably hide in a corner until his dream is over, and then you just… collect the… _material_." 

Mulch winced at the mental image. "How… how do I collect it?" 

Foaly fished a test tube and something that looked like a common, but very tiny paintbrush out of a drawer. "Lift his blanket, touch this ultra-sensitive brush to the um… stain, then drop the brush into the test tube and seal it. You won't even have to dirty your hands, Diggums." 

"And what about that thingie?" Mulch pointed at the Dream Inducer. "Although not too likely, Arty might be able to find out what it is as soon as he wakes up. He's quite smart." 

"You know, that's the other part of my brilliant idea." Foaly straightened his back to look as smug as possible. "Once the dream is over, the disk launches a self-destruct process." 

Holly let out a small gasp and her eyes widened. Seeing the shock on her face, the centaur shook his head. 

"Don't worry, it won't blow up into Artemis's face, it'll just evaporate. Totally harmless and there won't even be a single mark on Arty's flawless skin once this is over. He won't have the slightest idea what happened… with the exception of realising that his pyjama needs a wash." Foaly winked at Holly who allowed herself a grin. She still couldn't believe she'd agreed to this, but if she could help her people with donating an egg, then so be it. After all, she didn't need to carry that child to term, she didn't have to go through a painful birth – her 'sacrifice' was minor compared to the greater good she was making it for. Sometimes it crossed her mind that she'd step back or persuade Root to find another egg-donor, but she knew that it wouldn't be advisable to let more people in on their plans. If it got to the Council's ears, the project might be stopped before it even started. 

If everything went all right, then they would have the required sperm by tomorrow mid-day, and the 'project' – as Holly called the child-to-be in her mind – would be placed into a womb-simulating tank Foaly had hastily built for the purpose. 

"Here." Foaly handed Mulch the Dream Inducer. "Take care of it… and you can take care of yourself too. Not that it'll be as dangerous to break into Fowl Manor this time as it was two years ago… They aren't expecting anyone now, and since you'll be visiting overnight, it's not likely that they'll be keeping an eye on the cameras. But don't worry, I'll tamper a bit with them again so they won't record your little visit at all." 

"Good to hear," said Root. "It would be highly unpleasant if Fowl saw you on a tape recorded by their cameras and suddenly remembered our world. We can't risk that." 

A smirk spread on the dwarf's face. He couldn't wait to get out of here and 'go missing in action'. He did not intend to accomplish this stupid semen-collecting task, neither did he intend to return to Haven and subject himself to the LEP. No. Actually what he was planning was to go to Fowl Manor, not to accomplish the task, but to give Artemis his fairy coin back. And then, they'd be _unstoppable_ – as Artemis had phrased it in his letter to Mulch. Oh yes - that would be the perfect way of taking revenge on the LEP: bringing Fowl's memories back! 

"While we're already talking about risks," Foaly continued, "you'll have to wear this." He showed something to Mulch. 

"Another iris cam?" 

"More than that." The centaur grinned. "This one, my friend, cannot be discarded and put into the eye of a dying rabbit. Only _I_ can take it out of your eye. Oh, almost forgot: it has a built-in self-destruction mechanism too. However, this one isn't as gentle as the Dream Inducer… it blows your head off if I don't remove it within twenty-four hours. So, you'll just have to come back, old boy." 

The smirk vanished from Mr. Diggums' face. Damn that centaur.

* * *

_Next day_

Foaly was bent over the microscope, examining something in a shallow glass case that Mud People called a petri dish.  
"Okay… good… they are really vivid, athletic ones, that Arty kid can be proud…" 

Mulch made a grimace as he realised what the centaur was talking about. 

"No problem with Fowl, was there?" asked Holly, just to direct the conversation to another subject, given that the athletic quality of Artemis's seed was the last thing she felt like discussing. "No one saw you, did they, Mulch?" 

"Nah." The dwarf waved. "Everyone was in bed, and Arty himself was sleeping like a baby." A grin appeared on Mr. Diggums's face. "He was also muttering about babies in his sleep…" 

"What?" gasped Holly. Fowl couldn't possibly know what they were doing to him… he couldn't possibly know that he was unknowingly fathering a child! "What babies?" 

"Well, you know…" Mulch giggled, "he kept muttering 'yes, baby, yes, don't stop!'" 

Captain Short rolled her eyes and felt like kicking the dwarf for almost giving her a heart attack, but deep down she felt relieved. Artemis was still unaware of the project, and if she could help it, he'd never ever get to know. For a second she thought that it wasn't fair what they were doing, for every father should have the right to know their children, but Artemis… he was just a child himself, what good would it do if they told him? Perhaps he'd even try to take the child away from them – he was selfish, after all, wasn't he? Well, if Holly thought it over, she could have mentioned a few cases when the boy had shown humanity, when he'd placed the interests of others before his own… but that didn't mean he was a good person! Or was he? Holly decided it wasn't worth troubling herself with Fowl's possible feelings – _if_ Fowl had feelings at all, which Holly had doubted on several occasions. 

"Yes!" yelped Foaly, making Holly shudder and come out of her reverie. "If I'm not mistaken, a Y chromosome has just joined an X! Congratulations, Holly, you have a son!" 

Captain Short wasn't the easily shaken type, but now she felt her knees buckle. 

_She was going to be a mother._

Up till now it had just been a plan, the so-called 'project', and she had willed herself to think of it without any emotions, but now it had come true. It wasn't just a plan anymore; it was… a life. No, actually it wasn't even an 'it', it was a 'he'. Her little son. 

"May I?" She stepped to Foaly's microscope and the centaur stepped back to make room for her. She peered through the tiny hole to look at _him_. He wasn't much to behold, just a fertilised egg that would soon start to multiply. What would he be like? For a second Holly hoped that her son would resemble her rather his father, otherwise he'd have to endure nasty comments from the fairies throughout his life. For a fairy there was no bigger insult than the assumption that he had Mud Man blood in him… so if this child resembled Artemis, then he'd be exposed to such insults from an early age. 

Foaly tapped her shoulder to make her move aside and let him bend over the microscope again. He was holding some sort of a micropipette in his hand, an even more sophisticated one than the one he'd used for placing the egg into the glass case. 

"What are you doing?" Holly frowned. 

"Just a bit of gene-manipulation, dear Captain," replied the centaur. 

"Gene-manipulation?" Holly had always been against such 'unnecessary' meddling with life forms. That's why she never ever ate gene-manipulated vegetables. 

"It's necessary," reasoned Foaly. "We can't let that kid inherit the wrong qualities from the wrong parents. He has to inherit your magic and looks but Fowl's intelligence. Now imagine what it'd be like if he looked exactly like Fowl but inherited your… limited mental abilities." 

"_Limited_?" Holly hissed, her eyes sparkling with fury. 

"You know what I meant." The centaur waved to placate her. "You're a clever girl Holly, but admit that you're not nearly as clever as Fowl. And if we don't make sure your son inherits the proper qualities from both parents, then all our efforts were for nothing." 

Holly couldn't argue this, Foaly was right. 

"Just out of mere curiosity," Mulch spoke up, "who will bring him up?" 

"Holly, Foaly and I," replied Commander Root. 

"You?" The dwarf was having a hard time not to guffaw into Root's face. The last thing he could imagine was the old fairy changing nappies. 

"Shared responsibility," explained the commander. "Holly will be the official mother, Foaly will be the teacher and I…" He paused to think what 'title' he should give himself in the Fowl/Short baby's life. "I'll be Uncle Julius." 

Now Mulch was practically rolling on the floor laughing. "Uncle… Uncle Julius! Hahahaha!" 

"Couldn't you act a bit more maturely, convict?" grunted Root. 

"It's not me who's immature, Julius, but you!" The dwarf pointed out, tears of laughter spilling down his cheeks. 

"As far as I remember, I never let you call me Julius!" snapped the commander. "And may I ask _why_ you think I'm acting immaturely?" 

"Because you actually _believe_ that you can pull this off without anyone suspecting anything," answered Mulch, wiping away the tears of laughter. "Tell me, even if Foaly manages to hide that womb-tank-thingie until the child is developed enough to 'be born', won't people be wondering how Holly suddenly has a child although she hadn't been pregnant at all?" 

"We've already thought about that," replied Holly matter-of-factly. "To the world my son will be the orphaned son of my second-cousin. I'll be the gracious relative who took him to raise after his parents tragically evaporated in a magma flare. Foaly will forge an ID for the baby and there'll be no problem at all." _At least I hope so_, she added in thought. 

"This still can cause problems," Mulch voiced his opinion. 

"Yeah, yeah, and it will _definitely_ cause problems as long as you know about it," added Foaly, still bent over the microscope. 

"What do you mean?" The dwarf raised an eyebrow. 

"We mean that we can't let you know about it," said Root. 

Mulch gulped. "You aren't… aren't planning to wipe my memories?" 

"We're sorry Mulch," sighed Holly, and she _did_ look sorry. "We already wiped the baby-related memories of the Kelp brothers and Chix, so Grub doesn't remember why he'd been made Captain at all… but of course his mind created an alternative memory for that, so no problem at all. They're all better off not knowing. Safer too." 

"And what about the promised hundred years, Julius? Are you going to make me forget that too?" croaked Mulch. 

Holly and Root exchanged a slightly guilty look. 

"We will only wipe the baby-related parts of your memories, so not to worry, convict. You will properly remember everything else." 

"Still not fair!" whined the dwarf. 

"I know." Holly hung her head. She wondered how many more unfair and illegal steps they'd have to take just to accomplish the plan… Perhaps they shouldn't even have started it. Perhaps it was a bad idea after all… But there was no way to back out anymore, for Patrick was created. 

She hid a smile. She couldn't deny that she'd been _expecting_ the child – not like other women did, but still, in her own way she'd been expecting it, thinking of names and imagining herself teaching the child all the fighting techniques she knew, teaching him how to pilot a shuttle… 

Perhaps the others would find her choice of names slightly weird, for it wasn't a usual fairy name, but the boy was half-Irish,  
and with a little luck he'd be a real blessing to Haven, like a patron saint… 

Yeah, Patrick was a suitable name, Holly decided. 

"Gene manipulation ready," Foaly announced. "This little bloke here is going to be perfect, I'm telling you." 

Holly ushered the centaur away from the microscope to have one more look at her son before he was put into the tank.

"Welcome to the world, Patrick Short."

* * *

**A/N:** so, what do you think? Do tell me, please (in other words: review)! 

You might be wondering why they decided to use a womb-simulating tank instead of Holly carrying the baby. My grammar beta's husband Doug asked the same question, and I thought that perhaps he's not the only one who needs an explanation. Well, true that Foaly manipulated the genes of the child-to-be-born, but it is possible that he couldn't manipulate all 'parametres' of the kid, so the possibility cannot be excluded that the kid would come close to a human baby's birth size by the time he develops enough to 'be born'. As you know, human babies are around 50 centimetres long, and Holly is merely one metre tall, thus she couldn't risk to carry and give birth to a child half her size. 

The rest of the chapters will be considerably longer than the first two. 

Next chapter: you're going to meet twelve-year-old Patrick Short. Stay tuned! :)


	3. About a boygenius

**A/N:** here's Patrick Short for you. Hope you'll like him... at least a bit. 

_Miss Piratess_: yup, torturing characters is FUN! evil grin 

_BrownPryde_: well, little Patrick Short isn't COMPLETELY the boy they wanted, but close to that ;) When will he meet his father? Let's see... in chapter 19, I believe... that's the chapter I'm currently writing, and that's almost the end. So they won't meet until the end... 

_sophianwin_: truth be told there's no room in the fic to include Grub's verion of how he became Captain. But if you wish, you can write it in an outtake ;) 

_DreamWeaverKaisa_: I'm a meticulous speller _and_ have a good beta :) Glad you couldn't find any mistakes. But if you do, feel free to tell me! 

_VampirePeaches_: Foaly only did the gene-manipulation, but he didn't tamper with the gender. The fact that Holly's kid is a boy isn't Foaly's doing, it's _mine_ ;) How to make A/H make out? Hmm... that's a hard question. I had a real problem with this when I was writing later chapters of this fic, because I wanted to make sure that the fic didn't get mushy, and kissing would turn it mushy, so... I arranged a few kisses under quite unromantic circumstances. That, of course, doesn't mean that you should do the same. I've read some fluffy A/H fics with lots of kisses and found them cuuuute :D Certainly I left out the part where Mulch collected the 'material', because that would have come close to R-rated, don't you think? ;) 

_TrunkZy:_ if I had made Holly 'rape' Arty, it would have been a) R-rated (or close to that), b) too much like certain scenes in my Harry Potter fics and I didn't want to do anything similar here, c) I can't imagine Holly and Artemis having sex, because Artemis is obviously way.. hem-hem... bigger ;) About a year ago I didn't like the name Patrick either. My mum's colleague has a son called Patrick, and that's a very unusual name in Hungary (that's where I live), and I thought the name was stupid. But when I started to search for names for this fic, I wanted to give the boy a tipically Irish name, and Patrick was the one I liked the most, because I definitely didn't like Seamus or Liam - _shrugs-. _And as I wrote more and more about Patrick Short, I learned to like the name :) I hope you'll learn to like it too, or at least get used to it! 

_DarkFlower2113_: revolting, huh? As I wrote in the A/N of the first chapter: there are some _morbid _parts, LOL. I'm glad you aren't sceptical about this fic any longer. I assume you thought I couldn't write in Colfer's high tech style. Well, I don't even want to. I'm writing in my own, AgiVegaish style ;) 

_LittleGreenPerson_: Patrick's heigh is in the middle - he's a bit taller than Holly but considerably shorter than a 12-year-old human boy. He's just 110 centimetres tall, after all. 

_BeatlesLover_: did Patrick look like a girl on the coverart? Hmm... I was aiming for male-looks with the short hair... oh well. Patrick is 12, both by human and fairy years. I think humans and fairies count time the same way, a year is 365 days for both species... at least Colfer never wrote the opposite. So Patrick would be a 12-year-old boy if he lived among humans, and that would mean he's an adolescent. However, in the fairy world his 12 years make him younger, and not an adolescent yet. It's a bit difficult to explain, LOL. So let's just say that since he has human/fairy gene-mixture, he ages slower than humans but quicker than fairies. Thus, he also lives much longer than humans, but not as long as fairies. I'd say his life-expectancy is about 800-900 years, while a normal fairy can live for millennia. 

_septempopuli_: I hope you're going to find Patrick precocious enough :) 

_Epsilon2Delta_: I think I proved your suspicion right in this chapter :) Glad you think the dialogue was witty, and especially that you found the technical details convincing. It's hard for me to write about high tech... 

_C-chan1_: I'm glad I've given you great joy by making you imagine Root changing nappies :D 

_cocoaducks_: his parents won't say anything, because they won't find out. If I happened to write a sequel, then they _would_ find out that their 'little' Arty has a son, but not in this fic. 

_The OddBird_: my dad hasn't read it, just my mum (my dad doesn't even know I'm writing fanfics and I'm not telling him because he's too conservative). My mum is very liberal-minded and she doesn't mind if I write raunchy stuff - she even read my old Star Wars fics that were NC-17 rated and liked them ;) 

_the coffee fiend_: what? You haven't reviewed since The Greatest Shame? Really? That's funny because I still remember your name, even you reviewed a loooong time ago. Glad to see you again! :D 

_Indigo Ziona:_ glad you found the biochemy part credible, but that's only because you helped me ;) 

Also thanks to: _Marfbag, IndiaInk, leafs-gurl999, the cherri ookami, Nutrino, Holly Rox, Mademoiselle Dreizehn, blue-flames_

* * *

**Chapter 3**

**About a boy-genius**   
  
Holly barely could believe it: her son had turned twelve years old. Twelve long years had passed and they just seemed to fly by… as though it had been yesterday that Root had come up with the idea of creating an assistant/substitute for Foaly, and now Patrick was already celebrating his twelfth birthday! 

She had to stuff her fist into her mouth not to laugh aloud when Root arrived for the birthday party wearing a lilac-green striped party hat. With the beard he'd grown since he'd retired from the LEP, he looked exactly like a parody version of Gandalf (once Foaly had downloaded the Lord of the Rings trilogy from a Mud Man server to his personal disks. After a bit of 'convincing' from Holly - i.e. pointing a Neutrino 2005 at the centaur - he made copies for other fairies as well, and in no time almost everyone in Haven became a rabid Lord of the Rings fan.) 

Holly watched as Grub Kelp carried the birthday cake (a wonderful Atlantean lichen cake filled with algae-sauce – Patrick's favourite) into the room. Twelve holo-candles were burning on top of it, casting iridescent light on Captain Kelp's face. 

Trouble and Chix were cheering while Root and Foaly began singing _Happy Birthday._

Amidst all these happy people only the birthday boy looked sullen. Not that it was very out of character for him to be forlorn…   
This is where the story needs a bit of digression and a few words on Patrick Short are required.

* * *

Patrick was very likely the most unusual fairy that Haven had ever seen – perhaps because he wasn't even a pureblood fairy. But 99.999 of Haven's inhabitants had absolutely no idea. Not even Patrick himself – or at least Holly, Root and Foaly thought so… but they had underestimated the boy. For the boy was a genius. Even more so than they'd expected him to be. 

He had a great talent at hiding his capabilities. Whenever Foaly lectured him on managing the computer system, he showed to be an adept and proved to Foaly that he understood everything he was taught; however, he hid the fact that he understood more than he was letting on to the centaur. This was needed to keep Foaly believing that he was still the best technician around, for Patrick knew how vain the centaur was. 

Whenever Foaly left him alone in the Ops to let him 'exercise the basics', he used the opportunity to look around in the password-protected systems and wrote some programs of his own which he carefully hid from curious centaur-eyes, disguised as innocent programs like lichencakemaker.exe. If Foaly happened to stumble upon Patrick's little ventures-into-technology and opened those files, he found himself looking at a database of online cake recipes. And given the boy's well-known fascination with lichen cakes, the centaur had absolutely no reason to find it suspicious. 

Well, he should have. 

Back to Patrick. 

As said before, he was an exceptional boy, and a lonely one at that. Not that his mother, Uncle Julius and his mentor Foaly hadn't cared for him a lot, but fairies of his own age definitely didn't. It wasn't surprising, though. First of all, Patrick had to be taken out of kindergarten after, at the age of four, he refused to play hide-and-seek with his little mates, saying it was childish and he had more serious things to attend to, like reading _Frond_ (a fairy epic as long as Homer's Odyssey) and getting acquainted with the basic programming languages. 

In his first elementary school year, after only three months, Miss Math, in the middle of a class on adding and subtracting, caught Patrick reading metaphysics under his desk. Miss Music complained about him not singing O Merry Fairyland along with the others, because he was too occupied writing a symphony at the back of the classroom. After those three months spent in the first class, Patrick got sent directly into the fourth class, where he remained another three months, until he drove Mr History crazy by giving a lecture on why the eleventh dwarf king of the seventh dynasty was a lousy strategist. 

After only two years of education, Patrick found himself in the graduating class of _Haven High_, and it took him a mere twenty months to finish his studies at the _Underground University of Sciences_. He got a degree in Biochemistry – naturally summa cum laude. 

Patrick Short was the youngest fairy to get a university degree, and as the news of his miraculously early graduation spread, fairy mothers got into the habit of mentioning his name when telling off their children for bad grades: 'if you only took a leaf out of that Patrick Short's book, then you wouldn't be such a disgrace to the family!' 

At first Patrick, being as introverted as he was, had no idea how many fellow-students hated and envied him for being clever and successful. He never paid attention to his classmates and assumed that they didn't care for him either; but one day, on his way home from Police Plaza, he got attacked by a gang of drunken teenage gnomes. When he finally got home, sporting two black eyes and innumerable bleeding wounds that his instant healing hadn't properly mended yet, he decided he was fed up with being who he was. He had been aware of being 'different' from a very early age, but up till now it hadn't manifested itself so clearly and tangibly for him. 

People were jealous of him. 

While concentrating his magic on healing his remaining wounds he wondered for the umpteenth time why he was so different from everyone else. Certainly, his appearance was slightly unusual for a fairy, given that he was ten centimetres taller than the average and his ears were less pointed than they should have been, but Patrick felt that the major difference was to be found _inside_ him. He jogged to a mirror hanging above the washbasin to check whether his scratches had all healed (he didn't want to frighten his mother with a beaten-up face), and his deep blue eyes gazed into their mirror images, scrutinising his features. He had never been the type to pay attention to his looks; if he had said he'd looked into a mirror more than three times in his life, then he would have been lying. Now, however… his hand tentatively reached out to touch the mirror's cold surface, tracing the outline of his reflection. Patrick's glance fell upon his hands – they were different from the average fairy hands too. Less pointed fingers, nicer fingernails… 

Clearly Foaly's gene-manipulation hadn't been perfect, since Patrick had still inherited things other than just intelligence from Artemis Fowl. 

His eyes shifted back to his image, trying to comprehend something he had long longed to figure out. His fingers drew invisible circles on his cheeks (they were considerably paler than those of his mother) then they ran through his auburn hair. The only aspect of his appearance that resembled Holly Short was his hair colour. Surely Holly's second cousin – his alleged biological mother – must have had the same hair colour as hers. As for the rest of his features… those must have come from his father. If only he knew him… 

_Take this for being such an insufferable know-it-all!_ – The words of one gnome attacker echoed in his mind as he was studying his reflection. 

_Take that for making my parents want me to be like you, you stuck-up zombie!_ – Another gnome had shouted. 

_Zombie? I'd rather say half-human!_ – The third gnome had laughed. - _I bet he has Mud Man blood, that's what turned him like this, right Patrick Hightower? Really, what's your real name? Short? S-H-O-R-T! Hahaha!_

Patrick gasped, his blue eyes widening with shock. That insult hadn't even sunk in when he'd been showered with punches, but now it hit him. Hard. 

"Half-human?" he whispered to his reflection. The boy in the mirror shook his head, while the real one in front of the mirror thought he was either going mad or he had been lied to for twelve years. Twelve long years. 

"I have to find out," he mumbled and walked out of the bathroom with more determination than he had ever felt before. No one had the right to fool a Short! Especially not when that Short happened to be a genius.

* * *

"Oh, I was so proud of him when the Council asked him to do that project!" Julius Root patted Patrick's back with a benign, almost fatherly smile. "I always knew you'd do well, son, but I never thought I'd be this proud of you!" 

The boy gave his 'uncle' a forced smile and continued munching on his birthday cake. He simply didn't understand what he was doing here, surrounded by all these irritatingly cheerful people. This just wasn't his world. He had even tried to persuade his mother to 'forget' about his birthday this year, but Holly had insisted that Uncle Julius and Foaly would be hurt if there wasn't a party and they didn't get invited. 

"Really, what sort of project is that, Pat?" asked Chix Verbil from the other end of the table. 

The boy felt like shouting 'none of your business and don't ever call me Pat!' into the Corporal's stupid green face, but a placating glance from Holly made him change his mind. 

He forced another polite smile and turned to Chix. "It's a biochemistry project, Corporal. As you might have heard, the People are having more and more trouble with the Mud Men. The threat that Mud Men may discover our world during their excavations is growing. The Council believes that a good way of dealing with the problem would be to enable the People to mingle with Mud Men without them realising they are in fact elves, dwarves or gnomes. I'm working on a substance that turns pointed ears into human-like ears, gives dark skin a lighter shade equipping it with a natural defence mechanism against sunrays, and grows body height to 150-170 centimetres. This would also make the shielding unnecessary, and if the project is successful, then soon any fairy will be able to drink a Cola on the terrace of a Mud Man cafeteria or even eat ice-creams without being cold." 

"Ice-cream…" sighed Grub Kelp. "I always wanted to try it!" 

Trouble shot his brother a nasty look, then turned to Patrick. "Do you believe you can really manage this? This substance sounds horribly difficult to me!" 

"Only for the simpler minds," replied the boy with a hint of sarcasm. "I have absolutely no doubt that I will cope with the task. I was the best in biochemistry at the University, after all." 

"That's the spirit, my boy!" roared Root, but before he could pat Patrick's back again, the boy stood up. 

Holly gave him a questioning look. 

"Just… just a bit of headache, Mum. I'll be back soon," said young Short and left the living room as quick as his legs could carry him. 

He banged the door of his room shut and dropped himself on the couch, massaging his temples. Stupid people with their stupid little questions usually gave him a migraine, and cheery people slapping his back just worsened the situation. Not that he didn't like Julius, Foaly and the others. Sometimes they were even fun to talk to, but on certain occasions – like this – Patrick just couldn't stand them. Not to mention that hypocrisy and deceit belonged to those few things he hated most. How could he endure _liars_ patting him on the back in a fatherly way? He felt sick of it. Everyone who was out in the living room celebrating his birthday was a liar, a damn hypocrite. And the worst was that they all thought he'd never find out. 

"Patrick?" His mother's voice spoke up outside his door. 

His mother. The greatest liar of all. 

"Patrick, do you need a pain killer?" 

_All I need is to be left alone_, he thought bitterly. 

Since she didn't get an answer, Holly opened the door and entered. Her son's room was almost completely dark, and she, coming from the brightly-lit living room, needed time to get used to the darkness inside. When she finally managed to make out the outline of a body sitting in a crooked position at the end of the couch, she started walking towards it. 

"Don't come any closer," snapped the boy. 

"But Patrick…" Holly protested. She had wanted to sit down next to her son, hug him and ask him what bothered him, but the last thing the boy wanted was to be hugged. He had never been a cuddly child but had endured his mother's hugs and kisses on the rare occasion. Holly knew that the boy sort of loved her but was unable to show it, and after a while she had acquiesced herself to it. He would give her as much love as he could and she wouldn't ask for what he couldn't give. Still, deep in her heart it always hurt her. 

As a little girl she had imagined being a mother as something completely different: having a nice husband, a cute, cheerful child who asked her to tell him fairy tales before he went to sleep… As a pubescent fairy she had imagined hooking up with a handsome elf who'd show her what physical love was, she fantasised about carrying a child and thought of giving birth with dread… Yet as an adult she had to realise that none of her dreams had come true. She didn't know romantic love, nor sex, she hadn't carried a child inside of her and hadn't given birth… she didn't even have a chance to tell fairy tales and kiss her son good-night, for Patrick would have none of it. 

She was sure her son loved her in his own peculiar way, but she wished that one day he'd hug her and kiss her of his own free will, without having to ask him. As the years passed she got more and more certain that that day would never come. And now her son was pushing her away again. 

With a sigh she sank into an armchair three feet from the boy's couch. "What's the matter, Patrick?" She asked gently. 

"You. And everyone else. Life. The universe. And everything," came the sullen answer. 

Holly allowed herself a grimace, knowing for sure that her son couldn't see it. If she hadn't known him well enough, she would have thought he'd entered puberty. At least this answer sounded like that of a sulky teenager. 

"Well, that's a good reason to leave your birthday party and ruin everyone's good mood," she replied sarcastically. 

"Why?" said Patrick in a drawling voice, "Would you be more satisfied with my answer if I said I was fed up with being lied to?" 

"Being lied to?" Holly's voice sounded surprised. She got even more surprised when suddenly a bright light shone into her face coming from the couch's direction. Patrick must have switched on his laser torch. "Would you point that thing elsewhere?" 

"Not until you answer my questions." 

"What questions?" Holly furrowed her brow. Her son's little games could sometimes drive her crazy, and the worst was that they always reminded her of one Artemis Fowl. Amazing how much Patrick took after his father… amazing, and sometimes downright scary. 

"For example, why you all lied to me about my parentage." 

Holly gasped. "W…what?" 

"Don't play the innocent little girl, Mum. I'm no orphaned child of your second-cousin, for you never even had a second-cousin. My ID is a forgery by Foaly, isn't it?" 

Holly's face turned a light beige after all the blood had run out of it. Patrick, however, continued. 

"You are my real mother, at least you are the fairy who donated an egg; and Foaly bred me artificially, didn't he?" 

"Where… where do you get all these… ridiculous ideas?" 

"Ridiculous, are they?" The boy laughed icily. "I think not. As you might have noticed, Mother, I'm not an ordinary fairy. And that's because I'm not even a pureblood fairy. Did you think I wouldn't notice that I'm taller and paler than the average? Did you think I'd never try to find out _who_ and _what_ I am? If you thought so, then you were very naive. I have always known that something was amiss with me and recently I realised what it was: I'm half human. Half _Mud Man_, to put it correctly." 

Holly winced. 

"I wanted to know everything and I wanted to find it out on my own, because I assumed you'd never tell me," the boy carried on in an emotionless voice. 

Holly cast her eyes down, and not because the bright light of the torch hurt her eyes, but because she felt ashamed. They had indeed never wanted to tell Patrick the truth. But they had obviously underestimated the boy. "You're right, Patrick…" she muttered. "We didn't want to tell you… in your own interest." 

"In my interest?" snapped the boy. "Was it in my interest to not know where I came from? To not know what sort of blood was running in my veins? To not know where I inherited my brains from?" 

Holly shuddered and looked up. Patrick couldn't possibly have found out who his father was? Could he? 

"Patrick…?" she whispered, hoping his next sentence would be 'but I haven't managed to find it out'. 

No such luck. 

"I made a research, Mother. I found the womb-simulator tank among Foaly's discarded gadgets. Remember when you cut your finger with the bread-knife last month? A droplet of blood remained on the blade. I used it for a DNA test and it proved you were my mother, not a distant relative. Then I looked around in the restricted section of the LEP archives – poor Foaly has no idea I managed to hack into them... I found some links to Interpol files on a certain Artemis Fowl…" 

Holly groaned. 

"26-year-old Irish genius, onetime criminal mastermind, nowadays a rather peaceful businessman with three Nobel science prizes. Memory-wiped; according to Foaly's archives. Have I forgotten something?" 

Holly closed her eyes and buried her face into her palms. "No. You haven't." 

"Right. I thought so," Patrick said matter-of-factly. "What is he like?" 

"Who?" 

"Artemis Fowl. My father." 

Holly groped around to find the switch of the reading lamp. Patrick switched off his 'interrogator' torch, his deep blue eyes fixed upon his mother. She was surprised to see the curiosity in his eyes – his expression was beyond curious, it looked almost hungry… hungry for information. 

"He… Well, he's… I don't know, Patrick. How could I know what he's like now? The last time I saw him, he was merely thirteen and a nasty little bugger, but… he had a heart. Not a big one, but it was there and sometimes you could almost hear it throbbing… _Almost_." A small smile, along with a reminiscing expression appeared on her face. "Artemis was a very special person. Sometimes, I despised him. Sometimes, adored him. But most of the time I just felt like kicking his butt. He would have deserved it." 

After half a minute of silence, Patrick spoke up: "But why did you decide to create me? Why did you choose a Mud Man to be my father? I was some sort of a breeding project, wasn't I?" 

"I dislike calling you a project, Patrick. But yes, there were times before your… conception, when you were referred to as 'the project'." An embarrassed grimace appeared on Holly's face. "Why you were created in the first place? Because… we needed someone with intelligence matching Foaly's in case he got disabled… We have experienced twice what it means having to fare without him, and… it's damn hard. Almost impossible. When there was trouble and Foaly wasn't around, no one proved intelligent enough to cope with his technical system… with the exception of Opal Koboi, but she's taking a vacation at Howler's Peak. So…" 

"…so you bred me making sure I'd be intelligent enough to substitute for Foaly, if needed," the boy finished the sentence.   
His mother nodded. 

"But," Patrick continued, "if you needed Foaly's intelligence, then why didn't you breed a little centaur with Foaly's genes?" 

"Because we had to keep our plans a secret," said Holly. "You know that there are barely a hundred centaurs left and the only one in Haven happens to be Foaly. How on Earth could we have found a female centaur to bear his child without drawing attention to the plan?" 

"Oh… good point." Patrick nodded. "Elfin eggs aren't compatible with centaur sperm. Funny that they _are_ compatible with Mud Man semen… Speaking of which, this Fowl, he doesn't know about my existence, does he?" 

"No." Holly shook her head. "And I hope you're aware that he mustn't find out." 

The boy nodded. "At least not yet." 

His mother raised an eyebrow. 

"You know the project I'm working on… perhaps I could manipulate it to work on half-fairies as well, not only pureblood fairies. If I could disguise myself as a Mud Man with its help, then perhaps I could…" 

"No!" Holly held out a hand. "Don't even think of it, Patrick! Artemis is cleverer than the average Mud Men, he'd find out you're not one of his kind and he'd remember the fairies again and… we can't memory-wipe him again. You know it would cause too much damage to his brain."   
Patrick looked amused. "Am I imagining things, or are you worried about him?" 

"No, I'm not!" She replied hastily. "Patrick, don't laugh!" 

"Sorry," the boy chuckled. "It's just… hilarious." 

"What is hilarious?" Holly folded her arms with as serious an expression as she could muster. 

"That you actually _like_ him!" 

"Stop being childish and let's get back to the others, they are surely worrying about you." Holly hopped up from the armchair and marched to the door, where she suddenly stopped and doubled over. She bit into her lower lip, as though she were unsure about something she was about to say. "Patrick, what… what are you going to do now, that you know the truth?" 

The boy shrugged. "Nothing, I suppose. Don't worry, Mum, I don't intend to escape from home and go looking for my father. And now I'll be a good boy and sit through this boring party. But in exchange you have to promise me something." 

"What?" his mother asked, although she thought she already knew the answer. 

"Promise me to be sincere with me in the future. That's all I want." 

A smile appeared on Holly's face. "Of course, dear, you have my word." With that she exited her son's room. In a slightly better mood, Patrick followed her.   


* * *

"And now, my latest invention after the holo-candles!" Foaly announced with a toothy grin. "This is my way of wishing our young friend a very happy birthday!" 

With that, the centaur switched off the lights and launched a holographic firework. Spectacular, vivid flowers of light bloomed on the ceiling, accompanied with a slightly muffled sound of fireworks; some of them resembled golden chrysanthemums, others looked like silver dandelions, again others sparkled in all colours of the rainbow. Root, the Kelp brothers and Chix applauded and Foaly enjoyed every clap - the signs of admiration towards him. 

When, after ten minutes, the last fireflower (a red poppy) vanished from the ceiling, Foaly turned on the lights again and gave everyone an 'I'm-extremely-proud-of-myself' grin. The Kelps gave him the thumbs up, Chix was still clapping, Holly was gazing at him with appreciation, as for Patrick… 

"Patrick?" called Foaly. 

Holly spun around, her eyes scanning the room for her son, who was nowhere to be seen. "Patrick?" She burst into his room, only to find it completely empty. He couldn't have left just like that, could he? He had promised to stay, after all… One could find several flaws in Patrick Short's personality, but he most definitely wasn't a liar. Just the opposite – he was a very outspoken boy; he told the truth even when he knew it would hurt someone. He had meant it when he'd promised to stay, Holly was sure of it. But if he'd intended to stay, then he couldn't have left out of his own free will… 

"He's not in the kitchen, nor in the bathroom," said Root with a worried expression. 

"I can't believe he disliked my fireworks this much!" groaned the centaur. 

"Don't be such an idiot," spat Root, "he didn't leave because he was bored by your stupid fireworks!" 

"Then?" Foaly frowned; then suddenly hit his forehead. "D'Arvit. I switched off the security along with the lights." 

"You did WHAT?" exclaimed Holly, running towards the front door. 

"It was necessary…" The centaur shuffled his feet embarrassedly. "The fireworks would have damaged the security system, had I not switched it off…" 

"Did anyone know this deficiency of your precious fireworks?" demanded Root. 

"Well, I might have mentioned it to a couple of the tecchies… But they still thought the invention was brilliant…" 

_Slap._

The centaur stumbled backwards, massaging his cheek. "Why did I get that?" 

"Because…" Holly shouted, tears brimming her eyes, "thanks to your damn exhibitionism, someone seems to have walked in here during the firework and kidnapped my son! I found this lying on the doorstep." With that she held up Patrick's copy of The Book.

* * *

**A/N:** as you know, fairies never part with their copy of The Book, so Patrick didn't leave it there out of his own free will. Just wanted to make this clear, because some of my proof readers thought that he had gone off to visit his father. He had not. He is indeed an honest boy (that's something he hadn't inherited from Daddy Arty). 

Review, please!_ Agi's making huuuge puppy-eyes at the reader_   
  



	4. Master and Commander

**Author's note: **thank you all for the lovely reviews! :)) 

_El Shabang_: Patrick has inherited personality characteristics from both Arty and Holly. He's clever, self-confident and cold like Artemis, but righteous and brave like Holly. Yes, Opal will have a major role in the fic because I like her. Heh, I always like the nasty but not completely evil characters, just like Rita Skeeter in Harry Potter... Opal is a lot like Rita. Your comment that every chapter is a work of art is the greatest compliment I could get. Thanks! 

_Indigo Ziona:_ Arty will have a problem with being proud of his son... well, you'll see. 

_C-chan1_: Ron/Draco is completely stupid. Harry/Draco is something I don't like but it's still more sensible than Ron/Draco. About your future fanfic archieve: please do include Gilderoy Lockhart! :D 

_BrownPryde_: sorry, but he _is_ in mortal danger... more on it in chapter nine. 

_cocoaducks_: Patrick won't need to play matchmaker. You'll see why. 

_BeatlesLover4_: yup, I took that line from Hitchhiker's guide, I like it too :) Douglas Adams rulez. I'm currently reading another book by him, "Dirk Gently's holistic detective agency" - it's cool too. Have you read it? 

_Marfbag_: yes, Holly indeed jumped a bit too quick to conclusions, but her fears will be proven right. Unfortunately. 

_TinkerBell394587_: glad you think I managed to keep the characters in character. I'm not sure I will manage to do it throughout the whole story, but I will at least try. 

_roastpuff_: have you read any of my other fics? 

_septempopuli:_ the lichecakemaker.exe is one of my fav things in chapter 3 too, glad you liked it :) 

_LittleGreenPerson_: of course it would ;) You're just as clever as Ildi my proofreader. 

_A Writer on AF_: as far as I know, the book that comes out in October isn't the official fourth book, but an aside, having the story of how Holly became a LEP fairy, interviews with major characters and a reprint of the Seventh dwarf. The official fourth book, The Opal incident comes out next May. 

_Elfy19_: I'm updating once a week, as always. The kidnap has nothing to do with Patrick's parentage. I think the fairies kept checking on Arty for a couple of months after the mind wipe, but since Arty didn't find out about the lenses, they stopped checking. Well, with the exception of Root. As he says in this chapter, he kept an eye on Arty's career. No idea what Grub's mind made up about him being captain. It isn't important so will not be mentioned. 

_Nonoka_: you little pervert, wanting to hear more about Arty's dream! Tsk, tsk, tsk... Rest assured that it was a veeery naughty dream ;) If you couldn't imagine a good AF fic, then go and read Nyghtvision's Idiot savant, that's a real piece of gem. 

_Epsilon2Delta_: well, Arty is more or less an 'honest' businessman, but he still isn't a really nice person. 

_the coffee fiend_: yup, the Hitchhiker's refernce was intended. I luv that book. And yes, you have quite a peculiar name, so it's hard to forget :) 

_leonsalanna_: Patrick IS still ticked off, but he holds back. Geniuses usually don't start screaming and punching people when they're mad. They are civilised people ;) 

_blue-flames_: Holly was a bit guilty all the way through, but repressed her guilt. Yeah, Patrick is probably slightly smarter than his dad. And his dad won't be happy about it... 

Also thanks to: _GoldenVampyreGoddess, leafs-gurl999, Miss Katie Bell, StarLightKagome, DreamWeaverKaisa, Miss Piratess, Neutrino, TrunkZy, thisal625, VampirePeaches, sophianwin, LadyLupinLover, Crescent Fresh, the Cherri Ookami, WackedOutPet13_

* * *

**Chapter 4**

**Master and Commander**   
  
"I'm sorry, Commander, but young Short disappeared without trace," announced Trouble sullenly. Normally he just called Holly 'Holly', but sometimes, when he was in the mood for being official, he called her Commander. For that was her rightful title. She had been promoted right after Root's retirement. When the freshly retired Root had been asked whom he thought was most suitable for filling his vacant position, the first name he mentioned was that of Captain Short. 

"Have you checked all the surrounding streets? Have you looked for fingerprints?" The commander demanded. 

"We've done all the routine things." 

"Then do more than just the routines!" snapped Holly. 

"Yes, sir!" Trouble saluted and left the office. Under normal circumstances Holly would have been amused by being called 'sir', but for the time being she was too nervous to feel amused by anything. 

Hours passed, and her officers arrived back at Police Plaza with no news on Patrick's whereabouts. Though practically shaking with nerves, all Holly could do was thank them for their efforts and hope that the next day's search would be more successful.

* * *

Resting her chin in her palms, she was gazing at a half-filled report in front of her, lost in thought. Surely Patrick wouldn't just run away from his birthday party… He can't have left to pay his father a visit after he'd promised he wouldn't. Besides, the LEP had checked all the chutes that led to Ireland and none of them had been used for days. 

The more she kept thinking, the more convinced she became that Patrick had been kidnapped from under their noses. How ironic – kidnapping a LEP commander's son from a room full of LEP officers! 

Holly made a grimace. She hated irony. 

There was a knock on the door. She looked up to see Root standing in the doorframe. 

"May I come in, Commander?" The elder fairy asked in a benign voice. 

"Certainly." Holly beckoned to her onetime superior. 

With a groan Root took a place in the chair facing Holly's. "No news, I presume?" 

"None," she sighed. "And I just don't get it, Julius. Why would someone, _anyone_ want to kidnap my son? And why not ask for a ransom at once? Then we'd at least know what we are facing…" 

"I don't think this is about ransoms, Holly," replied Root. "Do you mind?" He pulled a fungus cigar out of his pocket. 

"No." She shook her head. "I already got used to it. But… if it's not about ransoms, then what?" 

Emitting circular puffs of smoke, Root leant back into the chair, closing his eyes, seemingly deep in thought. "I think it all comes down to his intellect." 

"You mean someone kidnapped him because he's clever?" 

Seeing her incredulous expression he replied: "You are young, Holly, but as you'll grow older, you will realise that no weapons or money can be as dangerous or invaluable as knowledge." 

The commander knitted her eyebrows. "_The project_… how many people know about the project?" 

"Quite a few, I fear," answered Root. "The whole Council, for example. Foaly. Some of our officers." 

"Too many people," sighed Holly. 

"And don't forget to multiply these _too many people _by fifty. Then multiply that by fifty, etc., etc." 

"Multiply it by fifty?" 

"Exactly. As far as I remember from my studies – which is quite remarkable, because those were eons ago - on average, every person has fifty regular contacts. Some might have only three, others might have two hundred, but on average, it's fifty. If everyone in the Council told their contacts and the contacts told their contacts, then…" 

Holly held up a hand. "Enough. I see it now. It could be thousands of people who know about the project." 

"Well, yeah." The ex-commander nodded. 

"The Council should have been wise enough to keep the project a secret," grunted Holly. "If that substance gets into the wrong hands…" She looked up to meet Root's eyes. "Do you think that's the reason? Someone wants that human-maker substance?" 

"We cannot rule out the possibility." 

"But… when Patrick is finished with it, it will be available for every fairy! Why would someone need it so… urgently?" 

Root shook his head. "I don't know… but I fear it must involve something illegal. The kidnapper must have wanted to access the serum well before anyone else could… Perhaps to use it when he can be sure he's the only human-looking fairy around.   
Perhaps they want to do business with humans and make sure that no human-disguised LEP officers can arrest them in the middle of an illegal business transaction." 

"Yeah, that's possible," breathed Holly. "How far has Patrick got in the project?" 

"According to Foaly, quite far." 

"Still, they can't _force_ my son to make that draught for them… can they?" 

"I'm afraid vile people always have their means…" 

Holly's heart clenched with worry. "What can we do, then? There are no clues, no fingerprints, nothing whatsoever to start the search with! They could have taken Patrick anywhere, and we're not likely to find him until it's too late! Oh, what have we done, Julius?" She hid her face into her palms. "We created him to make life for the People safer, and now it might be _him_ who brings destruction upon our world!" 

"Don't be such a pessimist, Commander." Root reached out to pat her arm gently. "He might have been kidnapped for a more trivial reason than the project, or even if he _was_ kidnapped because of the project, it's still not sure that the kidnapper will be able to use the draught for his evil ends, whatever they might be… But, as long as we aren't sure, we have to count the possibility that someone is indeed trying to use the substance for questionable reasons, thus we have to find a way to neutralise its effect…" 

"Neutralise it? How?" Holly sighed dejectedly. "The only person capable of making an anti-dote is Patrick himself. Foaly isn't exactly a biochemist…" 

"There are professors at the Underground University who can surely cope with the task…" mused Root. "Or, perhaps not… I remember Patrick mentioning that the Council gave him the task instead of a biochemistry professor because he outdid his professors in all respects… he even voiced his opinion that those dupes he had had for professors – don't look at me like that Holly, I'm just quoting your son - so, those dupes wouldn't be able to understand the substance because it was too difficult for their simple little minds…" A shadow of a smile appeared on Root's face. "Your son has quite a peculiar style, you know…" 

"I know." Holly grinned, but only for a second. "If Patrick thinks that no one else would understand the draught, then there's no one who could make an antidote." 

"No one of the People, you mean." Root put out his cigar in an ashtray that Holly kept on her table just in case her old friend visited her. 

"I don't get it." Holly frowned. "If not one of the People, then who…?" Her eyes widened as it dawned on her. "No. You surely don't mean who I think you mean… do you?" 

"He has the brains for it, Holly. You might not have kept an eye on his career like I did, but he got three Nobel science prizes, one of them for a biochemistry project. He invented something that slows down the aging of Mud Man cells, as far as I know…" 

"But that would mean exposing our world again, Julius! And to_ him _of all people! You know we can't memory-wipe him again!" Holly protested. "And it's… it's… against the law! We aren't allowed to contact Mud Men and reveal anything about the People to them!" 

"You have changed," sighed Root. "The Holly Short I remember was always willing to bend some rules… and she was brave." 

"Are you implying…" Holly jumped up from her seat, "…that I've become a bloody coward?" 

"Did I say anything like that?" Root asked with an innocent expression. 

"You implied it." 

Root took a deep breath. "Listen here, Holly. You're a courageous girl, you always have been, you never thought twice of risking your life for others. But this time it's about something personal. It's about telling Artemis Fowl that you have a child by him. And you're afraid to tell him." 

"Since when have you been able to see into my soul?" Holly asked with a sad smile. 

"I don't see into anyone's soul, I just know you too well. You're almost like a daughter to me. And Patrick is like the grandson I never had. I want to save him just as much as you do. And perhaps Fowl can help with that too. He can think with the head of a kidnapper, after all… he has some experience in this kidnapping-business. He could help us find Patrick and develop an anti-dote in the meantime." 

"What about the exposure of our world?" Holly whispered, still in doubt. 

"Even Fowl may have changed a bit since our last encounter… who knows, he might not want to harm the fairies at all." Root shrugged. 

"You've become really disrespectful of the rules, civilian." Commander Short shot the older fairy a half-reproachful, half-amused look. "What will we tell the Council? I doubt they'd be too happy if we brought Mud Men here again. Especially that Mud Man." 

"The Council won't have a say in this. If they try to stop us, we'll just remind them that it's all because of_ their _project. We'll shut them up. But best if we don't even tell them." 

"I wish I had half the optimism you do, Julius…" muttered Holly. "Right, then. It's time for me to visit a certain Mud Boy." 

"Actually, that boy is a man now," Root reminded her. She ignored the remark, not suspecting that soon she'd be surprised how right Root had been.

* * *

The doorbell buzzed and Juliet dropped the potato she was peeling to go and answer it. Humming a little song she'd written about her new idol Joe the Bonecracker, she opened the door. The song stuck in her throat. 

On the Welcome doormat there was a fairy. 

No doubt. A fairy. A small creature with dark skin, pointed ears and wings. Even though they looked mechanical, they _were _wings. 

"Hello, Juliet," the fairy greeted her. 

It took the young woman quite a bit of time to react, as she was rooted to the spot, unable to move any body part, especially her mouth. Her eyes, however, had widened to the size of saucers. She _knew_ this fairy. Her name was… what was her name again? 

"Holly Short." The fairy extended her right. "You remember me, don't you, Juliet?" 

The girl produced some sort of a voice, but even if she'd tried to say something coherent, she hadn't managed to. 

"Well, then, may I come in?" 

Juliet mutely motioned the visitor to enter. The fairy would have entered even if she hadn't allowed her to, since once Master Artemis had 'invited' her to Fowl Manor and that invitation was still valid because Artemis hadn't withdrawn it. Juliet shuddered as the torrent of wiped memories assaulted her. Fragment after fragment popped into her mind as the fairy leisurely walked into the hall. 

"Well then, please announce my arrival to your master. The _younger_ master," demanded the fairy. 

"Er… right," mumbled Juliet and somewhat insecurely she headed upstairs.

* * *

Artemis Fowl, 26, esteemed businessman and bearer of three Nobel science prizes, looked up from _The Wall Street Journal _to see that Juliet had entered. The first thing he found curious about it was that Juliet hadn't knocked. The second thing that seemed to be out of the ordinary was that Juliet was practically shaking – something not characteristic of her at all. 

"Are you all right, Juliet?" he asked her, putting the newspaper down. 

She nodded numbly. 

"I don't think so, you look frightened as though you've just seen a ghost," Artemis remarked with a hint of concern in his voice. Butler's sister, his personal bodyguard for almost ten years now, had never been the type to get frightened by anything. She had always been the bravest female Artemis had known; except for… except for someone he couldn't quite remember. Sometimes he had this weird feeling that certain parts of his memories were missing, but try as he might, he couldn't retrieve them. There were several occasions when he realised that he didn't know how things had turned out as they did – for example he had no recollection how Butler had become a frail man with heavy breathing, incapable of working as a bodyguard. He was also very surprised when he accidentally found a huge sum of money in a Swiss account and he didn't remember when or how he had transferred it. His mind had provided him with alternative memories, yet somehow they all felt wrong. They all felt unbelievable. 

Being a genius, Artemis found these things highly disconcerting, believing them to be the sign of brain damage, but as the years passed and he kept inventing brilliant new gadgets and took a successful venture into biology and chemistry, he realised that his brain was still working perfectly, thank you very much. Missing memories or not, he was still a genius, and even though there were things he couldn't explain, he decided it would be the best tactic to suppress them before they drove him crazy. For Artemis Fowl couldn't afford to go mad. The world needed a brilliant mind like his! And _he_ needed a brilliant mind like his too. 

"N… no ghost, Artemis," stammered Juliet. "It's a… fairy." 

"Fairy?" The young man raised an eyebrow. "Have you been drinking, Juliet?" 

She shook her head. "It's… really… a fairy, Artemis. By the name of Holly. Holly Short." 

Artemis blinked. Something, in the deepest recesses of his mind stirred. _Holly. Holly Short._ He knew that name. 

He knew that fairy. 

_A fairy…_

…hazel eyes, skin like caramel, auburn hair, cherubic lips… and an attitude of hitting him so hard across the face that he fell on his backside wondering whether he was a boy or girl. 

"Holly…" he whispered, his eyes distant, as though trying to see beyond the wall of his workroom. Images flashed through his mind – a tiny girl searching for an acorn in a river-bend; the same tiny girl trying to take her cell apart, banging the bed on the concrete floor; a male fairy smoking a fungus cigar; a centaur using a retimager on him; himself crawling through a pipe filled with orange gel; himself giving a dwarf a disk disguised as a fairy coin… "Mulch… he never turned up…" 

"Excuse me?" Juliet frowned. 

Artemis shook his head. "Nothing… nothing, just… send her in." 

The young woman didn't move. 

"What are you waiting for?" 

Juliet snapped out of her trance and with shaky steps, left the room. 

Artemis's mind reeled. She was here. One of _them._ And he remembered her. He remembered all of them. And yet he didn't understand. What was she doing here? Wasn't she supposed to give him a wide berth and make sure he'd never ever remember them? Though she had seemed slightly unwilling to wipe his memories all those years ago, finally she agreed with Root that it had to be done. So, why now? Why was she here? 

Deep in thought Artemis slipped lower and lower in his seat, but as he heard the door creak, he sat bolt upright, straightening his back as much as he could. The more gentleman-like he looked, the better. He couldn't afford to look weak and confused in front of Short!

* * *

Holly entered the room with her heart throbbing in her throat. She wasn't the type who easily got nervous, but this time she couldn't help it. For all she knew, she could have been walking into the lion's den. Not that she couldn't defend herself if needed, but… it was Artemis Fowl she was dealing with, and even with his alleged decent life and legal enterprises, Fowl was still a threat. 

For a second it occurred to her that perhaps she'd made the wrong choice in coming here, but then Patrick's face flashed into her mind, giving her heart. Anything for her son! Anything for Haven! 

"Captain Short, if I'm not mistaken…" came an icy voice from the other end of the room. 

"You are mistaken, it's Commander Short now," she replied as she walked closer. With each step she took towards Artemis, the wider her eyes became. This… this couldn't be the same Mud Boy who had kidnapped her all those years ago? Could he?   
Without even standing up, Artemis looked tall. He must have been at least… 180 centimetres, Holly thought as she kept walking in his direction. He'd become tall and… stronger. No doubt, there were muscles under the fine material of his dark blue suit. The colour of his suit brought out the blue of his eyes, she perceived. Even though he was eyeing her as impassively as possible, his fingertips put together; she felt as though an invisible hand had clenched her stomach. The only word she could have used for describing him was _attractive_. And she felt like kicking herself for it. 

She pulled herself together and stopped in front of his table, trying to look superior. The problem was that Artemis managed to look superior without even trying. 

"You have grown," she blurted out, then immediately felt like banging her head into something hard. The solemn entry she had planned was ruined._ D'Arvit, d'Arvit, d'Arvit!_

"Good day to you too, Captain," said Artemis in a slightly sarcastic voice. "Er, excuse me, Commander. Have a seat." When Holly took a seat in the huge armchair facing his, he continued. "Back to your remark, twelve years have passed. In case you're interested, I reached my full body-height at the age of eighteen and I managed to gain five kilos of pure muscle after I bought a home gymnasium… you know, those funny things they show on TV." 

When Holly didn't reply, he carried on in a chit-chatty tone, "I never thought I'd see you again, Commander." 

"I thought you had no recollection of the People, Fowl." She crossed her arms. 

"That's exactly why I never thought I'd see you again." He grinned. "But I take it you want something from me, otherwise you wouldn't have come. And if this is a business discussion, then I can at least expect you to call me Mister Fowl, Commander." 

Holly looked like someone who had bit into a particularly sour lemon. "Right, Master Fowl. Er… Mister Fowl," she corrected herself. "I need your help." 

"I wonder why, though… you wiped my memories, got rid of me, and now you happen to need me?" Artemis leant back into his chair, his legs crossed. He couldn't have looked more superior yet more arrogant. 

"If my memory serves me well, you consented to have your memories wiped if the People helped you against that Spiro person," Holly pointed out. 

"True. You helped me and I made a sacrifice. We were quits. Now, however, you're here to ask something. And let me assure you in advance that whatever it is, I won't help for free." Seeing the scowl on her face, he shrugged. "I'm a businessman, Commander. My life is business. Have you heard the saying of Milton Friedman, _business is the business of business_? That's as good as the number two Fowl family motto now." 

"At least listen to what I've got to say, then you can… make your conditions." 

Artemis nodded. "Right. But first, I'm hungry. And I can't discuss business on an empty stomach." He pushed a button on a small control panel set into his worktable. "Juliet, come in, please." 

The burly girl entered a minute later, in a considerably less shaky style. "Yes, Artemis?" 

"Breakfast. Toast with marmalade." In the past few years Artemis had developed a liking for sweets, no matter how much he had detested them as a child. "And for you, Commander?" 

Holly had to admit that she was indeed starving. She looked at Juliet, contemplating what to ask for. As their eyes met, Juliet hastily said: "Dolphin is out of stock!" 

"The same as for Master… Mister Fowl, then," replied Holly. She was really mad at herself. Why was she calling him Master Fowl? He was twenty-six, for heaven's sake! Yet she had to admit that it was quite hard for her to get used to the thought of a grown Artemis. 

With a slightly reproachful look, Juliet left. 

"She doesn't like me," the commander remarked. 

"Wonder why." Artemis looked amused. "You made her think she was watching some wrestling show, you made a total fool of her, and you even wiped her memories." 

She rolled her eyes, thinking that the last thing she needed now was Artemis filling her heart with self-accusation. If it wasn't bad enough already, Juliet's behaviour made her feel even worse. All those years ago they had been friends for a short while…   
If the Butler girl's memories hadn't been wiped, Holly would have sent her a disk with a gnome wrestling show on it, but she suspected that Juliet would have none of it now. And she couldn't even blame her. 

"How long will you keep bringing that up?" She sighed and looked at Artemis. 

"Until you develop some kind of… pangs of remorse," he replied coldly. 

"You wish," she hissed. 

He again gave her an amused look, which made her feel more and more uncomfortable. How on Earth did this Mud Boy – correction, Mud _Man_ -, always manage to look this self-confident? And how on Earth did he manage to create this sinking sensation in her stomach? For a minute she felt worried about the safety of her thoughts, for the Mud Man's gaze was penetrating… She scolded herself. Fowl couldn't see into her soul, no Mud Man was capable of that! 

Juliet returning with two plates of marmalade-toast shook her out of her reverie. 

"Thank you." She smiled at the blonde woman who seemed to ignore her friendly gesture and walked out without a second glance at her. 

"Well then, Commander Short," said Artemis, munching his toast, "I'm all ears… although I highly doubt I'd be interested in whatever you've got to say. The only thing that would be of any interest to me is a huge pile of fairy gold… but I suspect that it's not what you want to talk to me about." 

"Right, it's not about gold. But I _bet_ it will interest you." 

"Fire away, then," replied Artemis, licking a bit of marmalade from the left corner of his mouth. Holly shuddered. She had never thought that she'd ever find such a gesture sexy… She pinched herself. It hurt. Well, at least she managed to keep her head. 

She took a deep breath. _Here we go_… "Artemis… it's about our son."

* * *

**A/N**: evil cliffie, huh? ;) Arty's reaction in the next chapter.   



	5. Psychological warfare

**Author's note:** more Arty/Holly madness coming. Enjoy! 

_apple pie:_ you should have seen my face when I saw your reviews! I was soooo happy to see you again! You've always been my MOST FAITHFUL reviewer, and after I finished Fates, I thought I'd lost you for ever because I thought you haven't read the Fowl books. It seems I was wrong! :) You said Artemis didn't change. Well, he _will._ Yeeeees, he will -evil grin- 

_septempopuli:_ yup, Juliet will get the gnome wrestling video, in the final chapter :) 

_Indigo Zion_a: don't worry, Juliet and Holly will be friends again. As for Arty and being mad - certainly he's mad, but he's more 'civilised' than to show it. 

_Holly Rox_: I'm glad you think long updates are good, because there will be three-four chapters that are three times as long as this one. 

_a: _sick, am I? I don't think so. If you had read the author's note at the beginning of chapter one, you'd know that there will be no sex in the story. 

so_phianwin_: in the AF books Holly was a Captain, but I made her Commander. I only mentioned that she's a Commander in chapter four, so you didn't miss anything. 

_Elfy19_: no, Butler hasn't died and Juliet will be friends with Holly again. 

_EvilSpirit_: I got the Friedman stuff from my company management textbook (mind you, a damn boring book!) 

_El Shabang:_ you'll see Butler, but only in two scenes. As for Root: you'll see loads of him. I liiiike Roooooot :D 

_C-chan1_: so, what's this C2 thing again? Unfortunately Arty's invention that slows down the aging of human cells can't help Butler, as Butler aged a lot BEFORE Arty invented that thingie. I too like the parts when Arty's brains fail him. And you'll see quite a few such scenes in this fic :)) 

_DarkFlower2113_: no, I haven't seen Master and Commander, but I know it was nominated for Oscars last year (did it even win some? I don't remember...) The 'dolphin is out of stock' was a joke. You know, in the first AF book when Juliet asks Holly what she'd like to eat, Holly asks for dolphin (she doesn't mean it, of course...) 

_cocoaducks_: nope, I can't imagine Arty having a girlfriend or a fiancee. No female on earth would be able to endure and handle his arrogance. With the exception of Holly, of course. 

_coffee fiend_: I haven't read any fics in which Arty is grown and Holly falls for him. In most A/H fics Arty is 15-16 years old when he meets Holly again and they fall for each other. Can you mention some fics with Holly falling for _grown _Arty (besides this one, obviously;)? 

_blue flames:_ Holly will definitely get her spunk back :) I don't intend to draw new AF stuff nowadays (I don't have the time to draw _anything_), but if you'd like to know how I imagine the older Arty, then look at my "Love me Mud Boy" pic (I think I sent it to you once)... you know, then one with human-sized Holly in Arty's arms where they are both... hem... not wearing anything ;) That's my older Arty. 

_LittleGreenPerson_: I've regarded Artemis as a 'slightly nicer Draco' from the beginning. But I like him much more than I ever liked Draco :D For example I never liked fics in which Draco is romancing someone (especially Ginny, hem-hem...), but I love fics in which Artemis hooks up with Holly, it's so much cuter than Draco/any female, don't you think? 

Also thanks to: _DarkLegacies, sugacrazie, StarLightKagome, Marfbag, BeatlesLover, leafs-gurl999, WrItErKaT322, the Cherri Ookami, TrunkZy, Miss Piratess, DarkPheonix, Meleogolasandi, thisal625, Iced Artemis_

* * *

**Chapter 5**

**Psychological warfare**   
  
Two things happened to Artemis that he had never expected to happen to him. First of all, he dropped the marmalade toast in surprise. The toast landed on his Armani suit, slipping down into his lap. Secondly, he was so shocked that he completely forgot about correcting the commander not to call him Artemis, even though he hadn't allowed anyone but his parents and the Butler siblings to call him Artemis for about ten years now. 

"W… what?" he blurted out, unaware that the toast had created a dark reddish streak down his front and very likely ruined his frightfully expensive suit for good. "I think I misunderstood you." 

"You did not." 

"Oh," breathed Artemis. "Very good joke, Commander. However, I believe your calendars in Haven must be faulty - it's only 31st March. April Fool's Day is tomorrow." 

Holly's heart sank. She had thought she had the worst part behind her. But clearly she didn't, for Fowl thought she was pulling his leg. She took a deep, calming breath. "I was_ not _joking." 

"Oh, yeah, of course…" Artemis grinned, grabbing his dropped toast and putting it back on the plate. He fished a tissue out of his pocket and tried to wipe the marmalade off his shirt and suit - without much success. With a slightly sulky face, he looked up. "I might as well throw this suit away, it will never be clean again." As his eyes met Holly's, he lowered his hand with the crumpled and marmalade-stained tissue. Her eyes looked pleadingly back at him. Artemis had a great knowledge of human nature (which wasn't very unlike fairy nature) and had always been good at reading expressions. Perhaps the only person who had managed to outwit him and hide his true intentions behind a poker face had been Jon Spiro. Everyone else proved to be an open book for Artemis. He wasn't exactly an empathic type, for he knew next to nothing about true emotions, but he knew quite a lot about psychology and interpreting expressions. Holly's eyes weren't lying. They radiated no stealth, no intention of deceiving him… she was telling _the truth._

"H… Holly?" He muttered. "What…? How…? Son? Ours? If this is not a joke, then…_ I don't get it._" 

There. He'd said it. Historic moment. 

Holly braced herself and spoke up. "We have a son, Artemis. By the name of Patrick. He's twelve years old and couldn't be more like you. He's…" 

"Wait a minute," Artemis cut in. "You're saying we have a son. However, in order to have a child by a man you need to have sexual intercourse with him. And we, as far as I remember, never had such a thing. Not even before my memory-wipe." 

"Of course we didn't," replied Holly. "It was done through artificial insemination." 

"Aha…" Artemis leant back into his seat, eyeing her in an amused way. "Let me remind you, Commander, that for artificial insemination you need semen." 

"We had that, thank you very much." 

Artemis' eyes widened with surprise. For the umpteenth time in less than ten minutes. A record. "How?" 

"Mulch." 

"Mulch what?" asked the young genius with an almost terrified expression. The words 'Mulch' and 'semen' just didn't fit and he had to force himself _not to think_, in order to avoid any horrific mental images. 

"It was Root's idea." 

Great. So Root was involved too. Now he had three words to fit into one sentence: 'Mulch', 'Root' and 'semen'. Still not a good combination. 

Holly carried on. "It all happened when Foaly got a nasty disease and couldn't manage the LEP communications. It turned out that no one could. And Root had this idea that there should be someone as clever as Foaly to substitute for him if needed, and we… sort of thought… of you." She looked up from her untouched marmalade toast to meet his eyes, and his dubious yet interested expression gave her heart to continue. "Certainly we knew we couldn't have you directly. You had been mind-wiped after all, and we didn't want you to remember us again…" 

Artemis almost interjected 'why have you come here now, then?', but held back. 

"…so we decided to create a child using your genes. I donated an egg and Foaly did the gene-manipulation to make sure Patrick would look like me but inherit your intellect." A small smile appeared on her face. "Well, not that his gene-manipulation was perfect… Patrick is taller than the average fairy and has your eyes. Not to mention your attitude. You couldn't even deny being the father-" 

"Perhaps." Artemis nodded as impassively as he could. "But you still haven't told me _how_ you got my semen without me knowing… and how Mulch is involved." He shuddered. _No mental images!_ he recited to himself. 

Holly let out a small chuckle, but as she caught his icy glance, she willed herself to regain her composure. "Actually… actually it was the funniest part of all." 

"I can imagine," he grunted. "Or rather not. I fear it would upset my equilibrium." 

She hid a grin. "Yes… perhaps it would. If you're not interested, then…" 

He held out a hand. "I _am_ interested. But keep to the facts so I can absorb the information without having to _imagine _it.   
What's up with Mulch?" 

"I'm sure he's fine, he has just escaped from prison, so I heard," said Holly, knowing very well that it wasn't what he wanted to know, but having Artemis Fowl on tenterhooks was a nice feeling. A satisfactory feeling. "He spent several years in a common jail, then he got transferred to Howler's Peak. He spent some weeks there too, but when Root found out Mulch had been sent to Howler's Peak, he pulled a few strings and Mulch got placed into another jail… you know, for some reason I believe Root has grown fond of Mulch… Anyway, in the new prison he wasn't that exposed to the threat of goblins tearing him apart, and he escaped…" The young man's eyes narrowed. _If looks could kill, I'd be dead_, Holly thought. "Rhiiiiight. To the point. Over twelve years ago Root sent Mulch to collect some semen from you." 

A look of disgust spread on Artemis's face. 

For a second Holly felt ashamed, for she was actually enjoying this. Embarrassing the great Artemis Fowl. If she hadn't been so worried about her son, she could have enjoyed the situation even more. 

"Don't get all squicked out, Mud Boy, he didn't _touch_ you there." 

"How good for me," he said cynically. "And it's _Mister_ Fowl, Commander." 

"Right, Mister Fowl. All Mulch did was put a Dream Inducer on you and then collect the 'material' using an ultra-sensitive brush." 

"Collect the material… how eloquent." He wrinkled his elegant nose. "Must have been horrible, so don't elaborate." 

"Oh, don't worry, Mulch had done enough disgusting things in his life – taking a peek at your lower regions can't have been much of a shock for him…" 

He grimaced again. It was something he didn't do on a regular basis; aware that grimaces distorted his aristocratic features.   
"You mentioned some Dream Inducer-" 

"Foaly's invention." She shrugged. "A tiny, self-destructing gadget that induces dreams about absolutely anything you load into it. In your case it was a-" 

"…porn movie," he finished her sentence. 

"Oh, you remember that?" 

"Unfortunately," he replied dryly. "And I thought it was just my imagination. I feared for my sanity, Commander. I was even giving thoughts to starting shock therapy on myself if such dreams occurred again. I'm relieved to know it wasn't my mind playing tricks on me. Tell Foaly that that thing's dangerous." 

"You can tell him in person soon." 

"In person?" Artemis arched a finely shaped black eyebrow at her. "You want me to go with you to Haven?" 

"Obviously I do. Otherwise, I wouldn't have come, now, would I?" 

"I'm surprised, to say the least. First you turn up and let me remember you and your world, then you tell me about this whole perverted project, and now you want me to accompany you to your world where everyone hates us _Mud Men_… Why?" 

"To save our world. And to save our son." 

"To save your world?" Artemis put his fingertips together. "Why should I? After you mind-wiped me, I turned back into the monster I had been before we met. I'm _still _that monster, Commander. And it's your doing. That of the People. You turned me back into that monster, and don't expect that a monster would want to help you, for he will not. He's evil." 

"I don't think he is," whispered Holly, barely loud enough for him to hear. "Now you remember all our adventures, and you know what we've been through together… you remember everything that changed you into a better person…" 

"I remember them, yes." He nodded. "However, remembering feelings and actually _feeling_ them are two wholly different things. I remember I used to feel some sort of a… what do you call it? _Friendship_?" His deep blue eyes were piercing, sending chills down Holly's spine. "I no longer feel that. So why should I help my _one-time _friends – for the memory of our friendship? Don't be ridiculous, Commander. Thanks to your memory-wipe, the humane Artemis is dead, and the current Artemis is all business. If you want my help, pay for it. Fairy gold will do. A nice pile of unmarked bars." 

Holly furrowed her brow. She didn't like this. She didn't like this at all. She should have known he wouldn't want to help for free… "Right." She said, straightening her back. "So you're not going to help. Apparently you won't mind if you become the murderer of your own son." 

"Now wait a minute!" he snapped. "How could I be anyone's murderer, if I don't even know them?" He took a deep breath to keep his cool head, and in a second he was back to his old, arrogantly nonchalant self. He crossed his legs again, giving the impression of the self-confident and unapproachable businessman. "Psychological warfare doesn't work on me. I know more about psychology than Freud and Jung put together! Listen here, Commander. I never wanted to have a child by a fairy. I'm not responsible for his creation, and I'm not responsible for his life. It's your responsibility. Yours alone." 

Staring at his icy-cold eyes and listening to his chilly voice pouring all those horrible things at her in his revoltingly impassive way, Holly started shaking. She was clutching the armrests of her chair so tightly that her knuckles turned white and her lips were trembling. She knew these symptoms. They meant she would burst into tears any second. 

No. She wouldn't give him the pleasure of seeing her cry. She was a LEP commander, after all! She had to be strong! She had to be cunning! 

She sniffed, blinking back a tear and stood up. "So be it, Fowl. If evilness is what makes you happy, then be happy with it. The People will try to save Patrick without you." 

Slightly surprised that she'd given up this easily, he nodded. "Good luck, Commander." 

Without a second glace at him, Holly turned on her heels and made her way to the door. 

_Yes, Artemis, this is good-bye, for the last time…_

Artemis shuddered. He was no longer seeing her receding figure; he was seeing the face of a sad elfin girl instead. This girl was trying to convince Root not to wipe his memories… There was something in her eyes – something he hadn't recognised all those years ago. Now that his mind replayed the scene, he clearly saw it. Despair. Anxiety. Love. These emotions mixed on her pretty features, and then… cut. The film ended. 

Chewing his lower lip, Artemis stared at the cover of _The Wall Street Journal,_ but instead of the headlines, he saw _her_. She'd loved him. As a friend. She had been his first ever friend if he didn't count Butler. 

Some invisible hand was trying to compress his gullet. It was a very unpleasant feeling. He could have counted on one hand the occasions he had felt it before. He shook himself, as though trying to shake off this feeling. He looked around, desperate to find something to engage his attention, to take his mind off her visit… That was when he noticed the tiny turquoise gadget lying in the chair Holly had sat in. 

He reached out for it.

* * *

_Howler's Peak, three months earlier_

Opal Koboi was staring at a stink worm slowly crawling across the cold stone floor of her cell. It had taken her ten years to get used to having these horrible creatures all around her and not start screaming and jumping on her cot. It had taken her the same length of time to get used to the thought of wearing dirty rags and not having the opportunity to take a shower more frequently than once a month. It had taken her a decade to get used to the thought that she couldn't order her jailers around and that she couldn't get books whenever she felt like getting some 'intellectual nourishment'. However, there was something she had never got used to: the visits of her brother. 

She hated him. She had never hated anyone as much as she hated him, and the worst of all was that she was afraid of him.   
It was 31st December, and her brother used to come to visit this day every year. His regular visits were on solstices and equinoxes, Opal's birthday and the last day of the year. 

He would come today… again. 

She shuddered, her tiny hands clenching into fists.   


She heard steps. Two pairs of feet. One must belong to the jailer, the other to _him._

She straightened her back, quickly ran her fingers through her dishevelled hair and held up her head like some royalty. That was how he found her. 

"Guess who's here?" 

Opal didn't even give him a glance just kept staring at the ceiling with as much dignity as she could muster. You had to give it to her – she managed to look superior even in clothes full of holes and her elegant nose covered with dirt-spots. 

"Don't you even greet your brother, sis?" 

Still not looking at him, Opal replied: "Hello, Quasimodo." 

There was a sharp intake of breath. A tiny, sarcastic smile appeared on her lips. She knew he hated to be called that. 

"It's Quartz. How many times do I have to tell you that?" 

"I can't help, bro…" She finally squinted at him. "It just suits you. You look ten times worse than Briar Cudgeon on his worst day." 

Her brother's eyes narrowed behind the steel mask concealing two-thirds of his face; and his knuckles cracked. He seemed itching to hit her. 

"Don't hold back, bro. If you hit me, they might keep you here at Howler's Peak too with the charge of hurting a poor prisoner…" Opal said in a drawling voice. "I will ask them not to put you in the same cell with me… I don't think I could stand   
to see your face all the time!" 

That was below the belt, and she knew it. 

Quartz had been born two years after Opal; and upon first seeing him, their parents had immediately spread the news that their newborn son had been stillborn, then they quickly got rid of him. Better that than having to raise such a… monster! They had paid a fairy-couple living at a magmaflower-farm at the back of beyond to raise the child and keep him as far from Haven as possible. 

Quartz had been verbally abused from a very young age. He grew up having to endure the occasional fairy visiting his foster parents' farm pointing at him and making rude comments at his distorted features. His real parents and sister only visited him once a year, paying the foster parents a year's amount of child-raising costs. There had only been a couple of farmer families living around, and seeing them play with their little fairies, Quartz knew that parents were supposed to treat their children differently than his parents – both foster and real ones – did. The worst had always been the last day of the year, when the Koboi couple used to come along to the magmaflower farm with little Opal. 

Opal had been the bane of his life. 

Even after all these years, one memory kept haunting him: the ten-year-old Opal wearing a frilly, peach-coloured dress, her blonde hair decorated with a velvet ribbon that had tiny opal gems sewn into it. She was eyeing him, leaning over the garden-fence. He was bent, holding a spadeful of dirt – doing his gardening work. He was sweating, smelly and dirty, while she was primped, fresh as a spring flower, her sky-blue eyes glinting at him through magically elongated eyelashes. "You know you look like Quasimodo, don't you?" she had said. Quartz had asked who this Quasimodo was, and his sister told him that it had been a horribly ugly, deformed character in some Mud Man book – a character so horrible-looking that he had been hidden inside a church so that people wouldn't be scared of him. 

The nickname stuck on him, and he hated Opal from that day on. He hated his whole family. He hated all the fairies who kept pointing at him and calling him names, treating him as though he were some particularly interesting animal in the zoo. While there were several Mud Men born as deformed as him, he was the only known fairy with such an appearance. 

As the years passed, the mistreated boy matured into a bitter adult whose only aim was to take revenge. His thirst for revenge spurred him on, gave him the persistence to become as rich and influential as possible; under the name of his deceased foster parents – Quench. Quartz Quench, millionaire. 

After the death of the Quenches, Quartz had inherited their farm, being their lawfully adopted and only heir. While digging a patch for magmaflowers, Quartz had one day felt his spade hit something hard. It turned out to be a flare-crystal, a very rare and invaluable sort of energy source. The ground beneath the Quench farm was full of such crystals, and those moronic Quenches had never discovered them. Contracts and excavations followed, and soon Quartz was one of the richest fairies under the face of earth. A millionaire hated by most of the People, yet a millionaire feared by most of the People. He had never got love from anyone, he had been ridiculed all his young life, but now he had influence. He had toadies, he had fairies serving him… and he hated all of them. He hated the whole fairy world. 

He couldn't help rejoicing when he'd found out that his parents had been taken into a lunatic asylum. They had well deserved it! He also couldn't have been happier when he'd learned that Opal had been closed into Howler's Peak. 

He decided to return every bit of sorrow the Kobois had given him. He started it by returning the annual visits, but decided that visiting his family-members once a year wasn't enough of a punishment. Unfortunately, his parents with their addled brains didn't understand much of his gloating remarks, but Opal was still sane, thus annoying her was the greatest pleasure of Quartz's life. 

It was annoyance-time again… at least Opal thought so. Therefore, what he told her the next instant took her completely by surprise. 

"I'm not here to hurt you. Not this time." 

She knitted her eyebrows, giving him a quizzical look. "What do you mean by that?" 

"I'm offering you a deal, Opal." 

"A deal?" She couldn't believe her pointy ears. 

Quartz nodded. "I need your help." 

"Do you?" Her mouth tucked into a mocking smirk. "And what if I'm not willing to help?" 

"Then I'm not going to help you leave this dirty hole and you are going to spend those 457 years left of your punishment rotting here." 

Her sky-blue eyes narrowed. "And if I help you?" 

"Let's say I have my connections. In the Council. In the LEP. Everywhere. You will be out of here in no time." 

"What do I have to do for it?" Opal asked dubiously. 

"I need a Mud Man connection. Someone who has armed people willing to risk their lives for a huge pile of gold." 

"There are loads of fairies with these qualities, so why do you need Mud Men?" 

"Because I want something that only a Mud Man can get me." 

She pursed her lips. "And what makes you think I _know_ Mud People who would be willing to help with any dirty business of yours?" 

"You don't need to know them personally. Howler's Peak is full of convicts." Quartz shrugged. "I bet there is at least one of them who had been messing with Mud Men already. Find one and question him." 

Opal looked contemplative for a while. "I think I know one… he was bragging yesterday at lunch about having served a Mud Woman for a while… he told something about metal men too, whatever they are…" 

"Then get close to him. Get him to tell you more about this Mud Woman. I want all the details, Opal." He leaned over her, his mismatched eyes staring deeply into hers. "I will be visiting you in a month on your birthday. Deliver me the story and you will be free sooner than you can say LEPrecon."

* * *

_Fowl Manor, present time_

The little turquoise gadget was round and resembled a case for face powder. Artemis, however, was sure that Holly wasn't the type to carry face powder with her. Opal Koboi probably would have (had she not been sitting at Howler's Peak), but definitely not feisty little Miss Short. 

Curiously he opened the case to see that where the mirror should have been inserted into the lid, there was a tiny screen instead; and where the pad with the powder should have been, there was a tiny, circular keyboard. A bit like a tamagochi, Artemis perceived. He had seen all sorts of fairy gadgets, but this one was completely new for him. 

He pressed a tiny green button in the middle of the circular keyboard and several icons appeared on the screen, arranged like the numerals on a clock. With miniscule gnommish symbols, each icon had a script under it. _Baby Patrick_ – said one on the top. _Patrick two years old _– said the one to the right. The last icon was labelled _video_. 

Artemis moved the tiny arrow with the help of the keys over the video icon and clicked on it. In the next instant a three-dimensional, holographic image appeared above the keyboard, projected from the screen. There was a toddler running towards the camera, squealing with delight. "_Come to Mummy, dear!_" said someone Artemis couldn't see, and the little boy with auburn hair and huge blue eyes tried to stand on his tiptoes, flailing his arms in an attempt to grab the camera. The next scene was of an about six-year-old sitting on the ground, drawing something on a huge sheet of paper. A familiar figure walked into the screen and crouched down next to him. _"What are you drawing, Patrick?_" he asked. Without even looking up, the boy answered: "_A blueprint for the future Haven Library, Uncle Julius."_

Artemis felt a smile spread on his face. Uncle Julius, indeed… 

The camera focused on the face of a ten-year-old child deeply immersed in typing something. The boy looked up with a bored expression. "_Put that away, Foaly, I'm busy. I have to finish this hypothesis analysis for school tomorrow or my statistics professor won't believe I'm loads smarter than him. I'd never live it down."_

Now Artemis was practically grinning. Holly had been right. The boy couldn't have been more like him… _His son_. Arrogant, stuck-up, irritating - but his son nevertheless. 

He felt something warm fill his chest and course through his whole body. It wasn't love, for he didn't even know this child let alone love him, but it was still more than he could have imagined himself feeling. Pride. Yes, that was it. He was proud of Patrick. 

The show ended and the screen went blank. _Replay?_ – asked the program, but Artemis pushed _N_, closed the gadget's cover, slipped it into his pocket and broke into a run, hoping beyond hope that he wasn't late. 

"Holly! HOLLY!" he shouted, storming down the stairs, towards the hall. His mind was racing – what if she'd left? What if he'd never have the chance to… to… to do what, exactly? He couldn't have phrased it himself, he just ran. He burst into the hall, out of breath. And there she was, conversing peacefully with Juliet. 

"Holly!" 

The fairy turned around. "No need to throw me out, Mud Boy, I'm leaving already. I just gave Juliet the recipe of dolphin flambé." 

"No…" Artemis panted, pressing his hands over his chest. He had been doing exercises on his home gym, but apparently he should have done them more intensively. "Don't… don't leave. I've changed my mind." 

"Have you?" The elfin girl crossed her arms. "I'm shocked, Mister Fowl. What is this sudden conversion?" 

Artemis pulled the tiny video player out of his pocket. "You… you left this in my workroom." 

"And you ran after me to return it to me? How sweet of you," said Holly sarcastically, snatching the 'powder box' from his hand. "I presume you have taken a peek, haven't you?" 

Artemis shrugged slightly embarrassedly. "What if I have?" 

A small yet triumphant smile appeared on Holly's face. "That means you don't know as much about psychology as you thought you did, Mister Fowl." 

Artemis gave her a questioning look. 

"You know," Holly continued with a satisfied smirk, "I didn't leave the holo-player there by mistake. I knew you'd open it, given that it's fairy technology; and you are too curious not to look into it. And of course I knew you'd be affected by it." 

Artemis made another grimace. "One-zero to Commander Short. So, what exactly should I help you with? What's wrong with Haven? And how is our son involved?" 

"Your _what?_" interjected Juliet. 

"Long story, I'll tell you on the journey." Artemis waved. 

"On the journey _to where_?" Juliet's eyes widened. 

"On the journey?" It was Holly's turn to gape. "She's not coming, is she?" 

"But of course she is, she's my bodyguard," replied young Fowl. 

The two women looked at each other, confused, then turned to Artemis, who gave them an expression as innocent as he could muster. "Do I get a chance to pack my things?" 

"I doubt you'd be needing them, and we don't have any time to waste," Holly replied matter-of-factly. 

Artemis nodded. "Let's go then, Commander. And fill me in, please." 

After a couple of seconds of being rooted to the spot, Juliet caught up with them. "So, _what son_?"   
  



	6. Accommodations

**A/N: **the next few chapters will be bridge chapters without much action, but they're needed for plot reasons. From chapter 11 there's going to be adventure and lots of fantasy at exotic places. Be patient until then, please! 

_C-chan1_: I can't see why people would want to put their fav fics together. But perhaps later I will see what these C2 thingies are good for. 

_BrownPyrde_: Quartz is a mentally wounded person, that's what's wrong with him. 

_BeatlesLover_: in chapters 7-10 you're going to find out how the Aztecs fit into the fic. I'm not saying anything in advance. 

_The OddBird:_ why wouldn't my mum let me write raunchy stuff? I'm of age, after all. 

_Swanny_: are you studying psychology or what? I studied it for a year at college, but I'm sure I don't know nearly as much as Freud and Jung (especially because I forgot most of the things;). 

_leafs-gurl999_: you'll find out soon what Patrick's kidnapping has to do with Haven. Holly, for the time being, only suspects that someone wants to use her son's special talents for their own evil ends (see the dialogue between Holly and Root in chapter 4), but soon she'll find out what the kidnapper really wants. 

_Holly Rox_: it all comes down to experience. I've been writing novel-length fics for three years now. 

_sophianwin:_ I can imagine that it's confusing for you now. It will be clearer later, I promise. 

_Miss Piratess_: Juliet will be one of the central characters, but the 'most central' characters are obviously Arty and Holly. 

Also thanks to: _Marfbag, cocoaducks, LittleGreenPerson, jjkk, TrunkZy, neutralgal, septempopuli, leonsalanna, Mistri, Tonks' Admirer, the Cherri Ookami, WackedOutPet13, Connie, StarLightKagome, animezebra, the coffee fiend___

* * *

**Chapter 6******

**Accommodations**   
  
On their way down to Haven, Holly filled Artemis and Juliet in on the details of the kidnapping and Patrick's assignment from the Council. Artemis couldn't help but blush when the LEP Commander gave Juliet a quick summary of the circumstances of her son's conception. _Women should be forbidden to giggle_, he thought when Juliet burst into a fit of giggles upon learning about the Dream Inducer. _And discrediting the Principal in front of his bodyguard should be forbidden too!_

Occasionally, when their shuttle met another one on the way to Police Plaza, Holly would wave at the other shuttles' drivers with a smile wide enough to stop them asking why she was talking to herself in her transport - for her passengers happened to be wrapped from head to toe in camouflage foil. Holly didn't want to take any risks and let the People of Haven find out that she, who should have been setting an example of avoiding contact with Mud Men, was driving two of them through the fairy city. 

"By the way, won't your parents feel worried when you suddenly disappear?" the Commander asked over her shoulder. 

"Not likely. First of all, I'm a twenty-six-year old man, not that child you used to know," replied Artemis with a sarcastic edge in his voice. "Secondly, father is away doing some business in Canada and mother accompanied him there. They aren't likely to return for at least two weeks, and if we're lucky, this whole business will be over in less than two weeks." 

"Yeah," Holly grunted. "_If_ we are lucky."   


* * *

Artemis had to fight down an urge to grin when he spotted the onetime Commander. Julius Root, sporting a greyish beard, giving Artemis the impression that he had just stepped out of a Tolkien book. His trademark mushroom cigar seemed to be lost in the sea of facial hair. 

After a few handshakes with Root and Foaly, Artemis and Juliet were led into the Operations Booth where the centaur first locked everyone in, then told the visitors about the project, in more detail than Holly had on the route. Juliet listened for a while, but after the tenth expression like 'acetaldehyde dehydrogenase' or 'UV-Vis spectroscopy', her eyelids started to droop. Holly couldn't blame her. On the rare occasion Patrick had tried to explain to her something about the project, she felt the same sort of drowsiness the Butler girl must have been feeling now. She glanced at Artemis, who, of course, seemed to be drinking in the information. Obviously, he was completely familiar with acetal-whatsis dehydro-thingies. But what else could you expect from a triple Nobel-prize winning biochemist? 

"…and that's all I can tell you about the project," Foaly finished half an hour later, when Juliet was practically snoring. Holly had had to keep pinching herself to stay awake and Root had smoked five cigars not to fall asleep. The only persons wide-awake were the centaur and young Fowl. 

"Is it over?" Juliet blinked and hoisted herself up into a proper sitting position. Had Madam Ko been here, she would have blasted Juliet's hard-won blue diamond tattoo off her shoulder – letting yourself fall asleep while the Principal might be in danger! But then again, she tried to calm her conscience, no one in Haven (besides, Holly, Foaly and Root) knew that they were here, so why would anyone try to attack Artemis? 

"Thank heaven, it is," grunted Root, putting out his cigar in a nearby ashtray. 

"I'm truly sorry I couldn't give you a more detailed report on the project," the centaur told young Fowl, "but biochemistry isn't my main area of competence." 

"Imagine how long the lecture would have been, had biochemistry belonged to Foaly's main competence-areas," muttered Holly under her breath. 

"I heard that!" said the centaur with a slightly reproachful look, then turned to Artemis again. "You are going to get all the equipment you need for making the antidote and I'm going to send you Patrick's notes to… really, where is Artemis staying?" 

Artemis shrugged. "Couldn't I stay here, somewhere in the LEP Headquarters?" 

"Out of the question." Holly shook her head. "There isn't a single vacant room, and we can't risk that anyone catches a glimpse of you and lets it slip to someone we wouldn't want to know about your presence." 

"Well, most of Patrick's things are in his private lab, in Holly's flat…" Foaly began, "and currently there's no one occupying his room…" 

"What are you getting at?" Holly knitted her eyebrows – although she was well aware what the centaur was hinting at. 

"I wouldn't mind staying at your place." Artemis shrugged. 

"I bet you wouldn't." Holly rolled her eyes. "But what about Juliet? I can't put up both of you, there's not enough room for that." 

"I have a spare room the lady could occupy," Root offered. 

Juliet seemed contemplative. "As a bodyguard I'm not supposed to leave the Principal alone." 

"He won't be alone, Holly will be there to protect him." Foaly gave the Commander a toothy grin. "Also, the security on Holly's flat is completely operational again, so no one gets in who isn't invited in by Holly herself. I believe the boys are running the last scans right now, but you might find the flat empty by the time you get there." 

Seeing the disapproving stare on Juliet's face, Artemis held out a placating hand. "Everything's going to be fine, Juliet. No one knows I'm here, so I won't be attacked by anyone. And besides, Commander Short can handle that Neutrino well enough in case there's trouble…" 

Juliet gave Holly a questioning look. The LEP Commander had saved Artemis's arse on a few occasions, but playing the bodyguard for him was far beyond that, and she wasn't sure she liked the idea at all. _Patrick,_ Holly reminded herself. D_o it for Patrick._

"Don't worry, Juliet, he'll be fine. Not a hair of his head will be harmed," she replied somewhat reluctantly.

* * *

When they reached Holly's home, they found that Trouble and Grub were just about to leave. While the other Recon officers had stopped the search hours earlier, Trouble had insisted that he and Grub continue it after shift and look through Holly's flat once more. 

The brothers seemed rather contented about something. 

"Hi, Holly! Er… Commander," Trouble corrected himself. "Look what we found when we scanned your living room for the third time!" 

"A clue?" Holly's voice quivered with excitement. 

"Yep." Trouble pulled a little vial out of his breast pocket and shook it. Something tiny and blue clattered inside. 

"What's this?" 

Trouble pulled off the lid of the vial and fished the tiny object out with the help of pincers. 

Holly took the pincers and held the small blue thing up to her helmet, setting the visors to magnifying. "It looks like an eyeball-gem." 

"Because it _is_ an eyeball-gem," replied Trouble. 

Artemis, hidden by the camouflage foil, felt like interjecting that only complete idiots decided to wear eyeball-gems, but thought better of it. Perhaps he'd share his views on such unnatural and dangerous implants with Holly later. They'd have all evening just for each other, after all. 

He couldn't suppress a grin at the thought – Holly must be feeling thoroughly embarrassed about the whole situation… well, she deserved it, didn't she? Stealing semen from him and creating a child without his consent! 

"This is brilliant! This is a real clue, Trouble!" said the Commander enthusiastically. 

Since there had been unwanted side effects of implanting gems into fairies' eyeballs, the Council had enacted the bill on regulating the implantation. All implanters had been required to report every single implant they had sold and the personal data of the customers; making malpractice proceedings considerably easier. 

Holly set the visor to an even higher level of magnification. "Great. There's the serial number. 7-7-4." She handed the pincers back to Trouble. 

"Then we only have to find out who bought this particular gem, and we can finally start our search in earnest." The older Captain Kelp beamed. His brother, younger Captain Kelp (who had no real recollection as to _why_ he had been made Captain in the first place) nodded vigorously. 

Completely forgetting about Artemis, Holly couldn't – and didn't even want to – hide her happiness. "This wonderful! Oh, Trouble, I could kiss you!" She flung her arms around his neck and pressed a kiss on his cheek. 

For a moment Trouble didn't know what was happening around him – only he and Holly existed, surrounded by pink clouds. Holly had already disappeared into her flat when he was still standing there, a hand pressed over the spot she'd pecked. 

"Hey, Trub, you all righ'?" Grub's voice shook him out of his dream-like state. 

"What? Oh… oh, yeah. We're finished for today, Grub. First thing tomorrow we're going to ask Foaly to find the culprit with the help of this little beauty here." With that he dropped the gem back into the vial and pocketed it; then set off towards Mummy's house. Grub couldn't decide whether he was just imagining it, or Trouble's steps were indeed slightly staggering?

* * *

"You know, that wasn't nice of you," Artemis remarked, dropping the camouflage foil on the sofa in Holly's living room.   
"What?" 

"Treating that poor bloke like that. He's head over heels in love with you, and it's not nice to make him believe he has a chance." 

Holly folded her arms before her chest. "And what exactly makes you think he doesn't have a chance?" 

"It seems pretty obvious to me." He shrugged, sinking into the sofa. It was slightly small for him, but still comfortable. 

"Obvious?" She arched an eyebrow at her. "Just so that you know, I like Trouble a lot. A very nice person." 

Artemis's eyes narrowed, but his face was amused. "You're trying to make me jealous." 

"Jealous?" She laughed. "Why on earth would I want to make _you_ jealous?" 

"I don't know. That's something you would know," he replied calmly. "Would you show me the bathroom, please?" 

"What do you want to do there? Wash your hands or pee? Because if the latter, then don't even go looking for the loo in here. We have the loo out in the back garden." 

"Why?" asked Artemis, nonplussed. The last time humans had their latrines in the back garden had been sometime in the nineteenth century. 

"Because we believe that using the loo in your house is absolutely disgusting." 

"Oh, yeah, because having all the neighbours see you going to the loo isn't disgusting at all," he remarked. 

Holly pretended not to have heard him. "Come with me. And bring the foil. I don't want the neighbours to see that I'm having Mud Men at my place!" 

She led him to the back door that opened to a garden. At the other end of the garden stood five little buildings. "There are five flats in this house, and each one belongs to one of the flats." She pointed at the tiny buildings. "Mine is the one with number 4." 

"Charming," Artemis said, donning the foil. "You could as well have written 'Holly's loo' on it." 

She rolled her eyes. "Anyway, whenever you go to the loo, close the back door behind yourself. It seals automatically. Here."   
She quickly jotted down a long serial of numbers, "This is the code to the back door. Memorise it." 

"40023013. Memorised," he replied only five seconds later. "Patrick's date of birth read backwards, isn't it?" 

Holly nodded, not even surprised that he'd interpreted the code without any trouble. He was a genius, after all. 

She threw the piece of paper in the air and quick as a lightning, she pulled her Neutrino 2005 out of its holster and reduced the paper to ashes. "Now you may go. You might find the cubicle slightly uncomfortable for your size, but that's all I can offer. And try not to pee on the toilet seat." 

"Don't worry, I will not," he grunted, feeling thoroughly hurt. Artemis Fowl had never in his life peed on the toilet seat!

* * *

He found that Holly had been right – the building was too small and the toilet itself was too low-built for a human; but apart from that, it was one of the greatest wonders Artemis had ever seen in his life. For once, the inside of the building didn't resemble a nineteenth-century latrine at all – it was as sterile as a surgery and smelled of green apples. The instant he entered, a movement-sensor activated the lights and it wasn't that 'barely enough to see where the toilet paper was' sort of lighting, but a perfect imitation of sunlight on a cloudless sky. He could as well have read a book, had he wanted to. However, as it turned out, fairies usually didn't read books on the loo – they had other methods for entertainment. Artemis was surprised to see all kinds of buttons on the wall. He pressed one, and some sort of a tiny control panel emerged from the wall, offering a list of various fairy computer games. "Wicked!" he breathed, completely forgetting why he'd come here in the first place. 

When he finally returned to Holly's flat, she gave him a half-questioning, half-angry look. "What took you forty minutes? Diarrhoea?" 

"No." Artemis shook his head. "Fairy chess." 

"I should have known," she sighed. "You beat the computer, I trust?" 

"All fifteen times." 

Holly closed her eyes. Mud Boy here hadn't even spent an hour at her place and he was already driving her mad. _Relax. Take a deep breath, and think of Patrick._

"All right. I'm showing you your room."

* * *

Artemis looked around in Patrick's bedroom. There were some shirts lying discarded on a chair, there were boxes full of microchips heaped haphazardly upon each other on the writing table and some broken test tubes littered the floor in a corner. 

"Are you _absolutely sure_ he's my son?" asked Artemis, glancing at Holly over his shoulder. 

"A thousand percent sure. Why?" 

"I would have died of shame, had I ever left my room in a state like this." 

"Oh." She smiled. "This is something he inherited from me. As a teenager I was a bit of a slob." 

It was hard for Artemis to imagine a pubescent Holly Short living in a room like this, listening to fairy rap with her legs propped on the computer's keyboard… but then again, she was long past puberty and most teenagers just grew out of being slobs. At least that's what he'd read in psychology books, for he didn't really have first-hand experience on puberty. When other boys in St. Bartleby's had been lusting after girls, Artemis had been occupied with stock exchange speculations, spectrophotometers and analytic trends. He had never had time for girls, and it never even occurred to him that he actually missed them. If he missed them at all. 

"Well then, should you feel hungry, there's still a bit of Patrick's birthday cake left in the fridge," Holly spoke up. "I'll go and buy something else tomorrow morning." 

"Okay, but please, nothing filled with beetles. And no dolphin either. Something vegetarian will do. Possibly nothing filled with algae, moss or mould." 

"Anything else?" asked Holly sharply. 

"Yeah, Earl Grey, if you have it. With no more than one sugar cube." 

"Oh. Good that you aren't choosy at all." 

Ignoring the sarcastic edge in her voice, he pointed at the bed. "Am I getting clean bedclothes?" 

"Yes - if you change them yourself. You'll find fresh ones in that drawer over there. In case you'd like to take a shower, the bathroom opens from the living room - that light blue door, you can't mistake it. But don't use too much warm water; it's quite expensive. Good night, Mister Fowl." 

With that she walked out, leaving Artemis alone in his son's untidy room, having to meet the challenge of putting on fresh bedclothes for the first time in his life. No Juliet or Butler to serve him dinner either, not to mention that using the fairy toilet was a highly uncomfortable experience with his size. He was beginning to think that perhaps he should have stayed at Fowl Manor and not intervened in the fairies' business for a change. Trouble had found that eyeball-gem after all; it was possible that Patrick would be freed in two days and Artemis had come down here in vain. 

Half an hour and a lot of struggle-with-the-bedclothes later Artemis pulled the covers over him (wearing only a vest and boxers, given that Patrick's pyjamas were too small for him). Then he realised that not on Patrick's pyjamas were too small for him, but the bed and the quilt too. Curling into a foetal position, he tried to cover his legs, but no matter how he arranged the quilt, it was never big enough keep all of his body parts warm. However, he was too tired to feel angry about the inconvenience. 

The last thing he saw before turning off the lights was a smiling picture of Holly, standing on the bedside table. She had a nice smile, he decided, drifting off to sleep.

* * *

Patrick was regaining consciousness. He slowly opened his eyes, blinked and looked around. There wasn't much to behold: he was in an empty room with walls of steel. The only object in the room was the cot he was lying on. 

He sat up, massaging his head. It hurt, as though it had been hit with something really big or really hard. Or both.   
He tried to remember his attackers, but all he remembered was that he had been looking at Foaly's magnificent indoor firework, and then - _cut._

How on earth had anyone managed to enter his mother's flat despite the security? – he wondered. Then it dawned on him: about a month ago he had been pretending to be 'exercising the basics' on Foaly's computer (in reality he had been hacking into the centaur's files on a certain Artemis Fowl). That was when Foaly had mentioned to one of the tecchies that he was developing something really spectacular, but unfortunately it only worked with disabled security. That 'something really spectacular' must have been the firework – the boy concluded. So the security in the Short Residence must have been disabled, that's how the kidnappers had got in. 

Patrick stood up and decided to do a bit of investigation in case there were things he hadn't noticed upon awakening. But, after five minutes of thorough examination, he had to realise that there was absolutely nothing to notice here. Well, of course there were some hidden cameras all around the walls (Patrick noticed them without any problem), but there was nothing else he could have used to get out of here. If the cameras got shut down and he managed to get hold of one of them and dismantle it, he might find circuits to open the door of his 'cell' with – however, the cameras were situated at ten feet and Patrick was only three and a half feet tall. He couldn't even have reached them, had he stood upon the cot. 

What could he do? Wait. There was no other option. If his captors didn't want him to starve to death, then they'd have to put in an appearance with something edible any minute now. Feeling his stomach rumble, Patrick hoped that minute would come soon. Very soon. 

However, he had to wait another three hours before he heard steps from outside. He rose to his feet - since he was ten centimetres taller than the average fairy, he was hoping that his kidnappers would have to look up to him instead of looking down at his sitting figure. A good first impression could work wonders, after all, and if he managed to look at least a little bit formidable, then it was half a victory. 

The door slid open and two armed gnomes appeared, pointing their blasters at the boy.__

_It doesn't look good_, Patrick told himself. 

Shortly after the gnomes a third fairy entered – a fairy such as Patrick had never seen. For one, most of his face was covered with a metallic mask; secondly, his whole stature gave the impression of a misshapen figure. The fairy looked slightly hunchbacked and his choppy movement proclaimed a deformed bone-structure. _And fairies call **me** a zombie!_ – the boy thought bitterly. 

Seeing the masked fairy's mismatched eyes fixed upon him, Patrick straightened his back as much as possible. For a second he was grateful to the Mud Man genes he'd inherited from that Fowl person; for he caught a glint of fear in the gnomes' eyes. By fairy-standards he was a real giant. A shame that the glint of fear disappeared from the gnomes' eyes as they apparently realised that they had a gun while the 'giant' did not. 

"May I know who you are and why you've brought me here?" Patrick decided to be the one to initiate negotiations. _Just look calm and superior_, he reminded himself, willing his features to show as much arrogance as possible. Once again he was grateful to his father – according to Foaly's files on Fowl, he had been a horribly self-confident person. Patrick had even managed to see a 3D pic of the thirteen-year-old Artemis, and the boy in the picture looked just as self-assured as Patrick was trying to look now. He had no doubt he managed to mimic the trademark Fowl look, for the masked fairy's eyes narrowed upon seeing Patrick's expression. Obviously he had been expecting a scared, trembling prisoner, but instead he got an arrogant one. 

"Very well," the masked fairy replied. "You have been brought here because we need your help, my boy." 

Young Short raised an eyebrow at his captor, and his lips tucked into a derisive smirk. "Help you? With what?" 

"You will make that substance for me." 

"What substance?" Patrick gave his captor a cheeky expression, mixed with a little bit of polite confusion. Just a little bit, so that the kidnapper wouldn't be able to decide whether Patrick indeed had no idea what was being asked of him, or he was simply pulling the kidnapper's leg. _Keep your enemies insecure. _That's the best tactic in such situations. 

"You know what I'm talking about, boy!" snapped the masked fairy. "The project you've been working on for ages! I want that potion that gives fairies human looks and you'll make it for me!" 

"Excuse me," Patrick cut in, "but that isn't a… what did you call it? _Potion?_" He let out a cold laugh. "Who do you think I am? Professor Snape?" 

"Who?" 

Patrick rolled his eyes. "Such ambitions and no culture at all. Which planet have you been living on?" 

"Enough of your cheek, boy! You'll make the potion for me and-" 

"It's _not_ a potion, sir," Patrick cut in again. "It's a highly complicated chemical. Not a mixture of bat eyes and eel spleens, if you get my drift…" 

"Whatever." The fairy seemed to lose patience. "You will make it for me, boy." 

"Really? And what makes you think I will?" 

"Because if you won't, then these two gentlemen here will blast you into smithereens." 

Patrick squinted at the armed gnomes with a bored expression, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "And who will make the substance if I'm blasted into smithereens?" 

His captor seemed to seethe with rage. "So, you are unwilling to cooperate?" 

"Brilliant deduction." 

"Well, we'll see, boy. We'll see. Hunger will perhaps make you change your mind."__

_Hunger? D'Arvit_. This was what Patrick had been dreading: starving. He had barely eaten anything on his birthday – only a small chunk of lichen cake – and his stomach felt terribly empty. However, he decided not to show it. "I doubt it. I'm not hungry at all." 

"You will be. Yes, you will be," cackled the masked fairy. "And then, when you are hungry enough to eat anything you're given, you will be given something with a bit of Obedience Serum in it…" 

Young Short's eyes widened. The bloke was cleverer than he'd thought. 

"Oh, baby Short is surprised!" The masked fairy clasped his hands contentedly. "Well, you'll be more surprised soon, for Quartz Quench won't give up on his plan until he pulls it through!" 

"Quartz Quench? You're that millionaire who found some crystals while digging at the back garden?" Patrick asked sarcastically. "How unfair that nowadays any idiot can get rich out of sheer dumb luck while geniuses are horribly underpaid…" 

"Unfair, isn't it?" Quartz leaned closer so that the boy could smell his stinky breath. "The world is unfair, boy, acquiesce yourself to it. The world has been unfair to me, too. And that's why I'm taking revenge on the world now." 

"Revenge on the world? Isn't that a bit far-fetched?" 

"Not with your substance, Short." Quartz leaned even closer, so that he was almost whispering, "With the help of your substance I will don a human appearance and I will have a chance to get in contact with certain humans who will help me get what I want." 

"That's it? You need my invention to get in contact with Mud Men?" Patrick looked unimpressed. "Have you heard of one Briar Cudgeon? My mother told me about him. He had been _mesmerising_ some Frenchman through some tiny screen and the bloke did whatever Cudgeon wanted him to. You could have done it, too… and without real contact your unfortunate Mud Man associates wouldn't have to faint from your breath." 

"You think you're funny, playing the aloof little boy, do you? Just let me inform you: you're not funny in the least." 

"I know. Geniuses usually don't exist in order to be funny. There are clowns like yourself for that purpose." 

"Clown, perhaps." Quartz nodded. "But a very rich clown. A clown who will finally break you and destroy the fairies with your help." 

"Now wait a minute!" Patrick held out a hand. "First you said you only wanted my invention to get in contact with Mud Men, now you already want to destroy our world?" 

"Perhaps you're not even as clever as everyone said you were. I need that human contact because only humans can get me something that will destroy the fairies. Period. You have the whole story now, Shorty." 

"Short," Patrick corrected. 

"I'd rather say Tall…" 

The boy rolled his eyes. "You are about the five-hundredth fairy who tells me this joke, so don't expect me to laugh at it. And you still haven't answered my question: why do you need personal contact with a human when you could just mesmerise them through a screen?" 

"Patrick, Patrick," Quartz said in an almost fatherly voice, "you have an IQ of 170, yet you're so naive… I need skilled Mud Men for my aims. Not some idiot who can be _mesmerised_ through a screen… Mud Men with strong wills. Have I made myself clear?" 

"Perfectly. A shame that you will never pull this off. I'd rather die of hunger than to assist in the destruction of my world. I don't know why you hate this world so much as to want to destroy it, but you can be sure you won't have a chance for that." 

Quartz squinted at the boy. "We'll see, young Short. We shall see."   


* * *

**A/N:** review, please! :))   



	7. Not mulch of an interlude

**Author's note: **first of all, I'd like to say thanks to everyone who ever reviewed a fic of mine. Thanks to you, now I have over ten thousand reviews here on ffnet. -grins and hugs you all- 

**Note to the unknown flamer: **I trust you haven't even read the fic before you passed judgement. I don't think I'm a sick-minded sicko, because Arty and Holly never had sex (I suppose you called me a sick-minded sicko because you read in the summary that A/H had a son.) Let me give you some advice: never pass judgement before you know what you're judging. There's one thing you're right about: this wouldn't happen in the books. But let me remind you that _this is a fanfiction_. And fanfiction is about writing things the original author would never write. 

_El Shabang_: as you'll see in this chapter, the eyeball gem was there to enable Holly and Trouble to play Poirot ;) Nope, Opal isn't working with her brother. 

_knonoka_: Juliet is about the same height as Arty. And you'll be getting Butler in this chapter :) 

_C-chan1_: I thought the same: I envy Patrick because he already knows how the HP series ends. You have already introduced Piece O'Crap to me. I believe you introduced him to me in June when I was still posting Fates ;) 

_The OddBird_: I'm not in college, I finished college over half a year ago and I'm currently doing a two-year long university course to get a second diploma. At the college I really had lots of freetime, but here at the university I don't. I've never been busier and more tired :(( 

_Marfbag_: I had no idea that some Tatooine scenes were filmed at San Diego. I thought they were filmed at Tunesia. About hot water being expensive... -shrugs- no particular reason for that. Here in Hungary, for example, hot water is more expensive than cold because you need to use either gas or electricity to warm it, and both gas and electricity are expensive. I know that in the bowels of Earth water is always warm (Colfer writes so in book one, as far as I remember). So let's just say that Holly only told Arty that warm water was expensive to make sure that he wouldn't spend too much time in the bathroom (Holly's like me in this respect: mum and I always 'fight' over the bathroom, LOL). 

_BeatlesLover:_ even Patrick used to be a small child, and a small child could like tales. So he liked (and still likes) Harry Potter. (certainly it's only because _I _like HP. In all my fics I project some of my own personality/interests into the characters. For example in The Greatest Shame Dennis Creevey was a diehard Star Wars fan, and you'll see that there's a diehard SW fan in this fic too ;) 

_Cyberspace:_ yes, writing A/H was my intention. However I decided to write less of sapiness and look at their relationship from a more interesting perspective. Glad you like it :) 

_DarkFlower2113_: sorry if I haven't answered your question, must have avoided my attention. I'm answering it now. No, there will not be rivalry between father and son, because the plot will not give them a chance to 'compete'. However, in this chapter you'll see what both of them think of the other. 

_Indigo Ziona:_ Arty can't complain about having to sleep in Patrick's bed. I could complain more - we've had one of our rooms repainted and every single piece of furniture got removed from that room and I had to sleep on the floor (on a mattress) for a whole week. Do you really 'fall asleep' in biochemistry? ;) 

_TrunkZy:_ I wasn't aiming to create a character cooler than Arty, because no one's cooler than him (perhaps only Holly;) Yup, Arty will be snooping in Patrick's things right in this chapter. 

_tania15_: you'll get the A/H romance, and the 'bitching at each other' too. Loooots of it, so don't worry :D I love writing 'bitching at each other' scenes ;) 

_Mistri, Tonks' Admirer:_ when you'll be finished reading the books, you'll see why Arty's sarcastic. What's Acetaldehyde dehydrogenase? No idea, ask Indigo Ziona (Helen in the green flame torch group), she gave me such funny biochemistry expressions (she's a biochemist). When I was small we also had the toilet in the back garden in our weekend house. But I don't remember it, because we sold that one and bought another weekend house with toilet in the house when I was three. I only know it because my parents told me stories about it. Yup, Arty never had time/interest for girls. Yes, fairies read Mud Man books and watch Mud Man movies. 

_neutralgal_: thanks for recommending the fic. By the way, do you know how this 'strongly recommend' function of ffnet works? When you check that box in the review, what happens? Will the fic appear on some list of recommended fics or what? I haven't seen such a list... 

_Holly Rox_: there will be some romance-like-thingies in the bridge chapters, but not much. Real romance only comes in the more exciting chapters. 

_Keiko_: I deliberately wrote that Arty's memory recall didn't entail emotions, because I wanted to make sure that he wouldn't be too friendly with Holly all of a sudden. He needs to be a bit cold to her for a while. 

_Epsilon2Delta_: I don't think that the Holly/Root conversation was superfluous. I wanted to show how Julius convinced her to go to Arty - and I wanted to show that it wasn't Holly's idea and that she didn't like the idea of visiting Artemis at all. Also, I wanted to show how Holly realised why Patrick had been kidnapped (Julius was needed to help her realise it). 

_LittleGreenPerson:_ yup, Quartz is stupid. He isn't unintelligent, but still stupid :) 

Also thanks to: _BrownPyrde, Crescent Fresh, septempopuli, Milette Tails Prower, TinkerBell394587, Miss Piratess, thisal625, blue-flames, sophianwin, leafs-gurl999, luckyducky7too, WackedOutPet13, leonsalanna_

* * *

**Chapter 7******

**Not mu(l)ch of an interlude**  
  
Holly awoke in a good mood. Trouble had found a clue; and if everything went all right, they'd have Patrick back soon. Every cloud had a silver lining. 

Humming the horrible pizza song, she made her bed and headed for the bathroom. She decided that after a nice shower she'd shout at Mud Boy to wake up. At six a.m., human time. She couldn't help feeling a malicious grin spread across her face.  
Spoiled Mr. Fowl would surely be scandalised by being woken up so early in the morning! 

Still humming the pizza song (she had no idea why she couldn't stop humming it – she truly detested it), she entered the bathroom. 

Feeling her jaw drop, she wished she'd kept out. 

There he was, taking a shower. The rippling glass of the shower-cubicle slightly distorted his figure, not allowing her to catch a proper glimpse of 'details', but still… she felt she couldn't move. She was rooted to the spot. 

Several thoughts crossed her mind: How come he's up so early? _How has he become this gorgeous? Isn't a spoiled Fowl supposed to lie in till ten o' clock? He isn't supposed to look this good! Hasn't he noticed my presence? I hope he hasn't! No, he seems to be enjoying the warm water, his eyes closed… Hey, he's using too much of the warm water, although I very clearly told him not to!_

Artemis started to lather himself; completely oblivious to one Holly Short staring at him wide-eyed. 

Not many times had Holly felt that she couldn't move even if she wanted, but this definitely belonged to one of those few times. Foam covered him everywhere – well, _almost_ everywhere; bubbles danced gracefully in the air… Unconsciously Holly licked her lips. 

And then – _bang._

Holly shuddered and realised where she was and what she was doing. This was Mud Boy here, for heaven's sake! And Mud Boy had just dropped the flask of shampoo. 

Before he could even bend and pick it up, she was out of the bathroom. 

In her own room, she dropped herself into an armchair, practically hyperventilating. Had Artemis noticed her? If yes, what could he be thinking of her now? That she was a voyeur? She seriously hoped he didn't think anything of the sort. 

Minutes later there was a knock on the door. "Commander? Are you in there?" 

"Y-yes. I am. What do you want?" 

"May I come in?" 

"Er…" Holly hastily wiped her beading forehead (_why on earth am I sweating?_ – she wondered). "Yeah, do come in." 

A second later she wished she hadn't said so. 

There he was in the doorframe, wearing a teensy bit of towel wound around his waist, his hair still dripping wet. "I hope you don't mind me using one of your towels. I found this one in the upper drawer, I thought you weren't using it right now, so…" 

Holly nodded. Then shook her head. However, no sound came out of her mouth. 

"Are you all right? Something wrong with your jaw?" 

She again shook her head and closed her mouth, cursing to herself. Finally she found her voice. "You could have put some clothes on." 

"I wanted to… but I never dress before shaving. You know, it is highly uncomfortable when tiny pieces of hair fall on your shirt and tickle you all day," he replied casually. 

"Ow. Artemis Fowl is ticklish." She smirked. "And, why don't you shave and dress, then?" 

"Because I haven't brought my shaving kit. Your Commandership made it clear for me that we had to leave as soon as possible, and I sort of forgot to pack my Gillette Mach3… So I was wondering whether I might borrow yours?" 

"Mine? My what?" She gave him a politely confused look. 

"Your shaver, razor or whatever you use on your legs." 

"My legs?" She gasped. "Excuse me, but I'm a fairy! And fairies don't need to shave their legs!" 

"Really?" He raised his eyebrows, leaning on the doorframe. 

Holly rolled her eyes. "Fifth drawer." 

A shadow of a smile appeared on Artemis's face. "Thanks." He turned around to leave, then doubled back. "By the way, was I just imagining things, or were you inside the bathroom while I was taking a shower? I heard the door creak…" 

Holly felt warmth creeping up her cheeks. _Don't blush, don't blush, d'Arvit, don't blush!_

"Er, not really. I barely opened the door when I heard the water running and I immediately knew you must be in there, so I closed the door right away without entering. Why," she said with an angelic-innocent expression, "what could have I seen that I would have found _interesting_?" 

"That depends on what you consider interesting." 

"Well, naked Mud Men don't fall into that category. And just so that you know: I've seen you naked before, Mud Boy, and didn't find you exactly… interesting." 

Seeing the confusion on Artemis's face, her lips tucked into a grin. She got her revenge. Artemis Fowl couldn't make her blush unpunished! 

"What are you talking about? How could you have seen me…?" 

"Remember the Spiro Needle, Mister Fowl?" She stretched out in her armchair, enjoying the situation tremendously. "You were wearing my iris cam. And you forgot to remove it while you were taking a shower. To tell you the truth, there wasn't much to behold..." 

"Charmingly honest as always, Commander." Artemis said without a trace of annoyance. "I was indeed a scrawny little boy. Small, in every respect. But, as you perceived yesterday, I've grown." With that he turned around and left.__

_Yeah, you've grown. In every respect_, she thought, closing her eyes and rubbing her temples. Mud Boy was giving her a headache early in the morning.

* * *

Mulch was sitting at the very back of a dirty little restaurant, wondering what he'd pay for his sandwich with. He'd escaped from prison only three days before and he hadn't yet eaten anything but dirt and that one single sandwich. He was weighing his chances of vanishing from the bar without settling the bill, but the waiter – a rather burly elf – kept a suspicious eye on him. He presented the elf with a wide smile until the poor fellow felt forced to look away. Mulch had that effect on people. 

Now what to do… what could he offer the waiter as a payment? Go and wash the dishes? A dwarf? That's unheard of!  
Although he was sure he didn't have anything of any value with him, Mulch checked his pockets. A dirty handkerchief… one of his teeth that a goblin had knocked out at Howler's Peak… and a coin, hanging from a thin string. 

A coin! 

Mulch's eyes widened with glee, but only for a second. No use, the coin was punctured. He could as well have thrown it away; it was completely worthless. He didn't even understand why he'd kept it. He must have had it in his pocket for several years without giving it a proper glance. 

He was just about to slip it back into his pocket when something caught his eyes. That coin wasn't merely punctured – it was somehow… weird. As though it weren't even a real coin. Apparently someone had tried to disguise this tiny object as a coin.  
Mulch held it close to his eyes. After a thorough examination the object seemed slightly too flat for a coin – it rather looked like some sort of a disk. 

A disk, painted to look like a fairy coin. An artistic masterpiece - whoever made it, must have had a great talent for forgery. 

"Excuse me," Mulch called the waiter. 

"Would you like to settle your bill, sir?" 

"No, not yet." Mulch shook his head. "I was wondering if I could use your computer for a couple of minutes." 

"Obviously, we are an Internet Café after all," replied the elf. "I trust you can pay for the computer-use as well?"__

_An Internet Café, of cooourse_, Mulch thought, looking at the single, shabby computer. Aloud he only said: "Naturally I can pay for it." 

He sat down in front of the computer and inserted the tiny disk, hoping against hope that it would play despite the gold leaf layer, and that the mysterious disk wasn't virus-infected. Not being able to pay for a sandwich was one thing, but ruining the operating system was another. No doubt that this burly elf would beat him into pulp if he destroyed their only computer.  
Much to his delight, the disk wasn't infected. However, it took the computer quite a while to open the files on it, because it needed a lot of converting and decoding – Mud Men technology, obviously, and a rather old one at that. 

Finally the file opened. Originally it must have been written in some Mud Man language, but the computer had converted it to  
Gnommish. The title said: _Artemis Fowl's diary, disk 2._

"Artemis Fowl," Mulch whispered. "Artemis…" His mind was suddenly assaulted by memories. Memories that Foaly had fine-tune wiped after that semen-stealing incident. The centaur had been downright gracious, robbing the dwarf of only certain memories – all memories concerning Artemis Fowl. 

Mulch couldn't help but smirk. Perhaps that centaur wasn't even that clever – he'd obviously forgotten to take this coin from him, although both he and Root had seen the Arty kid give him the medallion. "Morons," he muttered, rubbing his hands together. Now he clearly remembered the message young Fowl had slipped into his palm when they'd shaken hands thirteen years earlier.__

_Bring the medallion to me. Together we will be unstoppable._

Well, Mulch decided, it was time for him to become unstoppable. And he couldn't have thought of a better partner in crime than Artemis Fowl II.

* * *

Butler was getting worried. He had just returned from a two-day visit at his aunt's, only to find Fowl Manor completely empty. He had walked along all the corridors, peeked into all the rooms, but found no one. Artemis had disappeared. 

Butler had found a piece of half-eaten toast on his young master's desk and an untouched one lying on a plate. There were some flecks of marmalade on the table and a crumpled handkerchief also smudged with marmalade. It suggested that Artemis had had a visitor and they had wanted to eat breakfast (or dinner) together. What had happened that stopped them from finishing their toast was something Butler couldn't even imagine. 

Whatever happened, he tried to calm himself by reminding himself that Juliet had disappeared too, and it very likely meant that she was with Artemis, protecting him. The boy – correction: young man (Butler still considered his one-time Principal a 'boy') – couldn't be in danger with Juliet as his bodyguard. Could he? 

Well, one way to find out. 

Butler entered the study that was, as ever, full of computers. All he had to do was replay the recordings of the security cameras and he'd have the answer to his questions. Hopefully. 

He flopped down into a chair and was just about to replay the events recorded by the camera hidden in Artemis's workroom when a small figure appeared on one of the screens. A small, but slightly familiar figure. It first pushed the doorbell then started making rude gestures into the front door camera. 

"What the…?" muttered Butler. This small bloke was really, really familiar to him… where had he seen him?

Sig Sauer in hand, Domovoi headed for the front door. The visitor seemed tiny enough not to mean any harm, but a onetime bodyguard couldn't take chances with anyone.

"At last!" groaned the small bloke when Butler opened the front door. "I thought I'd have to break in again if no one answered the door. Good to see you, Big Man." 

"Mulch." Butler's eyes narrowed as he sized up the dwarf. Mulch could almost see the cogwheels whirring inside the manservant's head, putting memories into their rightful places. "You are Mulch Diggums." 

"I know who I am." The dwarf rolled his eyes. "You look good, Big Man. Quite youthful… I could say your face looks as smooth as a dwarf's bottom…" 

For some reason Butler's hands clenched into fists, but even if he was mad, he managed to hide it well. "My face might look good, but what happened to yours?" 

"Got beaten up a bit." Mulch waved, walking past Butler into the house. "Had a small problem convincing a barman that I'd return to them and settle the bill later… that big oaf just wouldn't trust me!" 

"Wonder why," grunted the manservant. "So, what brings you here, Diggums? And what is this smell?" 

"Sunscreen. Had to steal some from a shop. What brings me here? Well, I've got a little deal to settle with the Mud Whelp." 

"You mean Artemis?" 

"Who else?" 

"A bit more respect, fairy dwarf. Artemis Fowl the Second is an honourable gentleman, and winner of three Nobel Prizes." 

"_Honourable?_" Mulch stopped in his tracks. "Then I might have come here in vain." 

"What do you mean, Diggums? Not some dirty business again?" 

"Dirty? Nooooo." The dwarf gave Butler a huge smile, displaying all his slab-like teeth. "I'm merely returning to Artemis something that is rightfully his." 

"The coin, I suppose," said Butler, remembering The Plan – Artemis had done everything possible to regain his memories of the People after the mind-wipe; and giving Diggums the 'coin' was part of The Plan. 

"The disk, you mean," Mulch corrected him. "I know it's a disk, and it is supposed to trigger Artemis's memories of the People." 

Domovoi nodded. "You can give it to me, I'll hand it over to him." _If he returns_, he added in thought. 

"No-no." Mulch shook his head. "This is something I've got to give him in person. _He_ wanted _me_ to deliver it in person." 

"Then you'll have to come back later, little fellow, because Artemis isn't here." 

"Where is he then?" 

For a minute Butler seemed to weigh the pros and cons of telling Mulch the truth, but finally he decided that it wouldn't do any harm to admit that not even he knew where young Fowl was. Who knows, Diggums might even help find Artemis, especially if he wanted to give Artemis something so badly. 

"I don't know," he said. 

"Excuse me?" The dwarf blinked. 

"I said it quite clearly, didn't I? I don't know where Artemis is. I was just about to find out what happened here yesterday when you arrived. You may accompany me to the study." 

Shrugging, Mulch followed the manservant.

* * *

"Why, isn't that the charming Commander Short?" The dwarf pointed at the screen. It showed a small figure approaching Artemis's worktable.__

_"Commander_? Isn't she a captain?" 

"Used to be, yeah, but got promoted after old Julius retired," explained Mulch. "But ssshhh!" He pressed his index finger to his mouth. Butler nodded. He felt they needed to hear every single word of Artemis and Holly Short's conversation to get a clear picture of what had taken place here the day before. 

Ten minutes later Butler caught himself staring at the screen, completely dumbfounded. "So Artemis's got his memories back. And he has a son… by a fairy! And _you_," he turned to the dwarf with an accusing expression, "you helped the fairies with their dirty little scheme!" 

"Hey, hey, I was forced, okay?" Mulch held up a placating hand. "Julius offered me a hundred years off my punishment! Then again… he and that stupid centaur mind-wiped me and I completely forgot about those hundred years… I'll get back at them for that, I swear I will! Making me do the dirty work and then making me forget about my rightful reward!" 

"I doubt that a dwarf on the run could get revenge on Julius Root and the LEP's genius," remarked Butler coldly. "However, Artemis might be willing to help you out… he too has been used by those two. And Artemis isn't the type of person who lets himself be used by anyone and lets the person go unpunished." 

"What are you hinting at?" Mulch arched a bushy eyebrow at the manservant. 

"Find Artemis and Juliet and help them if they need it." 

The dwarf folded his arms, looking downright smug. "Oh, so the Big Man finally admits that without good old Mulch Artemis Fowl is bound to fail." 

"I'm not saying he's bound to fail, Diggums, I'm just-" 

"…worried about the whelp," Mulch finished the sentence. 

Butler nodded. "I wish I could go with you, but there's no way I could get underground unnoticed." 

"Not to mention that the old ticker isn't working as it should," added the dwarf knowingly. "I'll see what I can do, Big Man.

Do you have any messages for Stinker if I see her?"__

_"Stinker?_"

* * *

'Stinker', that is to say, Juliet Butler, had insisted on spending the day with Artemis in Holly's flat, so Julius Root took it on himself to drive the camouflaged Mud Woman to the Commander's quarters. 

Upon arriving at their destination, Juliet immediately checked the whole flat, assessing the security measures. 

"Keep your hair on, Juliet, your precious Principal is perfectly safe here," said Holly, dropping a bag full of food on the table. "I hope these will be to Mister Fowl's taste. If not, then sorry, but I can't get anything better. These were the only things in the supermarket that vaguely resembled Mud Man food." 

Juliet picked up a suspicious-looking package. There was some text written on it, but she couldn't decipher Gnommish.

"What's this? And what does the text say?"

"This is cheese, made of centaur-milk. Damn expensive, so Artemis had better like it," grunted Holly. 

"Where is he, by the way?" enquired Juliet. 

"In Patrick's lab, getting acquainted with the equipment, I trust." The young Commander shrugged. "It might take him a bit of time, given that fairy technology is way more advanced than human, even in the biochemistry area." 

"No need to boast, Commander." Artemis stuck his head out of Patrick's room. "The fairy lab isn't much more complicated than ours, I've already figured it out. No problem at all." 

"Certainly. Why would Artemis Fowl have a problem with _anything_?" replied Holly heavily. 

"Why do I have the feeling that you're trying to be sarcastic?" The young man raised a cocky eyebrow at her. 

"Absolutely no idea, Mister Fowl." Holly forced a smile. "I've got to go now. Wonder whether Foaly has identified the culprit with the help of that eyeball gem…"

* * *

It turned out that Foaly had. Actually, when Holly questioned him, he gave the Commander a hurt look. How could anyone assume that he _hadn't_ managed to identify the culprit? 

"Apparently our little friend is a gnome by the name of Furunculus Fungi," he explained. "His address is 77 Algae Avenue. At least that's his latest address. The bloke seems to be changing his addresses weekly. He isn't registered with any employer, seems to be some freelancer to me." 

"A bounty hunter?" 

The centaur nodded. "Something of the sort." 

"So he must have been hired by someone," Holly concluded. 

"Exactly. This means that the person we are looking for isn't Fungi himself…" 

"…but his employer," the Commander finished the sentence. 

"Bingo." 

"And can you find out who his employer is?" 

"'fraid not, Commander," the centaur admitted. "Bounty hunters have a different employer for almost every job. It would be rather hard to find out who his latest employer was… These 'employers' never care to register their 'employees'." 

"Wonder why," Holly sighed. The case wasn't looking good. "It seems our only chance is to round up this Fungi person…" 

"Yeah, that seems to be the only option, Holls." 

"Don't call me Holls!" she snapped irritably. She had never been a grouchy person, but the current situation was really taking its toll on her. Whenever a tiny ray of hope appeared on the horizon, it vanished as quickly as it had appeared. She had been so happy about the eyeball gem Trouble had found, and now it seemed to be almost useless. Not to mention that having Artemis Fowl as her 'guest' had a worse effect on her than she'd expected. She was getting frustrated – both by the helplessness and by _his_ presence. She tried to suppress her frustration, but suppressing it only made her irritable. 

"Oooooh, not you too!" Foaly groaned. 

"Not me too _what_?" Holly knitted her eyebrows. 

"Start this 'don't call me this and that'," replied Foaly. "Julius drove me mad with his constant 'don't call me Julius' rubbish." 

"You mean _you_ drove _him_ mad by calling him Julius all the time," Holly corrected him. 

Foaly shrugged. "You're going to find that many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our point of view, Holls. Sorry, _Commander_." 

She shook her head in disbelief. "Mud Men movies have got on your nerves, Foaly. Well," she turned to the Kelp brothers standing silently in the background, "you've got the address. Try to round up this Fungi person." 

"Do. Or do not. There is no try," Foaly added dramatically.

* * *

_Next day_

The gnome was sweating profusely. No wonder, since a Neutrino 2005 was pointed at his head. At the other end of the blaster stood Trouble Kelp with an expression as menacing as he could muster. Next to him stood Grub Kelp, trying to look just as menacing as his brother – but failing miserably. 

However, Trouble and his Neutrino were enough to make the gnome break out in a sweat. His tiny eyes were nervously shifting across the room, eager to find a way to escape, but there was none. The door had been locked by that LEP chick, he'd clearly seen it. 

Now that certain 'LEP chick' stepped to him, a grim look on her otherwise pretty face. "Some say you are a professional, Fungi," she said with a derisive edge in her voice. "But you must have lost your touch… first losing your precious eyeball gem, then living under one address for more than a week… no wonder the Kelps managed to catch you." 

"Well, it wasn't _that_ easy, Holly… Commander," commented Trouble. "The bloke put up resistance. He even shot me, look."

He pointed at his left ear whose tip was bandaged.

"Poor Trouble." Holly smiled. "You did a wonderful job rounding him up." 

The older Kelp brother beamed at her. For a second Holly half-wished Artemis were here. Why? She couldn't have properly explained it to herself. Perhaps because Trouble had just given her another enamoured look? She quickly reminded herself that it wasn't proper to play with anyone's feelings; then it occurred to her that she didn't even know why she wished for Mud Boy to be here and see Trouble pining for her. Three days earlier Artemis had ever so nonchalantly remarked that she'd been trying to make him jealous. The idea still scandalised her. Jealous? Why would she want him to be jealous? This whole kidnapping must have gone to her nerves, she decided, and forced herself to focus on the trouble at hand. She hid a smile. That was a line with a double meaning. _Trouble at hand.___

_Snap out of it!_ her mind shouted at her. _You're a commander, for heaven's sake! And your son's life is at stake! This is no time for thinking of worthless Mud Boys and equivocal sentences!_

Holly straightened her back and turned to their prisoner. "Mr Fungi, we are going to have a little chat now."

* * *

In the meantime the 'worthless Mud Boy' was deeply immersed in preparing for a highly complicated biochemistry project. It was not only complicated but very important as well. As Holly had put it: in case Patrick's kidnapper was about to use the boy's invention to evil ends, they had to be prepared with an anti-serum. 

Artemis had already established that he was facing the greatest challenge of his life. Inventing a substance that slowed down the aging of human cells was one thing, but creating something that should reverse the effect of a possible chemical turning fairies into human-replicas was a completely different matter. For one thing, Artemis had come underground completely oblivious to the way the fairy organisms worked. He had been familiar with the fact that fairies occasionally needed to do the Ritual in order to replenish their magic, that the People on average had greater problems coping with cold than humans, and that dwarves could suck moisture through their pores (not to mention their unusual intestinal activities), but that was all he'd known. So first, he needed to get a clear picture of fairy anatomy. By now he had waded through all of his son's biology books and had a much clearer idea of how the elfin, dwarf, gnome and even goblin organisms functioned. 

It had taken him two whole days to read through all the biology books, and now it was time for Artemis to start reading Patrick's notes on the progress of his project. Holly had told him that her son had kept the notes on disks, to make sure that no one could just hack into his computer and retrieve the data for personal use. For some reason Artemis found this amusing. The boy seemed to have the same way of thinking he had had as a teenager. Actually Artemis still kept his most important files on disks, naturally encrypted. Thus he wasn't in the least surprised when he inserted one of Patrick's disks at random into the A: drive (or its fairy equivalent – Artemis wasn't sure what fairies called the various drives) and upon opening a file, he was encountered with tons of unfamiliar symbols cascading down the screen like drops of a waterfall. _The kid must have seen Matrix,_ Artemis thought. 

Being the most ingenious code-breaker, the only human ever to break Gnommish and to invent a completely new language for the C cube, he decided to give it a try and interpret the symbols. Holly had never mentioned to him whether Patrick's notes on the Project had been encrypted, so perhaps they weren't – but that must have meant that this disk wasn't the one he'd been looking for. 

After ten minutes of working on the code, Artemis had a feeling that he must have been trying to break into something more personal than the Council's famous project. Then again, none of Patrick's disks had been labelled in any way, so the only way he could find out which disk to read, was to open all the files on all the disks. 

After half an hour of futility, trying to break the code, Artemis started to believe that either Foaly's paranoia had rubbed off on Patrick or he had inherited Artemis's natural precaution. 

After almost three hours of arduous work the code finally gave. At once the young man got so flooded with different emotions that he didn't even note what the headline on the screen said. First, he felt slightly nauseated (failure always made him sick) – it shouldn't have taken him three hours to break a bloody code set up by a twelve-year-old! Not even if that twelve-year-old was some sort of Fowl-clone! Secondly he felt pride. He was proud of his son for creating an almost unbreakable code, and he was proud of himself too, for breaking it. He leant back into the swivel chair, deep in thought. He had never been the emotional type, and had someone accused him of ever going mushy, he would have immediately advised the person to go visit his psychiatrist; however, in these past three days more feelings had been awoken in him than in the past twelve years put together. First he had gained his fairy-related memories back, which was exhilarating and slightly frightening at the same time. Then he'd learned from Holly that he had unknowingly 'fathered' a child as clever, if not more clever than he was (_more clever?_ – he quickly banished the thought). Holly had told him that this son of his was in danger, and he had tried to use his poker face, but after watching that short video recording on the boy, he could no longer properly hide his feelings behind a mask of impassivity. The most frightening of all was that he couldn't even have defined the feelings that the knowledge of being a father had induced. All he knew was that they were wholly new and unfamiliar. It wasn't love, for Artemis had never loved anyone but his parents and Butler; still, it was _something_. And something rather complex at that. Not only pride, not only anxiety, not only jealousy… but a mixture of all. 

Certainly he had been playing with the thought of having children before, and he had expected that he'd love them, worry for them and be proud of their achievements, but it had never occurred to him that one day he might be jealous of them. 

From an early age Artemis had regarded it as natural that he was the wittiest creature in the whole of Europe and he was easily one of the three wittiest in the world, but it never even came to his mind that one day an heir of his might outdo him. It was a highly disconcerting feeling. 

Deep down he knew that he should be proud and ONLY proud of Patrick with no jealousy poisoning his heart; but knowing what you _should _feel and actually _being able to feel it_, are two different things. Why should he take unconditional pride in the boy? Who was the boy, after all? Someone he had never wanted, never planned and never even seen. Someone he'd never held in his arms or told stories to. Someone who had never called him _father_. Why have pangs of remorse, then? 

He directed his eyes back to the screen and was slightly surprised to see that he was viewing some sort of a diary. For a second a little voice inside his head reminded him that reading other people's diaries wasn't exactly a nice thing to do, but he quickly quieted that little voice. After all, what else could help him get to know and understand his son better than the boy's personal journal? 

He looked around, as though fearing that someone might catch him in the act. Then he shook his head in disbelief. No one was likely to catch him reading Patrick's diary, for Holly was at Police Plaza and Juliet was in the kitchen, preparing lunch. The younger Butler had been transported to Holly's flat every morning by Root and the onetime commander came to pick her up every night around ten o'clock. Juliet hadn't yet given up on convincing Holly to let her stay here for the nights as well, but Holly – no matter how fond of Juliet she was – kept turning her down, saying that one Mud Person was enough in the household, she couldn't deal with two. Juliet looked slightly hurt whenever the Commander refused to let her stay, but Artemis always reminded her that as long as no one in Haven knew about their presence, no one was likely to try and attack him. 

Artemis focused his attention on the screen again. The diary started at 2008. Remarkable, given that Patrick had only been four years old back then. Well, Artemis reminded himself, he had been able to read and write at four too, so why shouldn't his son be capable of the same thing at the same age? However, young Fowl had to admit that it hadn't occurred to him at the age of four to keep a diary. He had only started one after his father had disappeared and he began to plan the abduction of a fairy.  
Patrick's first journal entries seemed quite childish, telling how much he despised being in kindergarten and having to play hide-and-seek while he could as well have spent his time at home, taking a hard drive apart and putting it back together. 

As Artemis scrolled down, the entries grew more and more serious, reporting mostly about Patrick's years at school (_Holy Frond, who will rid me of horrible teachers like Miss Math? She expects me to add and subtract when I'm already familiar with matrixes and logarithm! I hate being an unappreciated genius!)_. This particular line made Artemis grin. He was delighted to note that he wasn't feeling pangs of remorse over reading the boy's diary. After all, Patrick hadn't written anything really personal so far. His thoughts could have been Artemis's thoughts at the same age; they were so similar. There were moments when Artemis almost forgot that he was reading another person's journal, not his own teenage one. He wondered what Doctor Po would have 'diagnosed', had he had a chance to meet Patrick. Surely his diagnosis would have been the same: "_You don't respect anyone! You don't consider anyone as your equal!_" 

Scrolling further down, Artemis soon reached the latest entries. There was some mention of the Project Patrick had been given by the Council, but the boy hadn't elaborated on it – clearly because his findings had been stored on another disk.  
_25th March, 2016_ – said the final entry. It was probably the longest one so far, and the first one that actually displayed more than self-consciousness. 

_Recently I've become suspicious that I've been lied to. I've been lied to – about everything. My conception, my parents, my whole existence. And what does a genius do when in doubt? Research, obviously. Now I half wish I hadn't delved into the matter of my origin, for what I found out is beyond anything I could ever imagine – in the wrong sense of the word._  
_My real parents aren't Jerry Frost and Sally Short Frost as my mother had always told me. No, actually my real mother is Holly Short, whom I've always believed to be my foster mother. She had claimed to have taken on raising me after my so-called parents, the Frosts (her second-cousin and her second-cousin's husband) had died in a magma flare. Rubbish. My mother is indeed my mother, but she's been lying to me all along. Why? That's easy. Because she didn't want me to ask about my biological father. Artemis Fowl. A Mud Man. A bloody Mud Man!_

In front of the screen, Artemis felt beads of sweat form on his forehead. He had never had a vivid imagination, but this time he could almost see the boy's disgusted face as he spat the word 'Mud Man'. A shiver ran down his spine. 

_Not that I have anything again Mud Men – the journal continued. I have never met any and never cared about them. However, the others in the school have always referred to Mud Men as though they were something horrible, as though Mud People had been carrying some infectious disease… I don't know what to think. Up till now I didn't think anything of Mud People. Why should I have? Their world and our world are as different as chalk and cheese. At least that's how I've been viewing this matter so far. But now I feel as though the world had collapsed around me. Not only do I have to accept the fact that I've been BRED for reasons so far unknown to me; but I also have to accept the truth that they bred me using sperm from a human. A human - a boy almost as young as myself. My so-called father was barely fourteen when he'd unknowingly contributed to my conception. I don't know whether I should feel sorry for him, or sorry for myself. I think we both deserve sympathy. We both have been lied to and used._  
_Foaly's secret files that I managed to hack into, say that this Artemis Fowl (isn't Artemis a girl's name, by the way?) used to be a criminal. He kidnapped my mother and rid the fairies of a huge amount of gold. For some reason I don't feel sorry for the fairies._  
_This is too bad… I'm already thinking of the People as 'the fairies', as though I wasn't one of them. Am I accepting the truth that I only partly belong to them? I wish I knew. No matter how much I know about psychology, I don't understand my own feelings. One thing is sure: I'd rather NOT consider myself part of the Mud Men folk. Not even if I have some Mud Man blood flowing in my veins. I'm not a pureblood fairy, that's true, but I would never call myself one of **them.**_

Artemis felt as though some invisible fist had compressed his gullet, trying to stifle him. He gulped to swallow the imaginary lump that had formed in his throat. 

So that was what his son thought of him. A bloody Mud Man. A Mud Man who deserves some sympathy for having been used, but a bloody Mud Man, nevertheless. 

Closing his eyes, he rubbed his temples. That little voice inside his head said with a derisive edge: _see, you shouldn't have peeked into his personal journal!_ Artemis could almost see a fairy-like form wagging its finger at him in a disapproving way. The form had a face slightly resembling Julius Root's. 

Artemis groaned. He was beginning to have a vivid imagination. That was a bad sign. Geniuses were supposed to be pragmatic with useful ideas, but not driven by their boundless imagination. The latter was for dreamers and lunatics, not geniuses. 

Then again, what would he have felt, had he one day realised that his father wasn't who he had always believed him to be? It crossed his mind that if he'd found out his father was an alien from Alpha Centauri; he would also have had problems accepting the cruel truth that he was half-alien. 

He shuddered. Half-alien? What sort of rubbish was that again? Artemis started to fear for his sanity. 

With the intention of closing the file, he glanced at the computer's screen again, but before he could have clicked on the tiny X in the upper right-hand corner, a few words caught his eyes: _mum likes him._

Forcing himself to clear his mind, he read the sentence from the beginning to understand it in its entirety. It was in the middle of the following – and final – paragraph. 

_I will ask mum about this whole Fowl affair, though. I want to hear it from her mouth. I want to know why exactly they had bred me. I'm also wondering how mum feels about my father. I've read all the files concerning Fowl and it seems to me that despite having been kidnapped by him, mum likes him. At least that's what Foaly's personal journal said. I know, I know, I shouldn't have read it, but I needed to know everything on my ancestry. Foaly wrote that at first he believed mum to be under the Stockholm syndrome, but later on he began to think that this wasn't the case. Apparently she had befriended Fowl and after Fowl's mind-wipe she wasn't herself. What could have affected her this much about a Mud Boy? Honestly._

Artemis felt a smile spread on his face. Not a grin, not a smirk, but a genuine smile. A rare thing for Artemis Fowl! 

So, after all, the 'annoyed by your presence, Fowl' behaviour was merely a mask Holly used to hide behind. She _still_ regarded him as her friend. Or perhaps more? Artemis touched his fingertips to each other, his mind replaying scenes: Holly approaching him at his workroom, her eyes wide with surprise; Holly insisting that she _liked_ Trouble Kelp a lot; Holly forgetting to close her mouth when he'd asked for her shaving kit… 

A new smile spread on his face at the thought of Patrick reading into Foaly's journal. So, after all, he shouldn't feel that guilty, for he wasn't the only one to peek into other's private thoughts. Like father, like son… 

Amused, Artemis closed Patrick's diary and inserted another disk into the computer. This one wasn't encrypted, and, as it turned out, it contained files on the Project. 

For some reason Artemis had a difficult time concentrating on the descriptions on HeLa cells and Phosphate buffered saline…

* * *

That evening Holly came home in an unusually good mood. 

"Has someone painted that smile on your face?" asked Artemis over dinner. 

"No." She shook her head. "But I do have a good reason to smile. We've captured the owner of the blue eyeball gem and interrogated him a bit." 

"Has he given information of importance?" wondered Juliet. 

"Definitely. All it took was pointing a gun at his head and he squealed on his last employer. Apparently the bloke who had kidnapped Patrick is called Quench. And you know what? This Quench is said to be a millionaire. Quite a famous person, though barely anyone has seen him yet. He seems to be a shy person…" 

"…or he's hiding something," added Artemis. 

"Very likely." Holly nodded. "Now the next step is to round up this Quench person and we'll have Patrick back." 

"Sounds way too simple to me," remarked Juliet. 

"Yeah, indeed it does sound too simple," admitted the commander. "But certainly it isn't. Quench doesn't seem to have a registered address at all. Foaly reckons he must live under another name or at some hidden place unknown to the rest of the world, like a deserted mine…" 

"So he could be possibly anywhere. Even in the flat right above yours," Artemis said matter-of-factly.

Reluctantly, Holly nodded.

"Then I don't understand your good mood, Commander," the young man continued. "You don't really have a reason to feel happy, for our goal still seems unachievable." 

"True, but we _have_ taken a step, and an important one at that, so don't go ruining my good mood, Fowl!" Holly scowled. 

Juliet rolled her eyes. Every evening the same: Artemis and Holly bickering at the dinner table – Artemis making remarks on the LEP's incompetence, Holly making remarks on Artemis's slow progress with the Project. The very air seemed to vibrate between these two, and Juliet thought that if looks could kill, then these two would have long ago died.

* * *

It had been three days since Patrick had last consumed any meal. He knew that one could live without food for seven days, but without drink only three-four days. He was thirsting; he was hungry, tired and cold. It crossed his mind that even Howler's Peak must be a more comfortable place. Not that he wasn't given any food – after two days of starving him, Quench had sent him a plate of what looked like moss salad, but he hadn't touched it. He had a suspicion that the salad had been soaked in Obedience Serum before it was served. 

He just couldn't risk tasting it, or he'd find himself forced to carry out the deformed fairy's vile orders. No way would a Short succumb to anyone! His mother had once borne captivity with tremendous courage, and Patrick didn't intend to be any weaker than she had been. 

In the past three days he'd caught himself thinking of his mother a lot. More than he had thought of her in his entire life. He couldn't help but admire her bravery and willingness to help everyone. No doubt she was already planning a rescue mission… Patrick took heart from convincing himself that help was on the way. That was the only thing that kept him from reaching out and grabbing that plate of salad.

* * *

"Do I really have to go?" Juliet pouted when Julius arrived in his shuttle to transport her back to his flat. 

"Do you have to ask each evening?" Holly sighed. 

"I know, I know, you don't have place for one more Mud Person." Juliet waved. "I was just hoping that one day you'd change your mind…" She sent Artemis a resigned look, and donning the camouflage foil, she followed Root out onto the street. 

"She seems a bit too attached to you," the commander remarked, closing the front door. 

"Yeah, she does." Artemis replied from the couch. He was holding a remote control in his hand, his eyes fixed upon the TV. "I can't believe you're getting twenty-year-old Mexican soap operas!" 

"Is there something between you two?" asked Holly out of the blue. 

"Yeah. Working relationship," he replied. "Does Esmeralda always have to lust after this Jose Armando?" 

Ignoring his evasive question, she carried on. "Working relationship… does that mean you haven't been shagging her?" 

"I never said that." 

Holly arched an eyebrow at him. 

"As I said, working relationship," he answered, directing his attention back to Esmeralda, who was making huge eyes at Jose Armando. "It helps her to keep fit, for it's some sort of gymnastic exercise. It helps me too to clear my mind…" 

Holly's eyes narrowed. "To clear your mind?" 

"Yeah," Artemis said, switching to another channel that happened to be showing _Who Wants to Be a Millionaire_. "You know, humans on average use less than 30 of their brain-capacity. I can usually use 70, but after a good shag even 90. My gosh, I can't believe the bloke doesn't know the answer to that!" He pointed at the screen, on which a sweating man was contemplating whether to phone his mummy or ask the audience about the following question: _Who was Villon? A: an actor B: a poet C: a football player D: winner of Big Brother._

"So, that's why she keeps pleading with me to let her stay here?" Holly concluded. "She wants to do some 'gymnastic exercises' with you." 

"Could be." Artemis shrugged, then let out a huge groan when the man selected _C: football player_. Idiot. Failing the ? 200 question! 

In a much worse mood, Holly decided to go to bed. Artemis watched her receding figure, hiding a smile. Commander Short indeed was gullible… But if she was asking such indiscreet questions, then that was what she deserved. _Not jealous, eh? _With a satisfied grin on his face, Artemis directed his attention back to the game show, only occasionally rolling his eyes at the players' stupidity.

* * *

Patrick was sizing up the glass of slightly murky water he'd been given during the day. He licked his lips – correction: he tried to lick them, but there wasn't enough liquid left in him to salivate. His mouth had completely dried out; his stomach had compressed so small that he was sure he'd throw up if he tried to eat anything; and he was hovering on the edge of fainting. 

He had never thought he'd ever find a glass of dirty water so enticing. He could almost hear it calling out to him, pressing him to drink it…__

_I'm having hallucinations_, he thought, which was quite remarkable, since the boy was barely awake enough to form coherent thoughts. 

The glass started to sing like a siren from the Greek legends. _Drink me, drink me, Patrick!_

"No!" he shouted, and with the last bit of his strength, he kicked the glass that fell over, the drink spilling onto the stone floor. Patrick no longer saw it trickle into the floor's crevices, for he'd lost consciousness.

* * *

The last player seemed quite clever to Artemis, too bad he'd failed to answer the ?1.000.000 question on converting parsecs into light-years. Too easy for a final question, Artemis thought, switching off the TV. One parsec equals 3.26 light-years. Every idiot was supposed to know that. 

Before turning in, he decided to visit 'number four'. Opening the back door, he looked around carefully to make sure no fairies were around. He just didn't feel like wrapping himself in camouflage foil for a quick pee. 

The coast was clear. He crept out and carefully closed the back door behind himself. 

After a laughably easy victory over the computer in fairy chess, he made his way towards the building. Someone must have switched off the lights in the neighbouring garden, as the back yard was completely dark now. Hoping that he'd somehow manage to type in the entrance code even at such darkness, Artemis kept walking across the grass. Suddenly the grass disappeared from under his feet. 

Before he could even have yelped, a hand clasped over his mouth, another one holding him firmly in place.

* * *

**A/N:** the 'Villon as a football player' wasn't my idea. A stupid woman in a Hungarian reality show said she thought Villon was a football player, discrediting herself before the whole country. She was even miffed when she read in the tabloids that everyone was laughing at her. I found this incident so hilarious that I just had to write it into the fic ;)  
Review, please!  



	8. What a dwarf is good for

**Chapter 8 **

**What a dwarf is good for**

"Stop wriggling, boy and don't shout, then I'll release you," a raspy voice said.

Artemis nodded, as much as he could nod with a hand clasped firmly over his mouth. That hand released him, and he turned around, as much as he could turn around when half sunk into a hole.

"M… Mulch?" he stammered.

"That's right, Arty boy, good old Mulch," came the cheerful reply. "Sorry 'bout attacking you, but I couldn't risk to let you yelp in surprise… we don't want to attract the attention of the neighbours and Miss Shorty, eh?"

"No." Artemis smiled in the darkness. It was nice to have his devious dwarf friend back. "Of course we don't. Say, what sort of pit am I standing in?"

"Oh, that. I had to dig my way up in her Commandership's garden if I wanted to talk to you unnoticed. I've been sitting just under the surface for several hours, waiting for the right opportunity to surface."

"Waiting for me to go to the loo," Artemis concluded. "You could easily have dug a hole near the fence, then I wouldn't have fallen into it."

"Yeah, but near the fence I would have had to risk that I'd bump my head into its concrete footing… Here, let me pull you out."

Artemis felt around and grasped Mulch's outstretched hand.

"So, what exactly are you doing here?" he asked, trying to shake dirt off his suit. That unfortunate suit had gone through enough already – first he'd smeared it with marmalade, now it got all sticky with mud. He hoped that his poor Armani wouldn't be exposed to worse conditions in the near future. If he only knew…

"Well, Arty," began Mulch, his voice barely louder than a whisper, "the other day I suddenly remembered your little letter about me bringing you the coin and us becoming partners in crime… I visited Fowl Manor, but old Butler told me he had no idea where you were. We watched the recordings of the security cameras, and lo and behold, there was our Holly, giving you the news that you'd become a father…"

"… as though you didn't already know that," grunted Artemis. "You'd helped them, Mulch. You stole the-"

"I know, I know I did, and believe me, I couldn't be sorrier about it. I simply had no choice, that bloody centaur threatened to blow up the iris cam in my face if I didn't return. 'Course he might have been bluffing… but I decided not to take chances. I got back to prison but escaped, and now I'm here, ready to become your partner. If you still want me, that is."

Artemis thought for a moment. "Certainly I do, but only after I've left Haven. After this whole kidnapping business is over."

"So the kid is kidnapped, huh?" Mulch mused. "Are you sure I can't help you now? As you know, I can quite effectively break into places and free kidnapped persons…"

"True, but as long as we don't have the slightest idea _where _to look for the boy, we can't use your help either," said Artemis, careful not to refer to Patrick as 'my son'. He felt he needed quite a bit of time to come to terms with being father to this peculiar child, and he wasn't sure whether he'd ever feel like calling him 'son'. "You can't help, unless you know where one Quartz Quench is living."

"Hmm… I don't know that myself, but I know someone who might…"

"Indeed?" Artemis got intrigued. "And who is it?"

"One Miss Koboi."

* * *

Artemis switched on the lights in Holly's room. "Commander, wake up!"

She groaned into her pillow but didn't awaken. He shook her, as gently as he could. "Holly, Holly, wake up!"

"Aaaaartemis…" she whispered, a smile spreading on her face.

Normally Artemis would have been amused to see her smile while muttering his name in her sleep, but this was no time for him to feel amused. With a quick move, he yanked the blanket off her.

The result was instant: she sat bolt upright, but her eyes were still half closed. "What the heck do you think you're doing at… at…" She glanced bleary-eyed at the clock on her bedside table, "…half past one?"

"You've got to talk to someone, Commander. Urgently."

All the sleepiness disappeared from her face to be replaced by excitement. "Have they found Patrick? Or a clue? Who is it? Trouble?"

"No." Artemis shook his head. "Someone whom you don't like as much as you _like Trouble_…"

Had Holly not been so excited, she would have remarked 'jealous, Mud Boy?', but this time she decided against it. She hopped out of bed, into her troll-hair slippers. "Who is it, then?"

"Wait and you'll see."

Holly found it highly suspicious that Artemis was leading her into the back garden, but by the time it occurred to her that she should have brought her helmet and her Neutrino, they were already standing in the garden.

"So, who is it?" demanded Holly, barely able to see beyond the end of her nose.

"Just me, good old Mulch Diggums," came the quiet answer.

"Diggums!" breathed Holly, making a move to return into her flat and grab her blaster, but Artemis caught her arm.

"Just hear him out, Commander," he suggested. "He's unarmed, so you don't need firearms either."

"Very well, then." Holly folded her arms as threateningly as she could, though she was sure that the convict couldn't see more of her than her outline. Or perhaps not even that. "Give me one good reason not to arrest you right away."

"That's easy: you don't have your Neutrino with you, Holly dear. Also, I can jump into this nice hole I've dug and disappear before you could do anything. Besides: I have information you might find invaluable... it might help find your son, you know. Well, that's already three reasons."

"And what is that invaluable information?"

The dwarf chuckled. "You don't think I'd give you the information out of the goodness of my heart?"

Holly's eyes narrowed. "What do you want in return?"

"Well, let's see…" Mulch's voice trailed off, as though he was deep in thought, but Artemis was a hundred percent sure that his dwarf friend had decided what to ask of Holly while he was trying to wake her up.

"You, as a LEP Commander, have power," said the dwarf finally. "Make sure I get cleared of all charges and pardoned in public, and then I'll tell you what I know."

"Cleared of all charges?" Holly hissed.

"Why not? After all, all I did was steal someone's credit card…"

"Yeah, and another hundred and thirteen crimes before that," Holly pointed out.

"I was cleared of those! All of them!" Mulch reminded her.

"Wonder how…" Holly mused.

Artemis felt his mouth tuck into a grin. As though she had felt it (she'd obviously not seen it in the darkness), Holly turned to Artemis. "Was it you, Fowl?"

"_Me? _What?" replied the young man theatrically. "Your suspicion is wounding. I'm completely innocent, Commander."

"Innocent Artemis Fowl…" Holly said gruffly. "That's an oxymoron."

"Who's the moron?" Mulch cut in. "I hope you weren't referring to me!"

Holly took a deep breath to calm herself. "So, Diggums, you expect me to break all the rules and pull a few strings… to… to become _corruptible_?" she whispered, but even in a whisper, her voice sounded scandalised. Although there wasn't any movement in the neighbourhood, she couldn't risk anyone overhearing them.

"Well spotted, Commander," Mulch replied just as quietly as she had.

"What do I get in return? How can I be sure that your 'invaluable information' is worth my breaking the rules and risking my position in the LEP?"

"I think it indeed is worth the risk," Artemis said. "The little bloke seems to know something that might help us find Patrick and save the People."

"Exactly, Commander," Mulch sounded very agreeable. "On that recording in Artemis's room, you seemed quite desperate to save your son and the People. I can help."

"I still don't know whether I should believe you or not," replied Holly.

"I'm telling the truth, your Commandership. You have my word."

She rolled her eyes. "Of course. As though Mulch Diggums' word could be trusted…"

"I take that as an insult," said the dwarf.

"It _was_ intended to be an insult," replied Holly. "All right. Fowl trusts you, and I can't do anything else but trust his judgement. Come on in, Diggums."

"I get pardoned, then?" Mulch asked expectantly.

The Commander heaved a huge sigh. "I'll see what I can do."

Rubbing his hands together, the dwarf followed the elf and the Mud Man into the flat.

_

* * *

_

_Drip. Drip. Drip._

Something was dripping. Close to him. Very close. It sounded like water dripping from a glass bottle.

Opening his eyes, he squinted upwards, in the direction the dripping sound was coming from.

He'd been right: there was some bottle-like thing whose end was attached to a narrow, transparent tube.

His eyes followed the tube until he saw the tube end in a needle. That needle was stuck into his arm. Light lilac liquid was slowly flowing through the tube, into his vein.

_Lilac liquid._

"D'Arvit," he whispered.

"Well, well, well, we are awake," said an unpleasant voice. He'd heard that voice before. Only once, but he'd heard it.

"Quench," the boy muttered, although he couldn't see his captor.

"In person," replied the fairy, stepping to the boy's bed, into his field of vision. "Aren't you a bit happy to see me?"

"Not when you're forcing Obedience Serum into me," hissed Patrick.

"Sorry about that, boy. I had no choice. Had you been a good boy and eaten your meals, I wouldn't have had to resort to sticking a needle into your arm. But you'd been playing the little self-sacrificing hero and chose to starve to death! I couldn't let that happen, so as soon as you lost consciousness I had you brought here, into the medic bay."

"The medic bay of what?" asked the boy.

"Oh, young Mr Short is gaining his strength back – he's already too curious!" laughed Quartz.

Patrick felt rage surge through him. How dare this idiot laugh at him?

With a swift move he yanked the needle out of his arm. Blood squirted from his arm, drenching the bedcovers. He quickly grabbed a wad of gauze from the bedside table and pressed it over the tiny wound.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk." Quartz shook his head. "A bit too quick-tempered, aren't we, my young friend?"

"I'm NOT your friend," replied Patrick defiantly, trying to stop the blood-flow. Being better at biology than his university professor had been, he was well aware that he'd have black-and-blue spots around the wound. A needle wasn't supposed to be yanked out, but hell, he'd been furious! His Fowl-self was berating himself for hot headedness, while the Short in him thirsted for hurting this Quench character as much as possible. Too bad his captor's two gnome bodyguards were standing by the door, fully armed…

"Not my friend?" The deformed fairy's eyes glinted with amusement behind his steel mask. "Are you sure? Don't you _want to_ become my friend?"

"No, I don't!" spat Patrick, turning away from him; dreading, but already knowing what was to come.

"You're gravely mistaken, boy. You _want to_ become my friend. You want to…"

Patrick squeezed his eyes shut, wishing for the impossible: to be able to resist the effect of the Obedience Serum. A childhood reading flashed through his mind – it was about a wizard boy called Harry Potter. This boy had been pelted with Imperius Curses, yet he managed to withstand them, managed to fight them off… Patrick wished he could be as strong as this imaginary boy had been… But no, Obedience Serum worked differently than magic. It attacked your cells and stimulated you from inside. There was no fighting it down.

"Say you want to become my friend. Say it, Patrick…"

The boy bit into his lower lip so hard it started to bleed. It was no use. He couldn't make his mouth not move and not form those words. Before he knew, he was repeating that line as though his life depended on it. "I want to be your friend, I want to, I want to…"

With each word he felt more and more relieved. His body was filled with some pleasant sensation – it felt like lying on the sun at a beach, having a pretty elf girl gently massage his back and shoulders. It was a wondrous feeling to obey. Wondrous - but only in body. In soul he couldn't have felt worse. His soul wanted to scream, howl with agony… he was being robbed of the most sacred right of a sentient being: the right of making his own decisions. Now Quench was making his decisions for him, and no doubt Quench's next decision would be that Patrick make him the substance to turn him into a Mud Man replica.

"See, you can be a good boy, Patrick." Quartz patted young Short on the shoulder.

Feeling abused, Patrick looked away, a single tear running down his cheek.

* * *

"I can't believe I'm here, sitting opposite you, convict, and not having the chance to shackle you!" growled Julius Root, who had started chain-smoking when Holly had told him about Mulch's arrival over the videophone. He was currently on his sixth fungus cigar and it was barely past three in the morning.

"Grin and bear it, Julius." The dwarf sent the onetime commander a cheeky smile.

"Don't call me…!" Root began, only to be silenced by a wave of Holly's hand.

"This is not the time to bicker, Julius. Please. Let's hear him out, he might prove to be useful."

"Yeah, as useful as a Softnose against a troll," Root murmured under his breath.

"So," Artemis spoke up before Mulch could make another snide remark, "Mulch says he knows something that we might find interesting. About this Quench character. Mulch, enlighten us, please."

The dwarf stood up and straightened his back to look as important as possible. "Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for your attention. I'm deeply moved by the opportunity to-"

"Diggums, to the point," Holly said.

"Right." Mulch made a grimace. For a second everyone's eyes widened in horror, because most of the time when they'd seen Mulch's face tuck into a grimace, the next thing that came was a tremendous burst of dwarf gas.

Not this time, though.

Seeing the five listeners' (Artemis's, Holly's, Foaly's, Root's and Juliet's) horrified expressions, the grimace disappeared from Mulch's face to be replaced by an amused grin. His listeners heaved a sigh of relief. Had Mulch been in a mood of tricking them, he would have released some gases now that everyone had let their guard down. However, it was already 3rd April and it wouldn't have been stylish to trick anyone two days after April Fool's Day, now, would it? Anyway, it was enough of satisfaction for the dwarf to see Root coughing uncontrollably, as he'd almost swallowed his fungus cigar in the fright over the possible gas-burst; and was now trying to spit it out.

Juliet amicably patted Root's back while Mulch cleared his throat.

"As Artemis mentioned, I can help you. At least I believe I can. While I was at Howler's Peak – by the way, thanks for getting me out of there, Julius, - once I was approached by this pretty blonde pixie called Opal Koboi…"

"Opal?" hissed Foaly. "I should have known! That little bitch has a finger in every pie…"

"Would you please shut up?" Holly sent him a scolding stare. "What did Opal do, Diggums?"

"As I said, she came to me and sort of… started to chat." Mulch shrugged. "At first she seemed to be totally casual and talked about everything from stink worms to blue rinses, but as she thought she was gaining my trust, her questions started to become more specific… I must tell that at that point I had no idea who she was, I learned her name later – just so that you won't start accusing me of giving information to the enemy…"

"I promise we won't." Holly stifled a yawn. She didn't know how she'd manage to stay awake all day after this night... She longed to be in her soft, warm bed again, among her silk pillows; and longed to continue dreaming that pleasant dream in which Artemis… _Snap out of it!_ – a voice in her sleepy head screamed at her. Acknowledging the voice, she heaved a sigh. "Go on, Diggums."

"Yeah, so, as I said, her questions gradually became more specific, like, who was that Mud Woman I once mentioned having worked for, and things like that…"

"You _told_ the prisoners that you had worked for Carla Frazetti?" Artemis asked.

Mulch looked slightly embarrassed, but only for a second. "Might've slipped my mouth… and this Koboi chick, she has a good memory and remembered that and asked me questions about it."

"What sort of questions?" interjected Root.

"Well, you know, how long I had worked for Frazetti, where exactly does she live, what sort of person is she, is she power-hungry or rather greedy… I think these were the only questions Opal asked…"

"And you were stupid enough to answer them, I take," Holly said, rubbing her eyes. Next to her, Juliet was in a half-slumber.

"Weeeeell…" Mulch shuffled his feet. "Well, yeah." Upon seeing the others' scowls, he heaved a theatrical sigh. "Come on, how could I have known who she was? 'Course it never occurred to me that this blonde angel might want that information for evil ends… To tell you the truth, I _still_ don't know why she needed that information…"

"This is all very touching, Mulch, but I don't see the connection," Holly pointed out. "What does Opal and her suspicious questions have to do with Quartz Quench? I fear I will have to break my promise, because you haven't given us any useful information."

"Hey, hey, hold your centaurs, your Commandership!" Mulch held up his hands.

"Hold your _what_, exactly?" Foaly scowled at him.

"Old saying, pony boy." The dwarf waved. "The point is that there IS a connection between Opal and Quench."

"What sort of?" asked Artemis.

"Believe it or not, this Quench bloke is none other than dear Opal's little brother."

"Her… brother?" Root almost choked on his cigar for the second time in three minutes.

"Yup." The dwarf nodded.

"How come there are absolutely no records on their relation?" Foaly folded his arms with the air of a hurt genius. Diggums here was suggesting that the centaur had screwed up at trying to gather information on Quench's family and location. And Foaly _never _screwed up. The mere assumption was a horrible insult!

"Simple, pony boy," replied Mulch. "The Kobois kept his existence a secret. Why? I don't know, but I'm sure Opal does."

"How do you know of this? Did Opal tell you in person?" Root wondered.

"Of course not." Mulch shook his head. "I heard it from one of the jailers. He'd been the one to accompany this Quench character to Opal's cell at the last solstice and caught a couple of words of their talk. Certainly the jailers aren't allowed to eavesdrop on the prisoners and their visitors, but he couldn't help hearing Quench greeting Opal as 'dear sister' as he closed the door…"

"Well-kept secrets getting revealed by an over-talkative jailer… how ironic," Artemis remarked.

Holly looked at him, as if waiting for his assessment. "So, what do you think?"

"What do _you_ think, Commander?" Artemis countered.

"I believe a visit to Howler's Peak is in order," Holly concluded.

* * *

Opal had sunk into lethargy. It must have been about two months ago that her brother had last paid her a visit and she'd given him the required information she'd managed to get from that braggart Diggums. Diggums' story had been slightly weird, full of 'plot holes' – from what the dwarf had told her, it seemed that he'd been working for the Antonellis for a while, and then he suddenly stopped working for them. Opal had asked him why he'd stopped, but Diggums refused to tell her. The truth was that Mulch hadn't remembered the whole 'kidnapping Artemis Fowl the Second' mission, since Foaly had wiped all Artemis-related memories from his mind.

Even in this full-of-plot-holes state, Diggums' story of the Antonellis sounded useful enough to Opal, and even more useful to her brother. She perfectly remembered the devilish smirk on the small not-covered-by-the-mask part of Quartz's face when she'd told him about Carla Frazetti and her family.

"_Why this immense happiness, Quasimodo?" she asked him._

_Ignoring the nickname, he gave her an even wider smile. "You're saying these Antonellis are a mafia clan obsessed with money, dear sister. And that's exactly what I'll use to persuade them to help me…"_

"_Hardly," Opal had remarked coldly. "As far as I know, all your money is kept in Haven State Bonds and various shares, and I doubt that Mud Men would be interested in becoming share-holders in fairy companies. If you had your money in unmarked bars of fairy gold, then perhaps they'd be interested, but this way…"_

"_Think you're so clever, do you, sister?" Quartz told her. "Guess what? You're not half as clever as you think you are. True that I keep my money in bonds that can't be sold before their expiry, but what I want to pay these Mud People with, isn't my own money."_

"_No?" The once pretty pixie raised a dirty blonde eyebrow at her brother._

"_No. It's Aztec gold."_

Opal kept replaying this scene in her brilliant mind, but couldn't find out what her brother had been referring to. How on earth could he get Aztec gold to pay the Antonellis? What was he planning anyway? Why did he need a Mud Man contact?

She was sure that whatever the case, her brother was planning something really, really nasty. And, as the time passed, she began to think that he had fooled her into helping him. It had been two bloody months since his last visit and she was still rotting in here! Her darned brother had promised to pull a few strings and get her out of here sooner than she could say LEPrecon, but now she had to realise that she had been used.

It even occurred to her to ask for a visit from the prison's principal and tell him that one Quartz Quench was planning something nasty… perhaps the LEP would round him up before he could execute his plan. Revenge would be sweet…

However, Opal couldn't bring herself to squeal on her brother, because a little voice in her head kept reminding her that perhaps – just perhaps – it took her brother a bit more time to get her out of here than he'd expected. It was possible that he was trying very hard to free her…

The old Opal would never have believed in Quartz's good intentions, but years spent at Howler's Peak did that to a fairy – they became softer, more vulnerable, more gullible… they held onto the thinnest lifeline just to keep going, they deluded themselves that they'd be free soon…

Not that Opal was going crazy – not yet, anyway. She was just desperate. Thus, she couldn't have been more elated to find out that she got visitors at such a desperate hour. _He's come to free me!_ – the thought flashed through her mind before the door of her cell opened. However, when she spotted her visitors, her face fell. These were the two people whom she least expected ever seeing again, let alone in her dingy little cell.

Julius Root and Holly Short.

* * *

Artemis was angry. He wanted to go with Holly and Root to Howler's Peak to be the 'voice of reason'. He told the young Commander that very likely no one knew as much psychology as he did, so he'd be the best person to persuade Miss Koboi to spill the beans about her secret brother. Holly, however, had been relentless. _"You've got to stay and carry on with the antidote project, Mr Fowl_," she had told him coolly. _"Also, Howler's Peak is a top security institute. You can't go in there in a camouflage foil, and I doubt the jailers would happily let Mud Men into the building." _

The worst was that she had a point. Artemis didn't like it when others were right and not him. It felt humiliating. Not to mention that he'd never seen a fairy prison and he was dying to see the security measures taken there. He wondered whether it was any better than Jon Spiro's in the Spiro Needle…

Sighing, he dropped himself into an armchair to look through the remainder of Patrick's notes. It was hard to concentrate, though, with Mulch and Juliet loudly bickering in the living room.

Reading his son's notes, Artemis couldn't help letting his mind wander a bit. It kept occurring to him what the boy could be doing now; what his kidnappers could be doing to him and what would happen if they managed to free him any time soon. He didn't even know how to greet the boy… Scenario after scenario ran through his mind, but all of them seemed stupid and beneath Artemis Fowl the Second's dignity. In one of them Holly introduced him to the boy, but the imaginary Patrick in Artemis's head only made a grimace and said: "So, this is the Mud Man you used as the donor?" In another one it was Artemis who introduced himself to Patrick. For some reason his imaginary self had a deep and hissing voice and talked in a slightly choppy way: "Patrick. I. Am. Your. Father." Artemis shuddered. He'd never liked Star Wars, except for Senator Palpatine. Now that was a brilliantly devious plotter – a character after Artemis's own heart.

The worst scenario included himself opening his arms and gathering the boy into a fatherly embrace. He almost dropped the notes. Where the hell did that idea come from?

He directed his attention back to the Project, hoping to have this whole bloody affair over with and have his calm businessman life back. Had he known that the rest of his life would be as far from calm and normal as possible, he would have grabbed Juliet and run towards the nearest shuttle port…

* * *

Patrick's hands were working automatically, his mind providing him with the necessary information and suppressing thoughts like 'what the heck am I doing? I shouldn't be doing this!'. The Obedience Serum had had its effect on him, and he knew he'd be under it for at least another few days until it completely got washed out of his body. He had been working on the Substance for hours now and as the time progressed he got more and more used to being obedient and it caused him less and less guilt by every passing minute.

He had to give it to Quench – the laboratory he had been provided with was the best and most well-equipped he'd ever seen. His captor had very clearly been planning his kidnap well before he'd executed it. Patrick wished half of the equipments could be his after he returned home… then, as if a needle had pricked his heart, he was reminded that he might not get home. Ever.

Here he was, exposed to a raving maniac, unable to refuse to 'help' the maniac with his evil plans, whatever they were. And what the worst was: he was unable to tell his opinion of Quench's mental state, although it could have filled several books. Perhaps he'd write one if he got home… _if_ he got home at all.


	9. Shocking news

**Author's note: I would like to ask everyone _not to_ urge me with updating. I'm a university student with loads of homeworks, presentations and tests every week, and most of the time I feel I don't even have time to breath, let alone update. Please keep this in mind and be satisfied with one chapter per week. I _can't _update any quicker.**

Unfortunately I didn't manage to make superscripts and subscripts visible, because ffnet simply ignores these sort of formattings. So just imagine that the 'formula' mentioned by Patrick has the numbers as subscripts.

**Disclaimer: **the same as in chapter one, plus: Sidney Fox is a character from the TV series Relic Hunter, so I obviously don't own her. 

_Mistri, Tonks' Admirer_: I'm not underestimating myself, I'm just worried that the readers might get bored (one of my proofreaders pointed it out to me that chapters 6-10 were quite boring). What's with Villon using the whole chicken? Must be some joke that I don't understand... I think Holly/Juliet is still more tolerable than Arty/Butler. The Obedience Serum cannot be resisted. And Patrick isn't Harry to resist something like that ;) 

_suga Crazie_: I think it's quite obvious that this fic has/will have an Arty/Holly pairing. 

_C-chan1_: now that you wrote it, it's possible that I sub-consciously took the 'obeying is a good feeling' thing from Ella Enchanted. I haven't even realised it ;) You're right about the sentient being thing, I'm going to change that. Dunno if I have flash on my computer. I saw Potter Puppets long ago, that must've been the first one. I liked it a lot. (Let's bother Snape - LOL). 

_septempopuli:_ don't worry about Holly's health, the troll hair is disinfected and softened before it gets made into a slipper. 

_Yuffie Paine_: just let me give you a clue: all of my fics have had a happy ending so far. Why wouldn't this one have one? ;) 

_neutralgal:_ I founded an Artemis Fowl fanart community on deviantart (see its url in my bio). There you can see almost 50 AF arts, and about 20 of them are mine (dunno if you've seen all of my AF arts in my gallery, some of them might have avoided your attention). Glad you like my Holly, I like her too - she's my fav character, and the most fun to draw. Especially in weird clothing like in 'Holly the bride' or 'Unlikely Holly Short' ;) 

_Ahava_: you're glad there isn't any /stuff/ in it? What stuff? You mean sex? 

_trohS-ylloH: _certainly you may save some of my arts. Glad you like them. I didn't paint the pics, I draw their outlines with pencil and colour them in PhotoShop (I couldn't paint with watercolours if my life depended on it!) 

_BeatlesLover_: I've been following the 'updating once a week' routine for years, and it's fine by me, not boring at all. And at least this way the readers know when to expect a new chapter. This fic is shorter than my HP ones, only 21 chapters. But in pages it's just as long as The Greatest Scandal (about 200 pages). How do I come up with fantastic lines? Dunno. They just come to my mind, and I jot them down to use them later. Sometimes I collect funny lines for chapters that I know I will only write months later ;) My native tongue is Hungarian, not French. I know that the first two parts of my HP trilogy had quite a few grammar mistakes and typos, but I didn't have a beta for those, so there was no one to correct me. 

_Epsilon2Delta_: don't worry, in a couple of chapters Arty will be in denial too. He needs a little more time than Holly does, but I'm going to torture his stuck-up little soul as well ;) Your guessing for this chapter was quite close. Not spot on, but quite close. As for the revelation - close too, but I bet you didn't expect it the exact way I did it ;) 

_Marfbag_: I don't remember which fic I was talking about, but surely not Folly. 

_DarkFlower2113:_ ffnet has been neglecting author alerts for a while, so that's why you never got an update notice. Yes, it was Arty who cleared Mulch of his criminal record. It was mentioned at the end of Eternity Code. He hacked into Foaly's LEP archieve and changed some things about Mulch. 

_Mis Piratess:_ what's a YI lit class? About you and Patrick having a one night-stand... er... he's only twelve, do you know that? ;) 

_greeengood_: I agree: Arty as a human and Holly as an elf can't get together because their height-difference. But usually I find a way to solve petty problems such as these;) Just wait it out, and you won't find the solution sick at all. 

_sophianwin:_ the bad thing that was made 'silver' was the fact that Artemis had moved into Holly's home. Holly regarded it as a bad thing. No idea whether I'd write any future HP fics, but if I do, then I might mention Artemis in them ;) 

_Natdreamer_: no, Arty and Holly won't have sex in this fic. 

_EvilSpirit_: I don't even know what l.a. is. 

_kissimi-crazy_: don't worry, Arty and Holly WILL be friends again (and even more than that). Sorry, no time-machine in the fic. 

Also thanks to: _El Shabang, tania15, animezebra, Lady Emerald Black, technogirl, WackedOutPet13, Xaris the Fish, the Cherri Ookami, Holly Rox, StarLightKagome, CrazyInsanity, Artymaster, The OddBird, Nescafé, roastpuff, Midreamer, luckyducky7too, Crescent Fresh, Milette Tails Prower, TrunkZy_

* * *

**Chapter 9******

**Shocking news**  
  
"Yes, he _is_ my brother," Opal said vaguely. "There's no point in trying to deny it, that idiot is my relative. But I doubt you two have come here only to ask me whether Quartz was indeed my brother." She shot Holly and Root a challenging look. "You want something else, don't you?" 

Holly nodded. "We have a good reason to believe that your brother kidnapped my son. We want to get him back." 

"I never knew you had a son," replied the pixie. "And you're still called _Short_? You haven't got married, then? Tsk, tsk, tsk…" 

"My marital status isn't your business, Koboi," snapped the commander. "The point is that my son is missing." 

"And?" Opal raised an eyebrow at the other woman. "I have nothing to do with him." 

"We want you to tell us everything you know about your brother. His possible hiding places, all his dubious enterprises, his defences, absolutely everything." 

Opal's eyes narrowed. "And what do I get in return?" 

"As I expected," Root heaved a sigh, turning to Holly. "I told you she wouldn't help us out of the goodness of her heart." 

"Of course I won't. Especially because I don't have a heart," the pixie said. "If you want information from me, you have to pay the price." 

"Right." Holly sighed. "A hundred years off your sentence." 

"Three hundred," Opal bargained. 

"One hundred and fifty." 

"Two hundred!" 

"One hundred and seventy-five, and that's my last offer," Holly answered. 

Opal made a grimace. Well, one hundred and seventy-five years was still better than none at all. Especially because she grew more and more convinced by the second that her brother had indeed fooled her. If little Commander Short here could get her any closer to freedom, then she had to accept her conditions. "All right. But I must tell you that I have no idea where Quartz is staying. He never told me and I never asked. As for the defences, as far as I know, he has a few gnome guards, but not many.  
They couldn't stand a chance against the whole LEP. However…" 

"However what?" The young commander knitted her eyebrows. 

"It is possible that the LEP will have to fight a bunch of heavily armed Mud Men if they plan to attack Quartz in the near future..." 

"You mean the Mud Man contact that your brother needed?" asked Root. 

"Yeah." Opal pretended to be very interested in her fingernails. 

"Why did he need those Mud Men?" 

Opal didn't look at her visitors and kept staring at her fingernails, as though they were the most wondrous sight ever. In fact, they were dirty, far from the well-manicured ones the pixie used to have as the head of Koboi Labs. 

"So?" Holly's voice rose in pitch. The pixie's nonchalant behaviour was driving her crazy, although she knew well enough that that was exactly what Opal was aiming at. 

"So," said Miss Koboi, "you will put it in writing that my sentence is shortened by 175 years. You'll make two copies of it.  
Give one to the principal of Howler's Peak and send the other to my lawyer. I want it to be in good hands, Commander.  
Really…" She gave Holly a derisive smirk, "how on earth did you become commander?" 

"I was the ablest for the job," replied Holly. 

"Then the others must have been really pathetic," Opal remarked. 

"I must remind you that insulting a LEP commander-" began Root, only to be silenced by a wave of Opal's hand. 

"Keep your hair on, Root. I didn't want to insult anyone, I was merely… observing things. Will you do what I asked for, Commander?" 

"I will," Holly sighed. Today definitely wasn't her day. Opal was the second convict that day Holly had promised not-exactly-legal allowances to. If this ever got to the Council's ears…! "And now, Koboi, do tell us why your brother needed that Mud Man contact." 

Opal leaned back against the cold stone wall of her cell. "I'm not familiar with his whole plan, Commander. All I know is that he's a bitter person who has been mistreated by every single fairy who ever saw his features. He's deformed, you know," she added, seeing the confusion on both Holly and Root's faces. "And he's vindictive. I really don't know what he's planning, but it must have something to do with taking revenge on the People…" 

"What makes you be so sure? Isn't it possible that he wants to use Mud Men to get himself more money?" wondered Root. 

"Money?" Opal let out a shrill laugh. "He has more of it than you could possibly imagine! He's getting richer and richer every day. Nooo, my brother wants something else. Something that only Mud Men can help him with." 

"But… taking revenge on the People?" Holly shook her head. "I don't understand. How could he take revenge on the People with the help of Mud Men?" 

"I don't know." Opal shrugged. "But some Aztec gold is involved." 

"Aha!" Root yelped. "So it IS about gold, after all!" 

The pixie rolled her eyes in a way that suggested 'I'm surrounded by idiots'. "No, it isn't. At least not for Quartz. He doesn't need that gold. He only wants to pay the Mud People with that gold. Before you ask _how_ he got hold of or plans to get hold of Aztec gold – I have absolutely no idea." 

"The problem," Holly said under her breath, "is that we don't know much about the Aztecs. Surely Foaly could get stuff about them from the Internet, but we need someone who really knows things about them. Someone who can make the connection between Aztec gold and Quench's possible plans for taking revenge on the People." 

"Do we know one?" Julius smiled in a knowing way. 

"I think we do." Holly smiled back. "But he has to meet Koboi and question her himself. I doubt he could draw the conclusion from the information-fragments he can get from us, since Koboi hasn't told us much." 

"Keep talking as though I weren't here at all," Opal interrupted in a sarcastic voice. 

"But we can't bring him here, Holly," Root said, ignoring Opal's comment. 

"I know," the commander replied. "But we can get her out of here." 

"Me?" Opal's eyes widened and a huge smile spread on her face. 

"Don't start rejoicing, Koboi, it's not for good. I'll talk to the Principal to release you temporarily. And before you get any ideas, we'll ask Foaly to give you one of his famous iris cams." 

"Iris cams?" Opal made a belittling grimace. She had never thought much of the centaurs' iris cams. They were nothing compared to her fantabulous Koboi Double-Dex. 

"Yes, there's a new one that you have surely not heard of yet." Holly allowed herself a small yet triumphant smile. "Only Foaly can remove it from your eyes and if he doesn't do it within a set time, it explodes in your face." 

"Oh," Opal said, slightly paling. Then again, she was a technical genius like Foaly himself. There was no way she couldn't deal with a pathetic iris cam constructed by a pony! "Well then, let's go. I'm prepared to meet your friend and give him an interview… but really, I don't know much more than what I already told you." 

"We'll see," said the commander. "Come on, Koboi."

* * *

"Ready," Patrick announced, sullenly eyeing the ruby red solution in the conical flask. He'd done it. Against his own will, but he'd done it - the Project was finished. For a second he closed his eyes, imagining what it would have been like to say the same words to the Council, presenting them the completed substance. They would have been clapping and giving him an award for sure. Quartz Quench on the other hand… 

Patrick opened his eyes to look at the deformed fairy whose eyes were glinting greedily behind his steely mask. He was rubbing his hands together excitedly. "Wonderful, my boy, wonderful! And now, we are going to test it." 

"Go ahead," drawled Patrick. "Can't wait to see you as an ugly Mud Man instead of an ugly fairy. Perhaps height-change will do good to that bent back of yours." 

Ignoring the sarcasm in the boy's words, Quartz grabbed the conical flask. "You'll see that soon, boy. But the first tester will be someone else… just in case you… _screwed something up_." 

Young Short heaved a theatrical sigh. "You can be sure I didn't screw anything up. I'm the best bloody Biochemist under the face of earth, and with the Obedience Serum flowing through my veins; I couldn't even have bungled it up intentionally. It's completely safe. It's _perfect_." 

"Yes, I believe you that you believe it to have worked perfectly, but forgive me for having doubts. It's just that we are living in a dangerous world, boy. Too dangerous to ever feel safe. So go ahead, take a gulp of your own famous substance." 

"Sorry to disappoint you, but I can't," replied Patrick. 

"And may I ask why not?" Quartz's eyes narrowed. The boy was playing with him again, and he hated being played with. 

"That's simple. It won't work for me, because I'm not a pureblood fairy." Certainly Patrick could have prepared the substance in a way that it would have worked for half-fairies as well, but having to prepare the substance for this lunatic Quench, he decided to make it only usable on pureblood fairies. Patrick didn't want to give Quench any ideas of experimenting on him. 

"Not a pureblood fairy?" 

"No." The boy shook his head. "Ever wondered why I'm considerably taller than the average? Ever wondered why my ears are less pointy and my face paler than the average? My father is a Mud Man." 

Quartz's eyes widened in surprise. "So. A Mud Man. That's really interesting, you know…" 

"I'd rather call it disturbing." Patrick shrugged. "But it's not something I can change. I've learnt to live with it and accept it. You too should learn to accept yourself the way you are." His deep blue eyes looked directly into the fairy's murky brown ones.  
"Accept it, Mr Quench, and let go of your plans of destroying the fairies. It's no use at all, and in the end you'll only regret it." 

"Psychological warfare doesn't affect me at all, boy!" snapped Quartz. "No use trying to awaken my dormant conscience, for it's _not dormant_ – it doesn't exist at all! The fairies killed it, long ago! They killed it with their cold-heartedness, mocking words and ignorance! It's dead, you hear me?" 

Patrick observed the tiny part of Quench's face that wasn't hidden by the mask and saw it reddening with every passing second. What almost shocked him was that Quench's eyes seemed to be watering. Could those be tears? Real tears? From a monster like this? 

Patrick gulped, a new feeling engulfing him: he realised he was sorry for this pathetic man. 

"Right, so you can't be the tester, eh?" Quartz wheezed. "Then we are going to try it on one of my guards. Hey, Reed, come here!" 

Young Short saw the blaster in the gnome's hand quiver. "A…are you sure you want me to test it, sir?" stammered Reed. 

"Completely, old boy. You have the great honour of trying this brilliant solution and being the first ever fairy to look like a Mud Man." 

"But what if I don't want to look like a Mud Man?" whimpered the guard. 

Patrick rolled his eyes. This Quench character should have chosen his guards better. Reed reminded him too much of Grub Kelp… 

"I'm going to double your wage for this month and add danger money, how does that sound?" said Quartz. 

The gnome seemed to consider the offer. He looked just as stupid when thinking as Chix Verbil. "Double wage, danger money, and a pretty sum to my wife and seven children if I pass away," he replied finally. Perhaps he wasn't as stupid as he looked, Patrick thought. 

"Deal." Quench nodded. 

With slightly shaking hands, the guard grabbed the conical flask and filled a small glass with the ruby red liquid. "Cheers," he said and downed the substance. 

In the next instant he dropped the glass he was holding and doubled over. 

"What… what have you done to him?" Quartz hissed at Patrick. The boy waved his captor to silence and pointed at the gnome who was now on all fours, his whole body convulsing. Suddenly he started to change. Arms and legs elongated, making the clothes rip; skin turned to a lighter shade and pointy ears transformed into oval ones. After the last tremor had run through his body, he fell facedown to the floor, seemingly unconscious. Patrick, Quartz and the other guard took a few steps in the sprawled fairy's direction. 

Patrick felt as though his heart were beating in his throat and cold sweat-drops trickled down his forehead. What if the guard had died? Then it'd be his fault! No, he told himself, the substance wasn't dangerous; the guard couldn't have died! 

Then the gnome stirred. He slowly turned over, squinting blearily up at the others. No doubt, his once gnome-like face was that of a human now, no Mud Man on earth could have told he was another species. 

"Bravo, kid, you did it." Quartz gave Patrick an appreciative look. 

"I told you I did." Young Short folded his arms before his chest. "I'm a genius, after all." 

However, Quench no longer listened to him, for he was already at the table, pouring himself a glassful of the substance. He brought the glass to his lips, but suddenly lowered it. "We haven't even given your little invention a name." 

"I call it H3OCS4N2Ca," said Patrick in a bored sort of way. 

"What?" Quench blinked. 

"Call it whatever you want. What do I care?" replied Patrick. But in fact, he did care. And not for the name of his invention, but for its future and that of the People. What would happen if this lunatic turned into a Mud Man replica and used this advantage to wreak havoc on the fairies' world? 

"I know! I'm going to call it MMM!" Quench announced solemnly. 

"MMM, sir?" the newly transformed fairy raised an eyebrow at his master. 

"Stands for Mud Man Maker." Quartz grinned. 

"Brilliant." Patrick rolled his eyes; then turned away. He'd rather not watch this raving maniac turn into a human. It was hard enough for him to bear the though of it, even without seeing it happen. He felt guilt beyond anything he'd ever felt before. His Short-self wouldn't have minded feeling guilt, but the Fowl in him suffered terribly from it.

* * *

"So, how are you proceeding?" Foaly asked from Artemis, leaning into the doorframe between Patrick's room and the living room. 

Artemis was bent over a microscope, deeply immersed in analysing some greenish liquid between two slides. The table around the microscope was packed with measuring cylinders, test tubes, various pipettes, and such 'stone age' things as a mortar and a pestle. High tech laboratory or not, even fairies resorted to the simplest and oldest objects used in chemistry. 

"Quite well," Artemis murmured, not even looking up. 

"What exactly does 'quite well' mean?" wondered the centaur. "Does it mean 'ready in two days' or 'ready in a month'?" 

"Ready in a few hours if over-talkative ponies leave me alone," came the answer. 

Foaly wasn't the type of person to let anyone insult him and get away without a snappy comeback from him; but Artemis's announcement that he'd be ready with the antidote in a matter of hours surprised him too much to return the insult. When he finally managed to think of a good enough comeback and opened his mouth to say it, the front door of the Short Apartment opened and a little group of three fairies marched in. 

Foaly thought he'd die on the spot. There she was: dirty, wearing black and white striped jail-rags, but looking as haughty as ever. 

Opal Koboi. 

"Why did you bring _her_?" he hissed at Holly and Root. 

"Good day to you too, pony boy," said Opal in an unpleasant tone. 

Hearing the commotion coming from the living room, Mulch and Juliet stuck their heads out of the kitchen. 

"Why if it isn't Miss Koboi!" whistled the dwarf. Opal gave him a supercilious glance and took place on the sofa. 

"You're dirtying the sofa, sweetie," remarked Mulch, pointing at the pixie's filthy rags. 

"Firstly: I'm not sweetie to you. Secondly: I doubt I could dirty it more than a dwarf could," answered Opal, sleeking her matted blond hair. "But if Her Commandership doesn't mind, I'd gladly take a shower. And I could use a few clean clothes as well." 

"The blue door over there," Holly pointed at the bathroom door. "Be short, Koboi. And don't even think of escaping through the air vent. You know what? Juliet will accompany you and make sure you don't evaporate under our noses. And don't even think of _mesmerising_ her!" 

"A Mud Girl?" Opal grimaced at Juliet, not having the slightest idea what a Mud Person was doing down here. "Why not ask the dwarf to watch over me, then? It wouldn't be much worse than having filthy Mud People around." 

"I wouldn't mind watching over her, you know…" Mulch grinned at Holly. 

"No. Juliet will keep an eye on her. I'll look for something she can wear," replied the commander and disappeared into her room. 

Fifteen minutes later a completely different Opal exited the bathroom: her skin was rosier than ever, her blonde hair shining and still wet. Holly's peach-coloured T-shirt and shorts suited her perfectly. 

"Diggums, pick up your jaw," she told him as she gracefully descended into an armchair. 

Mulch closed his mouth and pretended to be very interested in a nearby tray full of cookies. 

"So, Commander, who is the one I have to give an interview to?" asked the pixie, looking around. "I trust it's not pony boy, because I remember you saying he wasn't an expert on the Aztecs." Her eyes stopped on Mulch. "Not the dwarf, is it? He doesn't look intelligent enough to-" 

"No. Actually…" Holly walked into her son's room and told 'Please, come' to someone whom Opal hadn't seen yet. 

Her huge blue eyes widened as the person exited the room. She knew that face! But… but the body was completely different from the one she remembered! 

"Fowl. You've grown." 

"Indeed. In every respect." Artemis nodded. "The commander can attest to it." 

Holly's coffee-coloured face turned as red as the setting sun. Mud Boy was embarrassing her again! Could it be possible that he knew she'd seen him starkers? Could it be possible he'd always known she'd lied to him about not entering the bathroom that morning? Damn the Mud Boy! 

Seeing Opal, Root, Foaly, Juliet and even Mulch raise their eyebrows at her, Holly looked away, as though she hadn't noticed their curious stares. "Mr Fowl, please, interrogate Miss Koboi about her brother and the Aztec aspect of the story." 

Young Fowl sent her a self-confident smirk. "Commander, it always fills me with pleasure when you admit you couldn't fare without me." 

"Get stuffed," whispered Holly quietly so that only Artemis could hear her. 

"So, ask away, Fowl," Opal trilled, curling her feet under herself in a cat-like way. She looked just as pretty sitting in Holly's armchair as in her HoverboyTM. She took the liberty of snatching a cookie off the tray on the table. 

Artemis took a place opposite her. "As you surely know already, your brother, Miss Koboi, kidnapped our son." 

"Your son?" Opal choked on the cookie. "Yours and Short's?" A vicious grin spread on her pretty face. "Holy Frond, and they call _me_ a bitch just because I occasionally entertain the jailers! Say, Short, how could you sink so low as to sleep with a Mud Man?" 

"Let's get this straight, Koboi," Artemis replied, "Hol- the commander and I never, ever slept together." 

"Indeed?" The pixie arched her blonde eyebrows at the young genius and the elf still blushing next to him. "How did it go, then? Immaculate conception?" 

"Something of the sort." Artemis nodded. 

"And it's absolutely none of your business," added Holly, her tiny hands clenched into fists. "Your task here is not to ask, but to answer, convict. Mr Fowl, carry on with the interrogation." 

Ten minutes later Artemis was done with asking his questions. They weren't much different from the ones asked by Holly and Root, yet the way he asked them impressed Opal enough to give him more useful and detailed information than she'd given her two visitors in her cell. Not that she liked Artemis any better than Short or Root, but she was the type of person who could only be impressed by two things: intellect and evilness. She was the type of person who wouldn't give a second glance to a lesser man, but would by all means respect her equals. In fact, she even respected Foaly, but she hid it well. 

"Right," said young Fowl, standing up from the couch. "This is enough information to start with. I remember taking part in a wonderful seminar on the history of the people of Central-America at Trinity College. Our professor did not only excel in the history of the native Central-Americans; but she was completely obsessed with their myths as well. Aztec, Maya, Toltec, Olmec, and so on. I remember quite a bit of her lectures, but I would feel safer to contact her and make sure I remember all the details well. Give me an hour and I'll give you an assessment." 

"The great Artemis Fowl needs the help of a professor?" Opal seemed amused. 

"Do you know, Miss Koboi, what real knowledge is? It's not storing thousands of superfluous data bits in your head, but knowing where to look when you need something. Knowing which book to pick off the shelf, which site to hack into…"  
Artemis's lips curled into a smirk, "…or whom to ring up." 

"That's a real piece of wisdom, Arty, may I quote it later?" interjected Mulch. 

Artemis shrugged and headed back into Patrick's room, to call one Professor Sidney Fox.

* * *

Everyone waited in the living room with bated breath. Holly was staring at the floor, not looking at anyone, Root was smoking his umpteenth fungus cigar, Mulch was twiddling his thumbs, Juliet was nervously fidgeting and Foaly was giving Opal dark glances. Opal alone seemed calm and relaxed; she was after all the only person not emotionally involved in the situation. 

After forty minutes Artemis emerged from Patrick's room with a face even paler than usual; which was rather remarkable for a vampire-like countenance like his. One would have sworn this young man couldn't turn whiter than he normally was, but now he proved that he could. 

Holly looked up from the floor, her eyes filled with worry. "What did she say?" 

Artemis walked closer but did not sit down. "She assured me that my suspicions were right," he answered. 

"And those are…?" Foaly enquired. 

"It all began with the conquistadors setting foot in what is today's Mexico," came the reply. Upon seeing the confusion on his listeners' face, young Fowl carried on. "They arrived to the land of the Mayas, Aztecs and various native tribes. The natives were very superstitious people and at first they believed the Spanish to be gods. They though Hernando Cortez himself was none other than Quetzalcoatl, the Plumed Serpent god." 

"Must have been quite stupid these Aztecs, huh?" Mulch remarked. "Mistaking a Mud Man for a plumed serpent!" 

"As I said, they were superstitious," replied Artemis coldly. "They had prophecies in which they had been told that one day Quetzalcoatl would arrive to them in the form of a white man. So they greeted him as a god. But Cortez turned out to be an evil person, and definitely not a god. By the time the Aztecs realised this, Cortez and his people had taken over Tenochtitlan and all surrounding Aztec and Maya cities. They destroyed Tenochtitlan with its grand pyramids and turned the Aztec folk against their king, Montezuma. The king tried to convince his inferiors that the Spanish were their friends, but the angry people attacked him and killed him. There's one part of the story that historians never wrote down, but it lived on as a legend…" Artemis paused for a moment to look at his audience. His eyes travelled from the interest-filled faces of Foaly and Opal to the apathetic face of Root, and finally they settled on Holly. There were so many emotions on the elf girl's face: anxiety, interest, and a little bit of hope. Artemis shuddered to think of that little hope disappearing after he told her the rest of the story. For no doubt, hope _will _disappear from Holly's face to be replaced by horror. 

He found that he felt sorry for her. No mother on earth should be exposed to anything like this. And even if he tried to suppress the thought, he couldn't completely convince himself that he wasn't worried about the boy either. Especially now, in the fuller knowledge of Quench's plans. For the first time since Holly had told him he had a son, he really _felt_ that he was a father. The feeling frightened him. 

He gulped, and continued the story. "Before Montezuma died, he had given an order to his priests to find a way of killing the conquistadors. He ordered them to get help from the gods, whatever it took… And the priests complied. Deep in the forest where the Spanish couldn't find them, they built a small replica of the sacrificial pyramids of Tenochtitlan. They named the place Second Tenochtitlan. According to Professor Fox, only a very few people managed to find this place and once they tried to return there, they got hopelessly lost. Some sort of curse is on that pyramid – a curse that ensures that one can only find it once and if he lives to tell the tale, he can't bring others there again." 

"But why would _anyone_ want to go there again? Just to see a bloody pyramid?" asked Juliet who had never had a sense for the beauty of history. Ancient buildings belonged to the things that fascinated her least. 

"Why?" A tiny smile appeared on Artemis's deadly pale face. "Because of the gold." 

"Gooold?" Mulch's eyes popped, only to get a piercing look from Julius Root. 

"Yes, gold." Young Fowl nodded. "The Aztec priests tried to smuggle as much gold out of the original Tenochtitlan into Second Tenochtitlan under the Spanish's nose as possible. That pyramid is said to be filled with gold. Like a smaller version of Eldorado." 

Mulch was already drooling. 

"Do you think Quench knows where this place is?" Holly asked. 

"I'm sure he does. I don't know how or when he got to know, but he knows about it. Perhaps he doesn't know the exact location, but he's going to use the humans to help him find it." 

"So that's why he needed Carla Frazetti's name and address," pondered Opal. "That's why he was so glad when I told him that Frazetti and her whole family were obsessed with money… He wants to offer the Mud Men the gold if they help him find the place. But… my brother doesn't need the gold. He's richer than anyone under the face of earth!" 

"Of course he doesn't want the gold," replied Artemis. "He wants something else from Second Tenochtitlan. He wants the idol fabricated by the Aztec priests." 

"Idol? What idol?" Opal frowned. 

"You said your brother hated the fairies and wanted to take revenge on them," said the young man. "Do you think it's possible he wants… genocide?" 

The pixie thought for a minute, then slowly nodded. "I think he's capable of anything. He's mad. In both senses of the word." 

"I thought so," sighed Artemis. "And that means he really wants that idol." 

"Why, what does that idol do?" asked Root between two puffs of smoke. 

Artemis took a deep breath. "It is capable of destroying a whole race of people. The Aztec priests made it to use it on the Spanish, but before they could have used it, they were murdered." 

"So that idol has magical properties?" Foaly wondered. "But… but humans cannot use magic!" 

"Just because they aren't fairies… some of them can use magic," replied the genius coolly. "Of course their magic isn't foolish wand waving or healing with sparks from their fingertips… it's different, and mostly dark magic like talking with spirits and stuff like that. The point is that the Aztec priests had a talent for dark magic and constructed a little, magical statue that, if used properly, would be able to rid them of the invaders. The statue is hidden somewhere in that pyramid-" 

"And Quench wants to use it on the People," Holly concluded, her complexion turning to buff from its usual coffee-colour. 

"Yes." Artemis nodded, but didn't look at her. "And there's something else." 

"Something else?" The commander breathed, feeling that the worst was yet to come. 

"The Aztecs believed that the only way they could convince the gods to make the sun rise every day was to offer them sacrifices. They killed hundreds of thousands of people on their pyramids, as a gift to their gods." A vein pulsed on Artemis's temple and a single bead of sweat ran down the side of his face. "In order to use the legendary idol, a virgin needs to be sacrificed. A virgin as young as possible… preferably a child." 

Root knitted his eyebrows. "You mean Quench needs to kill a little girl?" 

Artemis shook his head. "Not necessarily a girl. Just an innocent child who cannot have had sex yet. A girl who hasn't yet started her period, or a boy whose voice hasn't yet broken…" 

He braced himself to look at Holly and saw she was trembling from head to toe, her lips almost white. One single word left her mouth. "P…Patrick?"

* * *

**-Author grins evilly-**


	10. A mother's heart

**Author's note:** this is mainly a sappy chapter... well, the next one will be interesting already. 

_El Shabang_: in this fic there won't be any resurrected characters, I can promise you that. 

_Mistri, Tonks' Admirer:_ ah, I understand the chicken thing now. We don't have a saying like that in Hungary, that's why I didn't get it. When did I use euphemisms? I don't remember... anyway, sometimes I think it's necessary to use them, if I want to keep the fic PG-13 rated instead of changing it into R. Obviously Artemis can deduce things better than anyone else. Mulch/Koboi - yeeeees --insert wicked grin-- ;) 

_TinkerBell394587_: I'm so flattered you like this possibly better than the AF Files, because I absolutely adored the short story about Holly becoming a captain. Have you read the Seventh dwarf? I think AF Files was better. What do _you_ think? 

_cocoaducks_: yup, Quench could use Holly as well, but he won't. Why? Wait till chapter 19 to find out ;) 

_C-chan1_: nope, Quench isn't a bit imaginative. You're clever thinking that Quench might kill himself with the idol too, but later I will explain how it works. 

_sabouki_: yes, I LOVE Relic Hunter (Nigel is such a cuuutie!) 

_surreality-1711_: the fact that Artemis told Holly that he can't remember his feelings from before the mind-wipe, doesn't mean that he really can't. Arty sometimes - or rather quite often - lies to Holly, in order to keep up the image of a cold-hearted person. 

_Rydia's Chocobo_: I won't convert my fics into PG, because then many 'interesting' parts would be left out. Also, most people under 13 still read them, even if the rating is PG-13, so there's no point in changing anything... 

_BeatlesLover_: I'm so glad you liked The Greatest Enemy (that's my best fanfic, no doubt). I don't know whether I'll be writing more HP fics, but after The Half Blood Prince comes out, I might write a new one. It depends. If HBP inspires me to write a new one, then I will. And yes, ideas like 'Norbert' just come to me. Funnily the best ideas always come to me at weird situations, like when I'm sitting at the church, listening to a sermon (bad Agi, thinking of plot twists in the sermon!) or when I'm studying for a damn difficult exam (actually the idea for this Artemis fic came to me when I was studying statistics for the entrance exam into the university;) 

_EvilSpirit_: no, I didn't know that. There are loads of English abbreviations that I don't know, given that my native language isn't English. 

_apple-pie_: glad you think Patrick is a well-created character. There will be a lot of romance between A/H, though it won't be sappy. Butler will only have one more scene, so he doesn't really have a role. Sleeping on the floor wasn't that horrible, after all... but I'm glad I have my bed back ;) Yes, Opal will have quite a bit of a role in the fic. Yes, they will go to Mexico. 

_leonsalanna_: Patrick told Quench that he wasn't a pureblood in order to make sure that Quench wouldn't want to use the serum on him. 

_luckyducky7too_: how did I get the idea of including the Aztec legends into the story? Well, I put mythological elements into most of my fics. In my Harry Potter ones I used Egyptian, Viking and Greek mythology. For this fic I chose the Aztecs. 

_sophianwin_: even if no answer required, I'm answering it. Quench didn't want to single out Patrick as a sacrifice, but he needed the boy to make the MMM for him, and if he already had the boy in his hands, he thought he'd use Patrick as the sacrifice. Patrick simply came in handy, and this we he didn't need to kidnap another child. 

_Epsilon2Delta_: about your predictions: Quartz and his guards already used Patrick's substance on themselves, it's not a future happening. The fact that Quartz is a virgin won't have a role in the fic. And perhaps he isn't even a virgin - he's ugly, yes, but he's damn rich as well. There are surely some fairy whores who would sleep with him for money. The MMM doesn't stop the fairies from being killed (but it's an interesting idea nevertheless). 

_Cyberspace_: it must be the age thing, and the experience. I've been writing fanfics for about four years now, after all. Believe me, my first stories were horrible (especially their language - my English is way better now). 

_BrownPryde:_ Quartz knows the approximate location of the pyramid. The same stands for Arty. 

_tania15:_ I expect you will find enough A/H romance in this chapter ;) 

_specklednewt:_ Patrick doesn't hate Artemis (I think in order to hate someone you need to know them), but he is uncomfortable with the fact that his father is a Mud Man. Later on you'll see that he longs to get to know his dad and when they meet... ssshhh! Not telling ;) 

Also thanks to: _Indigo Ziona, Yuffie Paine, Miss Piratess, septempopuli, yasmin, Lady EmeraldBlack, animezebra, neutralgal, aprilechidna, Holly Rox, The OddBird, J. Ashen, Iced Artemis, trohS-ylloH, glorwen_

* * *

**Chapter 10******

**A mother's heart**  
  
Artemis nodded. "I have every reason to believe that it's what Quench is planning." 

"How much time do you reckon we have left?" said Holly, her voice quavering. Artemis saw that she was clutching the armrests of her armchair so tightly that her knuckles turned white. So was her face – it was downright ashen. She seemed to be fighting valiantly with her tears and Artemis couldn't help but admire her strength – she was holding herself upright even in this most desperate hour. He had no doubt that her soul must have been in turmoil and she must have felt like screaming at the top of her lungs, but instead she only asked how much time they had left before her son got executed. 

"Over a week," he replied. "According to Professor Fox, the sacrifice has be made at full moon when the moon's rays come through a special opening on the pyramid's wall and fall on the altar on which…" 

"…on which they want to kill Patrick," breathed Holly. 

"Yes." 

"And how are they going to kill him?" Mulch interjected with clear interest on his face. Opal too seemed to be eager to hear all the bloody details. After all, who was this Patrick for her? No one. Why should she feel pity, then? 

Artemis bit into his lower lip – something that he didn't do on a regular basis; and looked at Holly. Barely noticeably, she nodded, giving her consent for him to continue, even though she knew what he was going to share could be too much for her to bear. 

Young Fowl took a deep breath and looked away from the commander. "The Aztecs… they killed their victims by slicing open their chests and cutting out their hearts… when those were still throbbing." 

Root choked on a fungus cigar. "You… you don't mean it! Slicing them up alive!" 

"Unfortunately it's true," sighed Artemis. "They used some sort of volcanic glass for the purpose – obsidian. Nowadays people rather make jewellery of it but the Aztecs…" 

Holly fainted.

* * *

Carla Frazetti was eyeing the masked man with a dubious expression. She had got a call from this Quench person the day before and agreed to arrange a meeting because the voice in the phone had promised a real fortune if they managed to strike a deal. Certainly the first thing Carla had done before the meeting was to make her resident hacker look into all Interpol files on a certain Quartz Quench; and she was content to find out that no files with this name existed. This meant that even if her future 'customer' was getting some attention from the Interpol, he wasn't stupid enough to keep using his real name. However, this in itself didn't secure a safe business for her and her family, so she decided to weigh all the pros and cons before agreeing to help the bloke with whatever he needed help with. 

"Well, Miss Frazetti, what do you think?" asked Quench in an unctuous voice. He was glad to have transformed into a Mud Man replica, given that in their original form he and his guards would have had a harder job convincing Frazetti that they were humans than Diggums had so many years ago. The reason why Mulch could easier fit in as a human was that dwarves had more Mud Man-like features than elves, pixies and gnomes, not to mention that their ears weren't pointed. 

Carla leant back in her armchair, scrutinizing the small visible part of the man's face. There was something about the man that made her trust him, but she couldn't put a finger on it. "The job sounds challenging, Mr Quench," she replied. "My people have been in tough situations, but have never fought their way across a jungle…" 

"I hope you don't mean they aren't up to it?" 

"Of course not." Carla waved. "I merely said it was an interesting new challenge for them. So why exactly do you want to find that pyramid?" 

"Let's say I'm seeking a certain idol in that pyramid, nothing else. Why I'm seeking that idol is to remain my secret. However, it might interest you what this pyramid may offer to you and your family," said Quartz. 

Carla raised an eyebrow at him, lighting a cigarette. "I hope you're talking about the payment, Mr Quench." 

"I am, Miss Frazetti." The fairy nodded. "You are to ask no questions about my intentions with the idol, and in exchange I'm offering you gold. So much as you can't even imagine." 

"I can imagine quite a lot," Carla said, the red gem glinting on her white row of teeth. 

"You'll get it." 

"How can I be sure that you have the gold you are talking about?" the woman asked, blowing smoke into Quench's face. 

After a few coughs, Quartz cleared his throat. "I do not have the gold." 

Frazetti frowned. "WHAT?" 

"I do not have the gold." Quench corrected himself. "The pyramid however, is filled with gold. It's like a smaller version of Eldorado." 

The woman's eyes flashed with excitement. "So you want us to help you get there, and in return we get to collect as much gold as we can bear?" 

"Quite correct, Miss Frazetti." 

"Sounds appealing. Sounds _too good_ for some reason…" The woman muttered contemplatively. 

"Too good, huh? Well, there might be a couple of… traps, but such risks belong to treasure hunting, don't they?" replied the fairy in a sugar-sweet voice, his eyes boring deeply into Carla's. 

She nodded. "Yeah. Treasure hunting's never been a risk-free business. I trust you know the coordinates? At least approximately?" 

"I know them quite precisely, Miss Frazetti." Quartz answered, hoping to make Carla believe that he indeed knew them.  
_Mesmer_ could work wonders, after all… In fact he wasn't sure of the correct coordinates, he merely had a vague idea where to look for the pyramid. But, for the time being, he didn't worry about it. As soon as they were in the jungle, he could make up stories why the coordinates given by him weren't correct. They'd keep searching until they found the pyramid, he was sure of that – Frazetti wouldn't let 'Eldorado' slip through her fingers. Truth be told Quartz wasn't even 100 sure that this pyramid indeed existed, he had just read several theories about it on the Internet and the more he read about it, the more convinced he became that it was real. He regarded himself as a fairy version of Heinrich Schliemann, who had believed in the existence of Troy and Mycenae so badly that he hadn't given up until he discovered the ruins of both cities. Schliemann had based his excavations on mythology, nothing else; and mythology once again proved to have a historical basis. Quartz was sure that Second Tenochtitlan indeed existed and the idol was still intact, waiting for him to use it. 

A grin spread on his face at the thought of using it – lucky that his mask hid it well. Poor fairies, they had no idea what was in store for them! 

"Give me 24 hours to think it over, Mr Quench," Carla concluded. "And pack for a journey, because if I say yes in 24 hours, then we are to set off immediately." 

Quartz squinted at the clock on the wall – it was 1:32 p.m. "My things will be packed by 1:32 tomorrow, in the hope of a positive answer, Miss Frazetti." He gave the woman one last stare, then stood up and left the room, feeling contented. It had been easier to _mesmer_-convince Carla than he'd expected. Perhaps the woman didn't even have a will as strong as she was said to have…

* * *

__

_"No, please, Patrick, noooo!"_

Artemis opened his eyes and yawned, for a moment not even realising where he was. Then the moaning came again. He sat up, looked around, and suddenly remembered. He was in Patrick Short's room, the almost-finished antidote standing in vials on the nearby table and the door to the living room standing slightly ajar.__

_"Please, don't! Don't kill him!"_

"Holly," he breathed and before he even knew what he was doing, he was out in the living room, tearing open the door to her room and shaking her. "Wake up, Holly, wake up!" No calling her Commander this time. She was just Holly, a desperate mother having nightmares about her son's death. 

It had taken her two sedative pills to go to sleep in the evening and Artemis wished she could have taken some sort of a 'dreamless potion' as well. But such things only existed in fairy tales… 

"Wake up, come on!" He gently patted her cheek, wondering how on earth Mulch on the living room couch had managed to sleep through the racket Holly was making. Lucky that at least Opal had been transported to Root's flat where both Root and Juliet could keep an eye on her; for Artemis was sure that spoiled Miss Koboi would have gone hysteric about being awoken  
at three a.m. by the elf girl's screams. 

Finally, Holly opened her eyes but she hadn't yet managed to come to her senses, for she grabbed Artemis's shirt and groaned _'Don't… kill… him!'_

"It's okay, Holly, no one's going to kill your son," replied young Fowl, gently peeling her hands off his shirt. 

"A… Artemis?" she whispered. Even though the room was fairly dark, he could see that her eyes were wide with fear and surprise. 

"What, not calling me Mister Fowl?" he whispered back; almost expecting a punch from her, but it never came. Instead she began to tremble, her sweat-soaked body convulsing with sobs. He, who hadn't embraced anyone but his mother and father (and even them only two or three times in his whole life), now instinctually swept her into his arms, letting her wet his shirt with the flow of her tears. "It's okay, Holly. It was just a nightmare, it wasn't real. No one's killing Patrick, and they won't get to kill him, ever. We won't let them. We'll save him, I promise." 

"P…promise?" she hiccoughed, her face still buried into his chest. 

"Yes. We will. I have a plan." He reached out to caress the top of her head, drinking in the scent of her hair. It smelled of wildflowers. Did the fairies produce wildflower-scented shampoo? – he wondered, running his fingers through the silky, auburn tresses. 

Suddenly, Holly stiffened in his arms and drew back. 

"Yes," he repeated, thinking that she had only drawn back because she wanted to see him say the word, to see his expression (as much as she could in the darkness), to see that he _meant _what he'd said. "We are going to save him. Trust me." 

However, the reason why Holly had stiffened and withdrawn from his embrace wasn't that she'd wanted to make sure he wasn't lying, nor that she'd been surprised he had a plan – after all, Artemis Fowl was supposed to have a plan; he would cease to be the real Artemis if he didn't… 

No. The reason why she'd drawn back was that she had suddenly felt his strokes. True, he'd only been caressing her hair, but it had felt so… intimate. And the way he'd been talking: his chin almost resting on her crown; his breath warm on the skin of her head… 

Could this be Artemis Fowl? The cold, calculating, ever so selfish Artemis Fowl? Holding her in his arms and soothing her like a… mother would a baby? Or… a lover? 

Holly shuddered at the thought. _You complete idiot! _– she reprimanded herself. _He had just been friendly! Nothing else!_

But could Artemis be _really_ friendly? That was something to ponder…

"I'm trying to trust you, Mr Fowl," she said after regaining her composure. "I hope your plan will be working perfectly, not like Plan A in the Spiro incident… this time we cannot fail. There's no chance for a Plan B. This time not a bloody cube is at risk, but my son's life. _Your_ son's life. Never forget that." 

"I'm trying not to," he replied, standing up, his usual mask of indifference back in place. "But first, you should try to calm down. If you wake me up again with your screaming, then I won't get enough sleep, my brain cells won't work as they should, and I might screw up the antidote, or the last yet-to-be-devised parts of the plan might be devised wrong. Good night, Commander." 

"Hey, what's going on?" a sleepy Mulch called from the couch in the living room. 

"Nothing." Artemis waved from the door. "Miss Short is just a bit disappointed that I'm not staying any longer to carry on with what we'd begun in her bed…" 

Holly grabbed her pillow and threw it at him, but the door slammed shut before the 'missile' could reach its target, it ricocheted off the door and ended up on the carpet. "How dare he?" Holly hissed, but Artemis and Mulch could no longer hear her. The worst was, she had to admit to herself, that Fowl had been right. She _was_ disappointed that he hadn't stayed and held her in his arms a bit longer…

* * *

"So," Artemis cleared his throat, his eyes scanning his audience. They had again gathered in the living room of the Short apartment. 

"So what?" Opal raised a blonde eyebrow at him. 

"I have devised a plan." 

"Oh joy! Arty's plans rock!" said Mulch happily, and Artemis alone noticed the sarcastic undertone in the dwarf's voice.  
Artemis clasped his hands behind his back and held himself as upright as he could. "First we are going to divide into two groups." 

"Not again," groaned Juliet. 

"I'm sorry, Juliet, but a backup team is of vital importance," he replied. 

"Right. Under one circumstance," the Butler girl said fiercely: "I get to be on your team!" 

Artemis nodded. "I never wanted you on the other team. I'll need a bodyguard where we are going. Dangerous place." 

Juliet's eyes gleamed with excitement. She hadn't had her share of dangers for years, and she'd been dying for adventures. 

"Er… what sort of dangers do you mean, Arty?" enquired Mulch somewhat insecurely. 

"Well, let's see…" Artemis started counting, "Poisonous spiders, poisonous snakes, vicious natives with poisoned arrows, various predators, deadly traps in the pyramid, etc., etc. I hope you're all up to it." 

"Of cooooourse," Mulch waved with a wide grin, but Artemis was sure that for the first time in his life he'd seen a glint of fear in the infamous Mr Diggums' eyes. After all it was one thing to live in a skyscraper in Los Angeles stealing Oscars; or even live in a dirty shack, working for Frazetti; but facing the thousand dangers of a rainforest was something completely different. "I'll need loads of sunscreen, though!" 

Foaly, the one responsible for making notes put the word 'sunscreen' on the 'what to pack for the journey' list. "Mind you, Diggums, you aren't going to the Sahara, the jungle provides shade…" 

"Better safe than sorry." Mulch shrugged. 

"Right. Mulch gets his sunscreen," Artemis agreed. "Juliet?" 

"Sounds fine to me," she replied. "I badly need a good scrap. As for the poisonous animals - I'm not afraid." 

"You will be. Yes, you will be," commented Foaly. It was easy for him to talk; he knew Artemis wouldn't give him a part in the rescue mission itself. 

"Not Star Wars again, please," Holly sighed. As her gaze met that of Artemis, she drew herself up. "Certainly the Mexican jungle is a dangerous place. But I'd wade through a river of fanged snakes and tackle a hundred jaguars just to save Patrick." 

"You might have to do that," young Fowl pointed out. "Foaly, we'll need antidotes for the most common snake-bites, in case we can't use fairy healing magic for some reason. I trust you have these antidotes in Haven?" 

"'Course we do," answered the centaur and added 'antidote against snake venom and spider bites' to the list. 

"As I said," young Fowl continued, "there would be two teams. Team A includes the Commander, Juliet and myself. Team B consists of Julius, Mulch and Opal." 

"Me?" the pixie gasped, all the blood running out of her face. 

"Yes, Miss Koboi. You." Artemis nodded. "If things turn the way I suspect they might turn, you are going to be the key to Mr Quench." 

"Hey, hey, wait a minute!" Opal jumped up from the sofa and held out her freshly-manicured hands in protest. "When I left my comfortable and completely safe cell at Howler's Peak, I had bargained for a short trip to Haven, giving a bit of information to you, and nothing else! You can't make me run through a jungle just to save some snot-nosed kid!" 

"That snot-nosed kid is my son!" Holly shouted, rising to her feet. "And your bloody brother wants to kill him in order to annihilate the People!" 

"Yeah. He wants to wipe them out. All of them," added Foaly. Holly was too mad at Opal to shout 'no more Star Wars quotes!' at the centaur. 

"Exactly!" she shouted at Koboi instead. "He wants to do away with us all! You too, Princess! So if you don't want to kick the bucket any time soon, then you'll do as Artemis tells you! Understood?" 

"So, you're calling him Artemis after all, huh?" Opal gave the commander a cheeky grin. 

Holly rolled her eyes and sat back into her armchair. 

"First of all," Artemis carried on, "the commander will entrust Trouble to take over her duties until we return." He turned to face Holly. "It is important that you not tell him any of the details. Don't mention the pyramid, nor Mexico, nor the Aztecs. Tell him that it's about saving Patrick, but nothing else. I trust you can handle him." 

"Of course I can, I'm his commander!" Holly snapped. 

"Good." Young Fowl nodded. "And now, ladies and gentlemen, to the plan…"

* * *

"Everything went fine with Trouble?" Root asked Holly as she entered her apartment. 

She nodded. "He seemed a bit anxious about us leaving, but…" 

"You mean he seemed a bit anxious about _you_ leaving," Foaly corrected her, grinning. 

"Perhaps." She shrugged. "But he said he was honoured to be the one to fill in for me. And what's up here? How are you proceeding with the packing?" 

"Quite well," said Root. He and Juliet had piled a huge heap of things on the couch and Foaly was checking them on the list. Mulch seemed a bit grouchy, given that his sleeping place was now occupied with objects to be packed for the journey, and he doubted that he'd get the couch back any time soon. 

"Where's A… Mr Fowl?" enquired Holly. She didn't want to utter 'Artemis' in Opal Koboi's presence. 

Opal was sitting in an armchair in the corner, deeply immersed in something she'd just printed from the Internet. As Holly found out later, it was a report on tropic diseases one might acquire in the Central-American jungle. 

"Camouflage foils?" asked Foaly, reading out his list. 

"Check," replied Root. 

"Neutrinos?" 

"Check." 

"Maps and compasses?" 

"Check." 

"Walkie-talkies and various types of communication?" 

"Check." 

"Sleeping bags?" 

"Check." 

"Atlantean Brandy?" 

"Check, and try not to drink it before it's needed." 

"Antidotes against spider and snake venom?" 

"Check." 

"Nourishment?" 

"Check." 

"Acorns in plexiglass spheres?" 

"Against regulations, but check." 

"Right. We have everything," announced the centaur. 

"Almost everything," said Artemis, exiting Patrick's room, a corked vial of emerald green liquid in his hand. "You almost forgot the most important item." 

"Oh," Foaly nodded. "So it's ready, then." 

"Ready." 

Holly bit into her lower lip. "A… are you sure it's working? I mean, you haven't had a chance to test it, and…" 

"I am. I'm a genius, after all. A Nobel-prize winner biochemist, never forget that, Commander," Artemis replied, looking as self-assured as always. "Here, Juliet, pack this too. And make sure it doesn't break." 

"Do you think it's wise to… to base the whole mission on this…" Holly pointed at the vial that Artemis had handed to Juliet.

"Perhaps not wise." Artemis shrugged. "But I'm not old enough to be wise. And usually geniuses aren't wise men. They are _clever_ men. There's a difference. Don't expect me to be wise, Miss Short. Just trust me."

"Easy to say, Mud Boy." She turned away from him. 

"If you intended that as an insult, then I can assure you that I didn't take it as one," he said with a sarcastic edge in his voice.  
She turned around to face him again, and he was slightly taken aback to see tears brimming her eyes. Again. For the second time that day. "I'm trying to trust you, Artemis, but there's too much at stake now! My son! Our world! And… and it's so hard to believe that it could all be solved with that… that small vial of green goo!" she stammered, not even noticing that she'd called him Artemis in Opal's presence. "What if your plan fails?" 

"Then you can tell everyone that Artemis Fowl is a bloody loser," he replied calmly. 

"If it fails, there won't be anyone left to tell it to," she whispered, blinking back tears. "Don't screw it up, Artemis, please." 

"I will not screw it up," he replied bitterly. "Only others might screw it up for us." 

"Rosy prospects," commented Opal from the corner, not even looking up from the report on tropic diseases. 

"Hold your tongue!" Holly snapped, and turned back to Artemis. "So… so you really think this is going to work?" 

Her voice was so full of hope and despair, that Artemis felt a lump rise in his throat. He couldn't lie to her. "No plan is fool-proof, Holly. Not even mine. But we mustn't give up hope. We're fighting for the good cause, after all…" He made a grimace. "I never thought I'd EVER tell someone such a sentimental trash… but I mean it." He took a few steps towards Holly, and put his hands on her shoulders. She didn't shrug them off like she usually did. "The brains and the heart are on our side. We can't lose." 

"You're the brains and I'm the heart?" she gave him a small smile, reaching up to cover his hands with her own. He nodded. 

"Oh, for heaven's sake, spare us and get a room!" groaned Opal. 

Artemis and Holly jumped apart. 

"For once I agree with you, Koboi," commented Foaly, only to get an incredulous look from the pixie. "Don't get complacent Opal, this was a once-only thing." 

The pixie shrugged and again buried herself in the fascinating lecture on tropical illnesses.

* * *

Night had come and Opal had yet again been transported back to Root's place, along with Juliet. Mulch had got the couch back for sleeping, because Juliet and Holly had packed everything into rucksacks that were now scattered all over the room. The dwarf had wondered how they would be able to take everything they had packed. It seemed to be enough for a one-year-long trip around the world, while they were only going for a week-long trip to Mexico. _Women_, Mulch had thought disapprovingly, _they always pack more than necessary._ Good that Opal didn't have any possessions, for he was sure that if she did, then she'd want to take four huge suitcases with make-up and a different dress for each day (mind you, women love being photographed in different clothes every day!). 

Mulch was already snoring when Artemis needed to use the toilet. After beating the computer in the loo three times, he headed back to sleep – he needed a clear mind and all his strength for the upcoming journey. Sometimes he shuddered at the thought of what was awaiting them in the jungle, but he always managed to push it into the back of his mind. There were more important things to think of. Like the Aztec gold… 

As he closed the door between the living room and the back garden, he saw a thin sliver of light under Holly's door. Was she still awake? 

Amidst Mulch's snores, he knocked on the door, and as an answer got a faint 'go away'. 

That was all he needed to enter. 

"I said _go away_," Holly grunted, her back turned on him. 

"Sorry, but I'm not the type you can order around – Commander or not," he said, closing the door behind him. 

"You think you're funny, do you?" 

"No, and I don't think I have ever been funny. That's Mulch's task, not mine. However," he said, sitting down on the bed next to her, "I can be quite soothing if I want to be…" 

"What makes you think so?" she asked, still not facing him. 

"Well, just last night when you were bawling like a baby…" 

"Don't you dare-" she swirled around, her eyes sparkling with fury. For some reason he wasn't surprised to see tears glinting on her cheeks. She had been crying – again. "You low-down, half-witted-" 

"Hey, I might be low-down, but definitely not half-witted!" 

Her tiny fist connected with his chin, sending him off the bed, to end up in an undignified heap on the floor. 

"Whew. Your fists are still deadly," he remarked, massaging his chin. 

"So is your chin," she retorted, massaging her aching knuckles. 

He sent her a grin. 

She grinned back. 

"We still get along wonderfully, don't you think, Commander?" 

"Just like we always did, Mr Fowl," she agreed, wiping the remaining tears off her face. 

"Actually," he began, seating himself on the bed again (though not nearly as close as he had upon entering), "I thought you needed consoling." 

"I did not. Especially not from you." 

"You love insulting me." 

"You love teasing me," she replied. "Why?" 

"Because… I think it all comes down to psychology." 

"Psychology?" she furrowed her brow. 

"Yeah. As a teenager I never had a girl around to tease. Except for Juliet, but I know her enough not to dare tease her." 

"So you're telling me you're venting your up-till-now suppressed teenage hormones on me?" 

"Could be." 

"Some father you are," she tutted. 

"I promise to behave like an adult before Patrick when we find him." 

"When we find him…" she echoed his words. "_If _we find him…" 

He put a hand on her should and gently squeezed it. "We will find him." 

"I wish I had half the optimism you do," she sighed. 

"It's not optimism but self-confidence," he replied with a half-smile. Scary how many times Holly had made him smile in the past week, even amidst all the hardships. If he thought it over, he had to admit that he hadn't smiled as much in his whole life as in this short week in the Short Residence. He found it scary too that he actually enjoyed teasing her – in other words: he enjoyed behaving in a childish way. Holly was bringing out the worst in him, he decided. 

She returned the smile. "Certainly. Self-confidence is something you never lacked." 

To turn the discussion to more serious matters, he looked into her eyes and asked: "Do you think Patrick finished that substance for Quench?" 

"I don't know. Out of his free will he surely wouldn't have. He's too stubborn." A small smile spread on her face. "From this point of view, he reminds me of myself." 

"Not that I'm not stubborn," he added, cocking his head. "He must be extremely stubborn if he inherited it from both sides." 

"Yes, he is. But I'm sure Quench did everything to break him. Perhaps used an Obedience serum on him or something of the sort. Why do you ask?" 

"Because then we should add the antidote for the Obedience serum to our 'to pack' list," he replied. "I take Foaly can get some?" 

"I'm sure he can. Obedience serum is quite common even though illegal; there must be an antidote for it. I seriously hope we'll have a chance to give it to my son, or… or…" her voice faltered and a tremor ran down her body, "he might submit to his own execution… _willingly_. Can you imagine that?" 

"I'd rather not. If he's under the effect of that serum, we'll find a way to give him the antidote. I believe in it. Do you? What does _your_ heart tell you?" 

She paused before answering. It even crossed her mind why Artemis was this nice to her all of a sudden. Could it be possible that he too was worried about Patrick? Well, after all, there was a spark of decency in him, though hidden very well… "My heart says I'm going to see him again and save him. But I'm still afraid." 

"It's natural to be afraid. I'm afraid too. But if you feel we'll save him, then we will." 

She nodded, nestling her face into his chest. Before he knew, she was asleep in his arms.

* * *

**A/N**: review, please! :)  



	11. Fowl of the jungle

**Author's note:**longest chapter so far, hope you like it. 

_ObsessivePerfectionist:_ I haven't done big reserach on the Aztecs, only read a few books, and the idea of Second Tenochtitlan is nothing to be taken seriously. This is just a fanfic, after all :) I find it funny that you dislike Patrick while you like Quench (I feel just the opposite ;) 

_trohS-ylloH_: I don't think I'm writing like Colfer, I'm writing like AgiVega ;) It may be a mere coincidence if his and my style is a bit similar. When I wrote HP fics, people accused me of being Rowling in disguise, which I found quite ridiculous, because I don't think my stlye is a bit like JKR's. I'm never imitating an original author's style, so it's weird that most people think my style is like Rowling's or Colfer's... 

_LittleGreenPerson_: is it possible to write a book in just one month? I can't imagine myself writing one so quickly, even if I had all the time in the world (which, unfortunately, I don't). 

_Mistri, Tonks' Admirer_: yup, for a few nights I slept on the floor, on a mattress. Most of the time Artemis IS calm and collected. Nope, Opal isn't up to anything in connection with the diseases. Yeah, I DID like to wear a new dress every day in Greece ;) I know, I know Holly's way older than Arty, but hey, in humans years she'd be only around 25! 

_cocoaducks_: why_ shouldn't_ Holly refer to Patrick as her son? 

_TinkerBell394587_: my fav line in the LEPRecon story was the final one: '_You're going to wash out in six months,' continued Root, 'and probably cost me a fortune.' He was wrong about the first, but right about the second_. LOL :D 

_C-chan1_: yup, ffnet stole my percentage sign - I just checked, it was there in the original Word file. Atlantean Brandy comes back later. No more said now. 

_Indigo Ziona_: and the emotions will only get more confused soon ;) Yup, I've read AF files and loved it, especially the story about Holly becoming a captain :) 

_Marfbag_: I invented Second Tenochtitlan, but the original Tenochtitlan exists/existed - it's today's Mexico City. 

_BeatlesLover_: clever thinking about Holly ;) Half-blond prince? Does that mean you've seen that particular art of mine?;) 

_animezebra_: the first A/H kiss will be in chapter 16, I think. So you've got to wait a bit for that... No, Arty won't be busting down the door - he's more subtle than that. Yes, you'll see quite a bit of Opal in the future. 

_kirby freak_: if you intend to continue reading, then you'll have to get used to the thought of the - cough - PG-13 parts, because there will be loads of them. 

_Artymaster_: Opal isn't a bit jealous of A/H, because she doesn't fancy Arty. 

_sophianwin_: I'm sorry to say that, but Patrick doesn't have friends. Well, his only friends are Foaly and Root, but I expect that neither of them is a virgin anymore, so they couldn't be used as the sacrifice. 

_Cyberspace_: I know you were just kidding, but still: this fic is as PG-13 as possible. Sometimes it may be a strong PG-13, but it will never reach R. The youngsters have nothing to fear, I'm not corrupting them (if they're at least 13...;) I'm glad you like the fic despite your dislike of A/H. 

_Myfanwy 214_: well... let's say that Mulch/Opal is a possible pairing ;) 

_Dr.F.RoyDeanSchlippe_: yes, I have already thought of that ;) Glad you like the fic! (btw, I like your username ;) 

_Ayuka-chan:_ I'm sorry too that there aren't A/H smut fics, e.g. there could be some on adultfanficnet... but there's only one Arty/Juliet and two or three slash fics (and I don't read slash). I wish someone wrote a proper A/H smut fic (not here on ffnet, obviously, but on adultffnet) 

_WackedOutPet13_: I'm glad you think it isn't syrupy. I'll try to keep it non-syrupy all along. I hope I'm going to succeed. 

_TrunkZy_: I completely understand you not liking a name tha a stupid person you know has. I for one had a classmate in the primary school called Anna. She was a real (insert bad things here), and when my dad and his wife decided to adopt a baby girl and name her Anna, I was pretty much annoyed, because I associated that name with the idiot-Anna. No, I haven't seen a commercial with an Aztec pyramid in it. 

Also thanks to: _BrownPryde, Hexe605, EvilExpressions, Yuffie Paine, Keiko, El Shabang, utena, septempopuli, neutralgIrl, The OddBird, EvilSpirit, Yasmin, kissimycrazy, luckyducky7too, Holly Rox, Joe, leonsalanna, glorwen, aprilechidna, Cherri J. Ookami, Epsilon2Delta, Lady Emerald Black, harriettapotter, Dreaming One_

* * *

**Chapter 11**

**Fowl of the jungle**   
  
Holly took a deep breath of the vaporous tropical air. They had left chute A-2897 mere minutes ago and were now getting acquainted with the surroundings. Holly thought it was a wonder that chute A-2897 was still working, given that it hadn't been used for over 300 years. The exit of the chute itself was situated on the edge of a clearing, next to a rock overgrown with jungle flowers. From there they had a wonderful view of a majestic pyramid. 

"Beautiful," Juliet breathed, even though she wasn't the type to be fascinated by old buildings. 

"I take this _isn't_ the pyramid we are looking for," commented Holly. 

"Obviously it isn't," replied Artemis. "This is the great pyramid in Chichén Itza, the so-called El Castillo. There are 91 steps on each of the four sides, thus 365, symbolising the year. Chichén Itza is the meeting point of the Mayan and Toltec cultures. This is where you can find the biggest ancient stadium for ball games. They were a bit rude, these ball games… you know, the losing team got sacrificed." 

"Have you swallowed a computer?" Holly frowned, just to conceal the sudden anxiety that came over her at the mention of 'sacrifice'. 

"Aren't we looking for an _Aztec_ pyramid?" enquired Juliet. 

"Of course we are." Artemis rolled his eyes. "But since this chute was the closest to our supposed destination, we had to come here and go on from here on foot." 

"I know that, but what are Mayan and Tol… Tol whatever pyramids doing here, where we are looking for an Aztec one?" 

Artemis suppressed a sigh. Juliet was a wonderful fighter but definitely not an academic person. There were occasions when Artemis couldn't help but think of her as 'blonde'. 

"There were several folks living on the area of today's Mexico. Mexico City itself was built on the ruins of the one-time Tenochtitlan. There were Toltecs, Olmecs, Mayans and Aztecs here, and all the other folks hated the Aztecs, because they had this nasty habit of sacrificing the enemy they subdued in battles." 

"I see." Juliet frowned. "But isn't Tenochtitlan, I mean, Mexico City, quite far away from here? Why didn't the Aztecs build this Second Tenochtitlan somewhere near the original one? And if they built it here, not far from Chichén Itza, why didn't they name it second Chichén Itza?" 

"Because Chichén Itza was Mayan and Tenochtitlan was Aztec," young Fowl replied, getting slightly tired of the questions. "I believe they wanted to make sure that the conquistadors didn't find their hidden pyramid, that's why they built it as far from their capital as possible. That's why they built it on Mayan territory." 

"And didn't the Mayans forbid the Aztecs to build a pyramid on their territory?" wondered Juliet. 

"I take the Aztecs didn't ask for the Mayans' permission." Artemis shrugged. "Perhaps the Mayans never found out about Second Tenochtitlan." 

"Oh, I see. Tenochtitlan, Chichén Itza… what weird names, one can't NOT confuse them…" said Juliet contemplatively. 

"There are other names like Tikal, Uxmal, Yaxchlán, Palenque, Mitla and Teotihuacan. Just so that you can confuse them even more," grunted Artemis, wiping his beading forehead. He had been to extreme places before, almost froze to death in the Arctic, but never in his life had he _sweated_. It was an unsettling experience for him. 

"And what about Machu Picchu?" asked Juliet. 

"That's in South-America, in Peru." 

"Oh." 

"Would you please stop playing the living lexicon?" Holly snapped. "I'm trying to get in contact with Root." 

Artemis shrugged and Juliet stifled a chuckle. 

"Holly?" a crackling voice sounded from the fairy's wrist-microphone. "Do you copy?" 

"Yes, Julius. Everything's fine, we've arrived at Chichén Itza, chute A-2897 is completely safe. Are you ready for departure? Everything okay with the convicts?" 

"Everything's fine. We are setting off in a few hours," came the reply. 

"And what's that noise?" asked Holly with a frown. 

"Just the convicts quarrelling," answered Root in a tired voice. "Koboi is shouting at Diggums because Diggums grabbed her… ehm, bottom. But Diggums claims it was merely an accident…" Holly could almost see him rolling his eyes and allowed herself a smile. 

"Well, don't let them get out of hand," she advised her onetime superior. "And tell them to keep their hormones at bay." 

"I will. And Commander?" 

"Yes?" 

"Take care." 

"You too." Holly shut off the microphone and turned to face her two companions. "Well then, ready for a long walk?" 

Young Fowl nodded and with a bit of a struggle, he picked up one of the less heavy rucksacks. He, after all, was here to act as the mastermind, not to break a sweat. Juliet, on the other hand, easily lifted a nearly elephant-sized bag onto her back. 

After a few hours of walking and Artemis constantly getting tangled up in various bushes and vines; the spectacular pyramid of Chichén Itza dropped out of sight. The little group got swallowed up by the jungle. 

"Oh, what a pretty tree!" Juliet exclaimed, pointing at one of the nearby trees. 

"Musa paradisiaca," said Artemis, slapping a mosquito on his hand. 

"What?" the Butler girl blinked. 

"Banana palm," sighed Artemis, slapping the umpteenth mosquito. "What the heck do they think I am? Their buffet?" 

Holly couldn't help but grin, so she looked away. It was better not to aggravate an already mad Fowl. 

"And you? How come you two don't get eaten up by these little monsters?" demanded Artemis, madly flailing – to no avail, because the mosquitoes still regarded him as their lunch. 

"You know, we fairies have some natural protection against them," explained Holly. "Our skin emits some sort of a fragrance that is unnoticeable for humans and other fairies, but keeps these insects away." 

"And you?" Artemis turned to Juliet who was humming to herself. 

"I applied some mosquito-repellent, of course, while we were sitting in the shuttle…" 

"And you never told me?!?" breathed Artemis, his face turning red (with anger or with mosquito-bites, the girls couldn't tell). 

"Oops…" 

"I can't believe it! You're my bodyguard, for heaven's sake! It's your responsibility to keep me safe and sound!" 

"I'm sorry, Artemis." Juliet smiled apologetically and dropped her huge bag on the ground. "I'll find it for you. Though it might take some minutes… you know, whenever you're looking for something, you will find it at the very bottom of your bag…" 

"Right. You go find it. I'll go for a… walk till then," replied Artemis morosely. 

"I can't allow that," Juliet said. "You can't walk around in a dangerous forest unprotected!" 

"As if you cared…" grunted the young man. 

"I'll go with him," Holly offered. 

"You don't need to come." 

"But I do. Juliet can take care of herself, but you can't take care of yours-" 

"The call of nature, okay?" Artemis hissed through clenched teeth. 

"Oh. Then just… go," said the fairy absentmindedly. Artemis was so cute when embarrassed! Or was his face red because of the mosquitoes? "But… don't wander far away!" she added hastily. 

"Don't worry, I won't," said Artemis and disappeared into the shrubbery. 

Holly looked after him for a while then turned to Juliet, because she was feeling the young woman's gaze. "What?" she asked. 

"Nothing." Juliet shook her head. "Just a random thought." 

Holly gave her a questioning look. 

"All riiiiight." Juliet flopped down on her bag, the flask of mosquito-repellent already in her hand. "I just had the impression that you'd rather have gone after him and… _watched him_?" 

"Where do you get such… absurd ideas? And not only you, but… Koboi too." 

"Oh," Juliet grinned knowingly. "She told you and Artemis to get a room." 

"I seriously don't understand her." Holly sighed dramatically. 

"Are you sure you don't?" The Butler girl raised a blonde eyebrow at her. 

"Of course I am! I mean… there's nothing… possibly nothing between… That's completely insane! Fowl is arrogant, calculating, heartless… no wonder no woman ever wanted him! I mean…" Holly suddenly remembered her discussion with Artemis, in which he had told her about Juliet being more than just a bodyguard to him. Strangely, the memory of that discussion made her feel something like… pain? She banished the feeling from her heart and the memory from her mind. "…why would I, then?" she finished the sentence. 

"I cannot know that, can I?" Juliet sent Holly an innocent stare. "But you know, it's not true that no women ever wanted him…" 

"Huh?" Holly looked politely befuddled, but she had an idea whom the other woman could be referring to: herself. She couldn't help, but the mere mental image of Artemis and Juliet together made her stomach turn. Not that she didn't like Juliet; she regarded the Butler girl as a friend and wished her all the happiness in the world… just not with Artemis. 

Seeing Holly's expression and mistaking it for real confusion, Juliet grinned in a satisfied way. "I knew you'd be interested! It was quite funny actually. It happened so that-" 

However, she couldn't finish the story, for the young man stumbled out of a bush, a look of suffering on his face. 

"Something wrong, Artemis?" his bodyguard jumped up from the bag. 

"Bet he just pulled up the zipper too quick," Holly whispered, but not quiet enough. 

"No problems with the zipper, Commander," Artemis retorted. "Just those bloody mosquitoes…" He winced again. 

"You don't mean they bit you… _there_?" 

"Juliet, pass that flask, will you?" growled Artemis, ignoring Holly's comment.

* * *

Patrick groaned and rolled from his side onto his back. His eyes still closed, he listened. There was a shriek, but not a human one, neither that of a fairy. It rather sounded like a bird – a rather loud bird at that. There were no such birds in Haven, that's for sure. He didn't remember Quench having any sorts of pets either. He'd only once heard such a screech, in a Mud Man documentary on Discovery Channel. It was convenient that Foaly had made sure they'd get several Mud Man channels in Haven. 

The boy massaged his temples but still did not open his eyes. 

There was another screech. 

No, it was definitely no fairy or human, he decided. It must have been some tropical bird. 

_Tropical bird?_

Patrick opened his eyes and looked around. He was in some sort of a tent. How on earth had he got here? 

He propped his head into his palms, trying to remember. He had provided Quench with the substance that the fairy had named 'MMM' (Patrick grimaced at the thought of such a ridiculous name - H3OCS4N2Ca had been way better and much more scientific). Quench had then turned into a Mud Man replica and so did both of his bodyguards. Then they had offered Patrick some nourishment and he had again refused, even though he hadn't eaten anything for several days. 

_That must be it_, he thought. He must have passed out again, and it was more than likely that he had been given a new infusion of Obedience Serum. 

But why had Quench brought him here? And where exactly was _here_? 

He stood up from the cot, almost tripped over a cap lying on the floor, and walked to the entrance of the tent. He pulled back the heavy material hanging over the 'door' and gasped. No wonder he'd heard a tropical bird! Wherever he looked, he saw lush green shrubbery and trees towering over the bushes, vines hanging off their branches. He even spotted the 'culprit' that had awoken him from his dream: it was a red-yellow-blue plumed parrot swinging on a garland of orchids. 

"Up, are you?" called a gruff voice from the left. 

Patrick turned in the direction of the voice and noticed one of Quench's Mud Man-turned guards pointing a Neutrino at him.   
"Yeah, I'm up and about. What's this place?" 

"The jungle," came the curt reply. 

"I assumed that much myself," said the boy in his know-it-all voice. "But _which_ jungle? You know, there are jungles everywhere near the Equator. In Central-Africa, Central- and South-America, India, Indonesia, and even some parts of Australia." 

The human-looking fairy frowned in a confused way, as though he hadn't heard of half of these places. 

"So, which one is this jungle?" pressed Patrick. 

"How should I know?" grunted the guard. "Get back into the tent this instant! And stop poking out! And put your cap back on!" 

"Cap?" the boy raised an eyebrow at his 'jailer', fighting with the urge to obey this instant and return into the tent. 

"The one we'd put on your head to cover your ears, that one!" 

"Oh. Must have fallen off while I was sleeping." Patrick shrugged, remembering the cap he'd trodden on. "Why should I keep my ears hidden?" 

"Why, why, because Miss Frazetti and her folks mustn't know what you are!" grunted the guard. 

"Miss Who?" 

"None of your business! Get back into the tent and put your cap on!" 

Patrick sighed, feeling that resistance was futile. The Obedience Serum was flowing through his veins, forcing him to do as said. "All right. But tell your master I want to see him. Right now. He has to explain what's going on here!" 

"Mister Quench doesn't have to explain anything to you, you insolent little brat!" snapped the guard. 

"Just tell him. He will come," replied the boy calmly. 

"Right. But don't escape!" 

"How could I?" Patrick rolled his eyes and disappeared into the tent. 

In the tent he sank onto the cot, his mind in turmoil. What the heck were they doing in a jungle? And who was this Miss Frazetti? What did that idiot Quench have in mind? And why didn't he release him after he'd finished the required serum? What else could that perverted fairy need him for? 

He didn't need to wait long, for Quench appeared in five minutes, looking affronted, even though barely anything was visible of his face. Patrick could practically sense the anger emanating from Quench's body. 

"What do you think of yourself?" spat the fairy upon entering. "Demanding to see me? Who do you think you are?" 

"Someone important," said the boy coolly. 

Quench's eyes narrowed. "Important? You? Don't make me laugh." 

Patrick pursed his lips, making a comically contemplative face. "If I weren't important, you would have released me or just left me at your headquarters. But no, you brought me along here… really, where exactly are we? Your guard refused to tell me, but I suspect he was just too dumb to be able to tell the difference between Africa and America." 

"Well…" Quench seemed to hesitate for a minute. "It wouldn't hurt to tell you where we are, would it? This is the Yucatan peninsula, my boy." 

"Southern Mexico, then." 

Quench nodded. 

"And what are we doing here? Who is this Frazetti woman your guard mentioned? The human contact you acquired looking like a Mud Man? I hope you aren't still on about that vendetta against the People…" 

"Actually, I am." Quartz grinned. 

"Oh. And may I ask what this jungle has to do with your pathetic attempt at taking revenge?" 

"A lot, my boy. More than you'd think. But you aren't to know it – yet. You will know it, when the time comes." 

There was something in Quench's smile that sent a shiver down Patrick's spine. He had a very bad feeling about this. 

"In the future refrain from sending my guards to me demanding that I visit you. I have more important things to care for than chatting with a snot-nosed kid like you. And put that cap on! Wear it day and night! My Mud Friends must not see your ears. This way if they spot you, they will think you're just a human boy, if a bit of a shrimp." 

All Patrick could do was nod. 

Quench had almost left the tent when the boy shouted after him: "And when are you going to release me?" 

"Soon, my boy. Soon. If everything goes well, then in less than a week, at full moon. If not, then next full moon." With that he exited the tent, leaving the confounded boy alone. Alone, wondering what this little jungle-trip and the whole revenge-on-the-People had to do with each other. Patrick always used to like jigsaw puzzles, but this time he felt that too many pieces were missing to make a complete picture…

* * *

Artemis dropped himself on his sleeping bag with an expression of suffering on his face. Actually this expression hadn't left his face since he'd visited the 'men's room' behind a bush. 

"Does it hurt very much?" asked Juliet compassionately. 

"Hurts and itches at the same time," muttered the young man quietly, so that only Juliet next to him would hear it, and Holly - who happened to be planting little brown gadgets all around their camp - wouldn't. However, fairies have far better hearing than humans… 

"Poor Artemis, it must be bad," Holly remarked with a small smile after she had placed the last gadget on the ground. "You know, I have to spare my magic, that's why I don't think I should try and heal you. Not that I wouldn't want to, but-" Suddenly she realised that she'd left herself open for Artemis to retort; and Artemis, being as clever and teasing as he was, immediately reacted: 

"Bet you'd love to _heal it… to put your hand on it_…" 

"Why you perverted…" Holly hissed, blood rushing into her face. 

Juliet seemed to be amused for some reason. 

"I'd never put my hand there!" snapped the fairy at the grinning 'Mud Boy'. "Not even if it were close to falling off and only my magic could keep it in place!" 

"Ow. Don't give me such horrible mental images," groaned Artemis. "And if you're not giving me a healing… _massage_, then at least give me an Aspirin. Or anything that will lessen the pain and would help me fall asleep." 

"I could _mesmerise_ you to believe that you aren't feeling any pain," Holly offered. 

"No thanks, I don't feel like being in your power." Artemis shook his head. 

"Why, don't you trust me?" The fairy asked, challengingly raising her eyebrows. 

"Should I?" Artemis leaned a bit closer to look into her eyes. 

"Hem-hem…" Juliet cleared her throat, reminding the other two of her presence. "Holly, I wanted to ask what these little things were that you put on the ground." 

"Oh, those. They are Foaly's invention, of course… well, what _isn't_ Foaly's invention?" the commander replied. "If they are put around a camp or a smaller house, and get activated, then they function as a shield - an invisible shield that makes everyone within the shield unnoticeable for unwanted people and animals. It is programmed to recognise the three of us and will always let us leave the shield's protection area and return there, but it won't allow anyone else to spot us." 

"So no one but the three of us can see our camp?" wondered Juliet. 

"Exactly." Holly nodded. "To the wild animals this small circle is a blind spot. For them there is absolutely nothing here, it doesn't even exist to the outside world." 

"Brilliant," whistled the Butler girl admiringly, then slapped her hands over her mouth. "But wild animals can still smell or h_ear us_, can't they?" 

"No. The shield is smell- and sound proof. We can hear everything that is happening outside but the outsiders can't see or hear us while we are in here. The shield also keeps the heat inside, so animals sensitive to heat-emission can't notice us either." 

"And what if an animal or anyone happens to wander through the 'empty spot' where our camp is?" Juliet frowned. "If an animal sees it as a mere clearing with nice, soft grass, then it might get the idea to come and lie down here a bit." 

"That's the best about it," replied Holly. "The trick is that people as well as animals could walk into this apparently empty spot without sensing the shield or running into any of us." 

"The camp exists in another dimension, then," Artemis concluded. 

Holly nodded while Juliet's eyes widened. She, as Madam Ko's acolyte had gone through some mechanics training besides the physical and mental ones, but phrases like 'existing in different dimensions' sounded a bit too much for her. 

"This little shield reminds me of my own invention. The tent that Butler and I used for catching you," Artemis told Holly in a tired yet slightly nostalgic tone. One would have sworn that there was a 'those good old times' sort of tone clinging to the young man's voice. But it lasted only for a few seconds, and soon the arrogant Artemis was back. "Now, Juliet, be so kind and get me some painkiller if you've brought any, then stop talking you two, and let me sleep." 

"Oh. You mean we're bothering you?" snapped Holly, her arms akimbo. 

"Actually, you are," yawned the young man and slipped into his sleeping bag. "Especially you, dear Commander." 

Holly was on the verge of shouting something rude at him, but rather turned on her heels and trotted out of the shield's circle.   
Juliet ran after her. With her long legs she soon managed to catch up with the tiny fairy and grabbed her arm to stop her. 

"What?" snapped Holly, turning to face the other girl. 

"I could ask you the same," Juliet pointed out. 

"It's… it's just… Fowl! That foul, arrogant idiot! I'm fed up with him! That man doesn't have a heart! He can't understand what I'm feeling now; all he does is give me his nonchalant little replies, not having the slightest idea that it might hurt me! Not having the slightest idea that he's getting on my nerves! He doesn't respect my pain, he doesn't give a damn about Patrick, I bet… I bet he came along for this trip for another reason, there's no way Artemis Fowl wouldn't be seeking to make advantage of the direst situations! He doesn't give a damn about our son! It wasn't him staying up when Patrick was ill… it wasn't him changing his nappies for two whole years, it wasn't him… wasn't… how could he understand, then?" 

Even Juliet had been taken aback by Holly's tirade; it was so forceful, so passionate that she felt swept away by it. However, at the end the words pouring out of Holly's mouth started to get weaker and weaker, and now she was gazing at the ground, shaking. She seemed close to tears but blinked them back. 

"Ehm… may I say something?" said the Butler girl. 

Holly shrugged. 

"Well, you said it wasn't him who'd tended Patrick so he couldn't feel what you're feeling. Forgive me for saying this; but it was your fault that he never knew about the boy. You and your fairy friends kept it a secret from him, after all. It is your fault if Artemis doesn't feel a thing for his son. You never even gave him a chance to get to know the boy. And… what gives you the idea that he doesn't feel anything at all? Artemis is quite good at hiding his emotions. Actually, I think all this show that he's putting up is part of hiding his feelings." 

Holly looked up to meet Juliet's eyes with a confused expression. 

"You know, Artemis isn't really a bad boy," Juliet carried on. "He just had a difficult childhood with no one to turn to… I think he was never really a child. One should learn to express emotions as a kid, but since he lacked childhood, he never learnt it. The only thing he learned is to act indifferently." 

"And what about the teasing, the snide remarks?" Holly frowned. 

"I must admit those are quite new. I never before saw them coming from Artemis. I believe it's a result of his missing childhood." 

"Yeah, he mentioned something like that last night," the fairy muttered. "He said he had never had a girl around to tease, except you, but he knew well enough not to tease you." 

"Perhaps because he never liked me that way," replied Juliet knowingly. 

"Never _liked_ you?" Holly blinked. "Do you mean he keeps teasing me because he _likes_ me?" 

"Yeah." 

"That's rubbish." 

"Isn't. Don't tell me that none of your male schoolmates ever teased you because they liked you!" 

"I… dunno. Perhaps they did, but Art… Fowl is different. He's no schoolboy!" 

"But he's behaving like one. And that's because he likes you," said Juliet matter-of-factly. "It's a new feeling for him and he doesn't know how to react, so he behaves like an annoying teenager." 

"Oh, come on, how could he like me?" Holly waved irritably. "And what did you mean by saying that he never liked _you_?" 

"What do you think I meant by it? It's as clear as crystal. I'm not his type of woman." 

"Then what was that little 'work relationship' between the two of you?" Holly crossed her arms. 

"What are you talking about?" 

"You two were lovers." 

"We were what?" Juliet's eyes widened. Even though it started to get dark, Holly could well see the shock on the other girl's face. 

"So… you weren't?" 

"Of course we weren't! Why did you think we were?" 

"Artemis told me." Holly shrugged. 

"Oh. He wanted to make you jealous," Juliet concluded. 

"Well, if he did, then he chose a very bad way of doing that!" 

"Perhaps it wasn't that bad a way…" mused young Butler. "After all, you believed it and you were jealous." 

"I wasn't." 

"Yes, you were." 

"I wasn't!" retorted Holly, close to laughing. This was somehow hilarious, even though she felt like strangling Artemis. But then again, when did she not feel like strangling him? 

"Yes, you were!" Juliet snickered. 

"All right, perhaps a bit," Holly gave in. "But… but if it wasn't you, then… I don't get it." 

"What?" 

"Earlier today you said that there were women who actually _wanted him_… though I really don't see why they would, but…" 

"Oh, that." Juliet waved and flopped down on a fallen tree trunk. Holly took a place opposite her on a mossy rock. 

"Yeah," the blonde girl began, "there were several women who wanted him… but trust me, not for his good looks or his wonderful manners." 

Holly chuckled into her palms. There was no woman on earth who'd like Fowl for his manners. "Er… why then?" 

"His money, obviously. It so happened that the old Fowl couple advised Artemis to get married and provide them with an heir. It must have been over a year ago. Artemis wasn't at all charmed by the idea, but he promised his parents that he'd at least try. And can you guess what he did?" 

"Went to parties to get to know some ladies?" Holly guessed. 

"Nope. He did something much less romantic – something you could actually expect from someone like Artemis Fowl II. Ehm… you _could _expect it from him, but it still shocked everyone in the family." 

"Why? What did he do?" 

"He advertised in the _Irish Times_ and several international newspapers and magazines." 

"Advertised?" Holly didn't know whether to tut or laugh. 

"Yeah." Juliet grinned with a reminiscing expression. "It was ridiculous. So ridiculous that I memorised every word of that advertisement." 

"Care to recount it to me?" 

"Of course," the blonde girl giggled for a while, then straightened her back and her face to look as solemn as possible. "It was the following text: _Irish millionaire too busy to date is seeking wife for the purpose of reproduction. Pretty young ladies between 18-30 are expected to respond. Natural red hair a plus, an IQ of at least 120 a must. We are going to test it! Address, telephone number, etc. etc_…" 

Now Holly really didn't know whether to gape like a fish or laugh uncontrollably. "And… and how many women responded to this?" 

"Oh, it was a nightmare," sighed Juliet. "One hundred and forty two! And we had to test them all! Each of them had to fill in an IQ test first, and only those thirty-seven who got a result over 120 were allowed to meet Artemis in person. Certainly twenty-nine of them had dyed their hair red, but Artemis couldn't be fooled. He talked to each of them for about two minutes then told his parents that he didn't like any of them. You can imagine Angeline's crestfallen face. At first she had been against her son's method of acquiring a wife, but later she started to hope, and then what did Arty do? He ruined all her hopes." 

"I think it's perhaps better this way, isn't it?" said Holly. "After all, Artemis is no father material. Had he got married and fathered a child, that poor thing would have had to put up with such a jerk for a father." 

Juliet bit into her lower lip, thinking. "I don't know. Perhaps if he'd managed to marry someone whom he could love, then he would care for their child as well. He just needs to find the proper woman." 

"Yeah, I suppose he does," replied Holly, standing up from the rock. "It's a shame though that it isn't you." She didn't even know why she'd said that. Only a few hours earlier the idea of Artemis and Juliet in a relationship had made her sick. Now that she knew that there had been absolutely nothing between the two, she felt more accepting towards the idea. As if Artemis's happiness were at least a bit important to her. Perhaps it even was. And if she had to imagine a woman at Fowl's side, then let it rather be someone like Juliet – someone trustworthy, who would stay with him for something else not his money… 

"A shame? I don't think so," answered the Butler girl. "Artemis and me aren't made for each other. For one, we never quarrel like an old married couple," she added with a wink. 

"You mean _we_ do?" Holly pouted. "Fowl and I?" 

"Yeah, you do. By the way, didn't you wonder why Artemis had put '_natural red hair a plus_' into his ad?" 

"No, I didn't," lied Holly. Of course she did! But it couldn't mean that Fowl had subconsciously 'remembered' her hair when he'd drafted the advertisement, could it? Noooo… She shook her head in disbelief. 

"So you two aren't an item. And I thought you only became his bodyguard for… personal reasons. I mean… to protect your beloved." 

"Nah. Not that I don't like Arty, but I like him as a brother. A very annoying little brother whom I feel like punching most of the time," Juliet replied with a wide grin. 

"Why did you become a bodyguard, then? Before the mind-wipe I told you that you were no bodyguard-material because you had too much heart, and you even agreed!" 

"I did. But the mind-wipe came, and I forgot that I did. Still, somehow my desire to get that blue diamond tattoo all but vanished… so I tried out for an American wrestling team. But soon I realised that it wasn't the job for me either, so I returned to Ireland and took on to guard Artemis, especially because Dom was getting weaker and weaker…" Juliet shrugged. "Now I'm only occasionally wrestling in an Irish club as a hobby, and protecting a Fowl as a job. Just like a Butler should." 

"I see," Holly nodded, just when an arrow penetrated the tree two inches from her left ear. 

"What the…?" cursed Holly, ducking into the shrubbery. Juliet, with her reflexes honed in Madam Ko's bodyguard school, had already pulled her tiny blaster out of its holster and was crawling forward in the undergrowth. 

"Juliet…" 

"Shhh!" the Butler girl pressed her index finger on her lips and beckoned to her companion to crawl next to her. Knowing that Juliet was the expert on hiding and ambush, Holly obeyed. She knew she could have shielded instead of hiding behind bushes, but resonating on a high frequency was quite troublesome in a thick jungle. 

The further they crept through the undergrowth, the more clearly they heard voices coming from the direction the arrow had come from. 

Suddenly Juliet halted and held out a hand to stop Holly as well. The fairy saw that they had arrived at the edge of a clearing. Although darkness had descended upon the jungle, the clearing wasn't completely dark – portable lamps were hanging on several tents and there was even a fire in the middle of the camp. 

People were moving nearby, some of them laughing, one of them trying to shout, but all he managed to utter was a 'mmmph'. He must have been gagged. 

As they reached into the circle of a nearby lamp, their faces got illuminated enough for Holly and Juliet to make out their features. 

There was a fairly young but very strict-looking woman who seemed to be giving orders to two of her gorillas. The latter were dressed mostly in leather and seemed to be carrying at least a dozen guns each. One of them even had a pirate-like eye patch over his left eye. 

The gorillas seemed to be dragging a third person; who was madly wriggling in their grip, trying to break free. He seemed to be a native, adorned with various feathers. To a more experienced eye it would have been obvious that those were quetzal feathers. 

"That must be the one who'd shot the arrow," whispered Juliet to Holly. 

"You mean he'd tried to shoot his attackers but missed?" Holly whispered back. 

"Yeah. It's clear that the arrow wasn't meant for us." 

"Well, that's a relief," replied the fairy sarcastically. "Who do you think these people are? Could they be…?" 

Juliet shrugged. "Possible. That chick there could be Frazetti, and these two blokes in leather could be some of her infamous metal men. Though, I'd rather call them Leather Men…" 

"If that's Frazetti," mused Holly, "then it is possible that Quench is here… and… Patrick!" 

Without thinking she moved forward, and had Juliet not had such wonderful reflexes, then Holly would have unwittingly revealed their position to the supposed enemy. 

"Don't!" hissed the blonde girl, grabbing Holly's arm and pulling her back. 

Holly shuddered and hung her head as the realisation struck her that she could easily have ruined everything. "Sorry. I don't know what got into me. As a LEP commander, I'm supposed to be long past such hot-headed actions! I don't even deserve to be commander!" 

"But of course you do," Juliet whispered, gently squeezing the fairy's arm. "And you're a good commander. Just a bit… over-emotional." 

Holly smiled bitterly. "That's what Foaly says all the time: elves are emotional creatures." 

They directed their attention back to the clearing and saw that the woman told something to her gorillas then departed. The two bulky men bound the unfortunate Indian to a nearby tree then they left too. 

"Do you reckon we could look for your son now?" wondered Juliet. "You could shield and look around a bit, and I could free this poor bloke until then…" 

"No." Holly shook her head. "No more hot-headedness. If Quench and some of his fairy cronies are here, disguised as Mud People, then they could easily spot me when I peek into their tents, even if I'm shielded. To a Mud Person, shielded fairies are just a shimmer in the air, but to other fairies that shimmer is a dead giveaway. We can't risk that. Not even… not even if my son is just a hundred feet away, waiting for me in one of the tents…" A tremor ran down her body, but she forced herself not to tremble. She had to be strong. "We have to stick to the plan." 

"All right. But we could still free this poor chap here." Juliet pointed at the native American. 

"I'm not sure about this, Juliet… it could screw up everything. If Artemis finds out that we did anything that wasn't part of the plan…" 

"What? Are you afraid of Arty?" 

"Of course not! It's just… all right, let's do it." With that Holly began rearranging her auburn locks, to cover her pointy ears as much as possible. Sensing the other girl's surprised look on herself, she explained: "The Indian has to believe I'm a human too. A very short human, but a human nevertheless. I'm going to shield and switch off that lamp. When the light is out, run to the tree and cut the ropes. And _not _with your Neutrino. With a knife. I expect you have one?" 

"Of course I do, but why-?" 

"Because if the ropes are cut by a knife, then the captors might think it was done by another Indian. But if they see laser-burns on the ropes, they'll know that someone with a more advanced technology is around," said Holly quietly. "Quench will know it's the result of a fairy blaster, he'll know we are around, and he'll start a hunt for us. That's the last thing we need." 

"Good thinking," Juliet admitted and pulled a knife out of her right boot. 

In less than a minute the light near the aforementioned tree went out and Juliet set into action. 

The Indian stiffened as he felt that someone was cutting his bonds from behind. 

Holly carefully looked around and unshielded before the captive, pressing her index finger on her lips to show that the man should remain silent, even though he was still gagged, thus not capable of shouting. 

The ropes fell off and Juliet gently grabbed the bewildered Indian's arms and led him into the forest.

* * *

Artemis hadn't slept for a single minute. First, because the mosquito bites still itched and hurt, especially on the most sensitive part of his body. Stupid Juliet had just stormed away following Holly, forgetting to give him an Aspirin or whatever they had for painkiller. Artemis, however, regarded it as beneath his dignity to start rummaging through the girl's rucksack, not to mention that it was big enough to swallow Artemis if he accidentally fell into it in the middle of a search for Aspirin. So he rather decided to wait for the girls to return. 

He waited. 

And waited. 

And waited some more. 

The girls still didn't turn up. 

Artemis was getting slightly worried. He tried to convince himself that the reason for his worry was that his pain wouldn't go away until he got a painkiller, and if the two females didn't turn up any time soon, then he'd have a sleepless night. 

Yes, Artemis tried to lull himself into the belief that he was worried about himself. But as the time passed he realised with dismay that he was worried about the girls. Especially about the shorter one. 

What if something had happened to them? 

_No, Juliet would protect Holly_, he told himself. 

But what if Juliet got into trouble and Holly was trying to save her, to no avail? 

_I'm going to regret this_, he thought and picked up a torch and a blaster.

* * *

Every crack in the undergrowth made him cringe and look around nervously, pointing the torch in the direction the crack had come from. He never spotted any animal. Either the animals were damn good at hiding or Artemis was getting horribly paranoid. 

A cricket chirped nearby and something soared above, whipping its wings rather loudly. _Probably bats_, he thought, but the idea didn't calm him a bit. Such ugly, leathery creatures gave him the creeps. Bats were almost as ugly as goblins, for heaven's sake! B_ut look at its positive side_, he told himself, _bats at least don't carry around Softnoses_. 

Something flashed at him and he almost dropped the torch. It was the eyes of an owl. It hooted at Artemis in an unfriendly way.   
Rolling his eyes at his own cowardice, Artemis continued to walk in the direction he'd seen Holly and Juliet disappear. 

After ten minutes of walking he decided never again to set foot in any jungle. It was definitely the most frightening experience of his life. Certainly, he had been in tough situations before, but then there had always been someone to help him, support him. In the Arctic there had been Butler, Root and Holly. In Koboi Labs there had been Butler, Root, Mulch and Holly. In Spiro Needle there had been Holly. Holly had always been there… 

Despite the seriousness of the situation and his ever-growing sense of insecurity, Artemis allowed himself a smile. Holly had always helped, no matter what… She'd healed Butler after the troll-incident, and did it out of the goodness of her heart. She'd healed his mother, and for some reason Artemis had the feeling that Holly would have done it even without getting back half of the ransom. Holly had also tried to persuade Root not to mind-wipe him. It had been a futile attempt, but at least she'd tried. At least she'd cared. But did he deserve her caring? 

At that moment he felt that he did not. True, he had been sort of nice to her the previous evening, trying to alleviate her concerns, but he didn't do it completely out of the goodness of his heart. Something that terribly resembled pangs of remorse bit into his chest. He didn't like the feeling. It was almost humiliating - unworthy of a Fowl!

* * *

"I think it'd be better to take a detour to get back to Artemis," Juliet spoke up when they had got far enough from Frazetti's camp to speak aloud. 

"Right." Holly nodded. "Time to remove the gag of our friend, don't you think?" 

"Are you sure he won't shout?" 

"He won't. I'll tell him not to," replied the fairy and turned to the Indian. "My companion is going to remove your gag if you promise that you won't shout. Just nod your head." 

The native nodded. 

"Oh, now I understand," said Juliet, "you're wearing a translator, aren't you? It works both ways, right? You understand all languages and everyone understands you." 

"Yeah." 

Juliet removed the gag. "There you go, little fellow. You're free." 

The Indian dropped to his knees and began to gabble. 

"What is he saying?" Juliet frowned. 

"He's saying thanks to the goddesses Chalchihuitlcue and Coyolxauhqui for saving him from evil white men with fire-spitting arms." 

"Goddesses?" Juliet looked around, searching for the aforementioned divine ladies. 

"He thinks _we_ are the goddesses," Holly explained in an amused voice. "You may rise," she turned to the Indian. 

"Cool," the blonde woman chuckled. "Just wait till I tell my friends in the wrestling club that someone mistook me for Chalkcue or Coyotetail." 

"Listen," the fairy addressed the man again, "we are heading back to our camp. You may return to your folk now." 

"No. Emerald Snake would like to serve the two goddesses to pay them for rescuing Emerald Snake from the clutches of evil," the Indian replied, still not standing up. 

"What is he saying?" asked Juliet. 

"He wants to serve us. I think he believes he owes us a life-debt or something of the sort." 

"Well, that's not bad at all, is it? He could help us carry our luggage. My rucksack weighs fifty kilos, and Artemis also seems to have problems carrying his own seven-kilo one…" 

Holly couldn't help but giggle. Even though Artemis seemed to have developed some muscles due to the home gym he'd allegedly ordered from TV Shop, he wasn't much stronger than he had been as a thirteen-year-old. 

"We can't use this poor fellow, Juliet." Holly said finally. 

"Why not? He knows the jungle better than any of us or any of Frazetti's gang. He could even lead us to the pyramid…" 

The commander seemed contemplative for a moment. "Well, perhaps… But we must ask Artemis's opinion of this…"

* * *

Artemis was getting really worried. The creepy sounds of the jungle night kept growing louder and louder, every ugly little yellow pair of eyes seemed to be following his steps and he got more and more convinced that he'd got lost. The girls were still nowhere to be seen or heard. The only more or less calming sound he heard was the rushing of water, but as he thought further, he had to realise that the presence of water shouldn't be a calming factor, given that it indeed meant he'd got lost. He didn't even have the slightest idea in which direction he had come and cursed his stupidity for not bringing a compass from the camp. 

It must be the end, if HE, Artemis Fowl the Second, started to act insensibly - he thought bitterly. If only the foliage would become thinner and he could have a look at the stars, then perhaps he could establish which direction were North and South.   
After another five minutes the trees indeed began to thin and the ground started to slope a bit, towards the river. Now Artemis got a fairly good view of the night sky and spotted Polaris to his left. Good. This meant he had come from the West. 

Suddenly he heard movement. It definitely wasn't that 'little monkeys stirring in the trees' sort of movement; it rather sounded like humans trotting through the knee-high grass. He twirled around and immediately spotted three figures – two of them of normal height, one of them barely higher than the grass itself. 

Thank heaven, he heaved a sigh or relief. Holly was safe and with Juliet. But who was the third person? Well, the three seemed to be walking next to each other, and none of them were pushing the others or holding the others in any way, so Artemis was sure that the third person must have come willingly with the girls and wasn't acting like someone who had the intention of holding them as hostages. 

In the shadow of a riverside tree, Artemis started to wave. He decided not to wave with his torch lit, given that they were on an open area, and light-signs could be seen easier here than in the thick forest; and he didn't want to risk that someone besides the girls and their companion would notice him. 

"Look, that's Arty!" Juliet pointed at him and started hurrying in his direction. 

The third person bent down to tell something to Holly, or rather to _ask_ her something, because she seemed to be answering, gesturing towards Artemis. 

"Hey, Arty, what are you doing here?" asked Juliet as she reached up to him. 

"I just… fancied a bit of walk," replied the young man coldly. He wouldn't sink so low as to admit he'd been worried! 

"Oh. A walk," Juliet echoed him in a dubious voice. 

"Yeah. A walk. What's so strange about me going for a walk?" 

"Oh, nothing… just that you always used to be scared of night time strolls when Butler wasn't there," said the girl in a sugar-sweet voice, but Artemis could easily detect the hidden mocking in it. "Why, I remember that once you were left alone in Mrs. Fowl's arbour only fifty feet from the house, and you were dead scared that the crickets would eat you alive. When Butler brought you into the house, you were wailing about evil human-eating crickets… You weren't on a fancy night time stroll, admit it." 

Artemis felt like giving the impudent girl a lecture on child-psychology and the kids' natural fear of insects, when something gently fell on his shoulder. 

"Aaaaaarrghhh!" he screamed, and still feeling the weight on his shoulder, he started to flail his hands, dropping his torch and blaster. 

"That's a gecko, just a tiny gecko…" Juliet began, trying to get the unfortunate animal off her charge, but Artemis wouldn't even let her go near him with all the flailing. 

"Stop that, Artemis, I'm trying to help, and shut up, will you…?" Juliet pleaded and with a determined move, she caught the young man's arms in one hand and grabbed the scared-to-death gecko with the other. 

Artemis, however, seemed to have cracked under the weight of this 'night time stroll'. All the creepy jungle sounds, all the popping yellow eyes had caused him quite a bit of a trauma, and the gecko was the last straw. Adrenaline rushing through his veins, he instinctively yanked himself back from Juliet's grip. The girl with the poor gecko in hand lost her balance and tumbled into the water. 

Artemis lost balance too and ended up on his bottom, madly gasping for breath. 

"What the heck was that, Fowl?" Holly ran up to him. 

"A… rather… dangerous… reptile… attacked me…" 

"And Juliet?" Holly picked the fallen torch off the ground, switched it on and directed its beam on the river. 

"Juliet…" grunted Artemis, deciding that he'd never forgive the girl for not noticing and not catching that horrible _cockatrice_ in the air before it could have descended onto his shoulder. "Some bodyguard she is…" 

"Some bodyguard she _was_…" Holly whispered in state of shock. 

"What?" Artemis blinked. 

"She disappeared," came the fairy's reply. "The river… It… must've taken her away… or killed her." 

"That's impossible," muttered Artemis, and too weakened by the 'gecko shock' to stand up, crawled to Holly and stared into the swift river. The elf had been right – this river wasn't a peaceful, slow-drifting one, this would have been a paradise for the lovers of extreme sports with its rapids and several rocks. 

His stomach contracted and a lump rose in his throat. It can't be possible that they'd lost Juliet! Juliet was one of the best! She'd got her blue diamond tattoo in Madam Ko's school! She was an elite bodyguard, for heaven's sake! Someone who couldn't be killed by a stupid gecko! 

And yet it seemed that she was. 

Forgetting about his intention of remaining inconspicuous to possible enemies, he shouted into the night. 

"JULIEEEEEEET!"

* * *

**A/N**: poor Juliet, what happened to her?   
Well, at least Artemis and Holly are left alone now (well, almost ;)   
Review, please! 


	12. The last of the Aztecs

**Author's note:**another record-length chapter, hope you enjoy :) 

_TrunkZy:_ Arty is clever in almost all areas, but when it comes to emotions, he's pretty dumb. For example he cannot tell love from desire, at least for the time being. Later perhaps he will...;)

_Hyperkitti_: I'm glad you decided to read this, even though this isn't a HP fic. I was grinning all the way through your review, thanks for all the wonderful things you wrote, it truly warmed my heart :)

_Mistri, Tonks' Admirer_: yes, the age/speed of aging difference will always be a problem for Arty/Holly, but... love conquers all difficulties ;) I never knew Howard Carter discovered Machu Picchu, I only knew that he discovered Tutanhamon's grave.

_LittleGreenPerson_: glad you liked the girl talk. Actually that was the original title of chapter 11, but I renamed it later, after 'George of the jungle' (gotta love that movie!). How many people are taking part in this 'write a novel in a month' thingie?

_C-chan1_: yes, Holly DOES have red hair (well, at least _reddish_). Arty subconsciously 'remembered' her hair colour after the mind-wipe and wanted a wife with red hair. I had no idea that an Evil Overlord list existed at all.

_ILOVELINKINPARK222_: of course I remember you - your username is so unique that I just couldn't forget it ;) Glad to see you around again!

_Obsessive Perfectionist_: I don't love Juliet but don't hate her either, and I'm not evil enough to kill her off ;)

_TinkerBell394587_: why do you have to learn Be Our Guest? Just wondering... for some school peagant, perhaps? I always loved that song (and the whole Beauty and the beast movie), but I wouldn't try singing it - I have a horrible singing voice.

_Myfanwy 214_: I did some research on the Aztecs, but not too extensive. I read 'Angry Aztecs' by Terry Deary and searched for Aztec mythology on the web. That's all.

_WackedOutPet:_ can't answer that yet, you'll have to wait till chapter 21.

_EvilSpirit_: I'm Hungarian, not Australian. English isn't my first language. Dunno if I'm writing in Australian English... I'm rather trying to write in British English.

_animezebra_: Juliet simply fell into the river (Artemis was flailing with his hands to get rid of the gecko and accidentally knocked her into the river). There are no portkeys in this fanfic, and there will be no wands, no invisibility cloaks, no Nimbus 2000's, no Snitches and no Hungarian Hortnails either ;)

_AprilEchidna_: the story has 21 chapters, and is about 200 Word pages long (written in Times New Roman, size 12).

_Holly Rox_: actually I've read many-many A/H romances and only ONE had them in bed at the beginning of the fic (that was _Fowl Feelings_ and got taken off ffnet) - truth be told I've been waiting for other stories like that for ages but no one has written any! Can you suggest me such fics if they truly exist? ;)

_Cyberspace_: answer to your question/comment in this chapter.

_Yuffie Paine:_ I half reserached, half invinted :)

_sophianwin_: dangerous animals? You have no idea - very wicked grin-

_Epsilon2Delta_: yup, Juliet doesn't really have a personality in canon, especially in the first book (I hated her in the first book, but after the third one I learned to accept her and no longer hate her - but I'm still not too fond of her). I enjoy writing exotic places a lot, so perhaps that's why that is what I'm the best at :)

_amber:_ if I wrote a sequel, then I would include a part about Arty's parents finding out about Holly and Patrick. But there's no space for that in this fic.

_kirby freak:_ I'm absolutely sure this is PG-13, not R. Well, it does have a few _strong_ PG-13 moments, but it never oversteps the mark. A real R fic is for example my 'Starry night and racoon bite' in which there _is_ some sex. In this fic there's none. There is desire, yes, but never sex, so it's not R-rated.

_yan_: me too. Especially if that someone that the lovely boy genius was shagging happened to be one female LEP captain ;) But there are NO such fics out there! - sighs-

Also thanks to: _Aerin131, CrazyInsanity, neutralgal, septempopuli, Indigo Ziona, trohS-ylloH, utena, Paranoidish, Llama Child, sabouki, BeatlesLover, luckyducky7too, Marfbag, manveri mirkiel, Lady Emerald Black, Llama Child, amopet4, leonsalanna, Cherri J.M. Ookami_

* * *

**Chapter 12**

**The last of the Aztecs**

"JULIEEEEEEET!"

"Shut up, Mud Boy, if you don't want Frazetti and her gorillas all swarming here!" snapped Holly at the desperate Artemis.

"Frazetti?" Artemis blinked.

"Yeah, _Frazetti_. You know, the woman who works for Quench and who is possibly terrorising our son along with Quench _right now_!" replied Holly with as much sarcasm as she could put into her voice to suppress its shaking quality. She'd just started to realise what losing Juliet meant. Luckily Artemis hadn't given the Butler girl any vital role in their mission besides the body-guarding duty, but still… if Fowl could get this hysterical about a bloody gecko in Juliet's presence, then Holly didn't dare imagine just _how hysterical_ he could get about any other future dangers in Juliet's absence. Some father she had chosen for her son! But, no. It had been _Root's idea_. Holly would never have considered having a child by Artemis Fowl. Would she?

No, she definitely wouldn't.

Now that she thought it over, it seemed quite unbelievable to her that Fowl had ever shown any sign of courage. Probably that brave train-climbing on the Arctic had been a mere mistake of Artemis's. Apart from that incident, this Mud Boy only dared to be brave when he could rely on his brains. Apparently attack by geckos didn't fall into the category.

"Look who's shouting now," Artemis pointed out coolly.

"I wasn't shouting as loudly as you were!" the fairy retorted. Artemis listened to her with narrowed eyes, but he seemed to be regaining his composure. Holly, however, was losing it. "And at least I have every right to shout at you, you imbecile!" she carried on passionately. "Thanks to you, Oh Artemis Lionheart, we lost an important member of our hit team and perhaps even alerted every single soul in Frazetti's camp! What the d'Arvitting hell did you leave our camp for, huh?"

Artemis put on his most indifferent expression. "Since I assume you wouldn't believe me if I told you, I'm not going to tell you. However, may I ask why on earth you ran away from the camp, what you were doing around Frazetti's camp and who is this plumed bloke?"

Holly had completely forgotten about Emerald Snake and now turned around to see the Indian giving her and Artemis weird glances.

"This is Emerald Snake. A local. He was captured by Frazetti's people and Juliet and I decided to free him."

"You did _what_?"

"We just-"

"You interfered with something you shouldn't have!" Artemis hissed. "And _you_ are telling me that _my_ cries might have alerted those gorillas? Heavens, Holly, I thought you had more sense than that!"

"We couldn't leave him there!" the commander said, pointing at Emerald Snake.

"You didn't stick to the plan! This could've brought a disaster upon our heads!"

"If you haven't noticed, it _has_ brought one upon us!" the fairy spat, but her voice faltered. "Juliet is…" there was something in her voice that sounded like apologising, as though she had admitted to have partly contributed to Juliet's tragedy. Fowl was right, after all. True that it had been Fowl's acting like a hysteric five-year-old that lost them their friend, but if she and Juliet hadn't lingered so long, then Fowl wouldn't have come after them and the whole gecko-incident wouldn't have taken place.

Then again, they wouldn't have lingered if they hadn't wanted to free an innocent creature from the clutches of evil, and they wouldn't even have had a chance to free him, had Holly not run away from the camp in the first place. And finally, she wouldn't have run away, had Fowl not insulted her in his usual endearing way. From 'Fowl was right after all' she got to 'it was all Fowl's fault' in a matter of seconds, as she ran the list of 'what ifs' through her mind. Coming to the conclusion that it was all Fowl's fault made her feel slightly better, more at peace with the world. But, wait a minute! Had Fowl _come after them_? If yes, why? Surely not because he had been afraid alone – he had been completely safe within the shield's protection. What did he leave the camp for, then?

"Perhaps she's not…" Artemis said quietly. For a second Holly didn't know what he was referring to; then she remembered her unfinished sentence about Juliet probably being dead.

"Perhaps she just got carried away by the river but managed to get to the shore somewhere," the young man carried on. "She's a tough girl. She can't be dead." _Or else Butler will skin me alive,_ he added in thought, and just to make sure he didn't sound like a sentimental schoolgirl, he said as indifferently as possible: "I'm sure she'll turn up. The problem is: who's going to carry her fifty-kilo bag now? Your native friend?"

Holly's hands clenched into fists. "A stink worm can be more emotional than you are, Fowl!" she spat with detest. They'd just lost a friend and all Mud Boy could worry about was having to break a sweat!

Artemis shrugged as Holly's eyes kept sending lightning-bolts at him. Suddenly, her eyes widened.

"What?" Artemis frowned.

"Remember the disaster you were referring to?" she said in a shaky voice.

"Yeah. Why?"

"Here it comes." With that she pointed at several yellow lights moving through the shrubbery on the edge of the clearing.

"D'Arvit," breathed Artemis, not even noticing that he'd used a fairy curse.

"Exactly," Holly agreed and jerked the young genius into the grass as a bullet tore through the air at the very same spot Artemis's head had been a millisecond earlier.

* * *

"Spider!" shrieked Opal, pointing at something crawling through her sleeping bag. 

"Don't tell me you haven't got used to them at Howler's Peak," remarked Mulch.

"I did, but those were normal-sized spiders, but this one…"

"…is king-sized," agreed the dwarf, picking up the tarantula and jamming it into his mouth. "Tastes like chicken."

"Ewwww," commented the pixie; then checked her sleeping bag for more insects. She only slipped into it when she'd made sure there were no more uninvited visitors in it.

"I'd highly appreciate if you two shut up," grunted Root, who had been the first to disappear into his sleeping bag.

Mulch shrugged and slipped into his, which he had placed suspiciously close to Koboi's.

Slowly all noises died in the camp of Hit Team 2, and nothing but the chirping of crickets and stirring of various night time hunters could be heard, along with Root's snores.

Opal closed her eyes and realised that trying to sleep with contacts wasn't a pleasant experience. Damn that centaur for fabricating these accursed self-destructing little lenses! Opal decided that she'd try to get rid of them as soon as possible. Perhaps Foaly had just been bluffing and they wouldn't explode in her face if she tried to remove them… not to mention that she had once outwitted the centaur. There was no reason she couldn't do it again… Her lips tucked into an evil little smile. She would show that jumped-up pony what real intelligence was!

She decided to fall asleep with that smile on her face. Back in the golden days of her alliance with Briar Cudgeon, she drifted off each night wearing her special 'plotter smirk'. This time it didn't work.

Opal simply couldn't fall asleep. Not because she was worried about Patrick Short's fate (nothing worried her less) or the jungle itself (she knew that their camp's shield provided protection), but because of the mission as a whole. She was supposed to be an evil pixie, a power-hungry, selfish bitch (she didn't even mind when people called her that), and now here she was, playing the heroine, risking her precious life just because that idiot of a brother she had was on the warpath.

For the first time in her life she wondered whether it had been her fault that Quartz had turned out the way he had. Staring into the darkness of the jungle, she had to admit to herself that she at least had a part in it. And not even an insignificant part.

Short and Root had been right when they had told her not to expect any good from her brother. No matter what Quartz had promised her, it had been a lie. He'd been using her.

She shivered with rage.

"Are you cold, sweetheart?" whispered Mulch from behind.

"No, I'm not, and don't ever call me that," she hissed over her shoulder.

"All right, just thought I'd offer some body heat…"

"If I were about to freeze to death, I'd gladly embrace death rather than cuddle with you," she replied quietly but coldly.

Mulch, however, wasn't easily dissuaded if he got something into his head. "Well, anyway, should you need help with something, say pixie-eating tarantulas, just yell for good old Mulch."

"As long as a tarantula doesn't try to slip into my ear, I won't as much as talk to you," she murmured.

"Good. But if it does, just tell me. I'll be more than glad to lick it out."

As much as the confines of her sleeping bag allowed her, Opal kicked backwards, and registered with a satisfied smirk that her foot had hit something solid and an 'ouch' issued from the dwarf's mouth. That's what you get if you try to molest Opal Koboi.

* * *

Artemis didn't remember ever running this fast. Then again, never in his life had people sent as many bullets after him as now. True, the goblins on the Arctic had tried to kill him, Root, Holly and Butler, but goblins weren't aiming as well as Frazetti's metal men. 

"It was… really… a brilliant idea… to free… the feathered bloke," he panted while running flat out across the clearing. "I hope you didn't… use fairy technology… when you rescued him… or else Quench already knows… who we are…"

"We used a knife!" Holly shouted back, jumping into the shrubbery. Their only chance for staying alive was to shake their pursuers off in the densest part of the jungle. "We aren't as thick as you think! Just to inform you, Fowl, you aren't the only one here who can use their brains!"

"Yeah… I expect the feathered chap perhaps can," Artemis retorted cynically. Amazing that he could be cynical even in the gravest danger. "Not that way!" He suddenly grabbed Holly's arm and pointed to the right. "That way!"

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I am… I remember this tree!" the young man panted. "A bloody owl… scared me to death right here!"

Under normal circumstances the fairy would have come up with a snide remark on Artemis's questionable valour, but this time she thought better of it. "Are you sure this is the same tree?" she asked. "Trees are very alike here, you know!"

A bullet tore through the air between them, blasting a nice little hole into the tree they were arguing about.

Artemis glanced at the commander. "No."

"D'Arvit!" cursed Holly and decided to rather trust her own instincts concerning the whereabouts of their camp, than to go after Fowl, under whose leadership they could easier end up in Guatemala than in their camp.

"You know that we can't… hide your Indian friend… behind our shield!" Artemis shouted after Holly as he and Emerald Snake tried to keep up with the nimble fairy legs. He didn't worry about shouting, since their pursuers were still far behind to understand whatever he and Holly were yelling at each other.

"I can reprogram the shield to admit Emerald Snake instead of Juliet!" the elf shouted back over her shoulder.

"Are you sure you can?"

"No!"

Despite the deadly seriousness of their situation, Artemis allowed himself a small smile. There was no one else on Earth who could quarrel with him in a way that he actually enjoyed. This type of quarrelling was a trademark of Holly Short.

* * *

Dodging another bullet that the metal men had sent after them at random, they arrived at their campsite. Holly immediately dropped to her knees to reprogram one of the tiny brown gadgets. Once she managed to reprogram that one, the others would automatically adapt to it. 

A series of tiny green symbols appeared on a small screen on the gadget's front side and an even smaller fluorescent keyboard got ejected from under the screen.

Emerald Snake tapped Artemis's shoulder and asked something, but Artemis didn't understand a word. He expected that the question must have been 'what is she doing?', and if he had been able to speak this particular Indian language, he would have answered 'I wish I knew'. Or perhaps not. Artemis Fowl the Second wouldn't admit that he wasn't an expert on all areas!

"Everything all right?" he asked the furiously typing and seemingly close-to-hysterics fairy after a minute.

Holly didn't answer just looked up at him with an expression that held the promise 'one more word and I'm going to rip off your most mosquito-bitten body-part and stuff it down your throat!'. So Artemis thought it was better to remain silent and bent lower to have a proper view of the screen. He easily realised what was giving Holly problems: the built-in computer requested all possible characteristics of the new person it was supposed to admit into the shield's protection area. The commander had already filled in the fields for outer appearance (eye colour, hair colour, skin colour, approximate height), but she was having problems with the blood group and the race.

The random shots sounded closer and closer, so Artemis decided to risk a vital reproductive organ and said quietly: "O and Mongoloid."

Frowning, Holly glanced up at him again. "Are you sure?"

"Not a hundred percent," he replied, "but quite nearly. The O blood type, usually resulting from the absence of both A and B alleles, is very common around the world. It is particularly high in frequency among the indigenous populations of Central and South America. So it is safe to assume that Feather Boy has O blood group."

A shot went through the quetzal feather on Emerald Snake's headdress, barely missing his skull. The Indian crouched down next to Holly and gabbled something that might as well have been a prayer to Goddess Chalchihuitlcue or a request to do whatever she was doing a bit quicker.

The shot had sounded very close and now the trio could even hear the cracking of fallen twigs as the metal men forced themselves through the undergrowth.

"Could you do it any faster?" Artemis hissed through clenched teeth.

"I'm trying, okay?" Holly snapped, beads of sweat trickling down the sides of her face. She had typed in all the required data about Emerald Snake, but upon requesting admittance for the Indian, a green 'access denied' started to flicker on the screen.   
"Bloody malfunctioning piece of crap!"

Artemis decided to do something drastic that might result in him turning from 'Artemis the boy' into 'Artemis the girl', and shoved Commander Short aside. Holly landed in a nearby bush as Artemis's fingers began racing across the keyboard.

Another random shot singed a few scruffy locks on the top of Artemis's head, even though he was crouching low.

Holly was just about to pour a long series of assorted curses on the arrogant Irishman when the arrogant Irishman proved to be not only arrogant but completely off his rocket as well – he lighted the torch and directed its beam at Emerald Snake's face, then switched it off.

Holly wanted to say 'you suicidal Mud-Weasel, the metal men must've seen that and now they exactly know where we are, and they are going to reach here in about thirty seconds!', but she couldn't, because in the next instant 'access granted' appeared on the tiny screen and Artemis grabbed her by the neck of her suit and threw her through the shield, then pushed Emerald Snake after her. He jumped into the camp as the last.

Just in time.

Two seconds after the shield had made all three of them undetectable for the outsiders, four heavily armed gorillas burst into the small clearing.

Emerald Snake must have recognised two of them as the people who had captured him, because he grabbed Holly's arm, as though pleading for help, but didn't utter a single word.

"Don't worry, they can't see or hear us now," whispered the fairy, although she knew that she could as well have sung the pizza song at the top of her lungs and besides the Indian and Artemis no one else would have heard it. It ran through her mind that Fowl would deserve having to listen to all hundred and fourteen verses of that horrible song for having treated her in such an 'unworthy-of-a-commander' way, but she decided against singing. Poor Emerald Snake didn't deserve to suffer.

Finally she turned to the still madly panting Artemis: "What the hell did you need that torch for? And how did you manage to override the system?"

His back against a tree, his eyes shut and his face paler than Holly had ever seen it, he replied: "I just needed to check his eye colour."

"Huh?" the commander frowned as one of the metal men stopped only fifteen centimetres from the shield, scratching his head. He could as well have walked into that apparently empty spot where the camp was, without noticing it in any way.

"I would've sworn to have seen a light here. Right here," the man muttered.

"Me too," added a crony of his. "But there's nothing here. It's possible that it was just a particularly big glow-worm."

"Yeah, could be," agreed the third man. "Let's get back to Miss Frazetti and tell her that the Indians have escaped. She can't expect us to pursue them all night!"

"She won't be happy about us returning empty-handed," grunted the fourth one. "Are you sure those three were all Indians?"

"'Course, what else? Two adults – one of them was our little escapee – and a kid."

Upon hearing the gorilla refer to her as a 'kid', Holly made a grimace. "So what's up with the eye colour, Fowl?"

"Oh, that," Artemis yawned and an unbearable know-it-all expression spread on his face. "Emerald Snake's eyes are brown. Dark brown, that's true, but still brown. Not black as you'd typed it into the program. No wonder it refused to admit him, after all, an important characteristic didn't match. I know, when candles are away, all cats are grey, but a Recon commander like yourself is supposed to have more experience than to rely on assumptions and first impressions."

"Thank you very much for the lecture, Mr Fowl," said Holly sharply.

"You're welcome." Artemis smirked. "By the way, could you give me a translator so that I understand what Snake Boy is saying?"

"I haven't got any more, just the one I'm wearing," came the cold reply. Truth be told it wasn't vital for the commander to wear a translator, given that she, as all fairies, had a natural grasp of languages, but it was more comfortable this way.

"But Juliet brought a few more, I saw her pack them," Artemis insisted.

"Then go on and find it in her rucksack." Holly shrugged, still hurt about the Mud Boy treating her like a silly little girl, not an adult woman and commander. Then again – wasn't he right? At least a bit? She had to give it to him; he had a point. After so many years spent in the LEP, she was supposed to act more circumspectly. But she wouldn't tell him that he was right. No way.

Somewhat unwillingly, Artemis started to rummage through his one-time body-guard's things. After five minutes of futile searching, Holly took pity on him. Men are such no-talents when it comes to finding things in a bag or a suitcase! That's why they usually take their wives with them on business trips – the women are needed to find certain items that their husbands would never find on their own.

"Here." She pulled a tiny, crooked gadget and two Moonbelts out of Juliet's bag.

Artemis took the translator but stared at the Moonbelts with a confused expression.

Holly rolled her eyes. Men. They can be so darn clever when it comes to computers or wise-cracking, but when they need to deal with the problems of everyday life; they are lost. "We can replace the sack's shoulder straps with these, so that you can carry it."

"Oh. Good idea. But how do you replace them?"

"Cut the current ones off, sew these on," Holly sighed, as though explaining something to a two-year-old.

"You can _sew_?"

"I do. In Haven every little fai… _girl_ learns to sew," the commander corrected herself, aware that Emerald Snake understood everything she said, "because their fathers usually expect them to marry at a young age and spend most of their lives as obedient housewives, raising feisty little brats."

"And what makes a little girl want to become a police officer?" Artemis wondered.

"The desire to kick the butts of spoilt children… and adults," she replied, grinning.

For some reason, Artemis's mouth too tucked into a small smile.

* * *

"A child… hmm…" Quench murmured as he entered his tent. One of his guards was trailing behind him, the other one (by the name of Fern) was standing at the entrance of the neighbouring tent – the one Patrick Short was held captive in. 

"What child are you talking about, sir?" asked his guard – the one called Reed. "The Short one or the one Miss Frazetti mentioned?"

"The latter," replied Quench. "The metal men said they'd seen two adults and a child running into the forest. However, I have a feeling that the 'child' wasn't a child, but a fairy."

"A fairy, sir?"

"Yes. Though highly unlikely, it is possible that some of the People found out about my plans…"

"Your plans, sir? Er… may I ask something, sir?" said Reed timidly. As his boss nodded, he carried on: "You… you are planning to annihilate the People, aren't you, sir?"

"I have every reason to do so, Reed," Quench snarled.

"I believe you have, sir, but what about me and Fern? And my family?"

"Do not worry, my faithful servant, you and your loved ones shall be spared."

"Oh, good." Reed grinned dumbly. Had he been a bit more intelligent, he would have seen through a simple lie like this and would have deserted his master rather than helping him in wiping out the fairies. However, had he been a bit more intelligent, then Quench wouldn't have employed him.

"And sir, what can we do if it was indeed a fairy who freed the Indian?"

"For the time being we aren't doing anything," Quartz replied calmly. "But we are going to take precautions for the future."

"What precautions?"

"Tell Miss Frazetti that I want a howler monkey."

"Oh, you've decided to keep a pet, sir?"

"Idiot," the millionaire snapped. "Howler monkeys belong to one of the two species of monkey that can see through a fairy shield. Since we don't have helmets with anti-shield filters like those LEP guys, we have to resort to using other means of detecting the fairies. "

"Oh," Reed said. "I see. I'll tell Miss Frazetti."

"And Reed…"

"Yes, sir?"

"Don't mention my suspicions about the fairy to anyone. Not even Fern. He tends to be a bit over-talkative, and the Short boy is smart enough to get any information from him. We don't want little Patrick to hope that his mummy might come for him – not even if that supposed 'child' was none other than Commander Holly Short."

"Why, was it Commander Holly Short?" Reed's eyes widened.

Quench heaved a sigh. He was indeed surrounded by idiots. "I don't know," he grunted. "But we can't rule out the possibility. And if a fairy is poking around, we will make sure we catch him or her. And without the Mud People finding out."

* * *

Holly was flying above the river, her eyes scanning the shore through her helmet's built-in magnifiers. She had turned on the infrared filter as well, given that it was barely past four in the morning and almost completely dark. 

She had to do this little search for Juliet before the sun rose, since its rays would leech the magic out of her on a more or less open area like this. In the dense jungle she had no problem with the sunrays, but in a clearing or any open place they could be a danger to fairy powers.

Holly was enjoying the flight – it felt way better than having to trot across a rainforest, but she knew well that they couldn't possibly search for the pyramid from the air. Firstly she couldn't fly in daytime for the aforementioned reason; secondly it wasn't sure that they would spot the pyramid at night, even with the infrared filters. Also Artemis had mentioned something about a 'curse keeping the air above the pyramid clean'. She didn't completely understand what he'd meant by it – perhaps not even he and Professor Fox knew – but Holly decided not to risk getting wiped by any 'curse' when trying to approach Second Tenochtitlan from above.

She focused her attention on the greyish waters below. If only she could find the Butler girl!

* * *

Artemis woke up by someone shaking him. "Wha…?" he blinked blearily to see an upset Holly Short leering down at him.   
"What's up, Commander?" 

"Good that you finally deigned to wake up, Mr Fowl, it's already six o'clock."

"Already? Wow. Is it really_ that_ late?" Artemis grimaced.

"It is. And so just you know, I've just come back from the riverside," she replied. "I got up at four to comb the area for Juliet."

"And?"

"Do you see any Juliet standing behind me?"

"No."

"Then obviously I haven't found her," Holly snapped.

"How big an area have you combed?"

"A riverside sector of over fifteen kilometres."

"On foot?" Artemis gaped.

"Obviously not. With Koboi DoubleDex. I flew over the river."

"Ah. I see," the young man rubbed his eyes. He was still in a half-dozing state and his brain wasn't working as quick as usually.   
"I hope you were shielded at least."

"Ooooh, no. I was making loop-the-loops in the air, shouting 'I'm here, Mud Men, catch me' at the top of my lungs…"

"Okay, okay, no sarcasm needed," Artemis grunted.

"I talked to Julius on my wrist-phone. Told him that we lost Juliet. He said they'd keep their eyes open for her."

"Good," yawned Artemis, scratching his chin. "Where's the razor? In Juliet's bag?"

"The razor?" Holly blinked.

"Yeah. You know, the one you usually use on your legs… and perhaps other body parts as well? Not that I like the idea of using something on my face after you used it on unmentionable body parts, but…"

"Sorry, Mr Fowl, but the razor that I use on every possible body part was left at Haven," the elf girl said with a satisfied smirk.

"You don't mean it!"

"I do. No one thought of putting it on the 'what to bring' list, so…"

"I can't believe it!" Artemis groaned. "Do you realise that in a matter of a few days I am going to look like a bloody cave man with a shaggy beard?"

"And?" Holly shrugged. "I doubt you could look any worse than you already do. Perhaps a beard will hide some of your spots," she said, pointing at his face that was full of mosquito bites, making him look as though he had just entered puberty.

"Ha-ha." Artemis scowled and turned to Emerald Snake who was listening to their banter with a confused expression. Very likely he had never heard of a razor before.

"Well, what are we going to do with our plumed friend?" young Fowl pointed at the Indian.

"Just release him and let him go home."

"But Emerald Snake wants to serve Goddess Chalchihuitlcue who saved him from the clutches of evil!" the native said.

"What goddess?" Artemis raised an eyebrow.

"He thinks I'm this Goddess Chalchihuitlcue," Holly replied with an embarrassed expression. "Listen here, Emerald Snake. I'm not Chalchihuitlcue. I am Holly and this is Artemis."

"Emerald Snake understands, Valiant Goddess Holly and Clever God Artemis." Emerald Snake nodded and bowed slightly in their direction.

"No…" the elf began to explain things to the Indian, but Artemis waved to silence her.

"Let him think we are who he thinks we are," Artemis muttered to her.

"But why?" she whispered, furrowing her brow.

"I always hated those stupid jokes 'hey, isn't Artemis a girl's name?'. For once there is going to be a God Artemis. It even sounds better than Goddess Artemis, don't you think?"

"You're crazy." She shook her head.

"Perhaps. But perhaps we could sort of… use the situation to achieve our own ends. True, it wasn't part of the plan, but we have done many things already that weren't part of the plan. If Snake Boy here would help us find the pyramid and carry the luggage at the same time…"

"Excuse Emerald Snake, mighty God Artemis, but what pyramid are you looking for?"

The commander and the young genius looked at each other. Artemis nodded his head, and Holly flopped down on the grass, facing the native.

"We are seeking Second Tenochtitlan, Emerald Snake," she said. "A pyramid in which an idol capable of destroying whole nations is hidden."

The native's eyes narrowed but he didn't say anything.

"We don't want to use that idol, Emerald Snake," Artemis added, seeing the disapproving expression on the native's face. "However, those evil people who captured you want to use it."

"Emerald Snake thought so," the native replied. "One of them mentioned something about a pyramid they were seeking."

"That must have been either Quench or one of his guards," Artemis mused. "Otherwise you wouldn't have understood what they were telling you." He glanced at Emerald Snake, who seemed a bit confused, but Artemis didn't feel like explaining _why_ the Indian would only understand Quench or his guards. "Well, Emerald Snake," he said seriously, "The point is that they can't get there before us. We're trying to prevent them from using the idol, and in the meantime save… someone."

"Your son, right?" the Indian said.

"How do you know?" The elf looked surprised.

"When you were shouting at each other by the river, the goddess mentioned that those evil people were probably terrorising your son." The native shrugged. "Emerald Snake has a good memory."

"Indeed." Holly smiled sadly. "Those people have kidnapped our son and they want to sacrifice him in order to use that idol. We can't let that happen."

"Of course not," Emerald Snake agreed. "It is not good to sacrifice your own family, only your enemies. That's what we Aztecs do."

"Aztecs?" Artemis and Holly gasped in unison. "Aren't those long extinct?"

A knowing smile appeared on the Indian's face. "Everybody thinks that we are long gone. But there is one small tribe left, the last of the Aztecs. Hidden in the jungle, so that no white men can ever find us. We are all descendants of those few Aztec priests and their families that were sent here by Montezuma to build that pyramid."

"But those priests were all murdered, weren't they?" Artemis interjected, wishing that Professor Sidney Fox were here. She'd surely regard this as a historical moment.

"Yes, they indeed were killed by the evil white men with fire-spitting arms," Emerald Snake replied. "However, they had brought their families along with them to help them build the pyramid, and the enemy could not kill all the relatives of the priests, because they fled into the thickest parts of the jungle. The priests were murdered when they returned to Tenochtitlan to report to Montezuma that the pyramid was ready and waited for his order to wreak havoc on the enemy. But Montezuma was killed by his own underlings and some of the priests also fell victim to the angry folk. Those who weren't killed by the folk, were killed by the white men. Their knowledge on where to find the pyramid went to the grave with them and their families waited for them in vain in the forest. The Aztecs living in Tenochtitlan were all wiped out, but that small group of refugees lived on in the jungle."

"That's amazing," breathed Holly.

"Say, Emerald Snake, could you take us to Second Tenochtitlan?" Artemis asked.

"Emerald Snake is sorry, Clever God Artemis, but the Aztecs do not go near that building. It is cursed."

"Then could you at least give us a direction?"

"Emerald Snake could, yes." The Indian nodded. "But Emerald Snake is worried about Goddess Holly and God Artemis. That pyramid is full of dangers."

"Hey, we are deities, after all, we'll cope with those dangers." Holly squinted at Artemis.

"Speak for yourself," Artemis muttered, but he knew that they at least had to _find_ the pyramid.

The young Aztec rose to his feet. "Come with Emerald Snake, almighty God and Goddess, Emerald Snake shall show you the pyramid."

* * *

"I need to take a bath," Opal said matter-of-factly. "This jungle makes me feel dirty." 

"Oh. And Howler's Peak didn't?" Mulch asked nastily.

"Not this much," the pixie replied. "At least I wasn't sweating there."

"Miss Koboi admits that she's sweating. Wow. And a fine lady like yourself can't allow herself to appear before other fairies with a face shiny with sweat, can she?"

"Don't think I'm doing this to look good for _you_, Diggums!" she snapped. "I'm doing it for myself. I simply feel better when   
I'm clean. So, if you don't mind, Root, I'm off to the river."

"I'd gladly accompany her there to make sure she doesn't escape," Mulch offered.

"I'm going to accompany both of you to the river to make sure that neither of you do anything fishy," Root said.

"D'you hear that? Don't do anything_ fishy_ by the river! Hahahaha!" the dwarf guffawed.

"Veeeery funny." Opal rolled her eyes, mad that the two males weren't going to leave her alone. She had nicked a micro-screwdriver out of Root's package and had the intention of trying to get those stupid iris cams out of her eyes, but she needed complete peace for a difficult act like that. However, being watched by a lustful dwarf and a morose elf, she surely couldn't accomplish the feat. So all she could do was go and wash herself, taking off as few clothes as possible. No need to give Diggums any ideas…

* * *

"Is it far away?" Artemis asked after what seemed hours of following Emerald Snake through the forest. They had waded through several creeks and fought their way across prickling bushes – the latter had caused ugly violet spots to appear on Artemis's skin; he must have been allergic to that particular type of bush, or rather its thorns. Holly hadn't made a jibe at his appearance but seemed to be fighting with her facial muscles whenever she looked at him. Red and violet spots covered every inch of Artemis's visible skin, and she had no doubt that there were a few hundred of them under his clothes as well. Then she made a mental note not to imagine what was under the Mud Man's clothes, or she could easily get into that 'sweating and stammering' state she had been in after she'd seen him in the shower. Now that particular memory seemed very distant, as though it had happened several years earlier, even though it had been less than a week ago. 

"No, not far away," replied the Indian.

"Yeah, I can imagine just _how not far away _we are," grunted the young Irishman, scratching his cheek.

"Don't scratch it, or it will just get worse," Holly advised.

"It wouldn't if you just gave it a shot of magic," Artemis said in an accusing voice. "It's not like reviving Butler that drained all your powers. Two or three sparks would suffice."

Holly heaved a sigh. She hadn't intended to heal him (for some reason seeing him uncomfortable delighted her), but he was giving her such a wide-eyed puppy stare that she couldn't resist.

"All right. Sit down, Fowl."

Emerald Snake didn't exactly know what the two 'deities' were about to do, but stopped walking and watched them with interest.

Dropping his huge bag, Artemis flopped down onto a moss-covered stone and Holly stepped to him, taking his face into her hands. She was normally grateful for the dense foliage that filtered the sunrays making sure that the sun wouldn't suck out her powers, but now she didn't mind a thin beam that came through the foliage and fell on the young man's face. True that Artemis's visage had seen better days; all the blemishes robbed it of its natural charm, but his eyes were sparkling like sapphires in the sunlight. If nothing else, then his eyes were beautiful, shining out of the red-and-violet-sprinkled mass of his face. She could have lost herself in those eyes.

It was the rustling of the fallen leaves that brought Holly to her senses – Emerald Snake had withdrawn from them, careful not to disturb the gods in their bonding.

Holly shuddered and looked to the left to see the native standing at least fifteen metres away, seemingly busy observing the local wildlife.

"He's tactful," Artemis remarked, his eyes glinting with an unaccustomed mischief.

"Indeed," she replied, turning to him again. Her hands had never for a second left the sides of his face. "Er… yeah. _Heal_."

A pair of blue sparks issued from both of her hands, disappearing into Artemis's cheeks. In seconds the pimple-look-a-likes vanished to be replaced by perfect and pale skin. As the ridges under Holly's fingers flattened, his skin felt suddenly very soft and smooth – simply pleasant to touch. Up till now the only occasions on which her hand had made contact with his face had been those three times she'd punched him.

Had Juliet, Opal or Mulch been present, they would surely have cleared their throat to shake these two back into reality, but Emerald Snake was afraid to disrupt a moment like this. A howler monkey did it for him.

Holly jumped back, releasing Artemis who reached out to feel his face and wiggled his fingers before his eyes. They seemed free of mosquito-bites and rashes. "It didn't cause you much of a power-loss, now, did it?"

"No," she admitted. She felt just as fit and full-of-magic as she had before performing the healing. But she couldn't deny that something had happened to her. Again. For the umpteenth time since she'd visited Artemis Fowl II to ask for his help. And the more she thought about it, the stronger this feeling became. And the stronger it became, the angrier she felt with herself. "But a simple thank you would have been nice," she muttered under her breath.

Artemis either hadn't heard her remark or simply ignored it.

"Well, then, Emerald Snake, would you please continue guiding us?" she asked in a determined voice that rather sounded forced to Artemis.

"Certainly, Goddess Holly." The Indian nodded. "Emerald Snake just wanted to make sure he didn't disturb the energy-transfer."

"Energy…?" Holly glanced at Artemis who shrugged with an amused expression. It was an energy-transfer, after all. Just not the 'gods exchanging divine power' sort of energy-transfer the Aztec thought it had been.

Artemis heaved Juliet's enormous – but thanks to the Moonbelts fairly light – bag onto his back and they set off again.

* * *

Opal was standing knee-high in the water, washing her neck and face. Mulch, behind her, was drooling at the pixie who was wearing a very tight tank top, while Julius Root was chewing a fungus cigar, keeping an eye on both convicts. He hadn't lit his cigar, since he knew that accidentally setting fire to the jungle would be a disaster (even though there wasn't too much of a danger because the jungle was dripping wet). However, Root was so addicted to the fungus aroma that he needed to do something about the withdrawal symptoms. So lacking a better idea, he just chewed the cigar. It was already nothing but a soggy pulp in his mouth, but it was better than nothing. 

This part of the river was quite slow-flowing, the rapids were farther to the north. By the time the water reached down here, it became smooth and calm – ideal for taking a bath or fishing.

"Could you do it a bit quicker?" Root barked at Opal who seemed to think she had all the time in the world and spent several minutes washing every body part that wasn't covered with clothes. Mulch wouldn't have minded if she took even longer to be ready, for she was a lovely sight to behold.

"I'm doing it as quick as possible," the pixie replied flatly.

"You were quicker when you showered in Holly's quarters," remarked Julius.

"Only because I kept urging her," a voice spoke up behind the onetime commander.

Root, Mulch and Opal turned around to see a bit weathered but overall happy-looking Juliet Butler stumble through the bushes.

"Hey there, Stinker!" the dwarf waved at her.

"Miss Butler! Thank heaven you're alive!" Root greeted her. "I got a call from Holly just a few hours ago, and she told me they'd lost you when you fell into the river."

"I'm fine." Juliet replied. "I managed to climb to the shore not far from here. I couldn't do it where I fell in; the water had such a strong current there. I think I will have some black and blue spots, though – those rocks are a bit tough when you are swept against them."

"And how come you're coming from the forest and not the shore?" wondered Mulch.

"After I climbed ashore, I decided to look for a place to sleep," Juliet explained. "There's a cute little cave only a few hundred meters away. Some predator must have inhabited it before, because it was littered with bones, but it seemed to be abandoned. Or the 'owner' was out hunting for the night… I don't know."

"Do you realise it could've been a jaguar's liar?" Root asked. Now he understood why Holly hadn't spotted the Butler girl on the shore. She had been sleeping in some cave, after all. "What would you have done if you had been awoken by a huge beast like that, ready to lunge at you?"

"I would have used the Predator Grip on it," Juliet replied.

"The what?"

"Predator Grip. One of the techniques I learned at Madam Ko's Academy. If the Principal is attacked by a big-bodied animal under three hundred kilos, this kind of grip is to be used. Lift the jaguar, circle it over your head until it gets dizzy then throw it a good five metres away. If you manage to throw it over ten metres, you get a bonus."

"Were you _exercising_ on predators at that Academy?" Opal enquired with a doubting expression.

"'Course we were." Juliet nodded cheerfully. "My biggest throw was 9.44 metres. I threw a leopard."

"Whew. Good that we have you here." The pixie smirked. "You can protect us if a vicious beast attacks. Poor Miss Short and that poor, poor Mud Boy. They are left unprotected. But their loss is our gain…"

"Yeah." Juliet hung her head. "But I think Holly is able enough to protect herself _and_ Artemis if needed. If I were you, I wouldn't worry about their physical well-being that much, rather their chastity," she added with a wink.

"What do you mean by that?" Root frowned.

"Oh, come on, don't tell me you haven't noticed…" Juliet sighed theatrically.

"What should we have noticed?" the dwarf asked.

"Those looks they keep giving each other," Opal said. "If they could, they'd devour each other with their eyes."

Juliet grinned at the pixie, even though she wasn't very fond of her. Women have a talent for noticing things that men don't.

"Do you really… mean it?" Root breathed with an expression that suggested he couldn't decide whether to believe the females or not.

"Of course we do, Root," Koboi said with a superior smile. "If you have eyes to see and ears to hear, use them."

Julius scratched his head, decidedly confused. Holly… his Holly… and Artemis Fowl? Nah.

* * *

"This way," Emerald Snake beckoned to Artemis and Holly, leading them towards a small but very clear lake. A wondrous waterfall was cascading into it and there were about a dozen flat stones protruding from the water. Artemis couldn't decide whether they had been dropped into the lake by Mother Nature or by human hands, but undoubtedly they provided perfect footholds for anyone who wanted to cross the lake to the waterfall without getting wet. But why would anyone want to go to the waterfall? If someone wanted to take a 'shower' in it, then they could as well have swum there, because they would have become wet either way… 

Then it dawned on him.

"Ah, clever," Artemis muttered when they had half crossed the tiny lake on the big, flat stones.

"What?" asked the elf, jumping from the stone behind Artemis's to the one the young man was standing on.

Perhaps because fairies had shorter legs and couldn't perform as well on long jumps as humans, she arrived on the very edge of Artemis's stone and slipped.

Artemis had never been a man with good reflexes – for that purpose there were the Butlers in the family – but now he   
instinctively reached out and caught the elf under the arms. Under the arms… but given Holly's thin frame and his long fingers, a considerable part of her chest was suddenly covered by his hands.

As a result something happened to Holly that so far had only happened under a hot shower: she felt her nipples harden. She risked a look at them and was shocked to see that they were clearly visible through the fabric of her suit. She looked up to see Artemis's eyes focusing on that particular area, an unmistakable smirk on his face.

"Release. Me. This. Instant," she hissed at the young genius, her eyes blazing with fury.

"As you wish," he said and did as she'd requested. With a loud splash she fell into the lake.

"Fowl! I'm going to kill you for this!" she shouted, sitting neck-high in the water, shaking her fists at him.

"I'm very scared now," he replied, but the look on her face indeed made him cringe. However, she wasn't to know that. "You know, a simple thank you would have been nice and I wouldn't have dropped you then."

Holding up her head, she climbed onto the stone before Artemis's and followed Emerald Snake. Luckily her clothes and rucksack were waterproof, but her boots were making nasty squelching noises at each step she made.

"Pray to all the gods you know that no one tries to attack us for about two days, because my Neutrino is going to be out that long," she growled over her shoulder. "Its circuitry doesn't like water much."

"I see," replied Artemis, feeling guilt wash over him. He should have thought of the weaponry getting wet before he let Holly fall just for the fun of it. And come to think of it, he had been doing too many things just for fun in the last few days. An abnormally lot of things. This tiny elf had that effect on him; he couldn't deny it. But truth be told, he hated to admit it to himself.

* * *

"Holly? Holly, do you copy?" Root was speaking into his wrist-phone. "One, two. One, two. Trolls on a tantrum cause terrible trouble… I don't get it." He turned to his companions. "The gadget seems to be working fine. At least on this end." 

"Perhaps there's an interference on Short's end," Opal voiced her opinion. "Or she's in trouble too big to answer your call."

"Don't even joke about something like that!" Juliet snapped at her. She had barely spent some time with the pixie, but it had been enough for her to develop a healthy dislike of Miss Koboi.

"I'm not joking, merely being realistic," Opal pointed out. "Too bad the old elf can't contact her Commandership to tell her we have found you…"

"You mean _I_ have found _you_," Juliet grunted. She couldn't help starting to worry about more than just Artemis and Holly's chastity…

* * *

Emerald Snake stepped on the last flat stone before the waterfall, Holly and Artemis standing on the one behind him.

The elf was just about to ask what they were doing here when the native walked through the thin opening between the rock-wall and the waterfall.

"See, this is what I called clever just before you slipped," Artemis told Holly.

"A passage behind the waterfall," she muttered, frowning upon Artemis's mention of her slipping. She was mad at the Mud Boy, but just as mad at herself for not being able to control her bodily reactions.

They followed Emerald Snake into the cave that seemed fairly long but wasn't completely dark, since some light came through small crevices on the cave's ceiling – crevices that weren't visible from the outside because they were at least partly hidden by the undergrowth.

The cave's walls were sparkling white and green in the faint sunlight.

"Do you think these are emeralds?" Artemis said, leaning closer to the wall to examine it.

"Wipe that hungry look off your face," Holly said sharply. "Even if they were emeralds, remember that we aren't here for treasure-hunting."

An expression flashed across the young man's face.

"You're not telling me something, are you, Fowl?" Holly's eyes narrowed. She _knew_ that expression. She'd seen it on him once in the Spiro Needle, just before he admitted that they had to cut off the industrialist's thumb.

"No, Commander. There's nothing I'm not telling you," he replied in his usual cold manner. Truth was that he'd suddenly felt guilt wash over him: his thoughts had been occupied with moneymaking when he was supposed to be concentrating on nothing else but the rescue-mission. His only son's life and the future of the People were at stake and all he could do was think of emeralds… Come to think of it, was it possible that Emerald Snake was named after this gem because the last of the Aztecs had huge emerald-reserves?

A vampire smile spread on Artemis's face, then vanished to be replaced by a pout. A shame that he, Artemis Fowl II was condemned to feel guilty about his desire for accumulating wealth. Guilt – how unworthy of the Fowls! But no doubt his father would be proud of him – 'Arty, you're beginning to act humanely', he would say.

Feeling disgusted with himself, Artemis followed the Indian and the fairy, trying to figure out why exactly he was disgusted with himself: because he cared too much for wealth when he was supposed to focus on other things, or because he couldn't totally suppress his conscience? Half of him wanted to be the typical Fowl – that sort of Fowl who'd gladly kidnap a fairy for gold; but his other half wanted to overrule the Fowl in him and turn him into plain Artemis – Artemis who hunted down the evil and fought for the good.

In the past few days he had had to notice these two 'halves' fighting inside of him, and the more time he spent with Commander Short, the more he felt this inner struggle.

After the mind wipe, he had turned back into the cold, heartless Fowl heir who bulldozed over everyone to reach his aims. He had got his Nobel Prizes not for being the 'selfless helper of humankind', but for his thirst to prove himself better than the rest. Certainly the committee that awarded him the Nobels was unaware of this – they regarded the Irish youth as a scientist who worked for making the world better.

It never occurred to them that Fowl could be just a megalomaniac show-off. And Artemis left them in their belief. As long as he received the ten million Swedish Crowns for each Nobel prize, he wasn't about to complain.

These days, however, Artemis couldn't help but re-evaluate his little science ventures and more often than not he came to the conclusion that he'd been a selfish git. Science wasn't supposed to be used for gathering wealth, but for helping humankind. The same stood for this particular mission…

But, Artemis thought to calm his conscience, it wouldn't do anyone any harm if he only registered the location of this cave and came back later to look at the 'emerald' walls with a small crew of miners...

Walking behind Holly, he pulled a compass out of his pocket. It wasn't just a compass, though – it could also give the exact coordinates of one's location. This time, however, the compass seemed to have gone mad – its hand that normally pointed North was running in circles like clothes in a centrifuge, and numbers were flickering on its tiny screen without stopping.

Artemis made a grimace and slipped the compass back into his pocket. It was possible that the cave's walls were filled with some sort of an ore that interfered with the gadget. He decided to take a peek at it again after they left the cave. And do it possibly without Holly noticing.

After what seemed to be ten minutes of walking, Emerald Snake halted. "We have arrived, God Artemis and Goddess Holly."

Artemis could barely contain the greedy mirth that filled his insides. In seconds they would glimpse Second Tenochtitlan, and no doubt well before the enemy did. Was the pyramid itself made of pure gold, or was the gold hidden inside of it? – he wondered. Well, time will tell. The only thing that mattered was that everything was going according to the plan. Or at least Artemis thought so.

The next instant Emerald Snake pulled a bush hiding the exit of the cave aside and Artemis's jaw dropped. Not because Second Tenochtitlan was so majestic, but because it wasn't even Second Tenochtitlan. It couldn't be – there was no pyramid, no gold, nothing that would have given him a 'lost Eldorado' feeling. This was a town or a bigger village that teemed with human life.

"Wow," breathed Holly as she exited the cave in the Indian's wake.

"Emerald Snake?" Artemis called, dumbfounded. "You said you'd take us to the pyramid!"

The native held up a placating hand. "Do not be mad at Emerald Snake, oh mighty God. You shall see the pyramid. Soon."

The Irishman glanced at his fairy companion, who shrugged with a helpless expression.

"If we've trusted him so far, we could as well trust him a little longer," she whispered to him.

"Yeah. Trust him to guide us to the village centre where they will have us for dinner," he mouthed back.

"They are no cannibals," she replied, still as quietly as possible. Emerald Snake need not understand what they were talking about.

"How do you know?" Artemis raised an eyebrow at her. "According to several history books, the Aztecs _did_ eat their defeated enemies."

"But _we_ aren't their enemies. We're their gods!" she reasoned.

"Of course, and they are going to erect statues in honour of our valiant rescue, next to those," he muttered, pointing at half a dozen monuments depicting horrendous creatures. In the centre stood a big statue whose head consisted of two serpent heads, her arms were writhing snakes, her legs were that of a jaguar, and as a decoration she wore a necklace of human intestines – hearts, skulls and chopped hands being the charming pendants.

"Ew," Holly commented. "What is this supposed to be?"

"Coatlicue, the female Earth Monster," Artemis replied as Emerald Snake led them into the town. Aztec adults carrying baskets full of flowers were gaping at them, while Aztec children stopped playing pocatoc (their ancient ball game) and started pointing at the newcomers.

"Coatlicue," Artemis continued, "swam in the waters of earth in the darkness and chaos before the Creation, devouring all that she saw. Gods Quetzalcoatl and Tezcatlipoca changed themselves into serpents and struggled with the Earth Monster until they broke her in two. Coatlicue's lower part rose to form the heavens and her upper part descended to form the earth. Coatlicue has a big appetite for human hearts and the Aztecs believed that she would not bear fruit unless given human blood. But," he stopped her a second, seeing the disgusted look on the elf's face, "other Indian tribes had even worse beliefs and customs. There were, for instance, the Moche in South-America. Instead of sacrificing hearts, they cut off the heads, arms and legs of the victims at Huaca del Luna – the Pyramid of the Moon. They weren't trying to appease the gods but their own ancestors, and they didn't sacrifice their enemies, but their own people. Compared to them, the Aztecs almost seem humane, don't you think?"

"Thanks a bunch for the lecture," the commander grunted.

"You're welcome."

"Say, Emerald Snake, what is everyone doing with those flowers?" Holly asked; just to talk about something else than sacrifices.

"They are sacrificing them," came the reply.

Holly blinked.

"From 26 March till 14 April they have The Days of Sacrificing Flowers," Artemis explained.

The fairy made an expression that suggested she couldn't decide whether to laugh or shake her head in disbelief.

"Consider yourself lucky that we arrived here now, not in the previous period," he added.

"Why?"

"Because, as far as I know, between 6 and 25 March the Aztecs have The Days of Skinning People. The priests even wear the skins of the unfortunate ones… they must stink quite a bit."

"You have decided on turning my stomach, haven't you?" Holly snapped.

"No. I just enjoy being a know-it-all." Artemis grinned at her.

"Big news," she huffed. The child Artemis in her memories used to be a know-it-all too, but the adult Artemis outdid his childhood self by far. Holly couldn't decide what irritated her more about him – his smart-aleck behaviour or his annoyingly good looks.

Emerald Snake suddenly stopped before a house that looked considerably bigger than the rest.

"You're back!" a female voice squealed and a young woman stormed out of the building, throwing herself at Emerald Snake. "Oh, brother, we were so worried about you! What happened to you? Why haven't you returned any earlier? We even sent people to look for you but no one found you! We already thought you'd been attacked by a jaguar!" She looked over her brother's shoulder and noticed the guests. "And who are they?"

"They are Emerald Snake's rescuers, dear sister. The courageous Goddess Holly who saved Emerald Snake from evil white men, and clever God Artemis who hid us from our pursuers with his magic."

The girl disentangled herself from her brother's embrace and stepped closer to the 'deities'. "You said, brother, that you were rescued from evil white men. But isn't God Artemis white too?"

"Fragrant Flower! It is not allowed to talk about gods like this!" her brother scolded her. "If you anger them, they might even demand your heart to appease them!"

"Oh, no." Artemis waved. "Goddess Holly and I never demand human sacrifices."

"You don't?" A deep male voice spoke up, and a rather fat man decorated with hundreds of quetzal feathers came forward. He must have been listening to the conversation in the background so far.

"No, we don't," Holly replied calmly. "Disgusting custom."

The fat man seemed surprised, and so did Emerald Snake and his sister. Clearly they had never heard of deities who didn't demand human hearts.

"You know, we are… modern gods," Artemis explained. "And modern gods are vegetarian. Much healthier than eating all those bloody and sinewy hearts…"

"Then you aren't eating any howler monkeys? Nor dogs? Nor ants? Nor toads?" asked the fat Aztec with a befuddled expression. "Then what are we going to give you at the feast in your honour tonight?" The poor man seemed downright desperate.

"A feast in our honour?" Holly raised an eyebrow at her companion.

"Well, we'd gladly taste your tortillas and quesadillas," said Artemis. "I expect you are the chief here," he addressed the fat man.

"Yes, mighty vegetarian God." The chief bowed slightly. "Obsidian Snake at your service. Please forgive Obsidian Snake's daughter for her insolent remark, she didn't mean to be disrespectful."

"Your daughter?" Artemis glanced at Fragrant Flower. "Then Emerald Snake is your son…"

"He is indeed. Obsidian Snake would like to thank you oh great deities for saving the heir to his throne. Whatever you wish for, you shall receive."

* * *

An hour later they were sitting at the middle of the village, stuffing their face. Artemis and Holly were careful not to taste the Aztecs' famous honey wine, but for different reasons. Holly, as a fairy, wasn't allowed to drink alcohol in humans' presence.

Artemis, on the other hand, was well aware of the drink's 'background story' – namely that young girls rinsed the honey in their mouths then spit it into a bowl were the bacteria slowly turned the honey into an alcoholic drink. Such a background story was enough to deter anyone besides the Aztecs from tasting the booze.

Chief Obsidian Snake seemed slightly hurt when his guests didn't accept the honey wine, but eagerly provided them with the spring water they requested instead.

Holly was getting really sleepy, given that it was almost ten p.m. human time, but even in her drowsy state she couldn't help noticing the looks Fragrant Flower was giving Artemis.

"Emerald Snake says you are searching for Second Tenochtitlan," the chief spoke up, munching a dog's leg. "He also says that the evil white men want to use the idol hidden there, and they want to sacrifice your son. Obsidian Snake fears he doesn't understand how humans can sacrifice a god to other gods."

"Well, truth be told our son is no god," Artemis replied. "For some reason he didn't inherit the… divine powers."

"Yes," Holly sighed. "But we still love him and want to stop these evil men. Can you help?"

"Certainly." Obsidian Snake nodded. "We are going to show you the pyramid, tomorrow at sunrise. And now, if you have eaten enough, Emerald Snake will escort you to your accommodations. Good night, gracious gods."

* * *

Holly got a cottage opposite Artemis's and didn't miss the opportunity to mention to him how glad she was about not having to spend the night in the same house with him. 

"Oh really?" Artemis replied casually, his voice sounding a tad doubtful. "And who will lull you back into sleep after a nightmare?"

"I'd rather ask that fat and ugly chief than you," she hissed. Luckily Emerald Snake had already left them alone.

"Not a bad idea," the Irish youth remarked. "After all, he must be about sixty years old. Much closer to your age, old lady."

"I'm _not_ old!"

"Yes, you are."

"Okay, perhaps I am." She crossed her arms defiantly. "But compared to me, you're just a snot-nosed kid, Mud Boy."

"A snot-nosed kid, who happens to be the father of your son," he added. "And I was even more of a snot-nosed kid when you made me a father, you perverted woman."

"How long are you going to rub it in?" she sighed.

"As long as you don't apologise for the sperm-stealing."

"You can wait for that as long as you live!" she snapped. "And I hope it won't be long!"

As the door of her cottage banged shut behind her, Artemis allowed himself a smile. Fiery, as always. And that's what he liked about her.

Wondering whether Holly had been at least a bit upset about the big attention the chief's lovely daughter had been giving him during the feast, Artemis slipped into his bed. It was considerably more comfortable than Patrick's small cot had been. After all, this was a human-sized bed.

Well, he kept thinking, Holly indeed seemed to be trying to hide her annoyance, but it had been there, he had clearly seen it. It was a useful talent to be able to read people's expressions like an open book…

If only he'd get another chance to 'test' the fairy's inclination to jealousy…

As a wish come true, the door of his cottage opened and a lithe figure walked in.

Artemis sat up in his bed, straining his eyes. The moon shone into the room through the window, so it wasn't that difficult to recognise the night-time visitor.

"God Artemis?" the visitor asked in a slightly shaky voice.

"Fragrant Flower?" he asked back. "What are you doing here?"

"Fragrant Flower… came to repent for her insolent remark on your colour, mighty God."

"Listen, really no need for apologies, and don't even think of sacrificing any of your body parts, because-"

"It is no sacrifice for Fragrant Flower, mighty God," she replied, stepping closer to him. "It is merely a… gift to you."

"A gift? What?" Artemis frowned.

As a response she undid the fastenings on her cloak and let it slip to the floor, leaving her gloriously naked in the light of the nearly full moon.

* * *

**A/N**: particularly evil, I know. Will Arty be tempted in any way? Find out from the next chapter...   
And now, review, please! 


	13. Naked truth

**Author's note: **sorry about the late update, but first ffnet was down, then my modem went crazy and wouldn't let me online, then ffnet again disabled uploading, so... yeah. Wasn't my fault.

It is possible that you will find some weird symbols in the text - ffnet put them in when I uploaded the html file. I tried to edit them out in quickedit, but I'm not sure I noticed all of them.

Good news for those who wanted me to write **A/H smut**: I've decided to try and write one. I don't know yet whether it will be R or NC-17 rated. If the former, then I will publish it here on ffnet, if the latter, then I will publish it on However, the story will **not** be publised before I finished posting this fic here, since it will be a one-shot 'sequel' or 'aside' to the final chapter of this story. Now I'm seeking a beta for this to-be-written Artemis/Holly smut fic. Please only volunteer if English is your native language and you believe that your grammar is perfect. Thanks!

_Mistri, Tonks' Admirer:_ I don't have a link to the 'write a novel in a month', but send a mail to LittleGreenPerson (that's her ffnet username), she's taking part in it. As far as I know, this year's contest is over, it was about writing a novel in November. Well, I'm TRYING to write in British English, but I can't say I always succeed. Sometimes I do use Americanisms (especially in my older fics, those are full of Americanisms), but I'm trying to get rid of them as much as possible. I find British English more elegant (please don't shout at me, Americans!). I know, I'm not in my right mind about Mulch/Opal... but I love the idea. Certainly Artemis IS a girl's name (Greek goddess of archery!). A/H doing unmentionables in a shower? LOL, that's a great idea ;) Yes, you can borrow the last line of chapter 12.

_TinkerBell394587_: believe me, my singing voice really sucks. It sounds your life isn't boring with all those stage things...

_C-chan1_: thanks for pointing out the typos, keep doing it. De-nail? LOL. Am I unpredictable? That's a good thing ;)

_LittleGreenPerson_: Mulch/Opal not right? Hmm... perhaps. But I don't care :DDDDD

_neutralgal_: I don't know yet whether there will be a sequel (a many-chaptered one, I mean). I'd like to write one (even have some plot ideas), but for the time being I'm too busy for that, I only have time to write a one-shot (see author's note above). Perhaps I'll write a many-chaptered sequel over the summer. I hope people won't forget this fic until I come out with a sequel (_IF_ I come out with one - I can't promise it, really).

_harriettapotter_: answer to your first question in chapter 16 :) Answer to your second question: Artemis finds Holly's healing sessions very pleasurable, but he tries not to show it. However, in chapter 17 he can no longer hide it what he feels when she heals him... -AgiVega slaps both hands on her mouth and doesn't reveal what she almost revealed- ;)

_trohS-ylloH_: the story has 21 chapters.

_Holly Rox_: who wrote Summer nights? I'd like to read it!

_sabouki:_ been to Chichén Itza? I'm green with envy! I can't even hope to visit Mexico, it'd be too damn expensive (I live in central Europe, and the distance is too big...)

_Llama Child:_ Artemis is much more 'subtle' when dealing with Fragrant Flower. Thanks for the suggestions, but the story is mostly written out and I'm not going to change anything anymore (only grammar if my beta finds mistakes :)

_BeatlesLover_: the natives speak their own language, but since you're reading the story from Arty and Holly's pov, and they understand all languages (Holly thanks to her natural talent and Arty thanks to the translator), you're seeing/hearing what they understand from the Indians' language. My penname is pronounced as Aagee Veguh (the g's are in both cases like the 'g' in the word 'game', not like the 'g' in the word 'general').

_WackedOutPet13_: yes, the whole thing is written out, but I'm still tweaking it.

_The OddBird_: you WILL see embarrassed Artemis too. Soon ;)

_suga CraZie_: I'm glad you like the A/H in this fic although you don't like it in other fics :)

_utena_: Patrick is too young to hook up with anyone.

_sophianwin:_ yup, there should be a PG-14 category :)) Thanks for the correction.

_kirby freak_: this is still PG-13, but a strong PG-13.

_Cyberspace_: glad you think I'm on the boundary of PG-13 and haven't overstepped it. I don't even intend to. As I promised back in chapter one, there will be no sex in the fic, only desire. And a little nudity still fits into PG-13 ;)

_Epsilon2Delta:_ there will be loads of romantic moments like the healing in the future chapters, glad you liked it. I can't imagine Mulch/Opal as a really serious couple either, but still... I like the idea of them together. The typical case of the beauty and the beast, just in a more humorous version ;)

_angelamisaki:_ if I wrote a sequel (a long one), it would be about Arty/Holly living together, and Patrick wouldn't have a major role in it. Perhaps I will write one, but only over the summer, not any sooner.

_TrunkZy_: how on earth did I write a long chapter like that? Dunno... I started it and couldn't stop ;) Actually this chapter and chapter 14 were one chapter too, but my mum said it was too long, so I cut it in half. I agree: Opal DOES deserve someone like Mulch :D Fragrant Flower isn't a slut, she was advised (ordered) by her dad to go and um... serve Arty. As you will see in this chapter. She isn't in love with Arty, but fancies him a little bit (as we all do;) Yeah, perhaps the ending was a bit clichéish, but it still freaked most of the readers out, and that was my aim ;)

_Neutrino_: thank you very much, I'm so glad you like my drawings :D As for poor Fragrant Flower - yeah, I think she might have got a nasty cold, having to stand starkers for 18 days ;)

_Marfbag_: as far as I know, I'm the first AF fanfic author to write a Mulch/Opal relationship. The forbidden alcohol rule was in the first Artemis book.

_mangafreak2273_:I haven't seen Master and Commander, I only know it was nominated for a few Oscars. Holly, according to Eoin Colfer, was 80 years old in the second AF book. So she's 94 in my story (as 14 years have passed since the Arctic Incident). Remember that fairies age much slower than humans and have a life expectancy of over 1000 years. Root, for example, is over six hundred years old (according to the first AF book).

_holkimaelar_: don't worry, you haven't given me a big head. I don't think anyone could give me a big head, I'm too shy and suffering-in-inferiority-complex for that. Yeah, that's the sad truth, no matter how much people praise my fics/arts, I will never think I'm good enough - sigh-. Answering your questions: Quasimodo only choose Patrick to get a biochemist and a sacrifice in one. The reversal substance will be important later. Quasi knew about Patrick because Patrick was famous in whole Haven, due to his unusual intellect. In chapter three I wrote that mothers were telling their children who didn't perform well in school that they should take a leaf out of that Patrick Short's book. That's why Patrick got beaten by some gnomes - they were fed up with the little genius's success.

Also thanks to: _animezebra, Dr. F. Roy Dean Schlippe, Spooks-A-Lot, kissimi, septempopuli, manveri mirkiel, Mr Nozzers, CrazyInsanity, AprilEchidna, Obsessive Perfectionist, luckyducky7too, roastpuff, Princess Arwen Evenstar 77, Lady Emerald Black, Happyhermit, specklednewt, FriskyFireDemon, Obsessed with Arty, Yuffie Paine, Leea-Silver_

* * *

**Chapter 13**

**Naked truth**

Artemis stared at Fragrant Flower for about half a minute without uttering a single word. He had to give it to her, she was beautiful - perhaps the prettiest female he had ever seen (no wonder, since the only females he knew were his mother, Juliet, Holly, and those few dozen unfortunate wife-candidates who had passed the IQ test and got a chance to meet him in person).  
There were few times when Artemis didn't know how to react to certain events, but this one happened to belong to those very few cases. Here he was, staring at a desirable, naked girl, and not knowing what to say or what to do. Well, of course, having delved into biology, he knew exactly what he was _supposed to do_, but somehow he just... couldn't. Not that his body couldn't have managed the task -on the contrary: he felt an uncomfortable stirring inside his pants- but his mind somehow held him back.

The old Artemis would perhaps have taken advantage of the situation- the girl was very likely a virgin thus surely not carrying any STD's, so it would have been fairly safe to have sexual intercourse with her. Not to mention that Artemis, no matter how much he had tried to convince himself that he didn't care a bit for women; was a young, healthy male who occasionally fantasised about sex.

Today's Artemis, however, couldn't bring himself to deflower the chief's daughter. It wouldn't have been 'proper'. Artemis the First would have been proud of his son for sure...

"Is everything all right, oh mighty God Artemis?" The Indian girl's voice broke the silence.

"Uh... yeah. I think so. Just... put your cloak back on."

The girl raised an eyebrow at him- her face was illuminated by the moon's beam, so he could easily make out her features and see the doubtful expression on her face. Then her mouth tucked into a smile, as though it had just dawned on her. "Fragrant Flower sees," she said. "You're that type who likes doing it with some clothes on. It's more exciting that way, isn't it? That is... Fragrant Flower heard it from her friend Golden Corn. Golden Corn's husband is a bit mischievous, she says... He loves doing it wearing nothing but a hat, for example. You too?"

"Not exactly," the young man replied, feeling himself blush. _Snap out of it! _He shouted at himself. Y_ou're Artemis Fowl the Second, for heaven's sake! You're not supposed to blush, especially not before such uncultured, unknowing females! Holly Short making you embarrassed all the time is enough, but this is just too much!_

"Then?" She blinked, brushing a few of her jet-black locks off her chest, gently arranging them to fall over her shoulders to expose every bit of her curves.

Artemis gulped, quickly diverting his eyes from her bosom. _Think of disgusting things! He ordered himself. Goblins. Big, slimy, stupid goblins... Climbing up a sewer pipe full of century-old fairy excrement... Dwarf gas..._

This finally had its effect and the stirring in his pants ceased.

"Listen here, Flower... say, may I call you Fleur?"

"Fleur..." she repeated the word. Thanks to Artemis's translator she clearly understood that it meant flower, it just sounded different. "Fragrant Flower likes it. If God Artemis renames Fragrant Flower, she gladly takes her new name. It is an honour."

"Not to mention that it's elegant. French for flower," he replied.

"What is French?"

"A language from a land far, far away, and it also means the people who speak it," explained Artemis, grateful to have a chance to turn the discussion to a different topic. The last thing he felt like talking about was sex.

"What are the French like?" Fragrant Flower asked, intrigued. She sat down next to Artemis, still not bothering to dress.

"Well, they eat snails and they don't like studying other languages. They are said to be great lovers too."

_Dang it._ Why did he have to say that?- he wondered. He did _not_ want to talk about sex!

"And Fleur supposes you're a great lover too..."she breathed, tentatively running a finger down Artemis's arm.

The young man willed himself to remain indifferent and act like a real Fowl. "Listen here, Fleur. I cannot take you. Not even if I wanted to."

"Why not?" she asked, surprised. Her father and brother had sent her here, telling her that the mighty god would surely gladly accept her 'gift' and she should be grateful for the opportunity to appease the god in such a pleasant way. If it _was _pleasant at all. She didnt know; she had never tried it. But she had come here willingly- God Artemis was undoubtedly an attractive male, and a deity at that! Obsidian Snake and Emerald Snake had even told her that with a little luck she could give birth to a half-god. That would have been the greatest honour."

However, Artemis didn't intend to leave any illegitimate Fowl heirs around- Patrick was just enough."

"Why not? Because I'm impotent, that's why," he responded, positive that the girl hadn't noticed his temporary... discomfort. It had been thoroughly covered with the blanket.

"You're what?" Her eyes widened. Although she understood his words thanks to the translator, 'impotent' belonged to those words whose meaning weren't clear for her at all.

"It means I can't get it up." He pointed at his crotch with a sheepish grin. No doubt, he was a born actor.

"Oh." She breathed. "That's no problem, mighty god. We have herbs that can heal such problems..."

Artemis heaved a theatrical sigh. "I'm afraid my problem can't be solved by mere herbs. War injury. Really nasty and incurable."

"War? What war?" Fragrant Flower frowned.

"The war of... Middle Earth," the young man answered. "Against the evil orcs."

"That sounds really horrible," she whispered. "You must have fought very bravely!"

"Yeah," he sighed again, putting his right hand on his heart. "That's me. Selfless and brave, risking my health to save the world..."

"And this time you're trying to save it from evil white men who want to kill your son," she added reverently. "But... forgive Fleur for asking, oh mighty God, how is it possible that you have a son when you can't..." Her eyes shifted to his lower regions.

Artemis waved. "Deities do not need to resort to such mundane methods as humans do."

Her eyes sparkled with interest. "Really? Then how do gods do it?"

"With their minds." Artemis winked at her.

"Huh?"

"Brain waves. Energy transfer," he explained. "But I'd rather not go into details, since I doubt you'd understand it. Pure metaphysics."

Fragrant Flower gave him a politely confused smile then shrugged. Gods' business was something she wasn't supposed to understand, anyway.

"Well, since you cannot... er... _perform_, mighty God, please tell Fleur how else she could make you forgive her for her insolence," she said finally.

Artemis rolled his eyes. "I have long forgiven you, Fleur. I've never even been mad at you. _However..."_

"However?" She fluttered her eyelashes at him.

"You could... _appease me_ if you told me about this pyramid. Everything you know about it. _If_ you know anything, that is."

"Well, of course." She nodded. "Everybody of the last Aztecs knows the function of the pyramid in Second Tenochtitlan. Children are taught about it at a very young age- just to make sure that they won't venture near to it."

"So it is really that dangerous," Artemis concluded.

"It is. It was designed to kill, after all. To kill the evil white men with fire-spitting sticks."

"But your priests never had a chance to use that idol on the enemy, your brother told me. What about you, the Aztecs of the present? Do you know how to use it?"

She seemed hesitant for a minute; then shrugged. "We know things. We know how to get into the pyramid if a new enemy trying to destroy our little tribe appears. But we hope beyond hope that we will never have to use the idol."

"Yet now someone else wants to use it, to kill off good people, people who don't deserve to die," he said heavily. "And in order to stop them we need to get into the pyramid before they do. Can you tell me what to expect in there?"

Professor Fox had told him that the pyramid was protected by curses and traps, but not even she knew what sort of traps. "I heard about a curse that allegedly... keeps the air clean... above the pyramid. Do you know what this means?"

"Certainly." The Aztec girl nodded. "Our ancestors charmed the airspace above and around Second Tenochtitlan to make sure that no one who wanted to approach from the sky would be able to."

"Now wait a minute." Artemis frowned. "This was five hundred years ago! There weren't any airplanes, helicopters and such things back then... what did they want to keep the pyramid safe from? Birds?"

The young woman smiled in an embarrassed way. "Fleur does not know what mighty God Artemis is talking about. Heli-what?"

"Nothing. I was just thinking aloud." Artemis got up and walked to the window. The little Aztec village was peaceful and quiet. The stars weren't easily discernible in the light of the almost full moon, but the ones with the smallest magnitude thus the greatest brightness were not that difficult to spot.

"Tell me," he turned to the woman who had also stood up, "whom would the Aztec people have to sacrifice if they had to use the idol? Just out of curiosity..."

She walked to the window, biting her lower lip. She seemed deep in thought. Artemis wondered how she wasn't cold at all, wearing absolutely nothing. "Well... as far as I know, the one who wishes to use the idol has two options for a sacrifice. He may sacrifice either a young virgin or a warrior of the folk he wishes to wipe out. Our priest ancestors intended to use the latter option since there were very likely no young virgins in the evil white men's army. They wanted to capture someone from the enemy and sacrifice him on the altar of Itzcoliuhqui, God of darkness and destruction."

"So the point is that you have to sacrifice either a virgin or a warrior from the folk you wish to destroy," Artemis mused.

"Yes." She nodded.

Turning away from her, he looked out the window, his eyes focusing on Holly's cottage. He expected the fairy to be long asleep and wondered whether she was having any nightmares about Patrick's death again. He hoped she did not. He cast a sideways glance at the chief's daughter. She was also staring out into the night, her beautiful profile bathed in moonlight. She was really the prettiest woman he'd ever met, yet the desire he'd felt for her had dissolved as quickly as it had come. He came to the conclusion that any pretty young woman would have had the same effect on him, and that effect would have been just as temporary and fleeting as this one had been. Fragrant Flower was standing close to him, within the reach of an arm, but he no longer felt the slightest bit of longing to touch her. On the other side of the road, however, slept someone whom he would have gladly touched, even if he wouldn't admit it to himself.

"You love her, don't you?" the girl spoke up.

"Who?" Artemis knitted his eyebrows, giving the perfect image of a confused man.

"Goddess Holly."

"No. What makes you think so?"

"For one, she's the mother of your son."

"True. But our son was... conceived without us feeling any love for each other," he replied, and he wasn't even lying. It felt strange to be telling the truth for a change.

"Yes, perhaps," Fragrant Flower agreed. "Perhaps you didn't love her back then. But now you do."

"You women always think you know so much about emotions," he sighed.

The girl was wrong. He liked Holly. He respected her like an equal. He found her vivacious and funny nature entertaining. But love her? Oh come on... Artemis Fowl II did not know what love meant.

"Yes," she whispered. "Just because we really do know more about feelings than you males do, mighty God. Forgive Fleur for her impudence, but she's just telling the truth. Fleur is especially gifted when it comes to recognising feelings. And the way you were looking at the house the Goddess is sleeping in... it told Fleur everything."

"Then it told you things that not even I know," he grunted, but his eyes never left the fairy's cottage.

_Silly girl_, he fumed. _How can she even suppose that I would fall for the commander? A fairy? That would be, after all, an interspecies relationship! And cross-species breeding never proved sensible..._

He shuddered. Had he really thought of cross-species _breeding_? Between him and Holly?

He forced his eyes shut, willing his mind to clear of the disturbing thoughts.

Things were getting out of hand... The 'normal' Artemis would never even have let such a thought cross his mind! True that there was Patrick, the living result of such a project, but as the term 'cross-species breeding' had crossed his mind, he had not been thinking of breeding in petri dishes, but the traditional way...

_You're calling **Holly** a perverted woman, and here you are, having such thoughts..._ he berated himself. The typical case of the pot calling the kettle black.

Cross-species breeding... honestly.

Artemis repressed a sigh. As a scientist, he was aware of all the negative side effects that may occur during such a project. It had been a wonder that Patrick had turned out more or less normal, having a human for a father and an elf for a mother!  
Certainly, under laboratory circumstances it must have been quite easy for Foaly to pull off the fertilisation, but Artemis knew that the traditional way he and Holly could never have had a child. She was way too tiny to carry a possibly human-baby-sized-baby to term and give birth to it, not to mention that there could have been complications with the traditional attempt at conceiving a child.

Size does matter.

For a second he wondered why an evil lump had formed in his throat at the thought of himself and the commander doing things the... traditional way.

Artemis banished the thought. He did not love Holly, did not desire her, and even less did he want to have another child by her.

Period.

"You seem far away," Fragrant Flower's voice shook him out of his reverie.

"I was just thinking of my son," he replied, not even noticing how he'd referred to Patrick. Up till now he had been careful to mention the boy as 'the boy', or as 'our son', but never 'my son'.

The Indian girl reached out and put a hand on his shoulder, gently squeezing it. "Fleur is sure you will manage to save him. You and Goddess Holly are deities, while the enemy is merely human. And perhaps Itzcoliuhqui won't even accept your son as a sacrifice, given that he has the blood of immortals flowing through his veins..."

_Immortal. I wish..._ Artemis thought.

That was when it hit him. And it hit him like a lightning.

The chief's daughter had been talking about it for minutes and he hadn't realised it yet!

He felt like screaming and banging his head into something hard. Were his famous brain cells beginning to fail him?

He ran his hand nervously through his pitch-black locks, his mind racing at top-speed.

Obviously Professor Fox had been misinformed, or at least not sufficiently informed on the subject of Second Tenochtitlan. She had told him that the sacrificed person needed to be a virgin, but very clearly she didn't know that the sacrificed person could as well be a warrior, and either had to be _one of the folk to be wiped out_.

Patrick was _half and half._ And that meant...

If Artemis's plan failed and the boy got killed on the altar of Itzcoliuhqui, the target of the idol's destroying power would be both fairies and humans. This idol could wipe out both species... or at least wipe half of each species.

Patrick was a boy, and if the idol had to select which half of the fairy folk and the humans to wipe, it was possible that it would destroy only the males of both species. And if it came to pass, then Holly's little sperm-stealing manoeuvre would be dwarfed by what was to come. There weren't enough sperm banks in the world to satisfy the needs of three billion single women!

The lump in Artemis's throat grew by tenfold, threatening to suffocate him. He had come here in the hope of saving Patrick and the fairy People (and acquiring some gold to reward himself after they'd pulled off his brilliant plan), but now he was facing a much bigger threat: the destruction of his own kind, and possibly his own destruction.

"Are you all right?" the chief's daughter asked in a worried voice.

"Yeah," Artemis said, but he was aware that he didn't sound too convincing. There were situations when not even the infamous Fowl ability of deception worked. "Fleur, I would be grateful if you left me alone. I have to think things over."

"Have I said something that hurt you, mighty God? If so, then please tell me how I can put it right," she beseeched him.

"No, you haven't hurt me." He grasped her hand reassuringly. "Go and get some sleep. Go."

Not daring to defy a god, she nodded, picked up her cloak, pulled it on and hurried out, leaving the young man alone with the horrible realisation that he might not survive this mission.

* * *

"You look exhausted," Holly remarked after Emerald Snake collected her and Artemis for the 'sunrise viewing of Second Tenochtitlan'. 

Artemis waved in a tired way. He hadn't slept for a second after the Aztec girl's shocking revelation. But the fairy wasn't to know that. She had enough to worry about.

"Stubble doesn't suit you well... nor do the shadows under your eyes. I expect the little princess kept you awake all night," Holly said coldly, giving him a withering glance.

"What?"

"I saw you." She pouted. "I couldn't fall asleep at first, so I sat in the window for a while. You can't have noticed me, since my window wasn't illuminated by the moon like yours..."

"Oh," he breathed, trying to keep up with Emerald Snake who was leading them towards an unknown place, either not listening to their conversation or pretending to be ignoring it.

"Yes, _oh_," the commander said sarcastically. "The little princess looked rather pretty in the moonlight, starkers..."

"She did," he agreed, resolute to play along. If she was trying to embarrass him, he would make sure she failed. A satisfied smile appeared on his face- Holly was _jealous_.

"I expect it is superfluous to ask what you two were doing," she continued, holding up her head, trying to look composed.

"Indeed superfluous," Artemis replied.

Holly's eyes narrowed and she looked away from him, marching silently after the Aztec prince.

After a minute of silent walking and contempt radiating from every pore of Holly's, Artemis decided to get things straight.

"French," he said suddenly.

"French?" She scowled. "Was it any good?"

"You misunderstood me." Artemis sighed. "I told her about the French. And she told me about the pyramid. That's all that happened between us. I did not have sex with that woman, Miss Lew... Fragrant Flower."

The commander gave him a dubious glance, but as far as she could tell from his expression, there was a slight chance that he was telling the truth. "And I expect the only way she could tell you about the pyramid was in the nude. By the way, what did she tell you about the pyramid?"

"Nothing worth of mentioning." He looked away from her.

"You. Are. Not. Telling. Me. Something." Holly said in an accusing tone.

"You're imagining things, your Commandership." He forced a smile.

"We'll see, Fowl," she growled. "But if it is of any importance, you'd better tell me."

"If it were important, I would tell you. However, Fleur didn't tell me anything of interest."

_"Fleur?"_

Artemis shrugged. "Fragrant Flower is too long to utter every single time. Fleur is just one syllable and means the same, after all."

"And what is _she_ calling _you_? Art, perhaps? That's just one syllable, too..."

"No one is allowed to call me by nicknames, except for my parents and Juliet," the young man answered with the trademark Fowl dignity.

"We are almost there, mighty gods," Emerald Snake said over his shoulder, putting an end to the duo's bickering.

"Good to hear, it's almost sunrise," Holly remarked. Indeed, the horizon was getting lighter and lighter by the second, and rosy-fingered dawn had recently wiped the stars off the sky. "I just don't know where they are going to show us that pyramid from... Well, wherever it is, I do hope it's a shady place."

"Too bad you can't stand the sun, Commander," Artemis said as Emerald Snake turned a corner. "Ah, I think I know where he's leading us."

The native was walking towards a wooden fortress built on the hillside. The Aztec village was surrounded by steep hills from all sides, like some tiny playground nestled among several skyscrapers. If you weren't looking down from a window of a skyscraper, you wouldn't even notice the playground.

They climbed the hillside (Artemis suppressed the urge to complain about having to break a sweat - he knew Holly would only give him her usual withering glance) and arrived at the wooden building just before sunup.

"Good morning, precious gods! I trust you had a nice sleep?" Obsidian Snake greeted them, bowing. Obviously he had been there for a while, waiting for them.

"Good morning, Chief," Holly returned the greeting.

"Where's the pyramid?" Artemis wondered.

"Just a little time more..." The chief pointed at the horizon that had turned into a painter's palette- pink, violet, orange and yellow mixed above the trees' foliage, and suddenly their upper branches were bathed in golden light. The first ray of the sun swept over the trees, making both Holly and Artemis gasp.

The pyramid.

It was there - beautiful, majestic and mystical, only its top standing out of the immense sea of trees.

"How... how is this possible?" the elf girl breathed.

"Our ancestors made sure it would be visible only when the sun is up, and it disappears at night as though it was never there," Obsidian Snake replied.

"But the sacrificial ritual..." Artemis interjected, "it has to be accomplished over the night. At full moon."

"Indeed, mighty god," the chief answered. "If you wish to use the idol at full moon, you've got to enter the pyramid at daytime, before the sun sets. Because as soon as it dives behind the horizon, you are trapped within the building's walls till the next sunrise. Obsidian Snake believes it was to make sure that the person to be sacrificed wouldn't escape overnight."

"That means that overnight the pyramid exists in another dimension?" young Fowl asked.

"Obsidian Snake does not know what dime... dime-what means, he is just telling what he knows." The chief shrugged.

"I see." Artemis nodded. "From what I've heard from some of your people, Chief, it seems to me that your tribe fears the pyramid... so I expect you wouldn't be willing to come along with Goddess Holly and me there, would you?"

The chief hung his head. "Forgive Obsidian Snake, oh mighty God, but no one of our tribe has ever gone near that building and we have sworn not to go there, unless we need to use the idol on a future enemy - which we hope we will never have to do. If our refusal brings your wrath upon us, then so be it, but we will not go near Second Tenochtitlan. However, we are ready to provide you with meal, water and weaponry for the journey."

"How long do you reckon it will take us to get to the pyramid?" Holly asked.

"Just over a day, Goddess."

So that was why Emerald Snake had brought them to the village the day before, Artemis mused. First, because he refused to go near the pyramid; second, because he had known that they wouldn't reach Second Tenochtitlan before sundown and he had wanted to provide his rescuers with dinner and a comfortable place to spend the night before they continued their journey.

"Do tell, Chief, what sort of trials and traps do we have to face in the pyramid? I trust you can tell that much," Artemis said, his features deliberately arranged to look hurt and dissatisfied. Let the Chief have pangs of remorse for not wanting to fight on their side.

"Well," Obsidian Snake scratched his jaw, trying to remember the old tales he had heard from his father and grandfathers. "Since the pyramid of Second Tenochtitlan is in connection with death and destruction, our priest ancestors decided to set tasks in connection with death."

"Sounds bad already," Holly muttered to Artemis who bit into his lower lip and looked away. She again got the impression that he was keeping something from her.

"Tell more about it," the young genius urged the chief.

"As you surely know, gracious gods, there are four paradises we can get to after we die," Obsidian Snake carried on. "The eastern paradise, the 'house of the sun', is the home of the souls of warriors who were killed in combat. The sacrificed enemies go here too. The western paradise, the 'house of corn', is the resting place of women who died in childbirth. The southern paradise is for people who died of being struck by a lightning or getting sicknesses. And finally the northern paradise, Mictlan, is the place for the rest. In order to get into Mictlan, the dead person's soul has to go through eight trials:

1) cross a deep river  
2) pass between two mountains which are joined together  
3) climb an obsidian mountain  
4) pass through icy wind  
5) pass through a place where flags wave  
6) be pierced by arrows  
7) pass among wild beasts which eat human hearts  
8) pass over a narrow path of stone  
On the ninth level the soul finds rest. Anyone who wishes to get inside the chamber where the idol is being kept needs to go through the eight trials of the soul. That is all I can tell you about it. I wish I could help more, but it is beyond my power."

"Thank you for your help, Chief."

* * *

Patrick was annoyed. Quench's guards had woken him up at half past five, saying they were setting off again. It had been the same the day before - walking, tumbling through prickly bushes, wading across brooks... just walking and walking, relentlessly. 

The previous day he had tried to sidle as close to his captor as possible to catch some words from what he was discussing with that woman who Patrick assumed was 'Miss Frazetti', but whenever he tried to get near them, Fern caught him and wiggled his finger at the boy in a disapproving way. However, as long as it didn't occur to the thick guard to forbid him to try and go near Mr Quench, Patrick kept trying. The only things he had to do under the effect of the Obedience Serum were orders and prohibitions told to him clearly.

Occasionally Patrick noticed Miss Frazetti looking at him with a curious expression, and he assumed that Quartz hadnt told the woman everything about him - for one thing he surely hadn't told anyone that Patrick was a half-fairy.

Patrick wondered what exactly his captor had told Frazetti about him - he was sure that there must have been questions concerning why a young boy was travelling with them through the jungle. What disturbed him most was that not even _he_ knew the answer to that question. Once he even tried to trick Fern into spilling the beans, but he had to come to the conclusion that the guard either did not know why his master needed their captive, or he had been cleverer than he looked and saw through Patrick's trick. Patrick assumed the previous must have been the case, since neither of Quench's guards could be called intelligent.

As to what the truth really was: Quartz hadn't told anyone that he wanted to sacrifice the boy, not even his two toadies. The latter knew about his intention of destroying the fairy People, but believing their own families to be safe, they didn't care for the rest.

Carla hadn't been told much either. She willingly followed the masked man into the jungle, eager to raid the 'golden pyramid'. She was even contemplating to separate herself from the Antonelli clan if this mission yielded a lot of money. She had always wanted to start her own little crime enterprise in which her beloved godfather didn't have a word.

* * *

"Sir!" 

Quench, who for once happened to be walking without a chat-partner, looked at Patrick with narrowed eyes. His guard Reed was walking behind him, holding a cage with a freshly caught howler monkey in it.

"What are you doing here?" Quench snapped. "How did you get away from Fern?"

"He got suddenly very interested in a translucent hummingbird, giving me an opportunity to come and talk to you," replied the boy innocently.

"There are no translucent birds," Quartz grunted.

"Really?" The boy made a surprised face. "But I thought I saw one... Fern is just trying to spot it too..."

"Don't think your little plays can deceive me. There are no see-through birds and you, the biologist should know that better than I do."

"If I know it better, then how can you be so sure that there aren't any?" Young Short raised a reddish eyebrow at his kidnapper.

"To the point, boy. You tricked my guard to come here and talk to me. Why didn't you rather use the opportunity and run into the forest?"

"No use," Patrick replied. "The gorillas would have easily caught me, since I'm small and can't run fast enough. And then they would probably even hit me, or something. I don't feel like doing the rest of the journey injured. By the way, speaking of the journey, when will you finally tell me where we are going?"

Quench pursed his lips, thinking. "You're right. I might as well tell you, it won't hurt anyone. Our destination is an Aztec pyramid full of gold."

"Bravo." Patrick rolled his eyes. "So you're not rich enough, you want more."

"You're mistaken, my boy. I do not desire the gold," Quartz said with an unsympathetic smile that made a shiver run down Patrick's spine.

"It's in connection with the genocide, then."

"Bingo. You're indeed a clever boy, my little friend."

"I'm not your friend," young Short hissed. "And tell me at last, why do you need _me_?"

Quartz's smile widened even more. "I'm sorry, but I cannot tell you that - yet. Be patient, boy, and you will find out. And now, go and fetch that idiot Fern."

"Yes, sir," the boy sighed. He had been ordered and he couldn't refuse.

"And don't ever trick him again."

"Yes, sir."

"And pull that cap lower. Your ear-tips are almost showing."

"Yes sir..."

* * *

**A/N**: a bit of an abrupt ending, I know, but it's because this chapter and chapter 14 were originally one chapter, but I cut it in half to make sure it isn't TOO long. 

At the beginning of chapter one I wrote that there would be a recurrent motif in this fic - something that all of my earlier long fics have. You were guessing what it was, but no need to keep guessing anymore: it's the tasks/trials.

A little reminder, in case you don't remember the tasks in my earlier fics:

- in the** 'Greatest Scandal'**: Harry needs to fight his way through the labyrinth in the Khufu pyramid to save Ginny's soul with the help of the Green Flame Torch  
- in the **'Greatest Shame'** there's the Triwizard Tournament at Durmstrang with Harry as judge and Dennis Creevey as the Hogwarts champion  
- in the **'Greatest Enemy'** there's the 'Champion/Queen of Beauty and Love' contest, held in honour of Hogwarts' 1000th anniversary  
- in **'If the Fates allow'** there's the Row of Gods on island Delos where Harry and Ginny need to accomplish tasks set by Greek gods/goddesses

The trials in this fic are different from the above mentioned ones in one aspect: they aren't completely made up by me. I found the list of trials on the web, on a site about Aztec mythology. However, there was only this list, but there weren't any descriptions, so I had to fill the list with contents. I could add a disclaimer here: the list itself belongs to the Aztecs, but the way the tasks look like and the way they are accomlished was made up by me. Tasks coming in chapters 16-17 :)

**REVIEW, please!**


	14. Artemis the hunter

**Author's note:** has anyone here read **The Secret Garden** by F.H. Burnett? I first read it when I was about 10, and now, after over 12 years I reread it again, and had to realise that one of the main characters (Colin Craven) reminds me a LOT of Artemis. And when he argues with the other main character (Mary Lennox), they are soooo much like Arty/Holly arguing! You can imagine, I couldn't stop grinning and thinking of A/H... Read The Secret Garden, it's a cool book :D 

**WARNING**: this chapter contains some strong PG-13 stuff. Actually the strongest PG-13 stuff that will ever occur in this fic. I'm sure it doesn't reach R rating, but still, better be warned.

A **little explanation** is needed before you read this chapter. There are some very primitive tribes (either in the South American jungles or on some Indonesian island - I don't remember) in which men wear a funny wooden tube on their hmm... member. The tube is attached to their hips in a way to keep their member in a more or less vertical position. I saw this in some documentaries, I'm not making it up. And now you will understand Holly's comment about tubes ;)

_Amoria Mirai_: most people said they loved the conception idea, because it was much better this way than it had been if Holly had forced Artemis to shag her or something… and I think it's really better this way.

_Sophianwin_: 'Miss Lew…' was the unfinished version of Miss Lewinsky. You know, Clinton said 'I did not have sex with that woman, Miss Lewinsky'. LOL. Yes, Arty was just flustered and couldn't be the 'normal Artemis' in his embarrassed state. About the language - I can't help it, English still isn't my native language and I can't write in a perfect style.

_Mistri, Tonks' Admirer_: yes, Fleur was a reference to Miss Delacour. Thanks for volunteering to beta the A/H smut fic, but I've had a British volunteer as well, and I chose her, as I'm TRYING to write in British English. Thanks again.

_HarriettaPotter_: Arty's other reason for being nice was gold, I think, though I don't remember that particular dialogue between him and Holly and am too lazy to try and find it. The point is that Arty came for this journey for two reasons, as he will tell Holly in this chapter. Why did he feel remorse? Because he knows that he shouldn't adore gold as much as he does. Before he came along for this journey, he'd thought that gold was the most important thing, but spending so much time with Holly changed his preferences, even though he is reluctant to admit it yet.

_C-chan1_: Quench doesn't realise that by killing Patrick he might wipe out humans as well. I didn't miss the question mark, ffnet stole it when I uploaded the chapter. I mentioned in the A/N of the previous chapter that ffnet had screwed up the uploading. I don't dislike H/Hr, I just don't read such fics. Ships that I dislike are all slash ships and D/G. I hate D/G to death.

_Lady Emerald Black_: please read my answer to C-chan1.

_TinkerBell394587_: I'm glad you haven't stopped reading :D

_Neutrino_: please read my answer to Sophianwin.

_DarkFlower2113_: nice to see you again! I liked the vegetarian god part too. I hope you will like the names of the 'statues' in this chapter as well :)

_BeatlesLover_: yup, I LOVE putting tasks into my fics :)

_LittleGreenPerson_: Patrick told Quench in chapter 7 or 8 that he's only half-fairy, but Quench didn't realise that killing Patrick would mean possibly killing all humans as well. He's too damn stupid for that.

_Epsilon2Delta_: yeah, perhaps the sexual innuendo jokes are a bit immature, but hey, Arty and Holly LOVE teasing each other :D Artemis Jones - LOL, that made me rotfl. Well, seduction scenes and unexpected pregnancies are common in my HP fics, but not in this one. No one got pregnant in this one, and so far no one really seduced anyone. And won't even.

_mangafreak2273_: you've been to Hungary? That's great, which parts of the country have you visited? Yeah, it's quite problematic for Arty and Holly to live together with the different-aging thing, but... love conquers all. And no, Holly won't give up her long life like Arwen did, because this isn't a LotR fanfic and I don't think it is possible in the AF world to give up your 'fairyness' :)

_Yasmin_: please read my answer to Sophianwin. I truly hope you will like my A/H smut. I think it will rather be published on adultffnet not here - just to be safe with ratings.

_Misiek_: I don't think my fic is R-rated. This chapter comes close to R, but doesn't reach it, because R-rated fics DO have sex in them, mine doesn't. My fic is a strong PG-13, but not R. Recently I've read an Artemis/Holly fic in which Holly was masturbating and crying out Artemis's name... and it was rated PG-13. Now I think THAT should be R-rated, but my story doesn't have anything more dangerous than a bit of innuendo (that, according to ffnet's rating guide, is acceptable in PG-13).

_Taka Yuki_: yes, Arty IS slightly ooc in this fic, but the reason is exactly what you said: I'm letting you have a more in-debth look on his feelings. Perhaps Colfer's Arty would be different too if he let us glimpse more of Arty's feelings.

_Llama Child:_ I updated last Sunday (28th November), and I'm updating on Monday - barely over a week passed, not two weeks like you said :)

_holikimaela_: since your comment made me insecure, I looked it up on the web: _"The first known catalogue of stars was made by the Greek Astronomer Hipparchus in about 120 B.C. and contained 1080 stars. It was later edited and increased to 1022 stars by Ptolemy in a famous catalogue known as the "Almagest". Hipparchus listed the stars that could be seen in each constellation, described their positions, and rated their brightness on **a scale of 1 to 6, the brightest being 1**. There are stars brighter than magnitude 1. The star Vega (alpha Lyrae) has a visual magnitude of 0. There are a few stars brighter than Vega. Their magnitudes will be negative."_ So, the brightest stars have the smallest magnitude, what I wrote in chapter 13 is completely right. Or at least, I might have misinterpreted something, but I thought that the _magnitue number_ should be taken into consideration, and the bigger the number, the smaller the brightess.

Also thanks to: _trohS-ylloH, WackedOutPet13, Dr. F. Roy Dean Schlippe, luckyducky7too, neutralgal, septempopuli, animezebra, VampirePeaches, sabouki, The OddBird, cutemara, Jessica Kim, Cherri J.M. Ookami, Yuffie Paine, Indigo Ziona, Spooks-A-Lot, FriskyFireDemon, specklednewt, DreamingFantasy _

* * *

**Chapter 14**

**Artemis the hunter**

Artemis and Holly were sitting on the rim of a well that stood in the centre of the Aztec village. Holly was gently tapping her wrist-phone. "One two. One two. D'Arvit. I can't contact Root because this piece of junk doesn't work," she muttered angrily. "It can't be energy problems, the battery should be enough for a month!"

"Something must be interfering with it," the young man said matter-of-factly, scratching his jaw. His stubble was getting more and more annoying by the minute. He knew that most Indian tribes got rid of their beards by burning them off, so he rather decided not to ask for the Aztecs' help with removing his facial hair. He would do it when they got home - _if_ they got home - with his wonderful Gillette Mach3… And if they didn't get home, then it would mean that they very likely died, and then he no longer would need a razor.

"Yesterday I tried to use the compass and it didn't work either," he added. "There's something in the air… some sort of radiation, perhaps… but it renders all electronic gadgets useless."

Holly grimaced. "As though we were at Hogwarts, huh?"

"Where?" He frowned.

"Oh, come on. Don't tell me you've read Lord of the Rings but not Harry Potter!"

"Why, have you read this Potter thing?" he asked, wondering how she knew he had read Lord of the Rings at all. He didn't remember mentioning it to her.

"Yeah," Holly replied. "I used to read it to my son when he was small."

A reminiscing expression spread on her face, along with a dreamy smile. How Patrick used to like that book series! He kept saying he'd choose Slytherin if the Sorting Hat ever asked him…

Holly heaved a sigh. It happened such a long, long time ago… sometimes it felt as though it had never even happened, as though it had been part of a dream, nothing else.

Memory after memory flicked through her mind: baby Patrick squirming in her arms… baby Patrick taking his first steps, saying his first word ("computer!")… Toddler Patrick taking his first hard drive apart… Then came the upset notes of his teachers advising Holly to take her son out of the primary school because he wasn't paying attention at all… She had been so proud of her 'little rebel'... And now it was possible she would lose him.

She pulled the turquoise 'powder box' out of her pocket, opened it and stared at the photo she had put on its screen as 'wallpaper'. It was a one-year-old Patrick smiling, his five or six teeth showing.

She clicked on the icon 'baby photos', but nothing happened. Of course, this too was a gadget that didn't work here. It was a wonder that the 'wallpaper' was visible at all.

She had been staring at the picture for minutes when she realised that Artemis was leaning over her shoulder. She pretended that she hadn't noticed his sudden interest in their son's photo, but it crossed her mind whether the photo had triggered something in him - whether it had 'blown on that spark of decency'… She hoped that it had.

After several minutes she closed the little gadget.

Artemis immediately looked away, hoping that Holly hadn't noticed him gazing at the child's picture. "What's taking them so long?" he groaned, just to put his upset equilibrium right again. He _wasn't_ used to looking at baby pictures. None of the Fowl males were. His mother, of course, had been different. He had caught her on several occasions looking at his baby photos and even showing them to guests, to Artemis's utter horror. There was nothing more humiliating than a snapshot of a Fowl heir getting his backside baby-powdered.

"I suppose they need a bit of time to collect some nourishment and weaponry for us," the elf girl answered. "And who knows? Perhaps they are trying to find out what sort of gift to give an impotent god… Perhaps a golden tube to make it stand… upright?"

Artemis whirled around to face her. As he saw that her eyes were twinkling mischievously and she could barely hold back her laughter, he knitted his eyebrows. "Very funny, Commander."

"Yeah, I know," she chuckled, no longer being able to contain her mirth.

"Who told you?"

"I just heard it… somewhere… News like this spreads quickly. Everyone in the village knows already…"

He willed his features to return to their original, indifferent state. "It doesn't matter. We are leaving in a few minutes, and no one outside the villagers will remember it." With that he turned away from her again, pretending to be interested in a few children playing pocatoc.

But Holly didn't want to end the discussion yet. "And do tell, how did you get that… war injury? What war was that again? Middle Earth? Oh." She heaved a dramatic sigh. "Don't tell me Sauron cut it off!"

Ah, so that was how she knew he had read the Lord of the Rings!

"Now, honestly, it was lucky that we managed to collect your seed before the horrible accident happened…" she carried on.

"Yeah, especially because even if the accident hadn't happened, I would have long become sterile thanks to my laptop. Quite a bit of radiation, you know," Artemis said, deciding to play along. Sometimes he found it was even fun to tease and be teased back. But only with Holly Short.

She gave him an appraising stare. "I've heard about laptops and radiation… but I don't think it made you sterile."

"Yeah, and why not? For all you know, it could have."

"Juliet told me about that newspaper ad. The one in which you were seeking a wife. Had you been unable to father children, you wouldn't have drafted such an advertisement. After all, had you found the right woman and married her, it would have been highly embarrassing for you to be unable to get her pregnant… and the great Artemis Fowl wouldn't expose himself to becoming a laughing-stock."

"And what makes you think I _meant_ that advertisement? I could as well have just staged it, pretending to be trying to please my parents but I didn't intend to get married at all…"

She made a grimace. "I doubt you staged it."

"And why not? I'm a dishonest scoundrel, remember?"

"But perhaps you wouldn't lie to your parents," she said quietly.

"I would. Anytime. Without feeling pangs of remorse," he replied dryly, diverting his stare, to make sure she wouldn't get a chance to 'read' his eyes. Truth be told he hadn't deceived his parents for quite a while. Right after the mind wipe he had decided to continue his crimes behind his father's back, but as the time passed and he spent more and more time with his parents, he realised that he no longer could lie to them. Or even if he could, he didn't feel like it. He kept deceiving the world, but not Angeline and Artemis the First. Why? He couldn't have put a finger on it.

Finally a small group of Aztecs arrived, led by Obsidian Snake. The chief's two children walked right behind their father.

"We have brought everything you might need, mighty gods," Obsidian Snake spoke up reverently and motioned to his children to step forward.

Fragrant Flower bowed and put a package full of tortillas and two flasks of spring water in front of Artemis and Holly, then retreated. Her brother came forward and placed two beautifully carved bows with two quivers full of arrows and a tiny, corked earthenware bottle before the 'deities' legs.

"Nourishment for the journey, and weapons you can protect yourselves with," the Chief explained. "That small bottle contains poison we got from the skin of poison dart frogs. Very dangerous poison that kills before you can count to three, so use it carefully. And may all the other gods help you with your noble mission."

"See, no golden tube," Artemis whispered to Holly who couldn't suppress a grin; then he stood up and addressed the villagers. "Goddess Holly and I would like to thank you for your hospitality and the gifts, and even more for the invaluable information on Second Tenochtitlan. May Quetzalcoatl protect your steps every day of your life."

With that he bent to pick up the huge bag once carried by Juliet, but before he could, Fragrant Flower swung herself on his neck and kissed him thoroughly. He decided it was quite pleasant, especially for a first kiss. Though he would never admit to anyone that he had never been kissed before…

When they parted, Artemis glanced down at Holly who gave him a defiant look. "Come on, Mud Boy. We've got to go."

He heaved the bag onto his back, grabbed the bows and arrows, while Holly stuffed the food and water into her own rucksack.

With a final nod at the natives (including a slightly teary Aztec princess), the Irishman and the elf headed for the bush hiding the entrance of the cave that would lead them back into the jungle. Neither of them suspected that in a few weeks two more statues would be standing next to that of Coatlicue, Chalchihuitlcue and Huitzilopochtli - a statue of a tiny female labelled 'Holly, Vegetarian Goddess of Bravery and Rescue', and the monument of a slim and tall man labelled 'Artemis, Vegetarian and Impotent God of Knowledge, Warrior of Middle Earth'. When several centuries later ethnographers and archaeologists found the village, these two statues gave them quite a bit of trouble to interpret.

* * *

"Hey, Smelly, would you lend me some of your sunscreen?" Juliet asked Mulch. 

"Why? You don't seem to have any problems with sunrays," the dwarf replied.

"It's because of the cave I slept in," the Butler girl explained. "If it is still inhabited by some predator, then it must have sensed my smell upon returning from its night time hunt, and who knows? It might be looking for me right now. However, if I apply some of your sunscreen, I will stink so horribly that it will deceive all jaguars."

"I doubt it will be enough to overcome your natural stench, but here it is…" Mulch grinned, handing her the flask of sunscreen.

"Thanks, Smelly."

"You're welcome, Stinker."

Opal made a grimace. Not only had she not managed to remove Foaly's d'Arvitting contact lens yet, she even had to face the cruel fact that they were in danger of getting attacked by an enormous beast. Despite Juliet and her alleged ability to deal with predators, the pixie couldn't help but fear for her life.

* * *

After about two hours of walking Holly spotted something. "Look! What's that?" She pointed at a greyish mass between the trees, overgrown with vines. 

"Looks like some kind of aircraft to me," the young genius replied. "And it seems to have crashed a long time ago, say, thirty years," he added when they got nearer. "It's all rusty and…"

Holly understood why his voice had trailed off. From where they stood they could easily make out the skeleton of a man sitting in the cockpit.

"Maybe it crashed only a few years ago, not thirty or forty," she said. "The humid jungle air makes things corrode quickly. Not to mention that it helps flesh rot at top speed."

Artemis wrinkled his elegant nose. "Thanks for the lovely imagery. Well, at least I think we've solved a mystery."

"What mystery?" she asked, turning away from the plane. It wasn't a pretty sight to behold, nor was its 'pilot'.

"Remember what Professor Fox told me about a curse that keeps the airspace above the pyramid clean?"

"You mean that this curse… or radiation, or whatever made the plan crash?"

"Obviously. If our gadgets don't work here, neither do the aircrafts."

She bit into her lower lip. "If this mystical power affects the insides of the pyramid too, not just the area around and above it, then we won't be able to use our weapons. My Neutrino will be useless!"

Artemis frowned. "Can you shoot with arrows?"

"What?" She blinked.

"If we can't use the fairy blasters, then the Aztec bows are our only weapons."

"Wonderful." She shook her head. "And no, I can't shoot with arrows. Not to mention that both of those bows are almost as big as I am. There's no way I could bend them."

"Then we just keep hoping that we will not have to resort to violence," he said calmly.

* * *

The further they got into the jungle, the more crashed planes they saw (they had already counted three), and the sleepier Artemis felt. Not even the mosquitoes' constant attack was enough to keep him awake, so he had to keep pinching himself and slapping his face. To Holly it must have seemed that he was merely trying to kill the nasty little bloodsuckers, but to Artemis the face slapping was vital to stay awake. What he would have given for a strong coffee now! 

"Your eyelids are drooping," the fairy remarked after a while. "Got stung by a tsetse fly or what?"

"Just for your information, tsetse flies live in Africa," he replied unpleasantly.

"But you're not even trying to deny that you're sleepy," she perceived.

He shook his head. "I had a rough night, Commander." She'd already opened her mouth to comment but he quickly carried on: "And _not_ because of the princess, if that's what you wanted to ask. Nothing happened between her and me as I have already mentioned."

"You mean nothing besides that kiss?" She raised an eyebrow at him.

"Yeah." He yawned. "But I still couldn't fall asleep. Er… stomach problems. I think I had too many tortillas last night."

She made a doubtful expression but decided not to voice her opinion that he wasn't telling the truth. He would just come up with another witty lie… "All right, Fowl. You have two hours."

"Two hours for what?"

She dropped her bag on the ground. "We're pitching camp here for two hours. Get some sleep. And pray that no one finds us. Our camp shield doesn't work anymore."

For once Artemis did not argue. He badly needed some rest, especially because he knew he would need all his strength the next day.

Not even caring to pull the sleeping bag out of his rucksack, he lay down on the grass and drifted off to sleep.

He woke up some time later and felt utterly lost. He just wasn't the type to have a siesta after lunch and now he felt he'd completely lost track of time. How long had he been asleep?

"Holly?" he called, blinking. He was still too dazed to call her Commander.

However, the fairy did not reply.

Artemis sat up, trying to smooth the wrinkles on his Armani suit - to no avail. It was already in as bad a shape as his St. Bartleby uniform had been after the Arctic incident. And he suspected that soon it would be in even worse condition.

He looked around, yawning. He must have been really sleepy when they pitched camp here, because he hadn't even noticed that their camp was near a nice little lake. And in the lake…

Artemis rubbed his eyes. He must be still asleep, dreaming.

But even after rubbing his eyes, she was there. Bathing.

Part of the lake was shadowed by the surrounding trees' foliage, so she didn't need to fear losing her powers due to the sunrays.

The water was shallow; it only covered her to the waist. She sprinkled water into her face with apparent delight, letting it course down her neck and breasts.

"Awww…" Artemis groaned, barely audible. She was beautiful. The way she ran her hands down the sides of her neck…

He licked his lips, for his mouth had suddenly turned as dry as parchment.

_Look away! He ordered himself. That's just Holly! Little, tomboyish punch-machine, remember? Not to mention she's over ninety! She's oooold! But she looks so young and desirable… Heck, have I just thought **desirable**? The only thing that a Fowl can regard as desirable is gold! But she's… she's so…_

He forced his eyes shut, trying to quell his urges. _Goblins. Fairy excrement. Dwarf gas. Butler getting covered with Mulch's recyclings… _

It did not help. The already tattered Armani trousers threatened to tear at a certain point. Artemis half-wished he had indeed got injured in that imaginary battle of Middle Earth… then he wouldn't have such problems now.

He kept his eyes shut, but even through closed eyelids he saw her. Finally he gave up the fight and opened his eyes.

A few metres behind Holly, sunshine glittered on the lake's surface, and to an observer who stood in the shadows it seemed as though hundreds of little sparks had engulfed her body. Artemis knew well that she wasn't in direct connection with the sunrays, but he let his eyes be deceived by the optical illusion and lost himself in this unearthly beauty.

Since when had he considered anything or anyone an unearthly beauty? - he wondered. True, that he had regarded Holly 'black widow pretty' already at the age of thirteen, but this was as different from that as night from day. The fairy in the lake was not a black-widowish, dangerous beauty - she seemed angelic, innocent and radiant… unaware of hungry male eyes. Had Artemis not been so taken with the sight, he would have felt ashamed.

The angelic creature suddenly began to emerge from the water.

"Holy heavens," Artemis breathed both with horror that she might notice him and with awe at her perfect figure. There was still a slight chance that she hadn't spotted him, so he did the only sensible (but quite painful) thing possible: he dropped himself onto his stomach and pretended to be asleep.

He was in luck: Holly hadn't noticed his voyeurism. She walked to the shore, dried herself with a tiny towel and dressed up, then returned to the campsite.

Artemis hid his face under his right arm to make sure she wouldn't see his suffering expression. Because he was suffering. His pants were on the brink of bursting and all he wished for was to drop them… but Holly mustn't notice his discomfort. What would she think if she did? That he was a perverted, paedophilic Mud Weasel? Of course, in their 'relationship' (if it ever turned into a relationship) it was her who could be called paedophilic, since she was seventy years older than him; but Artemis couldn't help thinking of her size - the size of a child. And if he felt desire for a tiny girl like Holly, then it was a sin. Wasn't it?

He heard the undergrowth rustle as she sat down onto the grass, and he wondered whether she was looking at him or not, but he didn't dare open his eyes or lift his arm from before his face.

Minutes passed, and the horrible stretching feeling in Artemis's pants slowly ceased, to his great relief. When he felt he could face Holly without getting embarrassed, he turned around, reaching out to wipe his forehead. His whole body was wet with sweat and his fine cotton shirt was plastered to his chest and back. But it was over, thank heaven. He hoped Holly wasn't planning to do any strip-shows in the near future, because he didn't intend to get into such a difficult situation again. Two naked women in less than twenty-four hours… that was a bit too much.

He sat up, stretched and even faked a yawn to fool the fairy into believing that he had had a nice nap and had just woken up. His show had been for nothing, though, as Holly's back was turned on him. She was sitting with her legs crossed, her head bent, and her eyes fixed on the ground in front of her.

Even from behind, she looked sad. Had Artemis had a bigger emotional range, then he wouldn't have wondered how she could be sad after such a refreshing bath in a beautiful, clear lake. But Artemis's emotional range was barely bigger than that of a teaspoon.

"What's wrong, Commander?" he asked.

"Just the usual," she whispered.

"Just the usual?" he echoed her words.

"I'm worried about my son, okay?" she said irritably. Truth was that her bath in the lake had triggered memories of her playing with her little Patrick in the bathtub. They had been blowing colourful soap bubbles at each other, and the little boy had been giggling so loudly… his laughter still rang in her ears. She suddenly turned around with an accusing expression. "I'm worried about him, Fowl. But you don't seem to worry much!"

"Why should I?" Artemis said flatly. Something deep inside him wanted to console her again, but he feared that any bodily contact or mushy talk would easily recall his previous 'problem'. So he decided to act indifferently. It was the safest and most Fowl-like behaviour that he could fall back on as needed. "Patrick is my son, as you said, so he has enough brains to get himself out of trouble. And if not, then c'est la vie."

That was harsh. And he knew it. But it would surely keep Holly from seeking comfort in his arms.

Holly's eyes gleamed with fury. "How can you talk so cruelly?"

"This is no cruelty, merely rationalism. The boy should use his brains, like all the Fowls before him."

"He's a _Short_!"

"From what I've seen and heard of him - he's more like a Fowl."

"You don't even know him!" the elf snapped.

"See? And you think I should be worried about him! About someone I don't even know! Don't you think you're a bit of a controversial figure, dear Commander?"

"I'm not dear to you, Fowl! Just Commander!" Holly countered.

"All right, Just Commander. Would you give me one of the tortillas, Just Commander?"

Scowling, Holly pulled a tortilla out of her bag and threw it at Artemis.

"Thanks, Just Commander."

"Stop it, will you?" she grunted.

"You're no fun." He pouted. "I like calling you Just Commander. Once I saw a movie in which a bloke called a woman Just Joan all the time. I think the title was Jewel of the Nile. An adventurous movie about treasure hunters… just like us."

"_I_ am no treasure hunter! I only want my son back!" she shouted at him; then suddenly went rigid, as though it had just dawned on her. "Aha! I see it now! You are in it for the treasure!"

"Let's put it this way: I'd like to kill two birds with one stone. Or as you fairies say: two stink worms with one skewer."

"I'm sick of you, Fowl!" she spat. "I should've known that you did everything for the money! That's why you were so nice to me, consoling me, right? You disgusting, double-crossing hypocrite!"

"Me, a hypocrite? And what about you, huh? After all, I did not want this whole business! You dragged me into it! You mistook me for a bloody sperm-bank! You-"

She never found out what else he wanted to say, because at that instant a huge, spotted animal jumped out of the shrubbery. A jaguar.

Holly, thanks to her presence of mind and her quick reflexes, managed to hop out of the beast's way, but she tripped over a root that jutted out of the grass, and fell.

Taking no notice of Artemis, the animal whirled around and began advancing on the sprawled fairy. She quickly drew her Neutrino out of its holster and fired - but nothing happened. It didn't work, thanks to either the mysterious field that made any technology useless or the short submerging into the water when Artemis had graciously let Holly fall.

The jaguar lunged, and the elf didn't even have time to utter a d'Arvit. She rolled to her side, this way she didn't get ripped apart, but three of the animal's deadly claws left parallel wounds on her side. She cried out in pain, but struggled to her knees and pulled a knife out of her left boot. Fairies had always regarded knives as stone-age weapons, but she knew she didn't have anything else with which to fight.

Sensing the smell of blood in the air, the beast lurched forward. Even with her knife firm in hand, Holly didn't stand a chance.

The jaguar's claws were mere inches from her when the beast suddenly halted and turned around with an almighty roar.

Trembling from head to toe, Holly realised what had happened. There was a stone in the grass by the beast's hind legs. Artemis had to have thrown it to divert the animal's attention from Holly.

The beast was now advancing on the young man, gnashing its teeth. Holly saw the fear in Artemis's deep blue eyes. His face had turned ashen, and there was an expression on his face that suggested he knew it was the end for him.

She couldn't let that happen. She couldn't let him sacrifice himself to save her. And besides, what if the jaguar killed him; then killed her too?

"Hey, over here!" she shouted, grabbing the stone Artemis had thrown and chucking it at the animal's head. The jaguar immediately turned around, its bloodshot eyes fixed upon the tiny elf. "I'm here you big furry oaf!" she shouted, grabbing her knife so tightly that her knuckles turned white.

Artemis shook his head, but no voice came out of his mouth. He seemed to have lost his ability to speak. Desperately he looked around, trying to find something else to throw at the jaguar, and his glance fell upon the bows. Their only chance.

Slowly, careful not to make any noise, he crouched down and opened the tiny bottle full of the poison of the poison dart frogs. It couldn't be enough to injure the jaguar with an arrow, because injured animals sometimes attacked much more fiercely than their healthy counterparts. The beast had to be killed quickly.

The jaguar seemed to take no heed of the Irishman behind its back; now it rather focused its attention on the fairy. Perhaps she looked easier to defeat, as she was considerably smaller than Artemis…

A drop of blood fell on the grass from Holly's wound. As though this had been what the jaguar had been waiting for, it lunged forward, sweeping the girl off her feet, practically burying her under its belly. The mighty weight crushed her, breaking several of her ribs and barely leaving her space to breathe, yet Holly focused all her strength not to pass out, and pushed the knife to its hilt into the animal's body between its front legs. The jaguar roared and brought its claws down on her face.

Artemis didn't dare watch what the beast was doing to Holly - he dipped an arrow into the poison with trembling hands and inserted it into the bow, then stood up. Only then did he dare lift his eyes upon the fighters, and he almost fainted. He could never stand the sight of spilt blood. Even when Holly and Root had taken some blood from his arm to put it into the Fizzer in Russia, he had turned his head away, not to see the process.

But he couldn't be weak now. Any weakness would result in Holly's death.

_Be a man, Fowl_, he ordered himself and with great effort he bent the bow. He willed his arms to stop shaking, knowing that with a trembling hand he might as easily hit Holly. He had never in his life used a bow, after all. The only time he had held one in his hands had been at a costume party in the primary school when his mother had insisted on him going as Goddess Artemis. He had looked utterly ridiculous with a crescent moon diadem, stuffed bra, skirt, and a bow in the hand. Everyone had laughed at him and the memory haunted him in his dreams for several years.

Under the jaguar's belly, Holly still seemed to be struggling to free herself, although every visible part of her was bathed in blood.

_Stop squirming or I'll accidentally shoot you_, Artemis thought bitterly. Not even Holly's self-healing powers could fight against such a deadly poison, especially not when every drop of her magic was needed to heal those horrible bruises.

A painful groaned issued from the fairy's throat and her so far flailing left hand fell onto the ground. She must have lost consciousness. The jaguar bent over her, opening its huge mouth, spit spilling onto her blood-smeared face.

Artemis gulped and fought not to throw up. He had never been religious, but for the first time in his life he mumbled a silent 'God, help me', and shot the arrow.

* * *

**A/N**: and now you absolutely hate me, don't you? ;) Don't hold back, tell me how much you hate me - in other words: review :D 


	15. Heal the body, heal the soul

**Author's note:** I must admit that my fav scene of this whole fic is the A/H one at the beginning of this chapter. My mum said it almost brougth tears to her eyes ;)

**IMPORTANT, PLEASE READ**:  
I'm truly sorry about having to say this, but very likely there will be no more updates in December, since I'm having exams from the 20th December to the end of January. Updates will be less frequent for a while. Hope you understand. I will TRY to update once more in December, but if I can't, then look out for chapter 16 at the beginning of January. And, like always, please, say 'May the Force be with you, Agi!':)

Since I'm not likely to update till Christmas, let me wish you Happy Holidays with the little **Artemis-Xmas postcard** whose link I put into my ffnet bio. Check it out :)

_septempopuli_: funny that I was thinking of Dudley saying 'shan't' when I wrote that Patrick's first word was 'computer' :D

_LittleGreenPerson_: nope, you won't seen Fleur again.

_DreamingFantasy:_ I think Artemis has way more brains than Draco ever did. I ship Colin/Mary! They'd make such a cuuuute couple!

_Obsessive Perfectionist_: as you read, I have a beta already, but should she back out for some reason, I'll remember your offer. Thanks.

_BeatlesLover_: I prefer Harry Potter over LotR too. Actually I dislike LotR. Quasimodo hasn't yet realised that he might destroy the human race as well if he kills Patrick.

_Llama Child:_ answer to your question: in this chapter. I'd update quicker, if I didn't have to format my chapters every time, and that takes a lot of time. I'm sorry if you don't like the word 'yeah', I like it.

_wackedoutpet133_: I'm sorry if you think the fic is slow, I'm trying to write a budding romance here, and between as difficult personalities as Artemis and Holly, it needs to be a slow change, otherwise it wouldn't seem real at all and it'd feel rushed.

_neutralgal:_ no, I'm not going to draw pics for every chapter of this fic, because I don't have the time for it. However, I promise you an illo for the final chapter (actually that art is ready already ;)

_Rhauth_: yes, Arty/Holly WILL kiss in the fic. And the first ever kiss Arty got (on the lips) was the one given to him by Fleur. Reason: he hadn't been interested in women before.

_Indigo Ziona_: your comment 'AgiVega Style Cliffhanger (TM)' made me laugh, it was cute :) Yes, I've read the Little princess, although quite a while ago, and I don't really remember it. However, I've seen two movie versions of it: one with Shirley Temple, the other was directed by Alfonso Cuaron (and I liked it way better than the PoA movie...) Have you read Little Lord Fauntleroy - another Burnett book? These are the three books I've read from her and liked all of them.

_VampirePeaches:_ about owls in rainforests: I wasn't sure about it either, so before I wrote it into the fic, I looked into a book that shows the living areas of birds and there WERE owls in Mexico, even in the rainforest. What are Alsations? -looks utterly confused-

_Holly Rox_: 21 chapters. So only seven left...

_Mistri, Tonks' Admirer_: I wrote an **anti-D/G** fic, remember? If the Fates allow was 'campaigning' **against** D/G.

_Marfbag_: I can only tell you the same as to wackedoutpet133. You might find this chapter slow too, but I promise that chapters 16-17 WON'T be slow :)

_angelamisaki_: overall I like the Harry Potter books better than the Artemis ones, but if I had to choose between the main characters, I'd have serious problems. I like Harry and Arty the same, only differently (LOL, that's a bit controversial, huh?). I used to **love** the Harry in the first four books, but I disliked the despressed-and-always-shouting Harry in the fifth book. Arty is much cooler than the 'Order of the Phoenix' Harry. Dunno if Holly's wearing a bra... but if yes, then Arty will surely see it ;)

_BluAyu_: I haven't read the Mists of Avalon, but seen a movie version of it. One of the earlier ER characters played Morgana in it.

_Yasmin_: I haven't read the sequel to the Secret garden, I only half-saw a film version of it (my mum was watching it and I didn't really pay attention). Is the book about Mary being an adult, married to Colin, and a little girl finding the garden again? The film was about something like that, as far as I could tell from what I half-saw/half-heard. Mary/Dickon would be cute, but I can only imagine them as lovers for a while, then Mary marrying Colin. The fic I was talking about is 'You never really forget', written by 'Ovensfriends'. It isn't finished, though...

_Epsilon2Delta_: Daniel/Myrtle being one of my best scenes? LOL, NO ONE has told me that before :))

_mangafreak2273:_ I must admit that even though I live in Hungary, I've never been to Győr and had no idea that a place like 'Győrbarát' existed... Shame on me.

_Shima Ame_: well, it **would be** funny if the next Artemis book had A/H having an illegitimate child ;) Fat chance, Colfer won't even write a bit of romance between the two :((

_Dorinda:_ don't worry, I won't write anything more 'descriptive' than I did in chapter 14. Actually the rest of the fic will have even less 'descriptions' than chapter 14 did. Goddess Artemis was a pic I drew BEFORE I wrote chapter 14, but when I wrote chapter 14, I decided to mention Goddess Artemis, because it was fun :)

_Keiko_: Artemis won't kiss Holly back to life, you have my word. She's no Sleeping Beauty, after all ;)

_C-chan:_ what does 'GED' stand for? Artemis didn't PLAN on diverting the jaguar's attention from Holly, it was instinctive. And pretty dumb, coming from a genius. Yes, I DID a fanart about Arty as Goddess Artemis :D This made me laugh: "Artemis hits Holly, misses jaguar. Everyone dies. The end." LOL. I didn't know Natasha was a Greek name either. I always thought it was Russian or something of the sort... I love using names with meanings, but not always can I find a proper one. Finding Amrita's name was an 'accident' - a happy accident. Lynn is pretty, but I don't really care for Melissa. I don't think I'm going to have much time to go to the cinema for a while... and currently I'm only planning on watching Alexander the great. Right after my second exam!

_Phoenix6e:_ your review made me laugh. So, you're a boy, then? ;)

_DarkFlower2113:_ I completely agree with you that Arty wouldn't agree to go as Goddess Artemis to a costume ball, but I felt like writing it into the fic, because I had drawn a pic of 'Arty as Goddess Artemis' earlier and so I wrote the matching story into this fic. It's only for the fun :)

_o.O.o.O.pudley wudlie.O.o.O.o_: Holly, in the Arctic incident is 80 years old, so she's 94 in my fic. I expect fairies make homes about two metres high. We, humans build homes at least three metres high, don't we? Even fairies need space to breath, and a higher ceiling to hang their lamps from...

_apple-pie:_ there must be some kind of a mind link between us, because whenever I think of you 'where could apple-pie be? I hope she hasn't gone missing for ever...', then you appear on ffnet and review. Believe it or not, but I thought of you a few hours before I received your reviews. Funny, eh?

Also thanks to: _tania15, Lylei, leonsalanna, kirby freak, Bard's Soul, AprilEchidna, n, Aelfwyn, Iced Artemis, Yuffie Paine Princess Arwen Evenstar 77, cocoaducks, Spooks-A-Lot, Jessica, TinkerBell394587, animezebra, holikimaela, Neutrino, Cyberspace, Trip-Jinx, utena, Lady Emerald Black, Loreleisealgirl, The OddBird, Hyperkitti, luckyducky7too, APERFECTATTITUDE, sophianwin, PeanutButterOreoCookieGirl99, eyes-of-hate, Harriettapotter_

* * *

**Chapter 15**

**Heal the body, heal the soul**

The jaguar stumbled off the fairy, writhed in pain for three seconds then collapsed onto the ground, dead.

"Holly!" Artemis shouted, dropping the bow and hurrying to the unconscious elf. She was in a terrible shape - she seemed to have no intact body-part left, and her pale green LEP uniform was soaked with blood.

For a horrible moment he thought she'd died, but then he spotted a tiny blue spark circling idly on her right cheek, making a gash vanish. He waited with bated breath. Another spark appeared, this time on her forehead. If Artemis hadn't known for sure that sparks didn't have hands and fingers, he would have sworn that this one had grabbed the two sides of a particularly wide and nasty wound and pulled them closer and closer to each other until they touched, then made the whole gash disappear.

_Come on, do it faster!_ He silently urged the fairy magic to heal the commander. Fairy magic, however, wasn't known for fulfilling humans' unspoken wishes.

A third spark filtered through her teeth, running along her badly bruised upper lip, returning her lips to their cherubic, rose-petal-like state. A sigh escaped her mouth, but she didn't wake up.

Suddenly a tremor ran down her body, and Artemis knew what was coming - the rough part of the healing.

He crawled slightly away from her, to give her space to thrash about, and watched with awe as her whole being got engulfed in sparks, giving the impression that she was wrapped in a blue cocoon. Inside the cocoon her body twirled, whirled and shook for minutes, unintelligible words issuing from her mouth.

Artemis didn't know how long it had lasted, but when asked later, he swore that he had gained those dozen grey hairs on his temples during Holly's healing.

When finally the blue cocoon disappeared and the fairy's body stopped jerking, he moved back to her side, wincing as he supported his weight on his hands - he hadn't noticed that during the healing he had dug his fingernails into his palms so hard that they had started to bleed.

He leaned over the elf, expecting her to open her eyes, but she did not.

Something was amiss...

Artemis had seen her heal on the Arctic, and she had immediately regained consciousness after it (and punched him so hard that he had fallen into a snow hill)... Then again, it had been about reattaching a finger, not sealing dozens, possibly hundreds of deep wounds caused by a ferocious predator's claws...

_Butler also needed days to come round_, he reminded himself. _But we don't have days! It's full moon in two days and we still have to get into that bloody pyramid..._

There was no other way; he had to wake Holly up.

"Holly..." He reached out to pat her cheek. She did not react. "Holly, you've got to wake up... Don't play with me, this is a very bad joke, you know..." he whispered. "Come back to me, Holly... and not _for_ me... I don't deserve you. Come back for Patrick. For the People."

He perceived that she was still considerably paler than usual, as far as he could tell from all the half-congealed blood covering her face, neck and hands. There were a few tears in her suit as well, mostly on her shoulders. Artemis thought she was lucky to have had the stupid animal cover most of her body with its weight, because this way some of her ribs might have broken, but had the jaguar gored her around the stomach region, then it could have caused way more serious problems. No fairy magic could have pushed spilt intestines back into their place...

Artemis shuddered at the thought of what could have happened to Holly. Taking deep breaths to fight down his re-awakened urge to throw up, he pulled Holly's slightly wet towel and a spare tank top out of her bag and threw them around his neck. Then he took her gently into his arms, not caring that his Armani suit and once snow white shirt got red-stained with her blood, and carried her to the lake.

This was no time for modesty - Holly would probably punch him for the umpteenth time when she found out what he did, but he just couldn't leave her all bloody and dirty.

As he carefully pealed the upper part of her suit off her, his heart clenched. She was so tiny as she lay there on the grass... so tiny and helpless... Only half an hour ago he had had felt boundless desire for this fragile body, and now all he felt was pain. This pain was trying to crush his chest and compress his gullet. What if she never woke up? What if she remained in a comatose state forever? - he thought desperately as he pushed the towel into the cool water. If she never woke up, the People would be lost. The humans would be lost too. And Artemis would be lost for sure...

He squeezed the water out of the towel and started washing her face, going lower and lower on her small frame, careful not to tear the string that held the bottle with an acorn around her neck. That acorn could be vital in their survival.

"Listen, Holly..." he muttered, just to himself, since he suspected she could not hear him, "...what I told you about Patrick... I didn't mean it. I didn't mean a word of it. I want to save him just as much as you do. I do care for him... I just don't know yet what to make of him... what to make of this whole new situation... being a father and everything. I'm sure you wouldn't understand me... I'm too complicated to understand." A small chuckle left his mouth. "Sometimes not even I understand myself. The curse of genii. We are cleverer than the rest, but our cleverness makes us lonely people... and I didn't realise how lonely I was before I knew you. You made me realise it, Holly."

After drying her with the clean side of her torn LEP suit, he gently dressed her in the tank top. For a moment it crossed his mind that it would very likely be similar to dressing a little child.

"There. You're fresh and primped. No one would assume you'd fought a bloody big beast if they saw you..." He kept talking to her, pulling her into his lap. Her left hand automatically reached out and grabbed his blood-stained shirt as she nestled her head into his chest. Was she dreaming that she was being held by her long gone father? - he wondered. She had once mentioned to him that she had been merely sixty when she'd lost her dad. Artemis couldn't decide whether he liked the role of the father-substitute... but if that was what she needed now then he would do his best to give it to her. With his free hand he began stroking her head. She seemed to like it - she was smiling in her sleep. For a moment he just stared at her (even forgot to stroke her head), realising that all the pain had vanished from his chest and now it got filled with something warm.

"Don't stop..." she muttered, her eyes still closed. "Don't stop... Artemis."

His heart received a jolt. She knew it was him caressing her and she didn't mind!

His hand automatically continued to stroke her messy auburn curls, and she kept smiling, her eyes still closed. He wondered whether she had been conscious and just too tired to open her eyes, or unconscious, and had merely _dreamed_ that he was caressing her...

"Artemis?" she whispered after a while.

"Yes?" he asked.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For trying to save me from that beast..." she muttered into his shirt.

"Then it's me who owes you a thank-you," he replied. "You silly goose, what got into you to try and divert the jaguar's attention from me?"

She opened her hazel eyes and squinted up at him, a mischievous little smile on her face. "Why, didn't you do the same?"

"I did, but... that was different."

"Why would it have been different?" She frowned. "Just because you're a male and I'm a weak female? Don't give me this male-chauvinist shit, I had enough of it as a junior officer!"

"You and weak..." He smirked. "No. You are a thousand times stronger than I will ever be."

"Then? What makes it different?"

"I don't know... I just suddenly felt I had to draw the beast's attention to myself."

"I felt the same," she said, slowly disentangling herself from his embrace.

"It was spontaneous," he carried on, feeling as though he owed her an explanation. "No idea what made me play the hero... it's so unlike me."

"Now you tell me." She grinned. "So you have no idea why you did it?"

One second Artemis felt like replying 'yes, I do', but the next second he was no longer sure. He shook his head.

"It's okay," she said with a sad smile. "Not even the witty Artemis Fowl can know everything. By the way," she looked down at herself, "did you undress me?"

His cheeks turned a light pink and he shrugged. "I couldn't leave you in your torn, bloody clothes, could I? And after all, you saw me naked before. Now we're quits."

Her arms folded before her chest, she sized him up from head to toe. "You look a mess. Stubby, bloody and dirty. You haven't got any clean clothes, have you?"

"As far as I remember, your Commandership said that the LEP couldn't provide clothes in my size. We'll test Foaly's famous washing powder when we return to Haven. This Armani will really put it through its paces. Even more so than my St. Bartleby uniform. Ah, Haven," he heaved a sigh. "A warm shower in your bathroom, a nice shave..." He pulled his fingers across his chin. "Do I really look that terrible with the stubble? Some movie stars look downright dashing that way..."

"Sorry to disappoint you Fowl, but you're no movie star." Holly smiled. "But don't worry, your stubble isn't _that_ horrible. So far you only look partly like Fred Flintstone."

"Now honestly. I just shot a jaguar for you; let you bloody my $ 2,000 suit, and now you even insult me..." He pouted at her in a very uncharacteristically childish way.

"You. Shot. The jaguar?" She raised an eyebrow at him.

"Why, how did you think I got rid of it? Magicked it away? Hardly. I used the bow we got from the Aztecs. I am, after all, Artemis the hunter." He drew himself up proudly. "By the way, speaking of magic, couldn't you have shielded to disappear from the beast, or _mesmerised_ it not to attack us?"

"Hmm..." She seemed contemplative for a moment. "Perhaps I could've shielded... but it still would have been a risk in such thick undergrowth... and to tell you the truth, it did not occur to me."

Artemis made a surprised face. It was not like Holly Short to admit to him that she had not thought of something important... Could it mean she began trusting him? _Really_ trusting him?

"As for the _mesmer_," she carried on, happy that he did not give her any snide remarks, "it only works on sentient beings and a very few animals. As far as I know, storks, howler monkeys and toads are the only mesmerisable animals. Did you know that the Mud Men's story about storks bringing babies came from the _mesmer_?"

"No. How?"

"Once, thousands of years ago a crazy gnome decided to play a trick on a Mud Family and mesmerised a stork to pick the family's newborn baby out of its cradle and fly around the house with it. The neighbours, who hadn't yet seen the newborn, thought that the stork brought the family their baby. And that ridiculous thing with princesses kissing toads is also a result of the _mesmer_. Some old elf woman once mesmerised a toad into believing that it could speak human languages and the toad talked a very blonde princess into kissing him... but lo and behold, the toad didn't turn into a prince!"

"Sometimes I feel ashamed about my species' stupidity," Artemis sighed. "So, are we heading out? The pyramid is still far away and we lost about three hours."

"Yeah, I know. I will also have to complete the ritual in the evening." Holly's fingers wound around the tiny bottle in her neck. "I barely have any magic left in me. And we will have to take turns to sleep and keep a lookout for other beasts or Quench's gang."

They walked back to their camp where the dead jaguar lay sprawled on the grass, a poisoned arrow sticking out of its back.

"Good shot, God Artemis," she remarked in a voice that suggested she still barely could believe he had shot down the jaguar. "Too bad we can't contact Root and tell him how you lived up to your name..."

He made a grimace. "Too bad I can't tell my parents about this without mentioning the fairy People. Bet they would be glad to know that they picked a suitable name for me, after all..."

"Really," she said, heaving her rucksack onto her back, "if you ever had a child by a Mud Woman, what would you name it?"

"Artemis, obviously," he replied with a sly smile. "Artemis Fowl the Third."

"And if it was a girl?"

"Artemis again. Unisex name." He winked at her and picked up his own bag in a surprisingly good mood. A series of unknown dangers awaited them in the pyramid, every remaining moment of their lives could be considered a gift, and if their skills and his plan failed, horrific ends awaited both the fairies and the 'Mud People'. However, for the time being none of these could have spoilt Artemis's good mood. He had saved Holly and Holly had risked her life trying to save him... it was a clear sign of her feelings towards him, wasn't it? - he smiled to himself. Then again, when he had risked his own life to save her... _what had that been?_ Half of him thought he knew the answer, but the other half fought with all his willpower to deny it. Either way, just thinking of their mutual rescue attempt filled his stomach with a pleasant, fluttery feeling. He had never felt it before... it was warm, reassuring and cheering. It lulled him into the belief that nothing could go wrong. Nothing, as long as he and Holly were fighting side by side.

* * *

"Bad news," Root said, sitting on his sleeping bag.

"More bad news?" One Miss Koboi grunted. "We can't activate the camp shield and have to expose ourselves to getting eaten by a predator overnight, and you're saying you've got bad news? Can it get any worse?"

"Obviously it can," the one-time commander replied, surprisingly calmly for his usual temperament. "Once some witty Mud Person called Murphy said something like 'if anything can go wrong, it will'. Now not only are we unable to contact Holly and Fowl, but my wrist-phone seems to be completely out-of-order too. Something's seriously amiss here. Yesterday at least our gadgets worked, but now none of them do."

Opal's eyes flashed. If _none_ of the fairy technology worked here, then neither did the contact lens Foaly had forced her to wear. All she needed was to create a bit of distraction for the others, and she could easily get rid of the 'pony's invention. "Too bad we can't contact the Mud Boy," she replied in a slightly derisive tone. "Do you realise that this way we might not be able to complete plan A? If we aren't acting in a harmonised way with Team A..." Her voice trailed off and she gave her companions a nasty smile. "Let's give up, people. Perhaps the curse of that idol won't even reach us if we're not underground along with the other fairies... perhaps Quasimodo will direct the idol's power at everyone underground... If we turn back now or just stop here, we'll have a chance to survive..."

"If you don't shut up this instant, _I_ will make sure _you_ don't have a chance to survive," Juliet grunted at the pixie.

"Yeah, and that would be a pity," Mulch spoke up, munching on a handful of worms. "Such a pretty face, such a wonderful body it would be a great loss for the world... and for you too, sweetheart."

"I'm no sweetheart to you," Opal hissed at him.

"Just to remind you," Root interjected, "if our gadgets don't work inside the pyramid, then neither do Holly and Fowl's, and then they will surely automatically move to plan B. If necessary, we shall do the same. And no more disruptive talk from you, Koboi, or you won't get those one hundred and seventy-five years off your sentence."

"It's not up to you to decide," the pixie reminded him. "You're no longer commander, Root. It's Short now, and she has the authority and the right to make decisions."

Root muttered something like 'mmmhhh' that might have been a short version for 'd'Arvit, there's a spider climbing up my leg', but it might as well have meant 'you're right, you accursed pixie'. Neither Opal, nor Mulch, nor Juliet knew what the 'mmmhhh' meant, and they didn't even care.

One thing was sure: Julius had long ago regretted retiring. At first it had seemed a good idea, he had felt he deserved the rest after hundreds of years of serving Haven's people and securing their safety; but the more time he spent as a pensioner, the more convinced he got that he had made the wrong decision. Certainly Holly was a wonderful commander - brave, apt and quick thinking, but perhaps a bit too young and rash...

Every time Holly went on a dangerous mission, Julius sat at home, envying her. He envied her even when she returned with half-healed injuries and on the verge of passing out of fatigue. Julius envied every LEP fairy, even the lowliest, the most-ignored and most-oppressed privates... they were at least _doing_ something. They were defending their homeland.

There were several occasions when the one-time commander felt useless. The only 'light' in his full of boredom life were those few days a week when he visited Holly and Patrick - the closest thing he had to a family.

Holly, who was the person who probably knew him the best, sometimes asked him what was wrong - she, only she, had seen the sadness in his eyes, no one else noticed it. And every time she asked him about it, he had replied 'nothing'. Perhaps it was time to be sincere with her. To tell her how much he missed Foaly's impudent remarks and constant calling him Julius; how much he missed arguing with the centaur, shouting at various officers and, of course, shouldering responsibility...

Now, for the first time in six years he felt in his element again. He was on a dangerous - perhaps even lethal - mission, he had the chance to snap at Diggums and Koboi (that felt almost as good as shouting at Holly or Foaly), and he felt useful again. There was no way he would let anyone sabotage the mission and rid him of the opportunity to be 'Commander Root' for a change. But he wouldn't tell his companions how good it felt to be risking his life again. Perhaps Juliet would understand, but the dwarf and the pixie would only laugh at him...

He wondered what Holly would say if he told her about his feelings. Would she fear losing her job? Would she consider him as competition? Root hoped she would not. He did not want to take her job, as it had been he who had named her his successor. Well, he thought, he might just mention this to Holly if they met again. _If_ they met again and _if_ they had a chance to talk. It all depended on the outcome of this mission. But if it came to that, then he would earnestly tell her how much he missed being active, and he would also ask her about this whole 'Fowl business'. There was no way the Butler girl could be right about that... there was no way an elf would fall for a Mud Man... or was there?

Perhaps he would have pondered this for a while, had there not then been an almighty thunder clap.

"I suppose we're getting a downpour," Juliet spoke up.

"Brilliant deduction," Opal said sarcastically. "How strange - rain in a rainforest... We have a waterproof tent, don't we?"

"Yup. It has to be here somewhere," replied Mulch in a slightly shaky voice and bent over his rucksack to find it. Before he could pull the aforementioned tent out of his bag, he suddenly staggered backwards, pressing his hands on his forehead.

"What's wrong, Smelly?" Juliet asked.

"Just... just a bit of dizziness. Nothing. It's over," the dwarf replied. His face, however, was as white as a sheet.

"I bet he just got an upset stomach," Opal voiced her opinion. "No surprise there, he keeps eating horrible stuff like worms... You have no idea what sort of diseases you can get from those. Completely unhygienic, not to mention disgusting."

"No one asked for your opinion," grunted Mulch, who seemingly needed a great effort to stand upright and keep his face straight.

The pixie shrugged, snatching the thoroughly folded tent out of his hands. "Root, Mud Girl, shall we set this up or do you want to get soaked to the skin?"

Juliet, giving the dwarf a worried glance, bent down to help Koboi.

* * *

"Looks like it's going to rain," Holly remarked upon returning to Artemis. They had long left the dead jaguar behind and after hours of walking they had stopped for a short while to give Holly time to complete the ritual. Now she was full to the brim with magic again.

"Yeah, it looks like it," said Artemis. "It's getting dark. Do you reckon we should pitch camp here? Hopefully, no beast will lunge upon us in a heavy rain..."

She nodded. "I hope so. I don't have any more acorns left so we'd better keep ourselves as healthy as possible."

"Healthy, huh?" The young man's lips tucked into a sarcastic smirk. "I doubt we will get through all the eight trials healthy and intact..."

"Don't talk of the devil, or he will appear," Holly berated him gently. It was new for Artemis to be told off in a way that didn't make him want to come up with a nasty retort.

"The tent is waterproof, isn't it?" he asked.

"It is," the fairy replied, pulling the tent out of her rucksack and examining it. "Quite small, though. Juliet must have accidentally packed the bigger tent for Team B. She should have paid better attention when packing... After all she was aware that Team B consisted of three small fairies, while our team originally consisted of one fairy and two lanky Mud People... I seriously can't imagine how we will fit into this..."

"We might try to cuddle..." Artemis answered.

The commander gave him a half-smile. The Holly of one day earlier would have snapped at him for such a remark, but today's Holly could only smile. "Yeah. We might try that."

* * *

The rain was monotonously rapping on the waterproof material of the tent, lulling Juliet into a half-slumber. She needed all her strength to keep her eyes open, but her drooping eyelids seemed to have a mind of their own. After a while she gave up the fight and closed her eyes, but her ears kept listening to every little noise, in case there was danger. However, all she could hear were the raindrops and the chattering of Mulch's teeth.

"Now, honestly! Stop that will you?" Opal snapped at the dwarf after a while. "I'm trying to get some sleep!"

Mulch gave her a very nasty look. "Do you think... I'm doing it... out of fun? Because then... you're not a bit wittier... than a stink worm!"

The pixie's eyes flared. There was one thing she absolutely did not tolerate: the mere assumption that she was not clever.

Opal Koboi - not clever? That's unheard of! Such insults called for revenge!

Before Mulch could duck out of the way, the pixie slapped him hard across the face.

Juliet opened her eyes; sorry that she'd missed a well-aimed punch.

There was a sharp intake of breath - but it did not come from the dwarf. It came from Opal. "You're hot!" she breathed.

"I know," the dwarf winked at her.

She rolled her eyes. "I meant you're burning up, Diggums. Your face is as hot as a cell full of fire-breathing goblins!"

"Does that mean... you too were once put in one cell... with fire-breathing goblins?" Mulch asked, his lips curling into a smile.

"No, I was not," Opal replied coldly. "But I heard what it was like."

"Well, I have first-hand... experience on it. Once three stupid goblins... tried to fry me. Luckily... the Artemis Fowl incident came... and Julius needed me..."

"That's Mr Root to you, convict," the one-time commander grunted at the dwarf. "And what's up with this whole fever thing? I hope it's not serious."

"If my shaking chills... headache... muscle aches and nausea are not serious... then it's not serious," Mulch muttered.

"What could be his problem?" Juliet mused.

"I hope it's just something he ate, and not..." Miss Koboi began, when the dwarf suddenly jumped up and hurried out of the tent, into the rain.

"What the-?" Root said, following Mulch with his eyes. "I hope he's not just acting and trying to escape..."

"I doubt that. Look." Juliet pointed at the doubled-over figure of Mulch. He was most clearly throwing up.

After he'd given all the half-digested worms back to Mother Nature, the dwarf staggered back to the tent, soaking wet. "S'ry. My breath might stink a bit now," he wheezed.

"Not any worse than it usually does," replied Juliet in a chattering tone. She'd learned in Madam Ko's academy that talking cheerfully to the sick principal usually helps, because it takes the principal's mind off his ailment. And if it worked on principals, then it perhaps worked on fairies too.

"Thanks, Stinker," Mulch grinned at the Butler girl. That was the last thing he did before he passed out, falling right into Juliet's arms.

Juliet lay the dwarf down on the tent's floor and Opal bent over him with a disgusted expression.

"Do you happen to have a match or something? Anything that is... _prehistoric_ enough to work without electricity or batteries?" she asked her companions.

"I think I have a cigarette lighter here somewhere," Juliet replied. She always carried a lighter with herself in case she needed to make fire or ignite the fuse of a dynamite rod. "Here." She handed it to Opal.

With the lighter (that bore the script 'Limerick Wrestling Club') in her right hand, the pixie carefully lifted one of Mulch's eyelids. "He seems to have jaundice too. This is not good..."

"Why? What's up with him?" Root asked in a worried voice. Even if he'd never admit it to anyone, Diggums had always been his favourite convict.

"It looks pretty much like malaria to me," Opal told him over her shoulder. "Though it seems a bit too quick... I read that for most people, symptoms begin 10 days to 4 weeks after infection... but that book was about Mud Men, not fairies. It's possible that the infection affects us differently than humans."

"And what... what exactly does this malaria do?" wondered Root.

"Nothing good as far as I know," said Juliet sullenly. "It can result in coma and even death..."

"What if Diggums has already entered coma?" Root pointed at the unconscious dwarf.

"Two stink worms... juicy, please... with lots of ketchup..." muttered Mulch.

"I doubt he has," said the pixie. "He's raving in his sleep, so he cannot be in a coma."

"By the way," said the one-time commander, "how does one get this mal... malady?"

"Mosquito bites," replied Opal.

"Mosquito bites?" Juliet paled. "Heavens. Arty got hundreds of those! What if he also has malaria?"

* * *

"So, how far away is it?" demanded Carla, rubbing her hair with a dry towel. Her people had set up the tents as soon as it started to rain, but since each of their tents were as big as a smaller cottage, it had taken them quite a bit of work in the rain to pitch a decent camp. Now everyone in Miss Frazetti's employ was soaked to the skin, some of them sneezing so loudly that it could be heard in the neighbouring tents as well. Carla didn't share her tent with anyone for the nights, but now she had a visitor in the person of Quartz Quench.

"How far?" Quartz mused, stirring the hot tea in his cup. Carla had offered to pour some rum into it, but he'd refused. Drinking alcohol in the presence of Mud People would result in getting expelled from the fairy community. Soon, according to Quartz's hopes, there would be no fairy community he could be expelled from, but as long as he hadn't eliminated the hated People, it was better not to take any risks. "I expect one more day. Two at the most," he replied.

Carla raised a finely shaped eyebrow at the masked man. "And how can I be sure that you are indeed leading us towards that pyramid, Mr Quench? You have no maps, nothing whatsoever, not to mention that our compasses have gone berserk. It's possible that we are going in rounds..."

"I can assure you, Miss Frazetti that we are going in the right direction and _will_ find the pyramid. Just keep trusting me, and you will not regret it."

"I seriously hope so, Mr Quench... I expect I need not remind you that I hate being disappointed... and usually if I'm disappointed, I order my metal men to pull the trigger."

Quartz seemed to stiffen for a second then nodded. To seem casual, he sipped a bit of tea. "Certainly, Miss Frazetti. You shall not be disappointed. You have my word for that. Thank you for the tea."

Carla gave him a faint smile. "Just one more thing, Mr Quench..."

"Yes?"

"That boy... the one who is travelling with us..."

"Yes? What about him?" asked the disguised fairy. He had expected the woman to ask him this question sooner or later, but he had hoped it would be later than sooner.

"I was just wondering why he was here. He seems a bit... eccentric to me. I heard from some of my metal men that he gave your guards lectures on biology, chemistry and even astrophysics. He seems to be a bit too clever for his age. Really, how old is he?"

"Twelve."

The woman's eyes narrowed. "A bit too short for a twelve-year-old, don't you think?"

"It runs in the family. His mother is short too."

"So you know his mother?"

"Obviously I do. Little Pat is my... nephew, after all."

"Your nephew, indeed?" Carla knitted her eyebrows. "For some reason I doubt that you would take your nephew on a dangerous trip like this... or am I wrong, Mr Quench?"

"All right, Miss Frazetti," Quartz sighed. "Let's put our cards on the table. The boy is no relation of mine. I'm merely taking him along for the journey because I need him... in the pyramid."

The woman crossed her arms before her chest. "Why do I have the feeling that you're trying to use him for something... dirty?"

"I don't know, madam. But would you really mind if I used him for something dirty?"

Carla's lips tucked into a cold smile. "As long as I get my gold - no."

"That's what I thought, Miss Frazetti." Quartz smiled back at her. "I always knew we'd be a wonderful team together."

* * *

"We haven't brought anything against tropical illnesses, have we?" asked Juliet, trying to remember the list of things they had packed for the journey. They had brought antidotes against snake- and spider-bites; they had even brought mosquito-repellent, but no vaccines against malaria. Obviously Artemis - who had written the list - had been well aware that malaria and most mosquito-spread diseases needed weeks to appear, and he had expected to be back at Haven (or in his case in Fowl Manor) by the time the symptoms started to show. How could he have known that malaria worked completely differently on dwarves than on humans? Not even he was omniscient...

"No," Opal replied. "We haven't brought any."

"Since he forfeited his magic when breaking into humans' houses, all we can do is heal him," Root interjected.

"If you're so eager to lose great portions of your magic, then go ahead." The pixie motioned to the one-time commander.

"Together," replied Julius.

"Together... what?" Koboi frowned. "You don't mean that I should _waste_ my magic on him?"

"If you don't waste some of your magic on Diggums, then we might as well turn back, because only he can accomplish one part of the plan."

"Jolly good, let's turn back, then!" trilled the pixie, then seeing Root's face, she heaved a sigh. "All right, all right. But only if you give him just as much of your healing powers as I do. Then we both only lose half as much of our magic."

"That's what I thought too. Ready?" Julius unbuttoned Mulch's shirt and put his fingertips on the dwarf's chest.

Opal seemed to hesitate for a moment then she touched her fingertips to Mulch's forehead. Suddenly the dwarf's eyes opened and he smiled up at her. "You're... you're... healing me, sweetie?"

"One more 'sweetie' and I won't heal you," she growled at him.

Mulch's smile widened. "That's... what I love... about you. Fiery... You could burn... anything you touch... and I love the risks..." He licked his lips that had dried like a parchment. "If... if the healing doesn't work... I'll be still happy that you tried it... And if it... doesn't work... then just... bury me deep."

"See? He's trying to escape even in such a bad shape," Opal muttered, shaking her head in disbelief. For some reason she couldn't find a snappy comeback... she couldn't find anything to hurt the dwarf with. Perhaps she didn't even want to hurt him anymore - and not because he was sick, but... She couldn't have said why. Could it have something to do with the fact that he'd said he _loved_ something about her? She blinked back a tear that threatened to fall. Surely that bloody contact lens irritated her eye... it was really high time to get rid of it.

"Alice, care to come back from Wonderland?" Root snapped at her.

"Huh?" Opal shuddered, suddenly remembering what she was supposed to be doing. "Oh. Heal."

Together, the two fairies pushed magic into the dwarf's body. As their little blue sparks engulfed Mulch, his yellowish face began to regain its usual healthy colour. After some minutes of thrashing - and quite successfully ruining the tent in the process - the dwarf's body stopped shaking. His teeth were no longer chattering, but his eyes remained closed, as though he were unconscious.

"Do you reckon that was enough?" Opal asked Root, bending over Mulch.

"It must have been enough. Now all we can do is wait."

They did not need to wait long. The dwarf slowly opened his eyes, blinked, and grinned at the pixie. "Thank you, precious. You saved my life."

"Go on, ignore the fact that I did half of the job," the elderly elf grunted, looking downright hurt.

"Keep your hair on, Julius." Diggums waved cheerfully. "It's just like this: if you wake up after having fainted and see two faces looking down at you, then which one do you address first? The young and pretty one, or the old and ugly?"

"Convict-" Root said, but stopped, clearly searching for a rude enough retort.

"Thank you, Julius." Mulch sat up and patted him on the shoulder. "Blimey, has there been a hurricane here?" he said, looking around. Half of the tent was ruined, rain freely flowing in.

"You have been that hurricane," said Juliet, squeezing water out of her plait.

Mulch turned ruby red. "Er... sorry. I did not want to release any gas bombs, my body must've been out of my control..."

"It's not like that," Opal replied with a small smile - the first non-derisive smile anyone had seen from her. "It was just the healing."

"Oh. Okay," Mulch said. "Just so that you know, I'd never release any dwarf gases in your presence, sweetheart."

"I seriously hope so," the pixie answered as coldly as possible. "And now, if you're already feeling so peachy, would you try and repair this bloody tent? I want to get some sleep at last!"

* * *

Only a few miles away, in another tent, two figures were lying, huddled together in lack of space. One of them was asleep, the other close to falling asleep.

Artemis's stubble, that was already close to becoming a short beard, prickled Holly's neck, but she decided not to shift or wake him up to turn away - she just revelled in the feeling of having his arms around her. His warm breath felt pleasant on her nape, and she thought that despite the hard jungle floor and the thin layer of the tent's floor, she had never in her life felt so comfortable before. Outside the torrent raged, blustery wind buffeted the material of their tent; possible predators were lurking among the dripping bushes, but she felt completely safe. She almost wished they could remain like this forever, closing out everything... just cuddling with all their problems, fears and the dangers awaiting them forgotten... A few days earlier she would have been mad at herself for having such thoughts, but now those thoughts felt natural.

Artemis stirred and loosened his grip on her, only to tighten it even more the next instant. Not waking up for a second, he pulled her even closer, holding her like a child would hold its favourite stuffed toy.

_I'm no plushie!_ The thought ran through Holly's mind, making her annoyed for a second, but then he snuggled his face even more into her neck, his lips making contact with her skin. An electric jolt cursed through her body from head to toe. She turned around to squint at him, to make sure he had done that unconsciously - because if he had been awake and had done that consciously, then...

He must have felt her suddenly move, because his eyes flew open and he sat bolt upright. "Where's that jaguar?" he muttered, blinking, his arms flailing, and his head turning from left to right then back to left as quick as though he were watching a table tennis match.

"There's no jaguar," Holly replied. "You must've had a nightmare."

Artemis heaved a deep sigh of relief then lay back down, breathing heavily. "I thought... I thought... it was horrible, Holly. I couldn't bear to see you... that way again."

"You won't," she whispered, reaching out to stroke his face to reassure him that everything was all right. Her fingers felt cold beads of sweat on his temples and she gently brushed them away. "I'm here, and no stupid jaguars will stand between us."

Even in the darkness, his eyes quite visibly flashed with surprise, and she realised that she'd composed her last sentence in a rather easily misunderstood way. Not that she hadn't _meant_ it that way - she just shouldn't have put it that way. Well, no crying over spilt milk...

"Go back to sleep," she said hastily. "We have to get up early... the pyramid awaits us."

"Yes... yes it does," he agreed, turning around to face away from her.

They spent the rest of the night drifting in and out of sleep, feeling the absence of a warming arm around them.

* * *

**Author's note 2**: next chapter: the trials begin. Once again, very happy Christmas! (I doubt mine will be happy too much, having to study for the exams... yuck). If I don't update till January, then happy New Year as well! 


	16. Confessions

**Author's note:** happy new year, everyone! Let's start the new year with a nice fic-recommendation: if you want to read a sweet, slightly smutty (R-rated) A/H fic that even has a plot, then go read ___**'Cords of destiny' by 'I should be Studying'**_. Wonderfully delighting A/H fic! :D 

Imagine what I got from my mum for Christmas (among other things): she translated the first seven chapters of this fic into Hungarian! And she did it without me finding out, so it was such a HUGE surprise! My dear Mum, I love her so much! :D

This chapter is dedicated to **Lady Emerald Black** whose heart-warming words brough a huge smile to my face, even though I read her review right after I did the most horrible exam ever (book keeping) which I am sure I failed.

_C-chan1:_ does that mean you're home-schooled? That's interesting... You've been waiting for a fic to get updated for three years? Wow, you must be a very patient person!

_Dorinda_: fortunately not :) But he'll go through enough even without the malaria.

_Mistri, Tonks' Admirer_: yup, both Arty and Holly are still reluctant to admit their feelings.

_Indigo Ziona_: I'm glad I've created a ship you'd like to sail on :D

_utena_: I must admit I don't have the slightest idea what Inuyasha is. Is it some anime series like Dragon Ball, or what? The title sounds Japanese to me...

_BeatlesLover:_ there will be some Mulch/Opal, but not much, so don't worry.

_Cassy:_ I wish I could do that, but even though studying is damn boring, it's more important than updating. Unfortunately :(

_VampirePeaches_: about Root and Commander... well, your feelings haven't betrayed you, young padawan. The Force is indeed strong in you... ;)

_OnionEater:_ the smut fic is about ready, but still needs betaing. And since it takes place right after this fic ends, I will only publish it when this fic is completely up on ffnet (that means sometime in February - it could be a Valentine Day's gift for example;) And I'm going to publish that one on adultffnet, since it's a strong R or a light NC-17, and I don't want to get into trouble with the ratings here. Of course there will be a link to it in my bio.

_missy witch:_ I'm sorry if my writing seems amateurish, I'm sure I could write more artfully in Hungarian (my native language). As I've only learned English at school, no one can expect my style to be perfect, because it never will be.

_mangafreak2273_: no, Quartz isn't in any of the books, he's my creation.

_angelamisaki_: I don't mind that they cancelled the Artemis movie. I'm sure it would have been a disappointment. You know, I didn't mind that they made Harry Potter movies, because in the HP universe you can't imagine the characters TOO differently from the movie ones, even if you read the books before you see the movies. In the AF fandom, however, you imagine the fairies, and the movie would make them look VERY different, and you'd be very disappointed. At least I would surely be very disappointed. I can't promise you much of Patrick's PoV, because this is rather an Arty/Holly fic. Patrick was only needed to give Holly a reason to search out Arty. Certainly there will be some Patrick moments, but not much. And happy birthday in advance!

_Demothenes and Locke_: don't worry, sarcastic comments between A/H NEVER stop. Actually, I imagine them giving each other sarcastic comments even in bed, during a passionate love-making session ;)

_Epsilon2Delta:_ it isn't my aim to make you ship A/H. As long as you tolerate it in my fic, it's fine by me :) And glad you like Mulch/Opal!

_kirby freak:_ I expect the reason why you dislike the sexual innuendo in my fics is that you're too young for them. In a few years, you very likely won't have anything against them ;) Glad you liked If The Fates Allow!

_MissEcoFreak:_ dunno if Mulch and Opal could have children... but if Arty and Holly could, then I expect that dwarf/pixie hybrids were possible too.

_Fleury:_ thank you for your long review. I'm glad you enjoyed all of my fanfics and that you kept reading this one, even though you had doubts at first.

_TinkerBell394587_: good for you, you at least had a white Christmas. I have never in my life experienced white Christmas :(( Not that it doesn't snow once in a while in Hungary, but NEVER at Christmas!

_Dreaming One:_ fairies are about one metre tall (three feet, I think, but I'm not sure, we use metres in Hungary).

Also thanks to: _p. nogard, neutralgal, animezebra, Keiko, trohS-ylloH, WackedOutPet13, Sioned, Cyberspace, phoenix6e, Neutrino, Jessica-chan, Nurun, Holly Rox, Spooks-A-Lot, Aurum Potestas Est, septempopuli, APERFECTATTITUDE, harriettapotter, I should be Studying, ME, Holly, PeanutButterOreoCookieGirl99, Cherri J.M. Ookami, Hannahbabara, Nemi Jade, CabooseMoose, callmequeen, Anig0ne, citcat299, DreamingFantasy, Lily Jane _

* * *

**Chapter 16**

**Confessions**

Opal was awoken by a gentle poking. "What?" She yawned, her eyes still closed.

"Get off me, sweetie, or I can't stand up," Mulch told her in his usual raspy voice, that, for some reason, Opal found extremely pleasant and warm that morning.

_What? Pleasant? A dwarf's voice?_ Her mind screamed at her as she blinked to assess the situation. The situation was the following: she was partly sprawled upon Diggums, her right arm thrown across his chest, her head resting on his shoulder and her right leg mysteriously tangled with his. It was a nice feeling.

_Niiiiice?_

The pixie sat up, disentangling herself from the dwarf's limbs. "When did you snuggle up to me, huh?" she demanded.

"I did not," Mulch replied cheerfully. "You did, honey. I was there, laying awake, still too shaken by the thought of this malaria thing when you suddenly slipped closer to me in your sleep and… Why, should I have awoken you?"

"Yes, you should have!" she snapped at him, jumping up and running out of the tent.

"Well, well, well, isn't that one of our lazy lovebirds?" Root gave her an amused look as Juliet held a tiny mirror for him so that he could properly clip his beard.

"Lovebird my arse," Miss Koboi said through gritted teeth. "I seriously don't know what you males think! I agreed to heal that lousy dwarf, but that doesn't mean I have… _something_ for him, okay? Wipe that idiotic smirk off your face, Mud Girl!"

Root had to reach out and grab the mirror because it was shaking in Juliet's hand due to the young woman's fit of giggles.

"Honestly, she's so much like Holly in this respect." Juliet pointed at the angered pixie who had thrown herself on a mossy rock, fuming.

"What do you mean by that?" Root asked, smoothing his beard. It had curled thanks to the humid jungle air, giving him the look of a mad hippie. Now it was more or less back to its normal, Gandalf-like state. "I don't see much resemblance between Holly and Koboi…"

"That's right." The Butler girl nodded. "They are as different as night from day, but they do have something in common: their attitude towards males they fancy."

The one-time commander rolled his eyes. "Don't start with that again, Miss Butler! What on earth makes you think Holly has _feelings_ for Fowl? They're different species, for Frond's sake!"

"As are Opal and Mulch," Juliet replied. "And even you agreed that there was something going on between those two after we woke up. The way they were cuddling… a real Kodak moment…"

Root snatched the pocket mirror out of the young woman's hand, shaking his head. "Interspecies relationships never worked."

"What if this time they do?" she asked in a challenging voice.

"It might." Julius shrugged. "After all, both Diggums and Koboi are criminals, and devious criminals at that. They might hit it off well."

"You know I wasn't talking about _them_," Juliet said with an accusatory edge. "I was talking about Arty and Holly."

Root's eyes flashed. "I will have none of this Arty-Holly rubbish! It's nonsense! You know it, I know it and Holly knows it too! Or even if _she_ doesn't, then I seriously hope that at least _Fowl_ has enough sense to see that nothing good could come out of it!"

"Nothing good? Are you sure?" Juliet knitted her blonde eyebrows, giving her still baby-like face a lovely quality that usually makes every male member in her hobby wrestling club drool. "Wouldn't you at least give them a chance? Not even if they truly loved each other?"

"My fair lady," the one-time commander said, drawing himself up to indicate that whatever was to come was highly important. "The experience of millennia has taught us that fairies cannot live together with humans. Mud People are impossible to bear on the long run. Even if Holly liked Fowl and decided to… let's mention the most ridiculous possibility, _elope_ with him, she'd be coming back in less than a week. But believe me, she doesn't like your Principal _that way_, and definitely has enough sense to keep herself as far from him as possible."

"Does she?" Koboi said with a sneer. She had been listening to the whole conversation but had found it too interesting to interrupt - even when the Mud Girl and the old elf had been discussing _her_ love life.

"Certainly she does, convict," Root grunted, putting a mushroom cigar into his mouth but not lighting it. "She's a LEP commander who knows where her place is." With that he returned to the tent to pack his belongings, indicating that the argument was over.

Juliet glanced at Opal, who shook her head with a 'that's a typical male for you' expression.

Root heaved his bag onto his back and watched as the dwarf and the Mud Woman broke camp. Try as he might, he couldn't get Juliet's words out of his mind. Surely Holly knew that she, as commander, wasn't supposed to be playing with fire? Holly was clever, after all. Clever not to get burned… wasn't she?

* * *

Holly Short, in the meantime, felt definitely 'burned'. She and Artemis were walking across the jungle, and Artemis - being the taller of the two - was somewhat clumsily wielding a machete. They had arrived at the thickest part of the forest where the only possible method for moving forward was cutting their way through the undergrowth. Though neither of them said it aloud, both of them found this sudden density highly suspicious. True, the jungle had always been fairly dense, but this part was three or four times thicker than the rest. As though Mother Nature was desperately trying to hide something from curious eyes around here… 

Listening to Artemis's rhythmical panting, Holly followed him, but her thoughts were far away. They were of the previous night, Artemis's nightmare about 'losing her' and her careless answer that stupid jaguars couldn't stand between them. She cursed her carelessness for letting her utter… something so… so ridiculous! How could she? What could Artemis think of her now? Such a mushy remark would make anyone draw the conclusion that she was hopelessly smitten with the Mud Boy! _But I'm not!_ She shouted to herself.

_Are you not?_ Her mind asked dubiously. _Then why did you feel you had to save him from the jaguar, risking your own life? _

Just… just because he's vital for The Plan. He's vital for stopping Quench and saving my son… she tried to convince herself.

_Vital, yes, but you did not think of your son when that beast attacked Fowl! You didn't think of Patrick, nor yourself, only HIM! Only Artemis! _

I know, a tiny voice whispered in her mind. _It was just… instinct. The rescue instinct of a LEPrecon fairy… There's nothing special about it… _

Now really! a sarcastic voice inside her head replied. _Did you feel the same blood-freezing panic when you were trying to save others?_

Holly had to admit: she had not. She had been more than willing to rescue the Mud People in Martina Franca, she had twice defied a troll to save a bunch of restaurant guests and the Butler siblings, but never, not even in the direst situations had she felt such horrible panic as she had felt the day before. She had always been ready to risk her life for others, but the jaguar case had been different. She wasn't fighting for unknown people; she was fighting for him. Never in her life had she felt so close to death, and never in her life had she been so afraid for the person she was trying to save. Despite an important rule of the LEP, she had become emotionally attached to the subject of her rescue attempt. And it had not happened during the rescue itself - it had happened a long time ago. Not even in the past 8-9 days she'd spent together with Fowl. Holly knew that it had happened much, much earlier, she just hadn't realised it.

_Will you miss him, Holly?_ Foaly's words of so many years ago echoed in her mind.

_No. I will not miss him_, she had answered.

But it had been a lie. Right when she'd said it, she'd seen the centaur in her mind's eye, his eyebrows raised, his lips pursed and his eyes radiating 'you can't fool me, Captain, and you can't fool yourself either'.

They continued walking silently, the only sounds being the chirping of birds, squeaking of monkeys, rustling of the undergrowth under their feet and Artemis's heavy breathing. Holly had to smile at his constant panting - home gym or not, he could have been in better physical condition. Poor Artemis… Instead of convenient business meetings, sipping Earl Grey in a cushioned armchair, here he was, fighting his way across the rainforest, his frightfully expensive suit hanging as a tattered rag from his body, his fine black leather shoes covered with mud and on the verge of falling apart; his face and hands full of scratches thanks to thorns and twigs… And yet, she couldn't have found him more attractive than in his current stubby, dirty, sweaty and bloody state. She watched as beads of sweat gently trickled down his neck, disappearing into the grey-turned (once snow white) collar of his shirt. She licked her lips and a barely audible sigh issued from her mouth.

_Humidity must've got to my nerves_, she thought. In order to take her mind off her unholy cravings, she spoke up: "Hey, Mud Boy, would you like me to take over for a while?"

"No need for that, Commander," he replied over his shoulder. "And it's Mr Fowl for you."

Holly rolled her eyes. "Right, Mr Fowl. If you want to pass out with fatigue, do so. What do I care?"

It was Artemis's turn to roll his eyes. "I meant no need for help, Commander, because we've arrived."

"Have we?" Holly frowned upon him. From both sides he was sandwiched between thick shrubs, and she couldn't see past him.

He nodded, making two more swishes with the machete, then stepped out into a more or less rectangular, bush-free area.

Holly's eyes widened as the 'tunnel' cut by Artemis widened into a clearing.

* * *

Second Tenochtitlan. 

It looked even more majestic than it had from the Aztec hillside fortress…

The pyramid's grey stones were fairly overgrown with vines, and monkeys were hanging from the vines, their squeaks mingling with that of blue and yellow-feathered parrots.

The row of steps that led up to the entrance was decorated with two long stone serpents running down from the entrance on both sides. The serpents' huge heads were resting on the ground, mostly covered with plants. One of them even had pink flowers sprouting from its mouth.

No doubt, this place had been avoided by humans for five hundred years and nature had completely taken over the building.

"Breathtaking," Holly whispered, not being able to take her eyes off the pyramid.

"Yeah. But let me remind you that we don't have time to stand here and marvel," Artemis replied dryly and began walking towards the building.

The elf knitted her eyebrows. _Typical Fowl, unable to appreciate the beauties of nature_, she thought. She had no idea how wrong she was. Less than twenty-four hours earlier Artemis had very much _appreciated_ the beauties of nature… ehm, the beauty of a certain fairy bathing in the lake…

* * *

"Two hundred steps!" Artemis said, gasping for breath as he reached the top of the stairs. "I did not bargain for mountaineering when I agreed to go with you to Haven…" 

"Two hundred steps isn't that much," Holly replied, wiping her beading forehead.

"It wouldn't be that much if I weren't carrying this enormous rucksack," he sighed, dropping the aforementioned bag on the pyramid's terrace and bending to fish his flask out of it. "Wish Juliet were here…"

"To carry the bag for you, or…?"

"Or what?" Young Fowl asked, sipping some spring water from the flask. He felt like taking a long drink, but he knew that it wouldn't be good for his health when he was heated up, and he expected he'd need some water later on. Those eight trials would surely take a lot of his energies and water would be vital.

"…or you were missing her for another reason?" Holly finished her question with an impish smirk. Certainly Juliet had told her that Artemis's assertion about her being his lover had been a lie, but she wanted to hear it from him.

"What do you mean?" He frowned at her, pulling a dirty handkerchief out of his breast pocket to dry his sweaty face.

"I just meant… you two are lovers, after all…" She turned away from him to hide her grin.

"Oh, that. Well… yeah…" He didn't sound too convincing. Even if Holly hadn't known the truth from Juliet, she wouldn't have believed him now.

She turned around to face him, her arms crossed before her chest. "You never slept with her."

"Why do you think I haven't?"

"She told me," the fairy replied with a contented expression. "And forgive me for saying this, but I rather believe her than you…"

Artemis made a grimace. "Charming. But I think I deserved that. It was a bit below the belt, though."

"I know." She beamed at him. Embarrassing Fowl was her favourite pastime.

She took a few steps towards the entrance then stopped and turned around with a scowl on her face.

"What?" He asked, seeing her dark expression.

"I just realised something. This is a _human dwelling_." She felt like kicking herself for not having thought of this earlier. It could easily ruin The Plan.

"Is not. Well, practically it is, but for the time being nobody is _dwelling _in it, and it is in no one's property. So don't worry about that, you will be able to enter… as will Quench, unfortunately."

"Are you sure this isn't owned by anyone? Say the Aztecs? I reckon if it was built by their ancestors, then it belongs to them now…"

"No, it doesn't. I asked the Chief," he replied, pulling the bag onto his back again.

"When exactly did you ask the Chief?" She frowned. She didn't like being left out of anything, and Mud Boy here seemed to be playing his old game again: keeping information from others.

"When you visited the public loo," came the nonchalant answer. "The Chief said that since nobody of his tribe had visited the pyramid for centuries, it can be considered as though it didn't belong to anyone. So, after you, milady." He bowed slightly, motioning her to enter.

Holly bit into her lower lip. Again, she had the feeling that Fowl was not telling her something. Perhaps more than one thing…

"Right, Mud B… Mr Fowl. But if I happen to throw up inside then you're on your own to fight Frazetti's gang. I'll come out, hide away in the bushes and ambush Quench when he too stumbles down the stairs, puking."

"Trust me, there will not be any puking around here."

"We'll see." With that she entered the pyramid. Artemis followed.

Thanks to the small window-like openings all around, the building wasn't completely dark.

"Ooooh!" Holly gasped.

"What! Are you feeling sick?" Artemis asked, worried. He wouldn't admit if anyone asked, but he was more worried for her than for his reputation of not making mistakes. What if the Chief had been wrong?

"No! See, my wrist-phone! It's working again!" Holly said delightedly.

Artemis pulled the compass out of his pocket. Undoubtedly it was pointing north and there were pretty green numbers on its tiny screen, showing their exact location. Brilliant. In a second he memorised the coordinates, in case the compass got destroyed. He might have a chance to return here one day and exploit the pyramid's golden reserves…

"You know what this means," he spoke up.

"What?"

"It means we can stick to plan A. Hopefully Team B will be inside the pyramid in a couple of hours, and then we will be able to contact them. Actually, I'm glad that Plan B wasn't needed…"

"Yeah, especially because it wasn't nearly as witty as Plan A, and it involved a whole lot more violence…" she added and took a step forward. "Woah!"

"What?" Artemis asked from behind her.

"Come and see for yourself."

He stepped next to her and stiffened. There must have been some sensor in the floor, because as soon as both of them stepped over an invisible line, the inner-side of the pyramid dissolved to be replaced by a gorge. A swift river was flowing in it, its waves clashing into razor-sharp white rocks.

"The first task," he said plainly.

"Yeah."

"Should be no problem if our gadgets are working again. You put on your DoubleDex and attach me on a Moonbelt." A belittling smile appeared on his face. "The Aztec priests weren't counting with fairy technology when they filled the pyramid with their magic tricks."

"Apparently," Holly replied with a smirk and strapped on her wings.

* * *

"I wonder how Frazetti's team is going to cross this river," Artemis remarked as they landed on the other coast three minutes later. 

"I hope it will take them a while to figure it out," Holly said, unclipping Artemis from her Moonbelt. "Or rather, I hope all of them get drowned in the river…"

"…except for Patrick, of course," Artemis added, glancing down at the water racing among the sharp-edged white rocks. "And those who don't drown can easily be flattened on the rocks… or cut into a few pieces by the edges…"

Holly shuddered. She wouldn't mind if every single member of Frazetti's gang got themselves smashed to death down there, as long as Quench was one of the casualties and Patrick wasn't.

For her son's sake she caught herself wishing that the Chicago mobster and her people all got safely across the river, or the boy might be facing the remaining tasks on his own, and according to Obsidian Snake, once you started the trials, you couldn't quit before you accomplished all of them. The only way you could quit earlier was if you died. Surely if there were several people in a team trying to accomplish the tasks, they had more of a chance to stay alive, and so did Patrick.

Holly turned away from the gorge and Artemis followed suit. As soon a both of them were facing away from the finished first task, two mountains appeared right in front of them, their base a mere foot away from the human and the fairy. The mountains were joined together at the base and looked dangerously rickety. Their cliffs resembled huge needles as though they consisted of nothing else but stalagmites standing out of the rocks, pointing skywards and some of them sticking out of the ridges almost horizontally.

"Impressive. Like two mutant hedgehogs," young Fowl said, glancing over his shoulder. The gorge seemed to have disappeared, and there was nothing but an empty space where the river had been a few seconds earlier. Now even if it was still there, it was completely veiled in a milky white mist. Artemis decided not to check whether it was indeed still there, or he might find himself falling into the invisible abyss.

"Do you reckon we should fly between them?" Holly mused. Just then a stone avalanche started from the highest peak, causing several of the 'stalagmites' to break and tumble into the narrow valley between the two mountains.

"Yeah…" Artemis muttered in a faltering voice. Had they taken a few steps into the valley half a minute earlier, they would very likely be buried under that huge pile of stones. "It will be risky to fly through the openings among the cliffs, but with the DoubleDex we still have a better chance to get out of the way of an avalanche than on foot."

"Agreed." The fairy nodded. "However, those stone-needles stand dangerously close to each other… I can't let you dangle from my Moonbelt as usual, or your feet will surely collide with them…"

"It seems the only way we can fit through the openings is if we cuddle up in the air."

"You've grown too fond of cuddling lately," Holly said with a sly smile.

"Perhaps I have." He sent her a lopsided grin. "But you never seemed to object too much…"

"How do you imagine this _cuddling in the air_, huh?"

"I'll hang from you like a sloth from a tree," he replied.

"Lovely imagery." She wrinkled her nose. "All right then, come here. I'll attach your belt to my Moonbelt then just… embrace me."

This was definitely fun, Artemis decided. He got a direct order from the commander to hug her.

She switched on the Koboi DoubleDex and slightly hovered off the ground, in a horizontal state. Artemis slid his arms around her neck and crossed his legs around her thighs. He had never in his life been in such an intimate pose with anyone.

"Grab me tight, we're taking off," she instructed him and ascended a hundred feet into the air. It ran through her mind that Aztec priests must have known a lot about magic if they managed to put rivers and mountains inside a building. Then again, the fairy camp shield put the camp's occupants into another dimension, so why couldn't the Aztec priests too have played a bit with dimensions? For the first time in her life Holly felt respect for a group of Mud Men other than the Fowl-Butler-Juliet team. Not even fairy People would have been capable of magicking mountains into pyramids.

Artemis, obeying her order, tightened his grip on her neck and his legs wound like a vice around hers.

As she reached the height of one hundred feet, she set her wings to maximum speed. It would be better to fly across the openings at top speed than to inch forward slowly and carefully - the latter method would more likely result in getting buried under an avalanche.

"Here we go," Holly said through gritted teeth and Artemis let out a yelp of surprise as she suddenly burst towards the lethal cliffs like a fairy-rocket. To lessen the air resistance (and to make sure he wouldn't let out another embarrassing gasp) he buried his face into the only available 'cushion': Holly's bosom.

Under normal circumstance the LEP commander would have punched him across the face so hard that he'd be spitting out a few front teeth, but for the time being she ignored the fact that an impudent Mud Man's nose was nestled in the valley between her breasts. She had to concentrate on another valley: the valley between those wretched mountains.

* * *

She had already managed to flit through four cliff-free holes when a particularly narrow and small arch loomed ahead. The arch was formed by two 'stalagmites' standing askew out of the mountains' sides over a stone ledge. 

_That's going to be a close fit_, Holly thought, but didn't voice it aloud - Mud Boy needn't know that they were just about to fly across an almost impossible-to-fit-through opening. Anyway, he might panic if he only knew _how narrow_ that arch was… so better let him bury his face into her 'valley'…

Only seconds remained until they reached the arch.

Three… two… one…

Something bumped into them for a second…

"Yes!" Holly breathed and punched the air triumphantly as they came out at the other end.

The task was managed - they had passed the last obstacle and Holly could finally lower them to the ground and unclip Artemis.

"You know…" she panted, her face rosy with both exertion and the flush of victory, "I told you to _grab_ me. Not to _grope_ me."

Artemis's complexion blushed and looked away, over Holly's shoulder.

At first she didn't even notice that his eyes had widened, then, after a few seconds it got too obvious to ignore.

"What?" she asked.

Instead of replying, he yanked her to the left, knocking her off her feet. In the next instant an avalanche of rocks cascaded down upon them.

* * *

"The pyramid, as promised, Miss Frazetti," Quench said in an unctuous voice. 

The woman sized up the building then gave the masked man an appreciative glance. "I have to give it to you, you kept your word. And you did it despite our malfunctioning compasses and lack of a map. Bravo, Mr Quench. You must possess extraordinary talents in orienteering."

"No extraordinary talents, Miss Frazetti, merely a good ability to notice things." Quartz waved. "The forest started to thicken at some point, and my instincts told me that there must be something it wanted to hide… something that _the Aztecs_ wanted to hide."

"Do you reckon all those crashed planes are a result of the Aztecs' hocus-pocus?" Carla raised a heavily pencilled eyebrow at him. Not even in the jungle did she forget about make-up and her favourite white petal perfume. However, she completely ignored all the drooling her dark beauty caused among her metal men.

"It could be," Quartz mused. "They are said to have had some really powerful priests who knew quite a bit of magic… I'd say they created some shield around the pyramid; a shield that renders all technology useless."

"But how on earth did the Aztecs five hundred years ago know that there would be_ technology_ centuries later?" Carla wondered.

"Obviously they regarded the Spanish's guns as technology," Patrick interjected in his usual know-it-all voice. "Not a too advanced technology, but compared to their bows and arrows, it was technology. So I suppose this shield or whatever must've been created to disable the 'evil white men's fire-spitting sticks'."

The female mobster gave the boy a look of respect. "You know an abnormally lot for your age, child. My men are telling me that you keep lecturing them on the most impossible subjects, like the mating habits of poison frogs… How do you know so much?"

"I'm a genius, madam."

"And a little conceited," Quench added with a scowl at Patrick. This was supposed to be his big moment and the insolent brat was stealing his glory.

"Or perhaps you are a bit envious of your… _nephew'_s talents?" Carla gave Quartz a cynical sneer. "Well then, gentlemen, shall we proceed?"

Her metal men nodded and headed for the pyramid. Miss Frazetti followed them. Quench, Patrick and the two fairy guards turned Mud Men brought up the rear.

The mobster's gorillas were already walking up the stairs when Patrick halted and threw his hands out to stop the disguised fairies.

"What?" Quartz snapped at him.

"This is a human dwelling," the boy said.

Fern and Reed stiffened. "Hey, the boy's right, boss! We can't go in there!"

"Morons," Quench grunted. "This building hasn't been entered for five hundred years! Not a single Mud Man lives in it and most definitely no one owns it. The Aztecs are long extinct, you know."

"Ooooh," Reed commented. "Then it's okay."

"Of course it's okay," said their employer. "And now, move! You too, boy!"

Patrick, however, did not budge. A vein throbbed on his temple - he was fighting the Obedience Serum with all his might.

"What are you waiting for? LEPRetrieval to come and save you?"

Young Short swallowed hard and shook his head. He had long given up on the LEP rescuing him. How could the fairy police know where to look for him? There was no way his mother would have found out about his kidnapper's person and intentions… The problem was that not even _he_ knew the exact intentions of the crazed millionaire.

"What do you want here, Quench?" Patrick spoke up, starting to feel dizzy - defying the Obedience Serum did that to a person. However, his captor must not see how sick he was beginning to feel. Patrick straightened his back to look as superior as possible, although his lips were definitely trembling and his face was already snow white. "What is in there that will help you with your little vendetta?"

"_Little_ vendetta?" The masked fairy cackled. "It will not be little, my boy. It will be mammoth. Enormous." He leaned closer to make sure that no one but the boy would hear him. "No fairy will survive… so say good-bye to Mummy in thought, because you will not see her again."

"You monster," Patrick hissed, his eyes gleaming with hatred, giving him an almost ghostly appearance: deep blue eyes in a chalk-white face. He couldn't have resembled his father more than he did now.

Truth was that up till now he had not really taken Quench seriously. True, he had had pangs of remorse when he had made the 'MMM' for his captor, but up till now it hadn't fully sunk in what his weakness, his inability to resist the Obedience Serum could result in.

Though not directly, he could become the murderer of his own mother. The murderer of Uncle Julius, Foaly, Trouble and the others. Murderer of people he loved.

The thought that he'd never see his mother again was excruciating. He had never been a good boy. Holly had always had to coax every single kiss and hug out of him… he had never initiated a hug, and - he felt like kicking himself for it - he had never told his mother how much he loved her. And now he would never have the chance to tell her…

Patrick hated to look weak, but there were situations when not even the most indifferent Fowl could blink back a tear. He didn't bother to wipe it; he let it flow freely down his cheek. He was far too weak to wipe it - defying the serum had robbed him of his strength and he was close to fainting.

"Oh, little Short is saaaad…" Quartz said in a mock-baby voice. "Don't worry, boy, you will see your mummy after all…"

Patrick sniffed and deciding that he wouldn't faint yet, he frowned upon his captor. "When? Where?"

A devilish smirk spread on Quench's face, but thankfully most of it was hidden by the mask. "When? Soon, very soon. Where? In the netherworld, sonny."

Patrick's eyes narrowed, not a shadow of sadness left on his face. Now his expression radiated nothing but disgust. "You intend to kill me then?"

"Spot-on, boy. And now, get moving!"

No longer able to resist the order, Patrick began walking towards Second Tenochtitlan, suddenly feeling his strength returning to him. It was a good feeling to obey. Relieving.

* * *

Holly coughed, waving her hand to banish the cloud of dust that had gathered around them after the stone-shower. 

"Artemis?" she called out for him, unable to see him in the dust-filled air.

"Stuck beneath something, but alive," came a shaky answer.

The fairy's heart received a jolt - for a few seconds she'd feared he'd died. She started crawling in the direction his voice had come from. "Speak to me, Artemis!"

"What, no Fowl this time?" he asked with a hint of sarcasm in his voice. However, sarcasm wasn't the only thing she could detect in it - there was some warmth in it too, and a bit of relief. Relief, no doubt at hearing _her_ voice.

"A slip of the tongue," Holly said, smiling to herself. "So, _Fowl_, next time I tell you to _grab_ me, try to grab, not to _grope_. And try to avoid sticking your face into my chest."

A gust of wind came, sweeping the dirt away. Holly immediately spotted Artemis lying under a heap of debris. There was one particularly big chunk of stone covering his legs.

Holly dropped to her knees next to him and began removing the smaller pieces of stone from the young man's upper body. As soon as his arms and chest were freed, he gingerly sat up and helped the commander lift the sizable piece off his legs. The moment it was off, searing pain ran through his right leg. It was so intense that he almost passed out.

Seeing the suffering expression on his face and hearing his inadvertent gasp, she adjusted the visor of her helmet (lucky that she'd put it on before taking on the crumbling mountains) and switched on the X-ray filter. "Bad news, Mud B… Fowl. It's definitely broken."

Artemis's face darkened. It was indeed bad news. True, the elf had performed the Ritual only half a day earlier, but it was daunting, having to use a lot of her powers already after the second task. There was another six to come, after all…

"Can you heal it?" he asked, gritting his teeth against the howl of pain that wanted to escape his mouth.

"Obviously I can. But it will hurt," she grunted, then, with a sudden movement she tore the fabric of his Armani trousers to reveal his right leg from knee down. "It's going to hurt badly."

"Any more than it already does?" he whimpered, thankful that at least his ribs were intact. The debris could as easily have broken any of them.

"There's a dislocation. I'll have to fit the broken ends of your shinbone together," she replied with a compassionate face.

"Couldn't you just… give it an anaesthetic shot of magic before you…?" Artemis began, but judging by her expression, she couldn't.

Usually she delighted in causing the Mud Boy discomfort, but this time she truly felt with him.

"Here," she pulled a tiny torch that resembled a pencil out of her pocket.

"What for?" he eyed the small object in her outstretched hand.

"I expect you don't want to bite your tongue off."

"Oh…" Artemis took the torch and slipped it between his teeth. Of course it was to use against biting his tongue off! Had he not been in so much pain, he would have felt embarrassed about not thinking quickly enough. Then again, if he hadn't been in so much pain, he would have been able to think quicker.

"Are you ready?" Holly asked.

"I dink so," he muttered through the torch in his mouth.

"Okay. Grab something. The grass, two stones or anything you can't break," she advised.

Artemis held onto two patches of grass and nodded to Holly to proceed.

"Here we go…"

The bones snapped back into their places and an almighty scream left Artemis's mouth, echoing across the valley; then he passed out, the torch rolling out from between his teeth.

Holly looked around to make sure that the abnormally loud voice hadn't started another avalanche. Thankfully it had not.

However tempting it was, Holly decided not to tease him later about screaming. She would have screamed in his place too.

Removing her LEP helmet, she glanced down at the unconscious youth. His face was dirty and full of cuts due to the stones that had hit him. He couldn't have looked more helpless, and he seemed ages younger than he truly was. A lost, beaten-up little boy…

For some it would have been a frightening image, but for Holly it was the epitome of sweet innocence. She had never imagined there would come a day she'd think of Artemis Fowl as 'innocent'.

She brushed her thumb across his face, letting a lazy blue spark circle on his cheeks, healing his wounds. His lips parted slightly, a sigh escaping them.

_Heavens, he's so beautiful_, she thought, not feeling a bit guilty at such thoughts. She had denied it long enough; there was no point in denying it any longer.

She bent down and gently touched her lips to his, then straightened her back and devoted all her attention to his injured leg. She placed her hands onto the man's shinbone and let her magic flow.

Two minutes later, she released his leg, wiping sweat off her brow. Artemis's eyes fluttered open.

"Welcome back, Sleeping Beauty." She grinned down at him.

"My leg?" he asked, not daring to take a look at it.

She felt like saying 'unfortunately I had to chop it off', but she didn't want him to faint again.

"Healthy. It might be a little stiff for a while, but usable."

Artemis wriggled his toes - they were undoubtedly moving, and there was no pain. "Thanks, Holly."

"You're welcome. By the way, I think you saved me too from that avalanche… so thanks."

"You're welcome," he echoed her words, his eyes twinkling in an unusually carefree way.

"I wonder how the avalanche started in the first place, though." She stood up, dusting dirt off her uniform. "Oh, no!" She breathed, pulling off her Koboi DoubleDex. It was completely shattered. They would not be flying over or through anything with it anymore.

Artemis made a pout at the broken wings. "I think it was my rucksack."

"What?" Holly asked absentmindedly, dropping the useless set of wings onto the ground.

"My rucksack got stuck on some ledge or something, but only for a second," he explained. "At least I felt that we'd collided with something, but didn't voice it as we continued flying. I thought the collision hadn't done anything. But apparently it did. That ledge must have been supporting a heap of stones that got dislodged as soon as the ledge broke."

He carefully stood up (his right leg felt somewhat shaky) and looked around in search for his bag. He found it buried under a tomb-stone-look-a-like. With Holly's help he freed it from its confinement. Thankfully the bow and the arrows that Artemis had carried on his shoulder along with the rucksack had not been harmed.

"I think this stone must have cut the bag off my back as it fell - good that Juliet had poured the serum into unbreakable glasses," he said. "That bloody stone missed my head by inches. Bless my good reflexes, they saved both of us."

"Yeah, yeah, just don't get all complacent!"

"I'm _not_ complacent!"

"Huh?" Holly blinked. "Artemis Fowl and not complacent? That's an oxymoron again, exactly like Artemis Fowl and innocent…"

He made a grimace.

"Really," she continued with an impish grin, "are you still… _innocent_?"

Artemis arched an eyebrow at her in a way that challenged her to carry on - as though testing her whether she _dared_ carry on… And she did.

"After all…" Holly looked up at him, "As I mentioned before, Juliet told me that there was nothing between the two of you…"

The young man's eyes narrowed, but only for a second, then a small smile appeared on his face. A smile that suggested 'you know me too well, Holly Short'.

"…and, after hearing about your unfortunate attempt at getting a wife, I just thought that perhaps…"

"You want to know whether I'm a virgin or not," he concluded.

Pressing her lips firmly together to give the image of a strict commander, she nodded.

"Right," he said, looking away from her and bending down to dust his bag, "I am. So what?"

"So why did you lie to me?" She demanded.

Straightening himself and clasping his hands behind his back, he glanced down at her. "Should I have admitted that, at the age of 26, I'm still a virgin?"

There was a light in his blue eyes - a light that Holly had barely ever seen before. Was it shame?

"Why… that's nothing to be ashamed of. I'm 94, and still a virgin," she said with a faint smile.

Artemis raised an eyebrow at her, but decided not to comment. For some reason he felt happy about the news…

* * *

**A/N2**: since I'm still having exams, don't expect a quick update. Review, please! 


	17. The greatest gift

**Author's note:** sorry about the late update, but I'm _still_ having exams (I've failed bookkeeping/accounting twice so far... have to try it for the third time next week...) _sigh_, I'm so fed up with exams!

Another rec: _'The Fowl Deception'_ by _Earthborne_. Seems an interesting A/H fic with a **plot**. LOL. Yeah, plots are important... ;)

This chapter contains a few lines that are strong PG-13, but I believe they aren't as strong as the 'lake scene' in chapter 14. Still, better be warned.

**Good news that I've decided to write a SEQUEL **(actually already wrote 1.5 pages of it, LOL). I'm full of ideas (I shared them with mum and she found them very promising). Very likely I will publish that fic in September/October, as I will need all spring and summer to write it (not to mention that summer brings Harry Potter six and it might inspire me to another HP fic as well). I don't know what will happen in Artemis book 4, but it will **not** influence the sequel's plot, as the sequel will be built on the first three books and this fic. I just thought I'd tell you in advance to look out for a second long AF fic from me at autumn. If you don't want to miss it, put me on your author alert list :)

_animezebra:_ yes, Frazetti WILL find out about the fairies.

_chocolate smudge_: believe me, it IS hard to write long chapters and don't ramble, but I'm trying to keep my fics as 'non-rambling' as possible. Actually I dislike fics in which every chapter is 30 pages long and absolutely nothing happens. That just feels Tolkien-ish to me, and I must admit I don't like Tolkien's style because he rambles and rambles and rambles... oh well. The fic is going to have 21 chapters, so only six left. And there will be a smut-encore after chapter 21. And then, the sequel...

_leonsalanna_: when Artemis screamed, no one else was around but Holly, so no one could hear the scream. How did they know that the pyramid was a human dwelling? Well, I thought it was quite obvious that only humans built pyramids...

_Mistri, Tonks' Admirer:_ Holly won't find out about Arty being a 'voyeur' until the smut-fic, but in that, she will find out. I hope you don't find the tasks bloody boring. I ruined Holly's wings to make sure that they _couldn't _use it, because I _knew_ it would be boring if they did.

_Fleury:_ I must admit I don't even remember Norbert tapping the Map when he and Dan found it. So I'm sure he didn't change his name on it. The Map showed him as Norbert Devilsmoor-Malfoy, as that was his proper name in _this_ life.

_Kateli:_ I'm honoured that you only registered with ffnet to review me. Thanks! Glad you liked If the Fates Allow too :D

_C-chan1_: I had problems getting online too when I had XP installed on my computer, but then it turned out that when you're using XP and a modem, then you have to turn on the modem BEFORE you turn on the computer, otherwise it won't work. If you're homeschooled, will you be able to go to a university? I expect you're not getting any high school certificates this way, are you? No, I don't think Arty ever played Chrono Trigger. He isn't the type to like computer games, I can only imagine him using the computer for writing witty programs that help him hack into well-protected sites.

_Cyberspace:_ I'm glad you want to see A/H kissing, even though you're an anti-A/H shipper. If you want to see tongue-duelling between A/H, then you will have to wait for the smut-fic... I wrote a really nice deep-kissing scene in it ;)

_Vampire Peaches:_ yeah, they eat and drink between chapters. And mostly they pee and poop between chapters too. Eh, who would want to write such things into the fic (besides making mosquitoes bite Artemis _there_?;)) Yeah, I take Arty never had a sex ed class, but he knew more about sex at the age of twelve than others at twenty. He read those books, you know ;) (hehe, of course _you_ know).

_BeatlesLover_: seven chapters left (together with this one).

_me:_ I wish you were right...

_Epsilon2Delta:_ I'm letting you see a bit of the Quartz/Frazetti gang's progress through the pyramid, but it's not the most important thing, so you won't see much. Some Patrick PoV in this chapter (you can't complain, there WAS Patrick PoV in chapter 16 too!) Also, if the sequel turns out like I'm currently imagining it, then little Pat will have much more of a role in it than in this one.

_Neutrino:_ kiss in this chapter! Though... not a really romantic one... I hope your Aztec Incident withdrawal symptoms didn't get any worse...

_Hannahbabara_: you found _I should by Studying_'s fic VERY smutty? I did not. My one-shot smutic will be way smuttier than hers was... _Agi tries to look innocent_

_angelamisaki_: I only wish the fourth book had some A/H romance... but it won't :(

_HollyRox:_ they get together. About a sequel, see the note at the top.

_Hyperkitti_: no, they won't stay virgins for long in each other's company. Actually, they are going to lose their virginity in about three days's time... but that will happen in a separate fic, on another site.

_C. Holly Short:_ I live in Hungary (see my bio page, it tells a lot about me) and my email is agivega phoenixsong . net (with no spaces, obviously, but I didn't want to risk ffnet deleting it). The whole fic contains 21 chapters.

_Rhauth_: exams will continue for a while :(((

_DarkFlower2113_: I'm glad I managed to sort of convince you that A/H could actually work...

_missy witch:_ I didn't take it as an insult, I just wanted to make sure you _knew_ I wasn't a native English speaker :)

_HollyShortgirl_: thank you for the five stars :)

_OnionEater:_ the publish date of the 'smutfic' doesn't depend on my beta, it's ready and betaed already, but I'm only going to publish it when I've finished uploading this fic here, as it is a direct 'one-shot sequel' to this fic. It would give away quite a bit if I uploaded it before I finished posting this one. And yes, both Arty and Holly will be quite ehm... clumsy at first, with no experience at all ;) But if you're too 'deprived' and can't wait till I publish my A/H smut, I advise you to read 'Cords of destiny' and its aside 'Sighs' by _I should by Studying_.

**Also thanks to**: _Cassy, Spooks-A-Lot, Lily Jane, Kellalor, septempopuli, LittleGreenPerson, HarriettaPotter, WackedOutPet13, vegetable, I should be Studying, APERFECTATTITUDE, Jessica-chan, p. nogard, Teya Yashitoda, Utena, Lady Emerald Black, Cherri J.M. Ookami, Aurum Potestas Est, Demosthenes and Locke, Dorinda, neutralgal, RaevanDawn, sabouki, almostinsane, kirby freak, furiousflame190113, Klayandria, Cassy, Indigo Ziona, Roxxy4Eva, mangafreak2273, PrincessBob, kaibygirl_

* * *

**Chapter 17**

**The greatest gift**

"Well, that _is_ pretty," Juliet remarked as she, Root, Mulch and Opal stumbled into the clearing on which the pyramid stood. "I'm not exactly a great admirer of architecture, but I definitely like this one."

"Bet you won't like it anymore when Fowl's brilliant plan fails and we all die in there," the pixie commented dryly.

"One's just gotta love your boundless optimism," Mulch said with a grin, slipping a 'friendly' arm around her.

Shaking his arm off, Opal gave him a withering stare that would have frozen an icicle. Mulch, however, was undeterred and kept sending her appreciating glances.

It was late in the afternoon and the elongated shadows painted intricate leaf-patterns on every stone of the pyramid. It was a downright romantic sight. It occurred to Mulch to point this out to Opal, but suddenly something else struck him.

"Just a thought," he spoke up, "if you enter this human dwelling, will you not lose your magic like I did?"

Root stopped in his tracks. "You're saying something there, convict."

"Yeah, I am." The dwarf smirked. "Funny how you forgot about this possibility… and even funnier that _Arty_ too forgot about it."

"I doubt he did," Koboi replied over her shoulder, not even glancing at Mulch.

"You mean… he set a trap for us?" Root gasped. "He knew we'd lose our power and he deliberately forgot to remind us?" At first anger surged up in him at the thought of Artemis's possible treason, then it was immediately replaced by shame. He felt ashamed - he should have thought of this before! He should have!

_Am I getting too old to think clearly?_ - he wondered, wishing he could disappear from the face of Earth, just to avoid the dwarf and the pixie's malicious smirks. Such humiliation!

"No." The pixie shook her blonde head. "Fowl wouldn't risk us losing our magic… especially _Short_ losing her magic… he likes her too much for that."

_Not that again_, Root sighed inwardly. It seemed that the two females on his team couldn't talk about anything else but Holly and Fowl's… relationship. Root found it more and more ridiculous every time it was mentioned.

"Then?" He turned to Opal. "If Fowl did not forget about the danger of losing our magic, then how…? What…?"

Miss Koboi rolled her eyes (which was a rather unpleasant thing with Foaly's special iris cams still in place) and took a deep breath, preparing to explain something to someone whose IQ was considerably below hers. "Obviously this pyramid can be observed as an empty building with no owner at all. Thus, if we happen to enter without invitation, we shall not lose a spark of our magic, since we aren't breaking and entering a human dwelling."

Julius tugged at his beard for a few seconds then nodded. "Sounds logical."

"Of course it does," Opal sighed. "Lucky that both teams have at least one member who can think logically."

"Was that supposed to be an insult?" Root knitted his greyish eyebrows.

"Insult? Noooo, a convict would never insult a commander… or a one-time commander," Mulch said with a lopsided smile. His eyes met Opal's and he was delighted to see an equally lopsided grin on her face. She was _smiling back_ at him.

"Of course," Root grunted. "Should the day come when you actually _mean_ that, let me know, and I'll be the first to come and polish your halo. But until then, start digging, Diggums!"

* * *

"Climb the Obsidian Mountain! Honestly!" huffed Artemis. "These Aztecs must've been joking!"

"Yeah, I tend to agree with you," Holly replied, desperately hanging onto a peg. One would think that climbing a mountain wouldn't be the hardest task imaginable, but normal mountains usually had ledges to set your foot on and projections you could grab with your hands. But this one did not.

"Couldn't they have made us climb one of those rickety mountains we had to pass between?" the young man kept complaining. He had started it at the very beginning of the mountaineering and hadn't stopped since, which meant about two hours of constant complaining. Holly was on the verge of climbing back to Artemis's level and giving him a punch to shut him up. However, she was glad enough to have climbed up to this point, and didn't feel any strength in herself to descend even a little bit just to punch an irritating Mud Man. "It would have been much easier," Artemis carried on in a whiny voice, "those ones at least had something to hold onto, even though it threatened to tumble onto your head. But no, they make us climb obsidian. And what is obsidian? Glass!"

"Is it, really?" Holly said in a sarcastic tone.

"Certainly it is. Dense, volcanic glass. This one happens to be rhyolite and is rich in iron and magnesium."

Holly heaved a deep sigh and decided not to comment. Mud Boy here was capable of giving lectures when they were playing cliffhanger. Oh joy.

With a last tug she reached the peg she had last shot into the smooth glass surface, and balancing on another peg, she shot the next one a metre above her head. For a moment she stopped, looking around. Had they been climbing an ordinary mountain then they would have had a lovely view from this altitude. However, this mountain existed in another dimension that was completely devoid of anything lovely. As far as the eye could see there were plains with not as much as a bush in sight, the soil parched by the sun's merciless rays. It was anything but pretty, and it definitely did not give the poor mountaineer an uplifting feeling. It rather made one lose heart.

Holly decided it was not the time for her to lose heart, so she turned her attention back to the peg she was supposed to reach next. Wiping her sweating forehead, she grabbed the next peg when a shadow swept over her, accompanied by a screeching sound. Holly instinctively twirled around, her left hand grabbing the peg, her right one automatically pointing her 'weapon' at the attacker.

"Just a vulture," Artemis's voice spoke up a few feet below. "And I doubt you could do anything against it with that thing."

Holly shrugged. Fowl was right, she couldn't have done anything against this ugly bird of prey with her peg-dispenser, because it wasn't designed for accurate aiming.

Suddenly she felt something highly disconcerting. The peg she was holding onto was giving way. It must have been dislodged by her sudden tug when she'd whirled around to see what had swooped above her head. "A…Artemis…?"

"What?"

"…catch meeee!"

"Wha…?" He didn't have time to finish the question, because in the next instant a Holly-shaped avalanche came down at him. With the same instinct he had tossed her out of the way of the stone-shower in the previous task, he grabbed her by the hand. "Holly! Hold on!"

"I'm trying…" she shouted back, "But don't you dare let go of me!"

"Your hand's all sweaty!"

"Oh is it? I'll apply baby-powder to it if we survive, shall I?"

Normally it was Artemis who made the sarcastic comments, but this time his mind couldn't come up with one, and perhaps it didn't even want to. Every single brain cell in his head was concentrating on holding the fairy and pulling her up where she could set foot on a peg. The problem was that Artemis happened to be standing on the only pegs around. Wishing Butler or Juliet were here to do the physical work, Artemis clenched his teeth and yanked Holly's tiny body up to his chest. "If we survive, I shall start working out with Juliet," he panted. "Or rather make a new version of Cliffhanger, me playing instead of Sly Stallone. How on earth did you fall?"

"The peg I was holding onto wasn't firmly embedded into the rock… er, glass, and it just gave way. And the one I was standing on wasn't enough to support me," she replied, equally panting and not having the slightest idea who Sly Stallone was. Perhaps she'd ask Foaly one day, he was a huge fan of Mud Man movies. "Thanks, Artemis."

"Any time… but rather not. Try not to fall in the future, and pay no attention to the vultures."

"Hah, easy to say," she sighed. "I don't know about you, but for me vultures symbolise death. They're here because they expect us to die."

"You know what? I don't think they are real vultures. What if they are just illusions to… disconcert the poor souls who happen to take on the mountain?"

"You actually _stopped_ complaining and started to give _me_ heart?" She smiled up at him in a slightly incredulous way, not minding at all that he was still holding her in his left arm, pressed to his chest. "What is this sudden conversion, Mr Fowl?"

"Must be the mountain air," he replied with a grin. "Or you're bringing out the best in me?"

She made an embarrassed grimace and carefully turned around to continue climbing.

_Could it be possible?_ - she wondered. Could she be indeed bringing out the best in Artemis Fowl? After all, he had begun to turn into a better person already during the Arctic Incident… had it been her influence? She shook her head. How could she think of such things? It had been the influence of the People. All of them together. Hadn't it? But then, after the mind-wipe, Fowl had turned back into the monster he had been when he'd kidnapped her… and yet, when she visited him in his manor to beg for his help, he began to change again - a positive change. Hadn't he left his comfortable castle to go underground and help her get her… _their_ son back? Hadn't he volunteered to subject himself to all dangers of the Mexican jungle to help her? Hadn't he killed a jaguar to save her life? Hadn't he let her see a glimpse of his true self? A glimpse that he very likely hadn't allowed anyone else?

She had to smile at this thought again. He had changed, and did it before her very eyes…

Some delightfully warm feeling filled her insides, giving her heart and strength to continue her way upward. She had been sweating and suffering from the climbing before, but now all the suffering was over. Her arms and legs felt stronger and her soul lighter than ever. As a playful gust of wind stroked her face, tousling her hair, she felt completely refreshed. Suddenly the plains around seemed pretty and the vultures were far from frightening creatures - they turned into mere birds that fancied a flight. The world was beautiful, and climbing the mountain itself seemed an achievable task. Just a stupid heap of volcanic glass that she and Artemis would conquer. Together.

* * *

"Pass through icy wind!" Artemis breathed about an hour later, wiping his face with the back of his hand. His knuckles got smeared with blood.

They were standing on the edge of a field where flags waved - just like Obsidian Snake had said they would. There seemed nothing dangerous about the flags, but after the first three tasks one would suspect them to have hidden fangs at least.

"When the chief mentioned the wind, I imagined it like the wind we had in the Arctic! It was bad, but this one…! These Aztecs must have had a really perverted sense for humour!"

"Stop complaining and sit down," Holly instructed him, suppressing a malicious smile that wanted to spread on her face. _Shame on me_, she scolded herself, feeling guilty about wanting to grin at the Mud Boy's state.

Barely had they reached the peak of the Obsidian Mountain when the scenery had changed: they had suddenly found themselves on an extremely windy plateau. The plateau stretched at least two kilometres long, and they had had to cross to its other end while wind tore at their bodies with an almighty force, cutting every inch of uncovered skin like a thousand knives. Holly had been lucky, since her magic automatically sealed her wounds, but Artemis had not been this fortunate. It seemed that she would have to heal his bruised face for the umpteenth time since they'd left Haven. Not that she minded too much…

"I'm not complaining, merely observing things," Artemis grunted as he dropped himself on a rock.

Placing her hands on his cheeks, Holly could no longer contain the evil smirk that had wanted to spread on her face for the last few minutes. After the short period of not complaining on the Obsidian Mountain, Artemis had fallen back on his usual way of 'observing things'. Well, old habits die hard… and after all, Holly decided, she couldn't expect him to change in every respect. If he changed in every respect, he would no longer be the same Artemis she'd fallen in love with.

"What?" Artemis asked, for she'd suddenly pulled her hands back, as though his cheeks had burnt her.

"N…nothing." She shook her head. However, it was far from nothing. Her heart was beating so fast and loud that she thought it wanted to jump out of her chest. She had been frightened. Frightened - by her own thoughts. Frightened by the truth. She had, of course, long known that she felt something special for him, and in her subconscious she had already known it to be love, but so far it had not entered her consciousness. She had sensed it, she had revelled in the warmth of this unaccustomed feeling, yet she hadn't 'voiced' it inside her mind… she hadn't given her feelings a name. Now they had a name. A beautiful but scary name.

"It's _not_ nothing," Artemis said with a concerned expression. "You look like someone who's just seen a ghost."

"No, no ghost." Holly smiled and placed her palms on his cheeks again. Magic flowed from her fingertips, sealing the scratches all over his face, returning his skin to its normal, flawless state. Not a single scar would remain.

"Are you sure?" he asked, covering her tiny hands with his elegant, long-fingered ones. Despite the dozens of cuts covering them, his hands were still like those of a pianist. Dirtier, rougher, but they closed around Holly's with as much tenderness as a pianist would touch the keys when the script over the music notes says _pianissimo_. "Are you sure everything's all right?"

"Yes, I am," she replied, her magic targeting the cuts on his hands this time. "You're healed." She pulled her hands out of his and stepped back from him. As she did so, she couldn't help feeling that she had been robbed of something. She could have stayed there forever, feeling the warmth of his palms around her slim fingers… but time was running out.

"Come on, Mud Boy, let's have a look at those horrible flags."

* * *

"Miss Frazetti! We've found something!" One of the female mobster's metal men ran towards her with a weird object in his hands.

They were currently in the narrow valley between the two crumbling mountains. It had taken them quite a while to cross the chasm of the first task, and one of Carla's men had died in the process - he had fallen into the abyss and got crushed on the sharp-edged white rocks. In the valley of the second task two of her men had been seriously injured by a stone avalanche, but Carla did not have a scratch on her milky skin. Her partner in crime, Quartz Quench was equally intact.

"Don't shout, you fool," the woman hissed at her metal man. "Any loud noise could start a new avalanche!"

The muscled man bowed slightly, his face the epitome of guilt. "Sorry, Miss Frazetti. Look what we've found."

Carla took the object from him, twirling it in her hands to examine it from each side. It was yellowish-green, and made of a material she could not recognise. It seemed to be metal, but it was unusually light for metal. It must have been some electronic gadget; she had no doubt of that. Some highly developed technology. She had never seen anything of the sort. Could it be alien-made? After all, little green people were said to love dropping their things in deserted canyons and all sorts of places where humans didn't turn up too often. However, Carla had a feeling that this valley did not exist in the real world; and what Martian would have been stupid enough to enter an Aztec pyramid just to leave his things around?

Quartz Quench stepped to her, followed by a rather morose Patrick, who was flanked by Fern and Reed.

"What happened, Miss Frazetti?" asked Quartz.

"My men found this weird gadget. Looks like wings… crushed wings," she replied, showing him the object.

Quench stiffened and so did his guards, while Patrick let out a gasp.

"Does the boy know what this is?" Carla turned to the masked man.

"What makes you think he knows what this is?" Quartz tried to sound politely confused.

"He gasped," the woman pointed out.

"Asthma. Sometimes he suffers from it, don't you, boy?" Quench looked at Patrick, his eyes flashing in a peremptory way.

Patrick toyed with the thought of saying 'I've never had asthma you idiot'. He could have said it - after all, his captor had not given him a direct order, he had just asked him a question. However, he thought better of irritating the crazy millionaire. Not that he was afraid of any bodily harm if he talked back - Quench needed him alive and healthy for the time being. Patrick was no ordinary boy - he knew an unusually lot about the Mud People's history for someone who grew up underground, and he was aware what Aztec pyramids were usually used for: human sacrifices. As soon as they had entered the pyramid, some magic had placed them into another dimension, forcing them to fulfil tasks. Patrick was sure that as soon as they had fulfilled all the tasks, they would be transported back into the real world, and they would be able to continue their way inside the pyramid, into the sacrificial chamber. He expected at least another three-four tasks to occur before they reached there, and Quench would not harm him until then. On the other hand, even if he knew he could have talked back without any personal risk, he no longer felt like doing so. His heart had been filled with hope and joy to the brim, leaving no place for pitiful revenge such as humiliating his kidnapper before the Mud Woman. He did not care for Quench, nor Frazetti… the only thing he could think of was _hope_.

The LEP was here.

They had arrived before Frazetti's gang.

Perhaps even his mother was among the rescuers!

Patrick couldn't help but grin and nod. Let Carla think his IQ had suddenly dropped a few dozen points. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered.

"Stop grinning!" Quartz barked at the boy, and he obediently wiped the smirk off his face, but couldn't stop rejoicing inside. Someone in the LEP had been clever enough to find out where Quench had taken him… He wondered who this particularly clever person could have been…

There was certainly a darker side of the situation as well: now Quench knew that the People were here, so there could not be a surprise ambush from the People's side. However, Quench could not tell Frazetti to look out for possibly attacking fairies, or the woman would think he'd gone mad; and Quench alone certainly was not witty enough to devise a plan to catch a whole troop of armed fairies. Young Short seriously hoped that whoever was the mastermind of the LEP rescue group, had long come up with a plan to do away with the enemy.

* * *

"This silence is highly suspicious," Artemis voiced his opinion as he and Holly walked towards the first few flags. They couldn't even have avoided going near any of them, since the flags stood a couple of feet from each other. The area covered with them was fairly small, and that was something Artemis found disconcerting too. These flags must have been very dangerous if the Aztec priests had thought that crossing this small area would contain enough dangers for a task.

"Uh-huh," Holly replied, eyeing the flags with a dubious expression. "Wonder what they do to you?"

"We might have to wrestle them or something… pity Juliet isn't here, how she'd love to tell Butler stories about having wrestled a hundred ferocious flagpoles…"

Holly made an amused grimace. "What if this place isn't dangerous at all? What if it's only here for… decoration? These flags look lovely, after all. All colours of the rainbow. What if they are here to give the traveller heart after having completed three dangerous tasks? To give them heart for the next four?"

"I doubt that," the young man said. "But we'll see." With that he snatched a tiny rock off the ground and hurled it between the first two flags. The second the stone reached the imaginary line between the two foremost poles, the mottled flags lashed out like two arms and caught the stone in mid-air, winding their material tight around the unfortunate stone.

"Well, they are definitely not harmless…"

"No." Holly shook her head, her eyes wide. Those flimsy pieces of cloth were practically strangling the stone Artemis had chucked at them. Had the stone been a living being, it would have suffocated by now. "Do you have an idea how to get past these without getting throttled?"

"We could try and crawl on the ground…" Artemis mused. "But our packages aren't flat enough. Even if the flags aren't long enough to reach our bodies if we crawled on the ground, they would surely reach our bags."

"Even if we pushed the bags in front of ourselves?" Holly wondered.

"I think so. These rucksacks are at least fifty centimetres high, even if they are laid down. There's no way the flags' ends wouldn't reach them, and we don't want to lose our bags with all the weapons and the nourishment, do we?"

"No, we don't," she sighed. "Then? Any big ideas, Mr Genius?"

"I think I have one." Artemis nodded and bent down for another stone and threw it towards the two flags that were already strangling the previous one. The stone swished through the gap between the flags, intact, only to get caught by the next flag right behind the first two.

"What was that for?" Holly frowned.

A superior smile appeared on the Irishman's face. "The flags that are already 'occupied', don't go for another victim. Let's just hope there are enough stones here to satisfy all the flags, and then we can pass safe and sound. What do you think?"

Instead of replying, Holly crouched down for a few smaller pieces of rock and began hurling them at the closest unoccupied flags. In a matter of minutes the first five rows of flags were all engaged in the attempt of stone-throttling, and, their arms packed with new stones, the fairy and the Mud Man could enter the 'minefield' to target flags in the next four-five rows.

In twenty minutes they had worked their way across the field, panting and sweating, but proud and elated.

"I've grown quite fond of this throwing business," Artemis said with a grin. "I might take up discus throwing or hammer throwing when we get home…"

"Now hammer throwing too? Just a few hours ago you were swearing you'd start working out with Juliet… won't it be too much for your… um, fragile body?" Holly asked with an innocent expression.

"I'm in too good a mood to answer that the way I normally would. So I will not," he replied aloofly.

The commander gave him a half smile then her features turned serious. "Say, if Frazetti and Quench get here, will they be able to walk through like we did? After all, we made the way free for anyone who happens to come this way… not to mention that they will immediately know that someone's a step ahead of them."

"They know that already," Artemis said quietly, sitting down on a patch of grass to rest a bit.

"They know that already?" She knitted her eyebrows.

"Obviously. You dropped your Koboi DoubleDex and they are likely to find it."

"D'Arvit!" Holly breathed. "I should have had more sense than to leave it lying around!" She dropped herself on the ground next to him and buried her face into her hands, swearing under her breath for a while. Suddenly she looked up, her eyes sending fire-bolts at Artemis. "And you! You're supposed to be the d'Arvitting mastermind here, and you didn't care to tell me to bury those wings under a heap of stones or something!"

"I deliberately did not tell you," he said impassively, fishing for his flask in his rucksack and taking a gulp.

"Deliberately?" Holly hissed, her hands clenched into fists. Just an hour earlier she had decided she loved him, but now she felt she could throttle him with her bare hands.

"Yes," Artemis answered, shoving his flask back into his bag and beginning to examine his fingernails. They were in a bad shape. Never been dirtier.

"Explain yourself," she demanded, willing her voice to be cold.

"Well, they should have found out about us being in the pyramid sooner or later, it doesn't really matter when they find out." He shrugged. "And this way, Patrick can put two and two together… I doubt Quench can hide those wings from the rest of the group in that valley… and if the boy knows that fairies are here, he knows there's hope. It gives him heart and strength to hold out. Psychology, Holly dear."

"I'm not _Holly dear_ to you," she muttered as she stood up, knowing that she had sounded very unconvincing. She was feeling all fluttery about Artemis having called her 'dear' and her excitement was recognisable in her voice.

However, Artemis, being the gentleman, pretended not to have noticed it.

"You know," he rose to his feet and started walking away from the flag-covered area, "I'm not happy about having made the way free for Quench, but…"

His words were interrupted by a mini-earthquake and a loud THUD.

Both he and Holly turned around to see that the flags had, all at once, released the stones and that dropping to the ground caused the surroundings to shudder.

"See, Quench will have to fight his way through this, after all," Artemis pointed out, a smug smile on his face, as though it had been him who'd arranged for the flags to release their 'victims'.

Smug smile or not, Holly no longer felt like throttling him.

* * *

"Couldn't you dig quicker?" Root demanded from Mulch. As an answer, the dwarf covered him with a soggy earth-missile from his backside - not for the first, and not for the last time during their little digging project.

Mulch needed to make an underground tunnel viable for the rest of the team as well, thus he had to do it with greater care than he usually did when he was on his own. Thanks to his super-fast digestion, Root, Opal and Juliet all had received a few freshly recycled lumps of mud, despite the collapsible LEP shields with which they had tried to defend themselves against Mulch's missiles.

"Honestly, Julius," the dwarf turned around, his voice full of childish defiance, "I'm doing my best here, but I can't go as fast as I'd like to, for two reasons. First, the ground is extremely moist, so fairly difficult to move because it sticks onto my hands and between my teeth, not to mention it gives me a constant feeling of having diarrhoea, which never happens with normal soil or clay. Second, I'm trying to make a tunnel that doesn't collapse right behind me so that you three can move forward in it, too. Therefore I would highly appreciate it if you just shut up and let the master carry on with his work."

"The master, of cooourse," Opal said in a mocking voice, trying to remove a sticky clod of mud from her blonde locks, but she had to realise that she was fighting a losing battle. And after all, who could see her like this? True, the Butler girl was holding a torch (one that they had had to light with matches - oh the horror!), but it didn't provide enough light for anyone to see how utterly dirty she was. Well, perhaps _Diggums_ could see her (dwarves' eyes had evolved over the millennia in a way to enable them to see in the dark), but why should she care what that boorish male thought of her appearance? Problem was that Opal caught herself _caring_ about Mulch's opinion. "If you were a real master, you would be able to dump your… recyclings in a way to spare us from getting covered with it from head to toe!"

"I am doing this in the most careful way already, sweetheart," Mulch told her over his shoulder. "Consider yourself lucky that you're not following me during an ordinary tunnelling, or you'd be really covered with recycled earth from head to toe. However, as far as I see, you only have one small clod of mud stuck in your hair. Don't worry, you're still damn pretty."

Opal opened her mouth to snap at him, but found that she could not come up with an insult. _He had called her damn pretty_… In his own rude way, Diggums was a real gentleman.

Opal ran her fingers across her hair. "Ehm… really?"

"Really-really." Mulch grinned at her - at least she thought he was grinning, but she couldn't be sure in the dim light of the torch.

"Sorry to interrupt this idyllic moment… but get back to digging this instant, convict!" Root barked at the dwarf.

Mulch shook his head and sent the pixie a last smile. "Not exactly tactful, is he?"

"No, he isn't," replied Opal, giving the one-time commander a withering glance that she had only reserved for Diggums before.

Root looked at Juliet, hoping for a few supportive words, but she didn't seem in any condition for supporting him - she was wearing the widest smirk he'd ever seen.

"Good that at least someone's enjoying themselves," Root grunted, following the dwarf and his 'lady' down the tunnel.

* * *

A few seconds after the flags had released their captive stones, the scenery changed again. Artemis and Holly were standing on a rock, overlooking a canyon. This time the task was not about crossing a deep chasm, because the canyon was fairly shallow - a mere three metres deep. The task was not even about climbing into and out of the canyon, since there were several stone ledges on both sides, arranged neatly above each other - one couldn't have wished for a better row of steps.

"Looks too easy," Holly perceived. "Unusually quiet, too."

"As far as I remember from what Obsidian Snake said, we are supposed to be pierced by arrows here," Artemis replied. "But I can't see a single archer around…"

"Perhaps they are motion-sensitive arrows," Holly mused. "Like when you step on a hidden stone and it starts a chain reaction, cuts the string that bends a bow, and…"

"Sidney Fox could surely tell us tales about this," Artemis commented, fishing a collapsible LEP shield out of his rucksack. Too bad it was made for fairy-sized creatures…

Seeing what he had pulled out of his bag, Holly followed suit.

"Ladies first," Artemis motioned to her with a sly smile.

"And then the ladies are the first to get shot," the elf said dryly. "All right, I promised Juliet to take care of you, so I will not be sending you into the firing line first. I am, after all, brave, not like some."

"I did not take that as an insult," Artemis replied as Holly tentatively placed her right foot on the first stone 'step'. In that instant the canyon filled with whooshing things, like a huge flock of birds.

"What the…?" Holly breathed after having jumped back into the safety of the rock above.

Artemis felt like remarking 'who's brave now, dear commander?', but decided to leave the teasing to another opportunity. "Arrows, obviously. Thousands of them. They must be magically propelled, because there cannot be a thousand archers hiding in the canyon, and I doubt that the Aztec priests took the time to fix strings to, and set up a motion-sensitive firing mechanism for, this many arrows."

"This is incredible," she muttered, her eyes wide with awe. "There are so many of them that… that…"

"…they almost completely block out the sun," Artemis finished her sentence. "I'm beginning to feel like Leonidas."

"Who?"

"Spartan king who fought the Persians in the pass of Thermopylae. The Persians' arrows came down on the Spartans so heavily that they blocked out the sun. And all Leonidas said was 'good, then we'll be fighting in the shade.'"

"Must've been a weird man. What happened to him?"

"He died, along with all his warriors. There is a monument raised to Leonidas' memory at Thermopylae and a plaque with the legend 'Go tell the Spartans, you who read; we took their orders, and are dead.' In Greek, of course. Nowadays tourists visit the place and snap photos of the plaque, reminiscing about the good old times. Leonidas, after all, managed to hold back the Persians for a while, so he and his soldiers are remembered as heroes."

"Well, we will _not_ be remembered as heroes if we die here," she pointed out.

"No, we will not," he agreed. "One possibility remains for us, Commander."

"Let me guess, wait till the arrow-shower ceases?" Holly asked, expecting it to be the 'logical but cowardly' idea Artemis would normally come up with.

"No. Run through it."

Holly's jaw fell, but she quickly pulled herself together. "Wow, Mud Boy. And say, if we survive this, will you take up archery as well, to go with gymnastics and discus- and hammer throwing?"

"I will not, because I need not. I am an archer already, remember?" the young man said with a smirk.

"Ah, Artemis the hunter…" She fought down the urge to roll her eyes and focused her attention on the stream of arrows before them. Luckily all of them were coming from one direction, so if she hid behind her shield, she could make it without a scratch. This, however, did not stand for Artemis, whose legs would at least partly be poking out from behind his shield, even if he crouched down.

Seeing her concerned expression, he bent down and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Hey, it's going to be okay. You can get through easily, and if I get shot, you can heal me. You still have lots of magic left, don't you?"

"Yeah, I do," Holly admitted. She wanted to add 'I still don't like the idea of you getting shot', but decided that it would only make her seem weak. "Let's go, then," she said resolutely, and jumped into the sea of arrows.

* * *

"You look happy," Carla remarked. She had deliberately fallen a bit behind to talk to the peculiar child Quench had brought with himself into the jungle. Quench happened to be climbing the Obsidian Mountain with a few metal men ahead, leaving it to his guards to help Patrick struggle upwards.

"Do I?" the boy said indifferently, balancing on a peg.

"Yes, you definitely do." Carla nodded. "And I was wondering: why?"

"I bet that is not the only thing you've been wondering about me," young Short replied, glancing at the woman who was holding onto a peg right next to him. Her face radiated no malice, no greed this time, only curiosity.

"Who are you?" she asked plainly.

"Not Quench's nephew, if that's what you wanted to know."

"I assumed that much," Carla said with an almost-smile. She couldn't have explained it to herself, but something in this boy intrigued her. The boy was clever, unnaturally so, but she regarded herself as a clever woman too. The boy was cynical - so was she. The boy was cold, just like her. And now the boy looked happy about something - and it was almost scary. Her godfather Spatz Antonelli had often told her how scary she was when she looked happy. This boy was too much like her… Even without knowing him, she had grown almost fond of him. Almost.

"Who are you really?" she repeated.

"The son of a mother whose son has been kidnapped from her and who is grieving after him now. Also, son of a father who does not know he has a son."

Carla furrowed her brow then her mouth tucked into a tiny smile. "Somehow, I expected a vague answer like that… So, your mother is grieving after you. That must make you sad. Then, what makes you happy?"

"The thought that at least my father does not grieve after me," Patrick said flatly. He decided that Miss Frazetti must be an extraordinary woman, as she seemed downright amused by his phlegmatic responses, while others would long have lost their temper. He had that effect on most people.

"And does it grieve _you_ that your father does not know you?" she asked, reaching for the next peg.

"No, madam," Patrick answered, suddenly realising that they had been standing at the same height for minutes while everyone had reached the top of the mountain already (except for Reed and Fern who were lagging behind to stop him from escaping or falling).

The female mobster arched an eyebrow at him with an expression that carried the silent message 'who are you trying to fool, sonny?'

_I'm not trying to fool myself!_ The boy thought defiantly and pushed himself up to the next foothold. _I don't need a father! Especially not a Mud Man!_ Suddenly a wave of guilt washed over him. His favourite childhood book came to his mind. There had been magic and non-magic people in it, and most of the magic ones thought of the non-magic ones as filth that needed to be wiped out. Patrick had known a lot about Mud Man history at a very young age and he had been able to see the parallel between Hitler and the pureblood wizards in that book. They and their racial theories were a shame. A shame, just like the fairies' natural loathing for humans.

_It should be different_, Patrick thought bitterly. _Then I wouldn't need to feel ashamed of my parentage. I **must not** feel ashamed about it! No matter what sort of person this Artemis Fowl is, no matter that he was a criminal, he is my father. I wish I knew him… I wish he knew me._

* * *

Wincing, Artemis dropped his handheld LEP shield and stumbled to the first ledge on the other side of the canyon. It had been a suicidal run, but they had survived, and the elf girl had reached the safety of the ledges intact. Artemis had been right in predicting that the shield would perfectly protect her, and she had been right in predicting that it would be too small for him. Now Artemis was sporting an arrow on his right upper thigh.

"Are you all right?" she asked worriedly, knowing that she would have to play the surgeon once again.

"Yeah, just peachy," he replied through gritted teeth and collapsed onto the ledge. That instant the stream of arrows in the canyon stopped, and not a single one remained on the ground - the only arrow that had not vanished was the one poking out of the young genius' thigh.

"I was lucky, I think," he carried on with a forced smile. "This arrow could as easily have hit a major artery and I doubt even you could have stopped me from bleeding to death… not to mention that if this had hit me just three inches to the left, I wouldn't be fathering any children in the future."

Holly couldn't suppress a grin. To hide her amusement, she bent down to examine his wound. The right leg of his Armani trousers was now torn in two places: from knee down Holly had torn it to get a better hold of his broken shin, and now the arrow had made another rip near the crotch. No doubt, not even Foaly could put this pair of trousers right again.

"Do you really want children?" she asked, just to keep him talking while she found out how to get the arrow out of his leg without causing too much damage.

"Well…" Artemis's voice sounded hesitant. "That's a weird question. Just two weeks ago I would have said 'of course, I want a son who carries the name Fowl, and I don't even really care who gives birth to him, as long as she doesn't look like a hag and has an IQ over 120.' But now… it's different. Everything's different."

Holly felt his gaze upon her, so she looked up. There was a mysterious fire blazing in his enigmatic blue eyes. A fire that should have frightened her, but to her surprise she felt it rather gave her warmth. "What's different, Artemis?" she whispered.

He smiled at her gently, as though he had forgotten about the arrow sticking out of his thigh. "Now I wouldn't mind having a dozen kids… and I would definitely care whom I choose as their mother. I would only choose someone I love."

"And… do you love anyone, Artemis?"

He heaved a sigh. "I don't know if I'm capable of loving… Perhaps I am, but… I don't know whether I'll be able to recognise love when I feel it. I've never loved anyone that way, and you know… I've always had a problem with emotions. They are too much against the rules of logic. But I hope that some day… some day I will be able to feel that way for someone, and not mistake it for lust."

"I'm sure you will," she said quietly and gave him a would-be-encouraging smile just as she yanked the arrow out of his leg.

"Ouch! You could have warned me in advance!" he hissed. "And you could have given me your torch again - I could have bitten my tongue off!"

"Not likely. The arrow wasn't completely embedded into your flesh, so it was fairly easy to remove, and not nearly as painful as snapping bones back into their place."

"Why, of course, not painful at all," he wheezed.

"Be a man, Artemis, and stop complaining. I'm trying to heal you."

He gave her a defiant pout and looked away like a sulky child. What was this LEP chick thinking of herself, questioning his virility? He was _not_ behaving like some sissy; he was being as manly as possible, thank you very much! At one moment she is expecting him to go all mushy and talk to her about romantic matters, the next moment she is expecting him to switch back to the macho 'I-can-bear-all-the-pain' sort of behaviour. Now, honestly! Never in his life had he met such a controversial figure! Yet, never in his life had anyone made him feel so many different things at once: anger, gratitude, confusion, an urge to shout at her, and urge to kiss her…

_Now, wait a minute! Kiss her?_

Heavens, no! Of course not! Artemis Fowl and desire?

Well… he had to admit that desire was not unknown to him: he had felt it for her by the lake. Luckily he had been able to hide it then… He was not so lucky this time.

Holly had placed her warm right hand on his wound. Magic gently pulsed around the wound, penetrating his flesh, rejuvenating the cells, sending tremors down his leg and shivers up his body. Her hand shifted slightly, giving him the sensation of being caressed… Caressed so very near to his most private body part…

Still stubbornly staring away from her, Artemis felt blood running into his face, just as it had run into his nether regions.

He felt her gaze on himself and knew that she wouldn't look away unless he screwed up his courage and returned her glance. "S…sorry." He bit into his lower lip, his eyes locking with hers for a second then hastily looking away again. "Involuntary reflex."

"I know," she replied, her voice sounding sad for some reason.

He couldn't have told why she was sad, even if his life depended on it.

She drew her hand back, and the rip in his trousers revealed flawless skin. Had the rim of the rip not been stained with blood, one would never suspect that there had been a wound.

"Try to cool down, Mud Boy, and tell me when we can proceed," she said, standing up and climbing to the topmost ledge, facing away from the man who was desperately racking his brains, trying to figure what had got into her. Surely the sight of a fabric-covered arousal couldn't be that much of a shock?

It had not been. To some extent Holly was even excited about it - she knew she should be happy and proud that her touch had had such an effect on him, but her grief was bigger than her happiness.

_I hope that some day… some day I will be able to feel that way for someone, and not mistake it for lust._

He was _not_ capable of loving. All he felt for her was apparently lust. And lust was something that any female's touch could have induced. A man could lust after several females at once. It was in their nature.

Someone's love was something wholly different. It was reserved for one person only. Not just anyone - only The One. And Artemis had said he wasn't sure he'd ever feel that for someone.

_But why do I care?_ Holly thought angrily, kicking a nearby stone. _What if I love him? He'd never love me back! And even if he did, what good would it do us? If we survive this mission and save Patrick, I'll go back to being an LEP commander, and he'll go back to Fowl Manor! We could never be a couple! We're too different! Our worlds are too different! He's a forbidden fruit!_ Yet she couldn't help longing to pick that forbidden fruit and take a bite. _And what for? To get expelled from 'paradise'? To be forced to leave my people? To leave my son? The LEP? I'm not Eve of the Bible, thank you very much! Neither d'Arvitting Juliet Capulet! And Artemis is not bloody Romeo! This is not a tragic love story! This is a pathetic pulp-fiction with a stupid heroine drooling over a male whose only love is himself and perhaps money-making! I don't want to be a drooling heroine! I want my old life back! I want to be nothing but a mother and a LEPRecon commander! _But she knew it was too much to wish for. Her 'old life' had ended the day Artemis Fowl the Second had kidnapped her. And he had not only captured her, but her heart as well.

"You okay?" Artemis's voice called from behind, shaking Holly back to reality.

"Yes. I've been just… thinking," she replied. "Ready for the human heart-eating beasts, Mr Fowl?"

"I don't think one could ever be ready for those, but we've got Neutrinos that hopefully work here. Should be no problem."

Holly nodded, pulling her weapon out of its holster. "Should be no problem. And after all, I have nothing to fear. They eat _human_ hearts, and I'm a fairy."

"Choosy little beasts, huh? Tell them that you're a fairy when they mistake you for a five-year-old human girl," Artemis replied with a lopsided grin.

"So you think I _could be_ mistaken for a Mud child?" Holly spat indignantly.

"Well, if someone sees your pointy ears and takes a closer look at your breasts, then they won't think you're a human five-year-old… The first time I saw you, I immediately knew you were no child with your voluptuous figure…"

"One more word and you definitely will not be fathering any children, Fowl!" She hissed, pointing her Neutrino slightly below his waistline.

"I'd rather you pointed that thing at them…" He gestured with his own Neutrino towards something behind Holly's back.

She slowly turned around to be faced with seven red-eyed, slobbering jaguars. They looked considerably bigger and hungrier than the one Artemis had shot.

"Jaguars. Brilliant." The elf sighed. "That's your area of expertise, Fowl."

Shrugging, Artemis began firing.

Two minutes later seven stunned jaguars were dozing on the grass.

"The easiest task so far," Holly remarked.

"Easy - for us. But remember that this series of tasks was made up five hundred years ago and the Aztecs did not know that Neutrinos could shoot five laser beams per second. They only knew that the evil white intruders' guns could shoot about two bullets per minute if they reloaded them quick enough. They knew it would not be quick enough if an intruder with a sixteenth century gun tried to take on seven beasts at once. But you're right, it was too easy… perhaps to throw us off guard."

"You mean the next task will be tougher?"

"I bet it will be the toughest," he commented, walking past the last snoring jaguar.

As soon as the beasts' snoring died, the scenery changed for the umpteenth time. The duo was standing on the edge of the world - at least it seemed so to them. There was one narrow path of stone that led from there, disappearing into the distance. There wasn't anything else around - they could not see a chasm under the path, so it could not function as a bridge; they could not see fields on either side of the path, so it wasn't like a countryside road… it simply led through emptiness.

"Seems like an endless way," Holly said quietly. "What if it does not end anywhere?"

"I'm sure it does, but we have to do something for it to end."

"But what?"

"There's only one way to find out," he replied and stepped onto the path.

"Welcome in Nowhere," a whispering, yet loud voice greeted them.

Holly and Artemis looked around to spot the speaker, but it was a disembodied voice, coming from the thin air. It was not speaking in Aztec, because Artemis could understand it, even though he had removed the translator from his ear after they had left the village. He suspected that the voice spoke a language that every possible visitor of Second Tenochtitlan understood. How could it be possible? Magic, no doubt.

"Well, hello," the Irishman returned the greeting. "Can you tell us where this path leads and when it ends?"

"That wholly depends on you two," the enigmatic voice replied. "But keep walking, visitors, don't stop!"

"What do we have to do to reach the end of the way?" Holly enquired.

"You have to think," the voice responded.

"Jolly good. Do we have to solve a riddle?" Artemis guessed. Finally a task tailored to _his_ abilities!

"No," came the cold answer. "You have to think of yourselves."

"That will be easy for you," Holly remarked, sending her companion a slightly cynical smirk.

"Are you suggesting that I'm self-centred?" Artemis asked indignantly.

"Noooo, why would I?" Her expression changed to angelic-innocent.

"If you have finished bantering, may I continue?" The voice sounded somewhat irritable.

"Yeah, of course," the young genius and the fairy said in unison.

The voice cleared its invisible throat. "Hem-hem. As I said before, you have to think about yourselves, sorting out your positive and negative characteristics. You will find several good and bad traits, talents and weaknesses, but like everyone, you will find more of the positive things than of the bad. Start collecting your list, and when you have finished, I shall know and give you further instructions."

Artemis and Holly exchanged a bemused look. Neither of them had the vaguest idea what this task could be about…

Artemis motioned to Holly to walk in front of him, since the path was too narrow for them to walk side by side.

The elf did not mind taking the lead. Actually it felt refreshing, walking ahead and not having to stare at Fowl's back all the time. She hoped that she could take her mind off him if he happened to be walking behind her.

_Who are you fooling, girl?_ She thought bitterly. _You love him! I love him… but I have to think of other things now! Not about him, but myself! But how hard it is to think of myself when he's walking right behind me! Okay, okay, so **myself**… What are my bad traits? Hot-headedness, being overemotional, a disregard for rules, an unhealthy love for teasing Artemis, unholy yearnings for Artemis… d'Arvit, I'm thinking of him again! All right, all right, **my** good traits. I'm brave. Relentless when pursuing criminals. Devoted to my job, to the LEP… but it **did** occur to me to leave them, even only for a few seconds… my devotion isn't strong enough! If I let my feelings for a Mud Man overwhelm me, pushing my love for my job into the background, then I'm a bad commander… not to mention an inattentive, horrible mother. Had I paid better attention to Patrick, he wouldn't have been kidnapped, and… and I'm definitely going mad if I continue dwelling on it!_ She shook her head to clear her mind of the disturbing thoughts - if only it had been so easy to get rid of them! _Think of your talents, then!_ She ordered herself. _Well… targeting, for sure… I am the best bloody shooter in LEPRecon… The same stands for piloting. What else? Healing… I am a natural talent in healing. My weaknesses? Hmm… I definitely can't sing._

Artemis kept walking behind the commander, deep in thought. He found the voice's instruction quite ridiculous. Why should he make a list of positive and negative characteristics? What did this stupid voice have to do with his strengths and weaknesses?

_Oh, well, if this thing can read my thoughts, then it already knows that I haven't yet made my list. So… good traits. Let's see… I'm… clever? That's rather a talent, not a good trait. Sly? That can be both a good and a bad trait, depending on the situation. I never thought it would be so hard to collect my good traits! Let's do the bad ones, then. I'm egoistical. Not always, but more often than not. When I'm not, then it's usually Holly's influence. What else? Stuck-up. At least most of the time. But with Holly around I feel less conceited. Somehow she has that effect on me… she makes me feel more… normal. Not special, not outstanding… normal. And it is most intriguing that I **don't mind** feeling average… perhaps because I know I don't need to prove anything to her, she knows me too much already. I don't need to be the cold, aloof Artemis around her… she likes me when I'm softer, weaker, too. Other bad traits? I'm calculating. At least… when Holly's not around. Whenever she's near, I feel ashamed of being calculating. What else? Cowardice? Nah. Sometimes. But when Holly's near… _He allowed himself a smile. The tiny figure marching in front of him had surely no idea that she had at least partly changed him, to the better. She had no idea what Artemis himself had only just realised: that he'd become a better man because of her. _For_ her. Had he told it to her, then, coming from a peculiar person like Artemis, it would have been nothing short of a love-declaration. 

_What about my talents and weaknesses?_ He carried on, feeling annoyed that the 'voice' could read his thoughts. To his own surprise it was not his bad traits that he would have liked to hide from the eavesdropper, but his thoughts about one Commander Short. _Weaknesses, talents… I'm definitely bad at physical activities, while I'm good at arts, music, and absolutely everything that needs brains._

"I believe both of you have managed to make the required list," the voice spoke up all of a sudden.

"I suppose I have." Holly turned around. "You too, Fowl?"

The young man nodded. "But I still don't understand, what was this good for?"

"It was good for getting to know yourselves better," the voice replied. "Because, for what I will ask of you now, you will need to have a clear self-image… otherwise you wouldn't be able to decide."

"Decide? What?" Holly frowned. Something deep in her heart told her that the worst task was just coming up. She did not like the voice. She had found it creepy when it had first spoken, but now she felt downright loathing for it.

"You will decide a sacrifice," came the chilly answer.

Holly's eyes narrowed. She had learned to hate the word 'sacrifice'.

"What sort of sacrifice?" Artemis demanded.

The voice again cleared its throat to signal the importance of his following words. "One of you, and I don't care which one, has to give up one of their talents. You have just assessed your traits; you know whether you are brave or generous enough to make this sacrifice. You decide which one of you gives up something… but be warned that I do not accept minor sacrifices. I want your greatest gift. I know what it is, in both of your cases. Decide. You have as much time as you wish. If it takes you days to come to a decision, then you will walk this path for days. If years, then years. You can grow old and die here, too. As long as one of you doesn't offer me their greatest gift, the path will not end. In your own interest, be quick."

Elf and human stared at each other for a minute without uttering a single word. Artemis could see the struggle in Holly's eyes and hoped that he could better hide his.

"I… I could give up my magic," she muttered, but she was aware that she sounded very unconvincing.

Artemis crouched down to be at eye level with her and shook his head. "You can't."

"But… but that's my greatest gift," she protested, her voice slightly stronger now.

"Yes, and it's a gift we might need in the pyramid if it comes to fighting," he reasoned. "Even if we can execute Plan A, the possibility of a bad scrap cannot be excluded. Your healing could be vital, Holly."

"But Root… and Koboi… they have healing powers too!" she snapped, her usual, fiery self resurfacing.

"But what if they don't make it here? What if they are already… dead?"

"They are not!" she shouted, almost begging him to say 'of course they are not'.

"I too hope they're safe, but we have no connection with them, so we cannot be sure." Artemis's voice was calm, too calm. The calmness of a man who had already made his decision. "Listen to me, Holly. Your magic could save lives…"

"…so can your intelligence!" She stamped her foot, knowing well what _his_ greatest gift was.

"True." He nodded. "But you know the required parts of the plan, and I will not forget them, even if my IQ drops a few dozen points. I shall be _average_, not mentally retarded."

Holly shook her head, tears welling up in her eyes. "I can't let you do that, Artemis!" She grabbed his hand.

"You have to." He squeezed her hands back. "We have to decide what our priorities are, sweetest. I will still be able to think logically, even though no longer brilliantly; but without your magic we could die. Think Holly, think… and trust me. I know what I'm doing."

She nodded hesitantly. It hadn't even sunk in that he'd called her 'sweetest'.

"Good girl. And now give me a brave smile."

She gave it to him, and not only that. Before he could have pulled back, she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his.

It only lasted for a second, but it was enough to fill Artemis with some unknown energy. Had a lightning run though him, it wouldn't have electrified him more.

He jumped to his feet, the very air vibrating around him. "You heard it, Voice, we've made our decision! Accept my sacrifice!"

"So be it," the voice whispered, and a sudden gust of wind swept both Artemis and Holly off their feet, then darkness fell, covering them like a soft and heavy blanket.

* * *

**A/N2:** I know, you hate me now. Sorry, I'm evil. To those who have read my fic **'The greatest shame a wizard could suffer':** don't expect a goldfish-thing to happen here. I'm more cruel to Artemis than I was to Harry.

In reference to the Thermopylae plaque, author too photographed it last summer, along with King Leonidas's statue (he's completely naked but wearing a helmet... funny, eh?). I love Greece!

In case you're over 16 and you'd like to see a belated, slighty smutty A/H Christmas art from me, then click on the link in my bio. You can't imagine how I was blushing when I drew it ;) But I so enjoyed it, LOL! _Bad Agi, very bad Agi! hitting her head with a lamp in a Dobby-like manner_

**Review, please!**


	18. Aurum non sola potestas

**Author's note in April, 2005:** Juliet sang the lyrics of 'Married with children' and Carla sang some lyrics from the Sound of music in this chapter, and I deleted/re-wrote that part to satisfy ffnet's admins. Yes, this is pretty horrible this way, but I can't help. You can read the original, full version in my yahoogroup.

**

Chapter 18

**

Aurum non sola potestas

Foaly was eyeing Wing Commander Vinyáya with a wry expression. What could she want from him? This woman had never set foot in Ops Booth before, so why now? And what is that frown on her face? The centaur tried not to show how uncomfortable he felt about the wing commander's visit.

"How can I help you, madam?" he forced a toothy smile on his face.

"I want to know where Commander Short is," the female fairy replied coldly.

"Commander Short? You mean… Holly?" The centaur gulped.

"Why, how many Commander Shorts do you know?"

"Well, you know… er, why do you want to see her?"

"Months ago she volunteered to take part in the arrangements of this year's LEP ball, and I've been trying to contact her for three days to ask for her opinion on the decorations. But she's not available. Even Commissioner Bean tried to contact her, to no avail. Where - is - she?"

"Where? Where? Well, she's… on a mission, yes."

Vinyáya's eyes narrowed. "I expect it has something to do with the disappearance of her son."

Foaly shrugged. "I believe it has."

"And I believe you know much more than you're letting on, and you're deliberately playing the idiot," she said with a piercing stare. "Face it, pony, acting the idiot does _not_ suit you."

"I'm too clever for that?" Foaly tried to grin, but failed pathetically.

The wing commander waved irritably. "This is no longer about police balls, my nerdy friend. This is about a commander being unavailable to her superior, and unavailable for Haven. The Council does not know about this mission of hers, the commissioner does not know about it either. No one seems to have the slightest idea where she is. But you do, I'm sure of it."

"Why… why would I know anything? Who am I, after all? The LEP's technical genius, not Holly's confidant. I'm a civilian, why would she tell me anything about her missions?"

Vinyáya leaned forward, her dark eyes gleaming viciously. "That's right, you're a civilian. Therefore, I have the right to arrest you with the charge of retaining vital information from the Police, and take you before the Council for a bit of questioning. We might as well use your own tricky interrogating devices on you. Do you like the idea, Foaly?"

The centaur shook his head.

"Then out with it! Where's Short?"

Foaly swallowed the lump that had risen in his throat. "Mexico."

"Mexico?" The wing commander's eyebrows jumped high and almost disappeared behind her fringe. "And do tell, what on earth is she doing in Mexico?"

Foaly took a deep breath. "Saving our world, madam."

"Saving our world? From whom?"

"From a crazed pixie called Quartz Quench who decided to wipe out the fairy folk, using Patrick Short. That's why he kidnapped the boy."

"Quench?" The woman seemed thoughtful for a moment. "But he's a multi-millionaire! He keeps making huge donations to the LEP! Why would he want to harm anyone?"

"Because he's a psychopath," Foaly replied. "He had a bad childhood to say the least, constant humiliation and stuff like that, and now he wants to take revenge on the world that treated him like a mangy troll."

"And how do you know what he's planning?"

"His sister told me, madam."

"I never knew he had a sister."

"No one knew madam, save Quench and the sister in question - Opal Koboi."

"Koboi?" Vinyáya gasped. "I should've known! That little tramp was the mastermind behind the kidnapping, wasn't she?"

"No. In fact she only found out that Holly had a son a week ago, after Patrick had been abducted. Koboi might not be an angel, but I hate to admit it: in this case she's fair. Besides, she's helping Holly against her brother."

"Helping from her cell at Howler's Peak?" The woman made an expression of disbelief.

"No, Wing Commander. Koboi is in Mexico right now."

"You don't mean Short let that criminal free?"

"Not permanently, madam. They made an agreement. If Koboi helps beat her brother, her sentence will be shortened by 175 years."

"And what makes you think Miss Koboi will willingly return to Howler's Peak once she managed to leave it?" Vinyáya asked sharply.

A smug grin spread on the centaur's face. "Not willingly, but she _will_ return. Holly forced her to wear a special iris cam, invented by yours truly. There's no way even technical genius Opal can remove it, and if she tries, it will explode in her face. Miss pretty pixie will not risk her good looks for freedom, especially not her life, believe me. The iris cam needs to be removed within a week after it got placed under her eyelids, and she knows that only I can remove it without making it explode. If she survives the mission, Opal will return to her comfortable little cell, I have no doubt of that."

"How does Quench want to… how did you put it, _wipe out _the fairy folk?"

"With the help of an Aztec idol, hidden in a pyramid somewhere in the Mexican jungle," came the answer. "But, as far as I know, only a human can lift that idol off its plinth, that's why Quench needed Mud Man help."

The wing commander knitted her eyebrows. "You don't mean he _mesmerised_ a Mud Man to go with him into the jungle and ignore the fact that he's a fairy?"

"No. I bet he wouldn't have felt safe with a Mud Man in an Aztec pyramid, even if he had _mesmerised_ him. Aztec pyramids are said to be magical, so they could have neutralised the effect of the _mesmer_, and Quench wouldn't have been safe anymore. So he did not take chances - he kidnapped little Pat and very likely forced him to make that substance for him."

"_That_ substance?" Vinyáya breathed.

Foaly nodded. "Our millionaire friend must be strolling in the Mexican jungle right now, looking like a Mud Man -_ if_ Patrick managed to complete his substance. But to tell you the truth, I have no doubt that he did, he's too clever to fail. Not that he did it out of his own free will… No, the boy is too much like Holly in this respect - too honest. Quench, however, could have found a way to force Patrick to comply…"

"The Obedience Serum…" the wing commander muttered.

"Or worse." The centaur's face darkened. "I could imagine that monster torturing the boy…" He shuddered. "I hope the kid's all right… at least for the time being."

"For the time being?"

Foaly hung his head. "In order to activate the idol's power, Quench needs to make a virgin sacrifice. And guess whom he wants to sacrifice?"

"The child?" Vinyáya's complexion turned as white as a sheet.

The LEP's genius nodded.

"But… what sort of human help could he have got?" the wing commander mused sombrely.

"A Chicago mobster. Carla Frazetti and her gorillas. Must be quite a troop. Gold-crazed gangsters. Quench must have promised them Aztec gold if they helped him find the pyramid."

"And Short decided to take on a troop of armed gangsters on her own?" Vinyáya snapped. "I always knew that girl was mad, but I never expected her to be _this_ mad!"

"Just two comments, madam. One: Holly's a mother, and a mother would go to any length to save her child. Two: she's not alone."

"Oh, yeah, Koboi's helping her…" Vinyáya rolled her eyes.

"Koboi and some others."

"More convicts, perhaps?" she asked sarcastically.

"Well, there happens to be one more convict on the rescue team…" the centaur's voice trailed off.

"Who?"

"Mulch Diggums."

The wing commander snorted. "That petty thief?"

"Petty, yes, but he can dig brilliantly."

"What, Short wants him to dig?"

"Sort of."

"So there are three of them. I bet the convicts would rather conspire to escape from Short than to help her."

"Not as long as good old Julius is keeping an eye on them. And even if Diggums escaped, Opal cannot. My iris cam, remember?"

"So Root's in it too? Why am I not surprised?" Vinyáya heaved a sigh. "He's always loved the girl as though she were his daughter."

"And he loves Patrick as though the boy were his grandson," Foaly added.

"That Patrick…" the woman said quietly, "…he's a very strange child. I only met him once when the Council entrusted him with that project and we exchanged a few words. I immediately knew he was the weirdest person I've ever met. Of course he's a genius, but being a genius doesn't necessarily turn people so weird. You're a genius too, but compared to that boy you're fairly normal."

"Why, thank you very much." Foaly made a grimace.

"I meant it," Vinyáya said, sinking into a swivel chair. "Did you know the boy's parents? The real ones? Short only adopted him, didn't she?"

"Ehm… well, yes, she did," the centaur muttered. He knew this conversation was going in a rather dangerous direction. No one was supposed to find out about Patrick's real parentage! "What about the real parents?"

"I wonder whether they were half as weird as their son…" the woman replied.

_No, they are twice as weird, especially the father_, Foaly thought, but aloud he only said "No idea, madam."

"So, Short, Root and two criminals are trying to save the boy and the fairy People," she concluded.

"Yes, Wing Commander." The centaur nodded vigorously. He felt bad enough about having revealed so much to Vinyáya, but there was no way he'd mention Artemis and Juliet's involvement. Holly had got into enough trouble already, she would surely be facing a questioning and perhaps even punishment if she returned; but if the Council got wind of Holly bringing Mud People into Haven (especially _that_ Mud Man), she would be giving her LEP badge back, commander or not.

"What are you going to do now, madam?" he asked the woman nervously.

"If you're fearing for your own health, then relax. I don't intend to arrest you… yet. As for our rash little commander… how do you think we could help her?"

"I don't think you could, wing commander. It would take days to find the pyramid, hours or days to get through possible traps, and so on, and so on. Either way you would be too late. It all depends on Holly and Ar… er… her team now."

Vinyáya dejectedly shook her head. "I can't believe she left with a pensioner and two unreliable criminals to save the world! She could have told us! We would have helped!"

"I'm sure she had her reasons for not telling you, madam. Are you going to tell anyone?"

"I need to tell the commissioner. The future of our culture is at stake here. Make sure you are available for further questioning."

"Don't worry, Wing Commander, I'm not going anywhere. Just…"

"Just what?"

"Whatever happens, tell the commissioner not to punish Holly. She did what she believed was right."

"That's exactly the problem with Commander Short. She always does what she believes right," replied Vinyáya with a sad smile and headed for the exit.

* * *

"Root to Short, Root to Short, do you copy?"

Holly groaned and rubbed her eyes, then looked around blearily.

Where was she? What had happened? Whose arm was wound around her midriff so tightly?

"Root to Short, do you copy? Holly?"

She sat bolt upright, the mysterious arm falling off her, causing its owner to moan and stir.

Holly pushed the 'receive call' button on her wrist-phone. "Julius?" she said in a raspy voice, her whole body trembling with excitement.

"Oh, thank heaven, Holly," came the elderly elf's relieved sigh from the tiny gadget. "I've been trying to contact you for minutes but you didn't respond."

"Where are you now?" the female fairy asked shakily.

"Somewhere under the pyramid. Diggums reckons it will take another few hours to get in. We've just realised that our devices are working again and thought we'd contact you. Are you all right?"

"Fine, both of us, and past all the obstacles," Artemis replied instead of Holly. She glanced at him and saw that he was still lying on the floor, his eyes closed, but his brain seemed awake.

_His brain…_ Memories of the recent events struck her like a lightning.

"It seems that the field neutralising all technology only works around and above the building," the young man carried on, "but not _in_ it and not_ under_ it."

"Are you three all right, too?" Holly asked her old friend.

"All four of us are all right," a female voice answered.

"Juliet, is that you?"

"Yeah, we found her," said Mulch.

"Correction, I found them," Juliet commented in a cheery voice so that Holly could see her grinning in her mind's eye.

"Everything proceeds according to Plan A, then?" Opal spoke up in her usual cold manner.

"Obviously," Artemis replied from the floor, his eyes still shut. "Just try to get into the pyramid before sundown, or it will be highly difficult after that."

"Why?" asked Opal.

"Some magic puts the building into another dimension for the night," Holly explained. "It can only be seen and entered from sunup to sundown."

"I expect it cannot be _left_ overnight, then," the pixie concluded.

"Exactly," Artemis replied. "Most curious, though, because even if the pyramid exists in another dimension overnight, the full moon's rays are allegedly able to come through some window…"

"Perhaps the other dimension has a full moon too," Opal guessed.

"Yeah, that sounds logical," Artemis agreed. "The point is that you don't have much time, so tell Mulch to dig faster."

"We will. Have you heard the mastermind, Diggums?"

"'Course," came the dwarf's grumpy voice through the receiver. "Don't worry, Arty, we'll be in before sunset."

"Glad to hear, convict," said Root. "See you later, then, Holly. Oh, and Holly…?"

"Yes?"

"Everything all right between… you and Fowl?"

The elf girl frowned. Why was her old friend asking something like that? "Yes, of course. Why, did you think we were killing each other?" She glanced at her companion and saw a smile on his lips, even though he still hadn't opened his eyes.

"Er… no," came the hesitant answer. Holly could almost see Julius tugging at his beard, his face as red with embarrassment as a beetroot. _Had Juliet told him something?_ - She wondered. Juliet, after all, knew that she fancied Artemis. The Butler girl had realised it earlier than Holly herself…

"Okay, then. Take care."

"Take care, Holly. You too, Fowl," said Root and ended the call.

"Uplifting experience to hear their voices," Artemis remarked as he sat up, now wide-awake. He looked around and established that they were in the entrance hall of the pyramid, just a few feet deeper than they had been when they'd overstepped an invisible line and begun the trials.

"Uplifting, yes." She nodded, casting a sideways glance at him. "See, they're all fine and have their magic. I could've given mine, you needn't have…"

He reached out and placed his index finger on her lips. "Ssssh. No use pondering what-ifs. It's happened and it's irrevocable. I wouldn't have acted differently, even if I'd known for sure they were safe."

"Why not?" she whispered.

His face remained serious, but his eyes were smiling. "Because I couldn't have let you lose your magic. You'll have a long life, Holly, while mine is short. I could live with average intelligence for the remaining few decades, but if you had given up your magic, you would have had to live as a half-fairy, live a half-life for centuries to come. I can still be a university professor or a scientist, based on all the notes I've made on my experiments. You, on the other hand, might have had to leave the LEP without your abilities."

She bit into her lower lip, tears brimming her eyes. She couldn't believe he'd done it for her! It wasn't true that Artemis Fowl was incapable of loving. He was, _he must have been_, if he'd done it for her!

At that moment Holly felt like throwing herself into his arms and kissing him until he begged her to let him breath. But something held her back. Something in his eyes… and that sad but slightly cynical smile that had all of a sudden appeared on his face.

"Before you canonise me, I didn't do it only for you. I didn't do it only for Patrick and the fairies. I had a much more egoistical reason. I did it for humankind as well… and to be _very_ egoistical - I did it for myself."

"I don't get it." Holly shook her head. "Humankind is not in danger."

"You don't think so. But I know better."

The commander folded her arms before her chest, giving him a grim look. "Once in a lifetime, speak in a way that lesser people understand it too, will you?"

"I will," he replied calmly. "I had a conversation with Obsidian Snake when you went to the loo, and with the princess a few hours before that."

"When that Fleur person tried to shag you?"

"Yes." He shrugged. "They told me what they knew about the pyramid and the idol. They told me things that even Sidney had had no idea about. They told me that the idol obliterates the folk of the sacrificed person."

She knitted her eyebrows. "What?"

"The Aztecs wanted to kill the Spanish with the idol's help. They would have had to catch a Spanish person, preferably an innocent youngster to sacrifice. But they didn't have the chance to do it. Now Quench wants to use Patrick as the virgin sacrifice to wipe out the fairies. Certainly he knows that the person performing the ritual cannot die, so he doesn't fear he might die along with the rest of the fairies. But, and this is a huge BUT, Quench either does not know that Patrick is a half-blood, or he knows it, but hasn't realised that very likely he's going to wipe out humankind as well if he sacrifices Patrick."

"Half-blood…" Holly whispered, her eyes widening with horror. "Oh, that idiot! He could kill every sentient being on this planet and he doesn't even realise!"

"We need to make him realise it, then," Artemis said. "Or if not him, then his human companions. Surely they do not want to die and Quench doesn't want to become the ruler of a planet of animals? Because if he kills our son, it is highly likely that only animals will remain on Earth. The other possibility is…"

"What?" Holly asked quickly.

"Well, it's possible that the idol will get confused by Patrick being a half-blood, and cannot tell that he's half _Irish_, only that he's half_ human_, and will not only wipe out the Irish, but every man and woman on Earth. On the fairies' side, I doubt it would only kill the elves just because Patrick is half-elven. But of course this is something that we cannot predict. It is also possible that the idol will try to do its work as fairly as possible, so it will only kill half of the fairies and half of the humans. This has five sub-versions. One: the idol kills half of both species regardless of gender. Two: it kills the males of both species. Three: it kills the females of both species. Four: it kills all human males and fairy females, five: it kills all fairy males and human females. The latter two versions would be quite amusing to say the least - humans and fairies would be forced to mix if they didn't want to become extinct."

"Veeery amusing, indeed." Holly wrinkled her nose.

"Yeah," young Fowl grinned, his eyes twinkling merrily despite the seriousness of the situation. "If version five happens, I'm available for you."

"You're joking, aren't you?" She scowled at him.

"Of course I am, dear Commander. After all, it would be a physical impossibility: human males have sizes too big to get into sexual relationship with fairy females. At least I surely do," he added with a wink.

_Yeah, I've seen that_, She thought with a bitter smile. "This is serious matter, Fowl. The situation is graver than I thought."

"I know. It would have been way easier for me too, if I only had to worry about the fairy People, but this way… I hope now you understand why I risked so much, why I sacrificed so much. The future of Earth is in our hands, Holly."

"But what if we aren't strong enough to bear its weight?" she asked dejectedly.

"We mustn't even think of that possibility. We have to be strong."

"I fear I'm not strong enough," she whispered. The ever so determined and ready-to-save-everyone Holly Short felt she was collapsing under the weight of the problems placed on her shoulders.

"Neither am I," he said, "at least not on my own. I couldn't make it alone… but unity is strength, Holly. Together we are strong, you and I. Together we can bear the weight." He took her tiny hands into his and squeezed them gently and reassuringly. "You taught me teamwork. You taught me that if we stand united, no power on Earth can defeat us. Remember what you taught me and don't give up."

"Who said I wanted to give up?" She presented him with a brave smile and pulled him into a hug. "By the way, I don't think you could have lost so much of your IQ… if you're telling me such clever things…"

"These are not clever things, Holly, they're instinctive things… heart-felt things." A sheepish smile spread on his face. "See, you've even taught me to _feel_. You should be proud of yourself."

"You too. The teacher can be good, but if the pupil isn't, then it's a lost cause."

"Well, most of my teachers and psychologists said I was lost cause, a hopeless cause…"

"Then they were very-very wrong," she replied, leaning so close to him that their nose-tips were almost touching. "354x26?"

"Huh?" He blinked, pulling back in surprise.

"How much is 354x26?"

He seemed thoughtful for a few seconds. "Somewhere around 9000. I can't do it in my head anymore." Seeing her scrutinising stare, he forced a smile. "Doesn't matter. That's what calculators are for, isn't it?"

He couldn't fool her with his smile - she knew it wasn't genuine. If only she could help him now, make him feel more comfortable with the current situation! But that could wait. They had to save the world first.

* * *

"I'm thoroughly surprised you took the courage and asked Short about her relationship to Fowl," Opal told Root as they were climbing upwards in the now more or less vertical tunnel dug by Mulch.

"Why, did you _doubt_ I would screw up my courage and ask her?" the one-time commander grunted, an unlit fungus cigar between his teeth. How he was missing a good smoke! First he hadn't dared light a cigar in the jungle, now he couldn't do it if he didn't want all four of them to suffocate in the tunnel. The air was quite oxygen-poor even without him smoking, since the only way fresh air could come into the tunnel was through the entrance/exit made by Mulch.

"No one questioned your courage," Juliet said in a placating tone. "In fact I'm glad you asked Holly, at least we know they aren't killing each other."

"An' you a'tually believe 'at?' Mulch commented through a mouthful of mud. "I 'ouldn't if I 'ere you," he carried on, munching loudly. "Say, 'ave you seen S'ar Wars?"

"I have." Juliet nodded. "The lightsaber scenes are my favourites - pretty good display of swordsmanship. Why do you ask?"

Mulch swallowed the mouthful of moist earth and ejected it, careful this time not to hit anyone. Not that it mattered a lot, as all of them were covered with the dwarf's recyclings from head to toe. They could no longer use the LEP shield against Mulch's 'bombs' because they needed both of their hands for the climbing. The only one who didn't really mind the mud-pack was Juliet - in Madame Ko's Academy she had had worse.

"Why do I ask?" the dwarf echoed the Butler girl. "Because Arty and our fiery little commander behaved in a way back in Haven that dangerously remind me of Han and Leia. For some reason I don't doubt they continued to behave like that in the jungle as well."

"Han and Leia…" Juliet mused with an ever-widening grin. "You're saying something there, Smelly."

"I know I am, Stinker," Mulch replied smugly. "And if I'm right and they're anything like Han and Leia, then I'm betting they're going to end up married with children."

"Married with children? I love that show!" Juliet said enthusiastically and started singing the main theme of 'Married with children'.

"Will you stop singing?" Root barked at her, accidentally biting his cigar in half.

"You can't bear it, can you?" Juliet asked with a frown on her lovely face.

"What, the singing? No, I really can't!" the elderly elf snapped.

"Not the singing." Juliet waved. "The truth about Arty and Holly."

"Now it seems you're the only one who still can't see it," Opal added.

Root's head was turning its usual reddish colour. "I don't care what you can see or what you think you can see! Diggums, continue digging!"

"As you wish." Mulch shrugged, hitting Julius with a particularly sizeable lump of earth from his backside.

They continued climbing without uttering a word for minutes. After a while Root felt he no longer could stand the silence. "What did Fowl say about obstacles?" he asked to initiate conversation. "What obstacles?"

"Obstacles, trials, traps, call them whatever you want, they're likely to make life difficult for anyone who enters the pyramid through the front door. Fowl wanted to spare us the trouble and make sure at least one of the teams managed to get into the idol's chamber before Quench did. Why do you think he sent us in from underground?" Opal said sharply. "As you know, according to the plan, if we reached the chamber before Team A, then we were to hold Quench back until Team A arrived. I find there's a wee flaw in the plan. After all, if _Fowl_ didn't manage to get in, then… all was for nothing."

"I understand that, but why didn't Fowl spare the easier way for himself? The obstacle-free way?" wondered Root. "It's so _not_ like him to be this gracious!"

"I wouldn't call making us covered with dung gracious." The pixie grimaced. "Lucky that at least this sort of dung doesn't smell… too much."

Mulch turned around and presented her with a toothy grin, then carried on with the tunnelling.

"You really don't understand Arty's behaviour, do you?" Juliet asked the one-time commander.

"If you're trying to convince me that Fowl's sudden attitude for self-sacrifice is due to his… relationship to Holly, then don't even begin."

Juliet shook her head in disbelief. Males were so obstinate!

* * *

"I have been informed by Wing Commander Vinyáya that Commander Short left for Mexico, to… save the world," Commissioner Bean, and elderly gnome, said grumpily. "Is it true, Foaly?"

"Every word of it, sir," the centaur replied somewhat unwillingly. He hated being interrogated.

"The Wing Commander filled me in on the vile acts of the millionaire Quartz Quench and the grave danger threatening our culture. She also told me that Opal Koboi is sister to the kidnapper, and dubious character though she may be, she's helping Commander Short against her brother."

Foaly nodded with a bored expression. Why was the commissioner recounting everything he already knew?

"However," Bean carried on, "I don't see how you, Short or anyone could have managed to figure out all the details of the Quench-case. How did you realise it was him behind everything? How did you guess _why_ he had abducted young Short? How do you know about this particular Aztec idol?"

_Concentrate, Foaly, concentrate and don't spill the beans about Fowl_, the centaur recited to himself, then took a deep breath and began talking. "The LEP found an eyeball gem in Holly's flat, right after the kidnapping. Eyeball gems, as you know, have a serial number. With the number's help we found its owner, a petty bounty hunter, who only needed a little persuasion to confess that Quench had paid him for the kidnapping. Then came Diggums who told us that Quench and Koboi were related, so Holly decided to question Koboi who told us that her brother was badly seeking a Mud Man contact, and…"

It took Foaly about five minutes to summarise the story, leaving out Artemis and Juliet's names.

The commissioner listened to him with knitted eyebrows. "That's a very interesting tale, my horsey friend, but full of plot-mistakes. You still haven't answered me how you knew about the Aztec ritual and the idol."

"Oh that… It's me. I'm quite familiar with Mud Man history and mythology. Didn't you know? Well, I think I'm just good at too many things for lesser minds to remember…"

Seeing the centaur's forty-teeth smile, the commissioner's complexion darkened. He had received 110 percent for his 'reading expressions' exam back at the LEP Academy. True, it had been over 450 years ago, so he might have forgotten things by now, but he still prided himself on being extremely good at recognising deception. And this centaur here was trying to deceive him. However, he knew that there was no time for further interrogations now.

"If I find out you misled me, you're going to be sacked, Foaly, not to mention imprisoned for a few years. But now, give me all the help you can to locate this bloody pyramid."

"You're going there, sir?" Foaly gulped.

"I'm not leaving a commander to face such dangers with no one but two convicts."

"You forgot Julius! He's there too!"

"Yeah, him," Bean sighed. Rumour had it that he and Root had never been on exactly good terms. They had mutually respected each other, but there had been some disagreement between them about a girl a few centuries before… "Well, even if Root's there, it's not enough. It's still just four fairies, and only two of them are trustworthy. They need backup… and a thorough spanking if they survive. Going off to save our culture on their own!" The commissioner shook his head. "D'Arvitting irresponsible youngsters!"

"You're forgetting Julius, sir. He's not exactly a youngster anymore…"

The elderly gnome waggled his finger at Foaly. "Playing the smart-aleck cannot distract me. I suspect you're hiding something. I'll come back to you, pony boy, and you'd better be telling the complete truth! And now, I want all the information. Start talking!"

The technical genius made a sour expression. "Aye, Mr Bean."

* * *

It was nearly sundown when Artemis and Holly found the sacrificial chamber. Luckily the inner-side of the pyramid wasn't as much of a labyrinth as the Egyptian pyramids are said to be - it was fairly easy to find the chamber.

Artemis glanced on his watch only to see it showing 1:32 p.m. Naturally it had stopped when they had entered the magical field around the pyramid and had only started working again when they had entered the building itself. He suspected it must be around 6:35 p.m., given that at this time of the year the sun sets at 6:45 p.m. at this latitude and longitude.

"I just hope Team B made it into the building before sunset," Holly said in a worried voice.

"Me too," Artemis replied, staring into the semi-darkness of the chamber, hesitant to enter.

Seeing his hesitation, she spoke up: "Are you expecting more traps, perhaps? It wouldn't be fair, would it? Setting traps after eight bloody tasks?"

"The Aztecs weren't known for their fairness," he said. "But no, I don't think there are any traps left, besides the fact that only a human can lift the idol off its plinth."

"Then? If there are no traps, then what was that expression on your face?"

"What expression?"

"Don't play with me, Fowl, I saw what I saw."

Artemis made a wry face. "I was just wondering whether… whether I've done the right thing. Whether I've thought of everything. This isn't about stealing a cube from John Spiro. People could more likely get hurt here. Really hurt. It's possible we save the world, but not Patrick. It's possible we save him and the world, but we don't make it alive…"

"You aren't telling me you've chickened out, are you?" she asked sharply.

"No. I just… Funny how one's priorities can change within a week." He shook his head with a wistful smile. "Just over a week ago I was all absorbed in moneymaking and becoming even more famous than I already was, then you came and told me I was a father… and suddenly wealth and fame didn't matter that much… Then, when we found out what Quench was planning, every single brain-cell in my head started to concentrate on saving Patrick and the fairies… and ever since I've known that even humankind is in danger of extinction and it's up to me and my plan to save them, I catch myself thinking that I'm ready to die here… or I'm ready to save the world and remain in the shadows… I catch myself thinking that I wouldn't mind if not a single soul besides you and Team B knew what I have done… It's scary, Holly. Where's my old, egoistical, show-off self? It was so much easier to be that self-centred git than being… this. Whatever _this_ is."

"You asked what _this_ is?" she said gently. "I'm telling you, then. It's the hidden Artemis. The Artemis who has resided inside you since you were born, but had been pushed into the background by the greedy, self-important prat Artemis. The good Artemis only needed a bit of a nudge to come out of his hiding. I personally like him way better than the old one. The question is: which model do _you_ like better?"

"I don't know, Holly," the young man sighed, leaning on the doorframe. "It was so much easier being the git-Artemis. He had no scruples, no inhibitions… no feelings. This one feels, and sometimes it's darn difficult."

"You're telling _me_?" Holly's eyes twinkled. "I feel _all the time_. Elves are emotional creatures, you know."

"All the time?" Artemis arched an eyebrow at her. "I don't think I could bear that. Must be horribly tiring. What do you feel _all the time_?"

"It varies, depending on the situation and the person I feel it for. For Julius, for example, I feel respect, and sometimes anger. For Foaly - just friendship. For Opal - loathing, mixed with respect. For Quench… something that all TV channels and newspapers would censor. For Patrick… nothing but love."

"And for me?"

"All of the afore-mentioned things," she said, shrugging.

"Love and the censored part included?"

Holly sighed. "Why don't we enter, Fowl? I know, we have a few hours head-start compared to Quench, but…"

"…but you haven't answered my question."

"Apparently besides the many good characteristics, New Artemis has developed one bad one as well. He's too curious," she replied and stepped into the chamber.

Fuming about her evasive reply, he followed her.

* * *

Carla was aghast. "Sacrifice one of our talents?" She snapped into the empty void surrounding her and her men. "I've lost two of my best people, another four are seriously injured thanks to these stupid tasks, and it's still not enough? You want more?"

"I do," the disembodied voice replied. "Either one of you willingly gives up their greatest gift, or you will be marooned here in Nowhere forever."

"You, boy!" Quench shouted at Patrick, "do as the voice tells!"

"Me?" young Short asked with a politely confused expression.

"Yes, you! You have a gift, boy, a huge gift, and you will give it up." Quartz leaned closer to the lanky half-elf and whispered into his ear: "You know you're going to die at the end of this, so you won't be needing your brains any longer. Be a good boy and offer it to the voice."

Patrick's eyes narrowed and a vein started pulsing on his temple. He was fighting against the Obedience Serum. What he found both surprising and elating was that he didn't need to fight so hard anymore. The usual choking and heart-compressing feeling had turned into a minor inconvenience, as though he were trying to breathe in mountain air. It was harder to breathe than normally, but not impossible. The only reason he could think of was that the effect of the serum was wearing off. "You know you're lying," he whispered back. "You know the LEP's here and they will save me. I'm going to survive this whole mess and if you don't mind, I'd like to keep my brains, it might come in handy later in my life."

The small visible portion of Quench's face turned red and he seemed near to tearing his wispy hair. "You will give it up! You _want to_ give it up!" he shouted at the boy.

"Excuse me for the interruption," the voice spoke up, "but you cannot force anyone to make a sacrifice. It needs to be a completely willing decision, made of their own free will."

"See?" Patrick smirked at his captor. "You cannot make me. Neither can your pathetic serum."

"All right," Miss Frazetti heaved a sigh. "It will be me, then. My greatest gift is my beautiful singing voice. Not that I was really attached to it - my mother made me take singing lessons as a child when I hated them! She and father wanted me to become a bloody opera singer, return home to Italy and sing in the Milano Scala! Yuck. The only person who saw the potential of a mobster in me was my dear godfather. So, my greatest gift is something I willingly give up, you can have it, Voice."

"So be it," came the solemn reply.

* * *

The chamber wasn't dark like the corridors that had led there, so Artemis could have switched off the torch, had he wanted to.

At the farthest end of the room there was a small window through which some light came, illuminating the floor, a chair carved of stone, and hundreds, perhaps thousands of golden plates, tumblers, shields and swords. The faint light of dusk coming from outside and the thin beam cast by Artemis's torch glittered on the treasure, filling the chamber with a warm, yellowish hue. In the middle stood a pedestal, bearing a small golden statue.

Artemis pointed the torch at the tiny object to observe it properly. Holly stood on her tiptoes to get a better view.

"Which god is this?" she asked.

"Itzcoliuhqui, god of destruction," Artemis replied absentmindedly. The small figure was beautiful, and no doubt, invaluable. Pure gold. Pure gold, like all the plates and goblets lying around.

_Aurum Est Potestas_. Gold is power. Or is it? Maybe because of his sacrifice, perhaps due to something else, Artemis was no longer sure. Just three days ago at the cave that led into the Aztec village, he had been planning to return there and find out whether the cave's walls were indeed covered with emeralds, and it had also run across his mind to exploit the pyramid's gold reserves. Now that this immense wealth was within reach, now that he could have collected several objects made of the king of precious metals, he no longer felt desire for it.

Just one cup here was worth more than his Nobel winnings put together, just one shield was more valuable than the whole of Fowl Manor, but Artemis did not crave the cup, and even less did he crave the shield. The glittering of gold dazzled his eyes, but not his mind and soul.

It was a weird feeling. A liberating feeling.

"Are you all right?" asked Holly.

"Yes, why?"

"Because you were eyeing that idol as though you'd seen a ghost."

"A ghost?" The Irishman smiled. "Perhaps. Just the ghost of my old self."

"Is the Old Artemis indeed dead, then?" she whispered.

"I think so. And you know what? I'm not grieving over his death."

"Just… just a question, Artemis…"

"Yes?"

"If… if you hadn't lost your… intelligence, what would you be like? Would Old Artemis be still alive?"

"That's something I cannot answer, Holly, because I don't know. But does it matter at all? You've got the New Artemis to adore now." He winked at her.

"I think the Old Artemis isn't _completely_ dead." Holly smirked. "So, what shall we do with this idol?"

"_We_? Nothing. Just _me_, dear Commander. You know that the Aztec priests put some charm on it to make sure that only humans can remove it from its pedestal."

"Yes, but why? I doubt they were counting with fairies…"

"So do I. But look at the window. It's big enough to enable a smaller monkey to hop in here; and if it likes this pretty, glittery thing, it might get the idea of taking it home to its nest."

"It's a precaution against animals, then, but very likely works for fairies too. Wonder what happens to a non-human who tries to lift it…"

"I'd rather not know that. But at least we know that this is why Quench needed Frazetti - to give him the idol. He might look like a human now, but isn't likely to deceive magic. As for the metal men - they were just needed to fight the way across the jungle."

"…and through the tasks," Holly added. "I hope they kept Patrick safe…"

"I'm sure they did. Quench needs him alive… at least for a while."

Holly's stomach clenched at the thought of what awaited her son here. Her eyes shifted to a stone table that had not yet caught her attention.

"Is this…?" she breathed, pointing at the table.

"The altar, yes." He nodded grimly.

She gulped, her eyes fixed upon the cold, grey stone. Suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Don't worry, Patrick won't get to lie on it."

"No." She licked her lips that had gone as dry as a parchment. "He won't."

"Good. And now, let's get down to work."

* * *

"Try it, Miss Frazetti! Try to sing!" One of Carla's metal men shouted, his voice echoing throughout the entrance hall of the pyramid.

After the female mobster had made her sacrifice, some mysterious wind had swept them all off their feet and knocked them out. Upon awakening, they had found themselves here, the void and the endless path of stone nowhere to be seen.

"Well… do-re-mi… Hem-hem…" Carla cleared her throat and began singing the main theme from Sound of music, "Bleh, that's horrible. I cannot sing," she perceived. A grin spread on her face. "Great, I cannot sing!"

"Shall we proceed, Miss Frazetti?" Quartz asked impatiently. It was going to be full moon tonight, and he didn't want to miss those few minutes when the full moon's beam fell upon the sacrificial altar. That was when he needed to kill the boy, or he would have to wait four weeks for the opportunity to arise again.

"Right." The woman nodded. "And you'd better be right about the gold."

* * *

After half an hour of walk they reached the chamber.

"Well, Miss Frazetti, have I been right about the gold?" Quartz asked the astounded mobster. The torches in the metal men's hands illuminated treasure… everywhere. Golden bowls, golden pitchers, golden armour. The whole room seemed to be filled with gold.

"I have to give it to you, Mr Quench, you were right. This was indeed worth fighting for," Carla replied.

"I'm most delighted you think so, madam," the fairy-turned-Mud Man bowed slightly. "And I hope you remember our terms in which you promised me that if I gave you the treasure, you wouldn't ask any further questions, and you'd give me free hand."

Carla frowned, glanced at Patrick, then back at her partner in crime. She had a bad feeling about the whole situation. True, she had told Quench that as long as she got her gold, she didn't care what happened to the boy, but she couldn't help feeling awkward about it. With a heavy heart, she nodded. "Certainly. The idol is yours, Mr Quench, and feel free to do anything you wish. We shall not hinder you, and your acts will not be questioned."

"Wonderful, Miss Frazetti, I've always known you were a sensible woman," Quartz said in an unctuous voice. "Now, hand me that idol, if you please."

"Can't you lift it off its plinth yourself?" she asked, forgetting that she had just promised not to ask questions. "Is there a trap? Something like an axe slicing off the hand of anyone who tries to remove it from its place?"

"Miss Frazetti, dear Miss Frazetti, don't you still trust me? I can assure you that there's no trap. It merely needs a… woman's touch. Only a woman can lift it off," Quartz replied, hoping beyond hope that she believed his lie. He couldn't yet disclose the fact that he was a fairy and that's why he couldn't touch the idol, could he? Not even if the chamber was full of invisible LEP officers. _But was it_? What if the LEP people who had tried to come in had died in one of the tasks? Or what if they were still strolling down that endless path of stone? Quartz hoped that no member of the fairy rescue team made it into this chamber. However, just to be sure, he had kept his eyes open and perked up his ears to notice any suspicious noise, ever since they had entered the chamber.

"So, it needs a woman's touch, huh?" The mobster mused, walking up to the plinth. Quartz and her metal men followed her in silence. "I wonder whether a _male_ had tried to lift if off," she said, pointing at the tiny statue that was lying on its pedestal.

"What?" Quench stepped up to her and stared at the desired object. No doubt, it had been designed to stand in the small dent in the middle, but instead it was lying facedown on the edge of the pedestal. Something was amiss here…

"This has been tampered with," Carla stated. "Probably by a male. The only question is: WHEN? Decades, perhaps centuries ago, or… recently? What if someone had been just about to take it off the plinth when he heard our steps and dropped it?"

Being the cautious woman that she was, Carla pulled her handgun out of its holster, ready for the attack of an invisible foe. After the eight trials she had learned that the world - or at least this pyramid - was full of inexplicable things.

"That's highly unlikely," Quench answered nervously. If fairies were here, they couldn't have lifted the idol! Or could they? Quartz did not know what sort of magic was guarding the idol from non-humans. It could be something that kills non-humans if they try to remove it from the pedestal. It could as easily be something that only injures them… So the chamber could be full of shielded fairies who were possibly hiding their injured or dead companion behind a camouflage foil…

"Give me that beast," he barked at his guard Reed, who had been carrying the howler monkey's cage.

Quartz took the cage but did not open it, fearing that the animal would try to escape.

One moment he was staring the monkey in the eye, the next moment he was giving out squeaking and hooting sounds. The average observer would have thought he'd gone mad (some of the metal men definitely thought so), but any fairy could have said that he was speaking Howlermonkey, albeit in a slightly odd dialect.

_Can you see any fairies around? Small people with pointed ears? If you can, show me where they are._

The _mesmerised_ monkey lifted its right arm and pointed at an alcove that apparently housed nothing but a golden plate.

"May I?" Quartz yanked the gun out of the startled Carla's hand and fired a series of bullets at the seemingly empty space.

It all happened in the blink of an eye.

Something flashed, and the bullets ricocheted off an invisible shield, hitting the plinth and missing Quench by a few inches. An oval shield rolled out of nowhere, circling for a few seconds on its rim and finally fell with a metallic bang.

Quench again took aim, but before he could have pulled the trigger, a male voice shouted: "Don't shoot! We surrender!"

Carla and her metal men stared at the still seemingly empty spot, and gasped as one single entity as some foil-like material fell to the ground to reveal a creature with a similar shield in hand like the one that had fallen. Next to the creature another one appeared with no shield in hand - the fallen one must have belonged to her. She dropped her weapon to the ground and her companion followed suit.

The now unarmed creatures were both tiny, about three feet tall, and had funny, pointed ears.

Carla took a deep breath. "What… what are these things?"


	19. All it takes is guts

**Author's note**: congrats to _septempopuli, Bard's Soul, C-chan1, Mistri, Tonks' Admirer_ and _Cysberspace_ for coming the closest to finding out who the creatures at the end of chapter 18 were. I loved the idea that some people thought they were Aztec fairies... but no, there's no such thing as Aztec fairy.

Before you read this chapter, I must remind you that I'm **not** an action writer. Writing action always gives me trouble, so the 'day of reckoning' sort of chapters have always been the most difficult for me to write - like chapter 30 in The Greatest Scandal, chapter 33 in The Greatest Shame, chapter 29 in The Greatest Enemy and chapter 28 in Fates. In this fic, this chapter was the hardest, and it took me the _longest ever_: one whole month. This single chapter. And still, I have doubts about it. So please, don't be harsh with me and respect the amount of work I put into it.

**The ten words from the sequel **(yes, only ten, because it was hard enough for me to get ten words that wake interest but don't reveal too much, and I couldn't fine any more. I could have written a hundred but then I would have had to put in words like 'Artemis', 'Mulch' or 'fairy', and that's completely superfluous):  
1. birth  
2. wedding  
3. funeral  
4. Roman  
5. grandmother  
6. archeologist  
7. Hungary  
8. pseudonym  
9. drunk  
10. Attila

_otaku22_: hobbits? LOL, noooo.

_Chaos:_ yes, exams didn't let me update. And thanks, I passed the bookkeeping one.

_HarriettaPotter_: no, I haven't read the book you mentioned. We in Hungary get most books years after they're published in the USA...

_Aurum Potestas Est_: dunno what sort of version you read of Eternity Code, but in my version the Fowl family motto is Aurum Est Potestas. My friend Michael, who speaks Latin, said that Aurum Potestas Est would be grammatically better, but Aurum Est Potestas is also acceptable.

_septempopuli_: you must be very good at counting then, because I needed about half a minute (or even more) to establish that 354x26 is 9204... I just can't count in head properly. I've always had problems with math...

_C-chan1_: I guess the reason why the pyramid-withouth-labyrinth made you laugh was because I wrote a labyrinth into the Khufu pyramid in 'The Greatest Scandal'. Am I right? Or is there another reason?

_Keiko_: I'm glad you find the new model endearing. I'm just trying to make him not _too_ endearing... Btw, I like your email addy ;)

_Cassy:_ actually, my greatest dream is to be a published author some day. But for that, I will need to make up characters of my own, and that's a difficult business. Much more difficult than playing with other people's characters.

_Spooks-A-Lot:_ your review made me blush. Thanks :)

_Lily Jane_: I'm not sure I'd be happy about an AF movie. It could turn out really disillusioning...

_AprilEchidna:_ you know, you're the first reviewer who's HAPPY about Arty not getting his intelligence back...

_Epsilon2Delta:_ you're one of the very few people who guessed that about the drink. Feel proud :)

_IhateBeetroot:_ if so, then stop reading right now, because Arty WON'T get his intellect back. Sorry. I agree that Arty has feelings, but he has hidden them so long that he doesn't know how to react upon them, so we could say that emotionally he's very inexperienced.

_Lady Emerald Black_: believe me, it hurts me too that I took Arty's intelligence, and it hurts even more not to give it back to him, but I can't. It wouldn't fit the fic if I gave it back to him. I can't explain why, it would just ruin it.

_HollyShortgirl_: yes and no. Partly.

_ChaosDestria_: the Aztec 'royal' family have had a role already: the chief/king of the Aztecs and his son (Emerald Snake) and his daughter (Fragrant Flower). I'm glad you think A/H is realistic in this fic :) Patrick is wittier than Artemis now, but not necessarily superior. It depends on your point of view.

_callmequeen_: thank you, but I doubt I write like Eoin Colfer...

_Emaraldgreengurl_: I deliberately misspelled flu, because I thought that Root would misspell Mud Man words.

_Mistri, Tonks' Admirer:_ it was indeed just a few (a few dozen) IQ points of loss. I expect his IQ must have been around 170-180, and now it's around 120. I'd never make Arty as dumb as poor dear Forrest... (love that movie, btw). Holly thought that waiting a bit more with the ritual wouldn't be a problem (book one), and she was wrong, as it turned out to be a catastrophe. I too hate Married with children, but a few friends of mine love it (I never understood them). I just thought Juliet would be the type to love it too.

Also thanks to: _Little Green Person, Holly Rox, animezebra, almostinsane, ashu, BluAyu, Fleury, Teya Yashitoda, APERFECTATTITUDE, Black Aliss, Kyia, Draco's Secret Lover, Klayandria, neutralgal, Cyberspace, Bard's Soul, Ria, adcohen, BeatlesLover, Rhauth, Demosthenes and Locke, WackedOutPet13, kirby freak, Snuffles208, Kristus Vesanus, utena, VampyGenieWitch, luckyducky7too, The OddBird, Orka, jo, shadow of the black abyss, The flickering flame, Cherri J.M. Ookami, TrunkZy, Kelaal, yorkvillebird, lyrabelaqua _

* * *

**

Chapter 19

**

**

All it takes is guts

**

"The correct question is 'who', not 'what'," one of the pointed-eared creatures said with a cynical grin, his blue eyes shifting from Quartz to Carla, then back to Quartz. The creature's face was stubbly, framed by jet-black locks, and he was wearing a tight fitting, pale-green suit, just like his companion. "An animal could be defined as a 'what', but not a fairy," he carried on, "and we happen to be fairies."

"Huh?" was all Carla could comment.

"I advise you to close your mouth, lady, gaping like a fish destroys your natural charm," the male fairy replied.

"What are you doing here?" Quartz barked, his hands clenched into fists. He was nervous, angry, but slightly relieved as well. This sarcastic little fellow here didn't look a thing like a LEP officer, despite his suit that seemed to be made after the usual LEP design. His companion, on the other hand, looked pretty much like the famous Commander Short…

"What am I doing here?" the male fairy asked with a wide smirk, "Apparently I'm trying to rescue Miss Short's son… At least _she_ thinks so…" He glanced at the said female next to him.

Said female scowled back at him. "What do you mean, Timmy?"

"What do I mean, Holly dear?" The stubbly fairy sneaked an arm around Miss Short's shoulders. "I meant that you're too naive, honey. Did you think I'd come along on this risky journey just to save your son?" He let out a cold laugh.

The female fairy tossed his arm away and rounded on him, shaking from head to toe. "Timmy… Timmy, you didn't… didn't…?"

"…betray you?" the fairy called Timmy finished her sentence. "Ooooh, but yes, I did. After all that little Opal told me about her brother's plans, I saw no other way. I adore you, but I adore Opal and gold even more, you know…"

Holly's eyes were sparkling with fury, her breath coming in ragged gasps. "So Opal's in this too?"

"I am," a mellifluous voice spoke up, and a third pointy-eared creature walked into the chamber. She must have been hiding somewhere in the corridor, shielded. She gracefully strolled into the circle of metal men, flicking her golden locks behind her shoulders. Tiny she might have been, her appearance induced a few sighs among the bulky men. Though there were a few dirt-flecks on her creamy skin and some mud stuck in her glorious hair, she looked like the pixie-version of a Barbie doll. The blonde goddess with a perfect figure and enchantingly blue eyes… Every male's greatest dream and deepest desire.

She walked up to the dumbfounded Quartz and presented him with a heart-melting smile. "Hi, bro. You look nice as a Mud Man."

"Op… Opal…" the fairy-turned-Mud Man stammered. "What are you doing here? Out of prison?"

"Prison?" Carla interjected, but her comment went unnoticed by the onlookers.

"I got out, dear brother," Opal smiled up at Quartz. "With Timmy's help."

Quartz glanced at the aforementioned fairy. The aforementioned fairy grinned back at him with a smugness somehow familiar to him… He couldn't have explained why, but this fairy reminded him of someone, even though he was sure he had never met him in person. What he found most confusing about the fairy was that he couldn't decide which species of fairies he belonged to. Certainly he couldn't be a centaur, as he had two legs and no tail, but he seemed a little bit like a mixture of an elf, a pixie and a gnome, even though he most resembled an elf.

"Timmy? Who is this Timmy?" Quartz grunted.

"Timmy Flow, Private at the LEP, sometimes stationed at Haven, sometimes at Howler's Peak, and the Commander's… um… do I still count as your lover, Hollykins?" The 'elf' said, casting a sideways glance at the redheaded fairy then offered Quartz his hand. Quartz did not take it. The fairy didn't seem discouraged and carried on. "Some friends call me Cash, though, because I soooo love money. You may call me Cash too. Cash Flow."

Quench eyed the weird elf dubiously. There was something funny about him for sure, and not only his stupid nick name. That eerie resemblance… where had he seen those eyes before?

"What… what is going on here?" Miss Frazetti interjected, but still no one cared to answer her question.

"Why did you betray me, Timmy?" Holly asked, tears brimming her eyes.

"Why, sweetie?" the elf replied haughtily, "because otherwise you wouldn't have brought me along here."

"So… it was all about the gold, wasn't it?"

"Exactly, dear." The male elf reached out to stroke her cheek, but she withdrew, her face revealing nothing but disgust.

"I'm NOT dear to you anymore," she hissed, turning away from him, her eyes scanning the crowd and finally stopping on a boy wearing a funny cap that hid most of his ears. "Oh, Patrick, forgive me, please, I tried…"

The boy shook his head. "Don't worry, Mum, I'm not blaming you."

"Now, really!" Carla stamped her foot. "What on earth is going on here? Who are these… fairies and what do they want here with _my_ gold? How do you know them, Quench? The blonde girl says you're her brother, so are you a fairy too? An overgrown fairy, perhaps? And what about the boy? If he's the redhead's son, then he's a fairy too!"

"Spot on, madam," replied Patrick, pulling the cap off his head, his pointy ears springing free.

Carla thought she was losing it. She didn't understand a thing. "Would someone, please, tell me what's going on?"

"Just a bit of a genocide, madam, nothing serious, I can assure you," Timmy said calmly.

"Genocide?" Carla gasped. "What…?"

"Let me explain…" Quartz waved. "The point is that I hate the fairies. Nasty little buggers who made my life a hell. I want to get rid of them for good, and the idol is going to help me. True, I will have to sacrifice the boy in the process, but as they say, in order to achieve greatly, you need to make sacrifices…"

"Does that mean that you're going to kill off every… um, fairy, with the help of this idol?" Carla said dubiously. She began to think this was all a nightmare and she'd wake up soon and have a good laugh at the work of her overworking imagination.

"Exactly," Opal took the word. "And I should be very, very mad at you for this, little brother!" She wagged a finger at Quartz. "Leaving your loving sister out of all the fun! Lucky that the LEP traced the kidnap back to you and I put two and two together concerning the Aztecs… Lucky that Cash here graciously agreed to spring me from Howler's Peak and let me follow him and the Commander in a camfoil…"

"What? You, coming across the jungle and surviving eight bloody tasks wearing a camfoil?" Quartz crossed his arms. "Somehow I don't believe you, Opal."

The pixie fluttered her eyelashes at him in a would-be-innocent way. "Why, I became a survivor at Howler's Peak… those evil, evil jailers even made us mine coal and various horrible things there… I became a fit fairy who fears nothing and is willing to cross a jungle full of dangers just to help her only brother… certainly in the hope of some… reward."

"I don't need your help, Opal," Quartz grunted.

"Oh, yes, you do…" she cooed. "After all, you're overall a peaceful person, beloved bro. You've never killed anyone before… I know you're ready to do a mass-murder now, but… you'd be happier to do it without dirtying your hands, I presume. Are you brave enough to slice up an innocent little child's chest? Are you?" She stared deeply into his eyes, until he could no longer stand her glance and felt forced to look away. "See, you can't. I know you, Quartz. Your hand shall waver at the last minute and you'll be weak… but if we were holding that knife together… Certainly Cash could help as well… The three of us wouldn't make a mistake…"

"…and of course you two would survive as well," Quartz said grumpily.

"Obviously we would…" Timmy chimed in, "after all, as the legend says, the one who strikes down with the knife will be spared. I believe that's valid even if you're trying to kill your own people… the fairy People will die, but the three of us shall live."

"But what about us, boss?" Reed, Quartz's gnome guard spoke up, his voice shaking. "Fern and me? My family? You… you promised me that… that…"

Quench rolled his eyes. "I lied. Or rather, put it like this: I didn't tell you the whole truth. But if you wish, you can hold that bloody knife too."

"So the five of us will be holding it at once?" Opal asked. "Isn't that a bit too much?"

"How nice that you're discussing how many of you are going to murder me," Patrick said impassively. "Why not replay the ides of March? Just pass that knife to each other and all of you get to stab me."

"I… I don't like this, boss," Fern said, just as shakily as the other guard. "I don't want to kill the boy… and neither does Reed, do you?"

Reed shook his head and sent his employer a questioning look.

Quartz took a deep breath. "Remember the pledge you made when you entered my service. Do you remember it?"

Fern hung his head and nodded. "Yes, sir. We swore to serve you, whatever happens, sir."

"Correct. And a fairy always keeps his word when he made a pledge, right, Reed?" Quench turned to his other bodyguard.

Reed bit into his lower lip, hesitating. "Yes, boss," he sighed finally. "We're your servants, come what may."

"That's more like it!" Quartz clasped his hands delightedly. These stupid fairy rules could sometimes come in handy… "Chin up, boys, after all, we can sacrifice the boy together, and you shall survive."

"And they will surely want to share our gold with us," Carla snapped at Quartz. "You promised me the whole treasure, Quench, and I'm not giving a single golden spoon up to these… _fairies_… or whatever they are!"

"I'm sure that a sensible lady like you could be satisfied with… 90 percent of the treasure," Timmy interjected with a smile. "Opal, me and these two gentlemen," he pointed at Fern and Reed, "only need that small portion to keep us happy. Don't you agree, honey?" He looked at the blonde pixie standing next to him.

Opal sent him the smirk of a true accomplice. "Of course, sweetie."

"Just before you two melt in a puddle of mushiness," Holly hissed, "let me remind you that as soon as you perform the sacrifice, you will remain the only fairies on Earth! Where will you spend your d'Arvitting money then, huh?"

"But that's obvious, isn't it, Holly dear?" The stubbly elf said with a vampire-smile, "We're going to turn into Mud Men like Mr Quench and his guards and we're going to spend the rest of our lives on a beach at the Bahamas." He turned to Quartz. "I expect you have saved the boy's notes about the Mud Man making formula?"

"Of course I have," the masked fairy grunted. "And you expect me to share it with you?"

"Exactly." Cash nodded. "I hope we can reach an agreement concerning the gold, madam," he addressed Miss Frazetti.

Chewing her lower lip, Carla examined the tiny figure for a few seconds. Anyone could have guessed that she was having a serious inner struggle. What to do? Whom to believe? What if these fairy creatures betrayed her like they apparently betrayed each other? Could she trust _anyone_ here?

Her gaze accidentally shifted to Patrick Short. The boy was standing there as impassively as always. Nothing could affect this boy. Not even the sight of his defeated and humbled mother, not even the knowledge of certain death could make him lose his temper. Casual as ever, cold as ever. Unbelievably calm.

Carla wasn't a person easily shaken - most of the time she managed to keep her cool head, but she knew that if _she_ had been the one whom half a dozen fairies wanted to kill, she'd be at least slightly unnerved. But the boy looked as self-confident as ever. Did he know something? Something that she didn't know? Something that not even Quench knew- Carla wondered.

"All right, then," she replied finally. "I will be satisfied with ninety percent of the loot."

"Wonderful," Timmy said in a business-like tone. "It seems we have reached a perfect agreement, don't you think, Mr Quench?"

Quartz reluctantly nodded. He still didn't know what to make of this weird half-elf-half-something-else fairy, and he didn't know what to make of his sister either. Opal had been the bane of his life, after all. She had been one of the main reasons why Quartz had wanted to wipe out the fairy People in the first place! Why should he let her live? Then again, would Frazetti agree to have Opal and this Flow bloke killed? Quartz didn't know what to do. He had planned everything so nicely, so thoroughly, and then his smart-aleck sister finds out about the details he'd never told her and comes here to ruin everything!

"Well, Quench?" Carla spoke up in a slightly nervous voice. "What's the next step?"

"Give me the…" Quartz began, pointing at the idol, but Timmy cut in:

"The next step? It's the Drink of Alliance, of course!"

"The what?" one of Frazetti's gorillas blurted out.

"The Drink of Alliance," Timmy repeated with an expression suggesting that he didn't understand how _anyone_ could be this ignorant. "It's a fairy custom. When fairies become allies, they share a drink."

"Couldn't we put it off to another day?" Quench hissed. He wanted to get the whole killing over with - the sooner the better, before he changed his mind… _Change his mind?_ How on Earth could it even occur to him that he would ever change his mind? He had kidnapped the boy and suffered the inconveniences of this bloody jungle for a reason, and he would not be giving it up for anything! No way!

"You know we cannot, it's a tradition set in The Book," Flow replied, as though explaining something to a two-year-old. "Even a fairy who disrespects other fairies as much as you do, is to live according to the Book."

Quartz was getting really nervous. What if they missed the moon shining onto the sacrificial altar just because they were following a stupid fairy tradition? And by the way, wouldn't fairy traditions become superfluous once the fairy People were annihilated? Quartz was quite sure he was not going to live as a fairy-law-abiding person after he did away with his species. But until then… "Okay, okay, let's do it then, but be quick. The moon's rising."

Timmy cast a cursory glance out the small window, then shrugging, he walked over to the throne-like chair nearby and flopped down into it. To the casual observer he gave the impression of a tired fairy who didn't even mind dirtying his clothes with the centimetre-thick layer of dust on the stone-chair. Funnily this chair was the only object - besides the sacrificial altar - that was covered with dust and even a few cobwebs. The idol's plinth and all the gold around glittered gloriously, as though some magic was keeping dust off them.

Slumped back in the chair, the fairy pulled a small bottle of Atlantean Brandy out of his breast pocket and took a swig. "To our friendship. Let it flourish forever," he offered it to Quench.

Without thinking, the masked fairy swallowed a small amount of the Brandy then handed it to Opal.

"No thanks, I'm allergic to all kinds of alcohol," she replied. "I get horrible pink spots if I drink some."

Quartz's eyes narrowed as he examined his sister's face. Could it be possible that she was having him on? Could this be a trap? Nah, why would it be? How could it be? No fairy laws forbade drinking alcohol with a fellow-fairy…

Still, there was a strange foreboding that just wouldn't leave his mind… Suspiciously, he glanced at that Flow person, who was eyeing him from the dirty chair, his blue eyes twinkling with mirth. That twinkle scared Quartz. It was an evil twinkle. A malicious one. Paired with the strange fairy's vampire-smile, that twinkle gave Quench the creeps. That smile was familiar too, not only those eyes… Where had he seen such malice in someone's expression before? Certainly, Opal as a child had quite often looked like that, but he was sure the weird fairy didn't remind him of his sister.

Who then?

"And now, all of you will listen to me," Timmy said.

"And why would we?" asked Carla. Quench might have become allies with this strange little fairy, but she had nothing to do with him, so why should she listen to anything he had to say?

"Yes, why would we?" Quartz added. His gnome guards nodded vigorously.

Flow straightened his back and looked around at his audience with the air of a king glancing down at his underlings. "You, Miss Frazetti, will listen to me in your own interest, because if you don't, you will suffer a most horrible death. As for you, Mr Quench, and your toadies - you will listen to me because I order you to do so."

"Order me?" Quench let out a shrill laugh. "Who do you think you are?"

"The current owner of this pyramid," came the nonchalant answer.

"The what?"

Flow's face tucked into a satisfied smirk. "Believe it or not, the throne I'm sitting in symbolises the rule over Second Tenochtitlan. The Aztec priests who built this pyramid gave the throne magic powers. The first person who is apt enough to fight his way through the obstacles is, in the priests' belief, worthy of becoming the owner of the place. All he needs to do to really own the place, is to be the first to take a place in this chair. And now, as the owner, I can order every single fairy here to do as I say. Bodily harm is something I forbid you to commit against me."

The expression of confusion appeared on everyone's face, but it was the most outstanding on Holly Short's. "This is something I forgot to mention, Holly," Timmy told her, seeing her befuddled expression. "Obsidian Snake told me about the throne's magic while-"

"…while I was visiting the loo, I presume," the fairy girl continued his sentence, barely able to hide a grin.

"Exactly." Flow nodded.

Quench was losing it. "So… so you were working together with her all the time? You were just acting when you made me think you'd betrayed her?"

"Spot on," Timmy replied, leaning back into the stone chair, putting his fingertips together. He looked like the epitome of self-confidence.

"And… and Opal?" Quartz turned to his sister, who gave him her most angelic smile.

"I'm with them too, bro. Sorry."

"What was this whole show good for then?" Carla Frazetti spoke up. She didn't know what to think of the whole situation. Quench was her ally, thus Quench's enemies were supposed to be her enemies too. However, this strange little bloke here had told her to listen to him in her own interest… For the first time in her life she didn't know what to think and whom to believe.

"But… but we don't need to obey you, even if you're… you're the owner," Quartz stammered. "This rule only works for human dwellings!"

Timmy's eyes narrowed as his expression turned even more smug than it already was. "Who said I'm _not_ a human, Quartz?"

Quench's eyes widened, his mouth fell open and all he could do was gape like a fish, but uttering coherent words was beyond his capabilities.

The weird little fairy stood up, his hands clasped behind his back, his head held up like some royalty. He looked as though he owned the place. Perhaps because he indeed did.

"Let me introduce myself - my _true_ self, to you all," he said. "Artemis Fowl the Second."

Quartz still couldn't find his voice, so it was Carla who first spoke. "Fowl? _That_ Artemis Fowl?"

"If you refer to the Artemis Fowl you sent Loafers McGuire and Mo Digence to kidnap, then yes, that's me," came the casual answer.

Carla knitted her eyebrows. "But that kid… that was a human. You… you definitely don't look like one."

"Obviously I don't." Artemis shrugged and glanced at Patrick. "It so happens that my son here invented a formula to disguise fairies as humans. All I did was invent an antidote that both reverses the effect of his formula and is capable of turning humans into fairy-replicas. If I drank Patrick's substance now, I'd regain my normal, handsome human looks."

An eerie smile was spreading on Patrick's face. Not a surprised look, but a satisfied one. It was no surprise to him that this 'fairy' was his father. He had recognised him the first second he'd seen him. Even with pointy ears and stubble, Artemis's resemblance to the thirteen-year-old boy in Foaly's archive was uncanny.

"Your son?" Carla blinked.

"Why, who did you think he inherited his brains from?" said Artemis, glancing at Patrick, and the boy would have sworn that that slight twitch of his father's right eye was a wink.

A funny feeling filled the boy's whole being. He had longed to know his real parents from an early age, and ever since he knew _who_ his real parents were, he had wondered about his father a lot. He had known that this Artemis Fowl was a Mud Man who had once kidnapped his mother and was obviously an enemy to the People, but he couldn't help thinking that Fowl must be an intriguing person. If for nothing else, then for his intellect. Patrick had never found his match in intelligence and had wondered what it would be like to meet his father and talk to him… Would it be a disappointing or an uplifting experience? Would he enjoy the discussion with Artemis about astrophysics, biochemistry, linear programming or Maslow's hierarchy of needs? Patrick had no idea, but he hoped he'd have a chance to try it. His father was here, after all. He'd come to save him. Come to think of it, he cannot be such an evil person if he was willing to risk his life to rescue someone whom he'd never even met…

For some reason Patrick had a feeling that he would have no problem growing fond of Artemis Fowl, Mud Man or not.

Quartz had finally regained his voice. "Your… your son…" he breathed, his mismatched eyes jumping from Artemis to Patrick, then from Patrick to Artemis, and back again. Now he at least understood why he'd found this strange 'fairy' so familiar, why _his eyes_ were so familiar. Young Short's eyes were the same deep blue and had the same ever-contemplative quality. If he looked at father and son a bit more thoroughly, Quartz had to admit that even the elegant line of their noses and their trademark vampire-smile was the same. This Fowl person couldn't ever have denied being the father.

"Yes." Artemis nodded. "I'm his father. And I've come for him. I'm not letting you slice his chest up on that stupid altar."

Quartz's eyes narrowed. That was an order. And if the young man was speaking the truth about owning the pyramid then he was to obey. But what if this little bloke was lying and the Aztec priests had never cast any magic on this stone chair?

"What was this whole ruse good for, then?" Carla said, getting frustrated by the lack of information. She was used to learning all necessary details in time and being two steps ahead of everyone else. Now, however, everyone else seemed to be two steps ahead of _her_. "You turned into a fairy? I don't see why it was necessary, Mr Fowl. I heard legends about your intellect, but I don't get why you'd want to put up a seemingly unnecessary show like this."

"You don't get it?" Artemis said with a pitiful pout. "Surely because you can't think with the head of a genius. Let me enlighten you, then. I needed to turn into a fairy-replica because I wanted you to notice Holly and me once you entered the chamber. However, I knew that if you spotted me in my original form, you'd have thought I was competition and you would have immediately fired at me without letting me to speak. I know relic hunters, Miss Frazetti, and I know how their brains work. I did not feel like getting shot by you. I wanted a chance to talk… and to lull our friend Quartz into the belief that I'm on his side…" He cast a side-ways glance at the masked fairy, "…and to make him drink Brandy with me."

There was a sharp intake of breath - both Quench and his guards had gasped.

Carla furrowed her brow. "What's the big thing about you drinking Brandy with him?"

"According to Chi Lun's Almanac of the People, once a fairy has taken spirits with the Mud People, they are forever dead to their brothers and sisters," Artemis replied. "So, Quartz here is no longer regarded as a fairy by other fairies. This rule of the People is superior to the rule of pledge. Thus, these two gnomes who pledged Quench loyalty, are free to abandon him. Free to oppose him." He gave Reed and Fern a challenging look. "Do you intend to continue serving a shamed one? A creature no longer worthy of being called a fairy?"

The guards exchanged dark glances then looked at their master, then finally at Artemis. Their expression was enough of an answer to Quartz.

"Double-crosser," he hissed at Artemis, his hands clenched into fists.

"Double-crosser? I take it as a compliment," the young man replied smugly.

"I'm just wondering," Carla interjected, "why you didn't try and shoot Quench from behind that invisibility cloak-like thing? It would have been easier and no transformations would have been needed."

Artemis gave the woman a belittling look. She was still trying to prove that he had acted insensibly. That was something he did not tolerate. Artemis Fowl II never acted insensibly. Well, perhaps when it came to Holly… but that was a wholly different matter.

"One: if I'd fired from behind a camouflage foil, you would have fired back randomly and you and all your metal men firing at once would very likely have resulted in Holly or me getting hurt. Two: I'm a man of strategy and brains, not a man of guns. I despise violence. Not even a filth like Quartz Quench is worth dirtying my hands with blood."

Carla regarded Artemis with a contemplative expression. "I understand your reasoning, Mr Fowl. However, you seem to forget that this 'filth' is still my accomplice and I still have half a dozen metal men around who are ready to shoot you any moment I motion them to. So you'd better not be playing with me. I don't tolerate mere threats like trusting Quench will result in me suffering a terrible death."

"I've never been playing with _you_, Miss Frazetti," Artemis replied. "On the contrary - I meant every word of it. Trust him and help him if you want to die. Listen to me if you want to live."

Carla folded her arms, chewing her lips. Why should she believe this little bloke who claimed to be a human but looked like a black-haired and stubbly version of Frodo Baggins? Why should she believe him after he'd introduced himself with a false identity first? And what if his first identity was the real one and this one the false one? And if this was _indeed_ Artemis Fowl, how was she to know that he wasn't trying to manipulate her to his own vile ends? After all, young Fowl was famous for his genius and ability to reach his aims by bulldozing over anyone who was unfortunate enough to stand in his way. But what if he was telling the truth now? What if Quench was the one she shouldn't trust?

A real dilemma…

"Right, Fowl." She nodded. "Fire away."

Artemis shot Quartz a side-ways glance that carried the silent message '_You're defeated. Completely_'. Seeing angry frustration that could as easily have been a death wish in the masked man's eyes, Artemis looked away. As his glance travelled back to Frazetti, his eyes locked with Holly's for a second. That single second was enough to sweep him away by the tidal wave of her emotions. So many things reflected in her hazel eyes: worry, hope, support… and love. This was not the same love he'd seen in her eyes right before his mind-wipe. Not that 'we're friends and I'll miss you' sort of love. This was much, much more than that. This love gave him heart and filled his whole being with some unknown-to-him joy. It had nothing to do with lust like when he'd seen her in the lake or when she'd healed the wound on his thigh… He was sure it wasn't desire, because she looked as non-desirable at the moment as possible, with her face dirty, her hair messy… For once he didn't see the pretty female in her - he saw a soul mate. _His_ soul mate.

In the bowels of an Aztec pyramid, in the circle of a bunch of enemies, he'd found love. Love that had been there for a while, hovering close to his thoughts, he just hadn't noticed it. Now he had.

But he would not show it. This was no the time for romance. This was the time of cold-headed, rational thinking.

"Well, Miss Frazetti," he spoke up, "it all began with our friend Quartz Quench deciding to do away with the fairies whom he hates with all his heart. Not that I don't understand him… it's the 'Phantom of the Opera' effect, you know. He was abused from a young age due to his not exactly accepted-by-society appearance. That's something he couldn't do anything about, and I'm not blaming him for developing hatred for those who mistreated him for his… difference. However, this is still no real reason for wanting to annihilate every single fairy, even those who never even met him, thus never mistreated him. Is it no reason to condemn a whole race of people to death, is it, Quench?" He shot the masked fairy a piercing glance. Quench's eyes twitched but he didn't answer.

Careful to avoid Holly's glance (fearing it would overwhelm him in a way that would ruin his 'cold and calculating' appearance), he turned back to Carla.

"The point is that our friend Quartz has so far been ignorant of one teensy but important detail - the fact that the boy he intends to sacrifice is half-fairy, half-_human_. Since the people of the sacrificed person will be annihilated, it is possible that he will accidentally wipe out the humans as well in his eagerness to wipe out the fairies. He might end up annihilating both species, and then he will remain the only sentient being on Earth, ruling over a bunch of animals. A real Tarzan, I'm telling you… Hey, Quench, you could perhaps find yourself a monkey friend to play Cheetah?"

Quartz's lips twitched but he deliberately did not look at Artemis.

A few seconds of silence ensued. Everyone in the chamber seemed to be processing the information Artemis had just shared with them.

"So," Carla was again the first to regain her voice. "I wonder whether you have indeed been ignorant of this little detail, Mr Quench…"

"Of course I have been," the masked fairy grunted, focusing on an empty spot on the chamber's stone wall.

"Perhaps." The woman nodded with a strict expression. "But why do I have the feeling that even if you'd known about these things, it wouldn't have stopped you from pulling off your plan?"

Quartz still didn't turn to face her, and it was all she needed as a reply.

"I should have listened to my godfather," she said coldly. "He always said one should choose one's business associates more carefully. And I let your offer dazzle me. I let the glamour of gold rob me of my judgement. Now I'm grateful to Mr Fowl for intervening and I whole-heartedly support him. If he wants his son back, so be it. But you… you don't deserve to live. If Mr Fowl is unwilling to take part in punishing you, he doesn't need to. My metal men will do the job."

The said gorillas immediately pointed their guns at Quartz, who cringed at the sight of the six heavily armed people.

"No!" Artemis held out a hand, stepping in front of Quench. "We don't need to be this rude. And death wouldn't even be a proper punishment for a vile person like him. I suggest Holly arrest him and the Council will sentence him to a life sentence at Howler's Peak."

"I hope they won't be putting him in the same cell with me," Opal chimed in.

"I can assure you they won't," Holly replied, smiling at the pixie for the first time in her life. "I'll pull a few strings."

Opal smiled back - a genuine smile. A rare thing from a cynical and calculating person like her.

"The joys of being a Commander, huh?" Artemis grinned at the blonde fairy, then turned back to the mobster. "Miss Frazetti, believe us, a life sentence will be much worse for our traitorous friend than death. Much, much worse."

"Yes, perhaps…" Carla mused. "Right. You get to put him in prison and may leave with your son." She glanced at Patrick and the boy thought she was almost smiling. Truth was that the woman felt relieved about Patrick surviving this whole mess. She'd grown too fond of him to let Quench murder him in cold blood.

"Will do." Artemis nodded. "However, before we leave, we need to subject you and your people to mind-wipe."

"Mind what?"

Artemis took a deep breath. He knew Carla wouldn't like this and might even put up resistance, but there was nothing else they could do. "The only reason why the fairy People have managed to survive since we humans took over the Earth, is that they have avoided contact with us, and when contact was unavoidable, they wiped their presence from our memory. We can't let you and your metal men go off telling stories about the fairies, madam. I hope you understand."

"What I understand is that you want to rid me of my memories," the Mud Woman replied coldly. "Care to enlighten me what this whole madness is about?"

Artemis opened his mouth to reply, but Holly waved to silence him and stepped forward, looking Carla in the eyes. "There are two types of mind-wipe," she explained, her voice sweet and soothing, thanks to the _mesmer_. "The block-wipe erases all memories for the time interval set by us. The fine-tune wipe, however, only erases the memories that pertain to the fairy People. The block-wipe can be performed here with a small device we've brought along for the journey. You will lose consciousness during the process, and by the time you wake up, you will be transported back to Chicago or wherever you want, in perfect health, but with absolutely no memories of the past one or two weeks. For the fine-tune wipe we'd need to take you to our city and transport you to Chicago while you're unconscious, but since any strong stimulus might bring your erased memories back, the fine-tune version is too risky in your case. You must understand what exposing our world would lead to. That would be the end for us. You don't want to kill us all, Carla, do you?"

The woman nodded absent-mindedly, her face carefree, her always strict features soft. She wanted to agree with the fairy - the fairy was right, after all… it felt great to agree with her…

"Don't listen to them!" Quartz snapped.

The mobster shuddered, as though waking from a deep slumber. "What?"

"They're hypnotising you, Miss Frazetti! They want to make sure you completely forget the gold that is rightfully yours!"

Frowning, the woman tried to collect her thoughts and separate them from the ones planted into her mind by the tiny redhead. "Is that so?" She glowered at the fairies and the Mud Man-turned-fairy. "Taking me for a fool, are you?" Her voice sounded dangerous. Sharp, piercing, freezing.

"No, we just-" Holly began, but the words stuck in her throat as, at a wave of Frazetti's hand, six loaded guns pointed at her and her companions.

She swallowed the lump that had all of a sudden formed in her throat and cast a sideways glance at Artemis. The young man next to her wore an expression that she knew well enough - the expression that he always wore when he was thinking of a plan to save the day. However, as the seconds passed, Artemis's face turned darker and darker. His mind wasn't providing him with the solution. It no longer worked like it had a few hours earlier. He was no longer a genius. He was like any other people - nothing special, nothing outstanding. Normal. Average. And Holly knew that average people usually had a problem with quick-thinking in life-endangering situations. Their minds simply received a short-circuit. The greatest problem was that she was dealing with the same problem. Where was her usual wittiness that helped her get into LEPRecon as the first ever female? Where were the brainwaves she'd used to free herself out of her concrete cell in Fowl Manor or saved Root from falling into the magma when they were heading for Los Angeles? Where were the…?

The musclemen primed their guns with a loud click that echoed throughout the chamber.

Holly heaved a deep sigh, willing herself to stop feeling sorry for herself. If someone, then Artemis deserved pity more than she did. He'd lost more. He'd lost the quality that made him unique. He'd lost his real self. And for what? For this? To get shot down by six gorilla-look-a-likes?

Artemis deserved better than that. He deserved to return to Ireland, to start a family and live happily ever after… Holly caught herself wishing he'd get the chance for it - to be happy with someone… _anyone_. She'd die willingly and gladly knowing that he's safe and happy…

Suddenly she felt someone's hand slip into hers and squeeze it gently.

_So we're dying together, aren't we, Artemis?_ - she thought bitterly. However, his hand gripping hers filled her with some calm acceptance. _So be it_.

"Do with us whatever you wish, Miss Frazetti," Holly spoke up. To her own surprise her voice was steady, not a bit wavering. "Kill us if you will, but spare Patrick. Let him return to our folk. Grab your gold and forget about the fairies."

The black-haired young man next to her opened his mouth but didn't speak right away. For a few seconds he seemed to be struggling with himself, but finally he uttered one single word - a word that he had very likely never uttered before: "Please."

Carla regarded the tiny folks through narrowed eyes. At a small motion of her hand the metal men would fire, she knew that. All she needed to do was wave. Certainly she'd spare the boy, she'd always wanted him to survive. But what to do with his parents? What to do with the whole fairy nation? She couldn't let this immense wealth slip through her fingers! She hadn't come through a bloody jungle, fought her way across eight damned tasks and lost several good employees just to get mind-wiped and forget about it all!

For a second the woman felt like kicking herself. Why was she hesitating? She hadn't become a mobster to miss great business opportunities because of moral scruples!

She glanced at her men - they were all awaiting her motion, lined up like a firing squad, their guns pointing at the tiny people.

She leisurely lifted her arm. All she needed to do was let it fall again, and her men would fire. She wouldn't admit to herself that she felt sorry for Artemis. The young man was said to be a genius. The world will be missing his intellect… but she had no choice. She had no intention of subjecting herself to this mind-wipe thingie!

She didn't feel sorry for the redhead, though. This one had been hypnotising her, for heaven's sake! As for the blonde pixie… Carla felt some sort of revulsion when she looked at her. She had always despised Barbie-look-a-likes. And Quench… well, if someone then he _did_ deserve to die. He was nothing but a nasty piece of filth… no one would grieve after him.

She had made her decision. And if Carla Frazetti made up her mind about something, then no power on earth could deter her.

Willing herself not to look at Patrick - she couldn't have stood the glance of a child whose parents she was just about to have murdered - she let her arm fall.

At the same second several thin beams of light crossed the chamber, hitting the metal men's guns one after the other with such amazing speed that they seemed to meld into one beam only. Perhaps only filmed and viewed as stills would one have been able to tell the beams from each other.

All heads turned in the direction the attack had come from. In the doorframe stood a vicious-looking blonde woman with the expression 'hurt Artemis and I'll eviscerate you all' on her face. On her left stood an elderly fairy, equally armed, and on her right a dwarf who seemed highly familiar to the mobster.

"M…Mo Digence?" Carla breathed.

"In person, Miss Frazetti." The dwarf grinned at his one-time employer.

"But… but you're dead!"

"Oh yeah, Pex and Chips thought I were." Mulch rolled his eyes. "But then again, they thought Barney was the greatest hero ever…"

Carla was close to going mad. Whenever it seemed that things were going according to plan, something occurred and screwed it up. She seriously didn't know what to make of 'Mo', but she knew that he, the old elf and the blonde amazon were here to ruin her brilliant plans. The plans about starting her own criminal enterprise, finally being able to leave Spatz Antonelli's mafia clan.

She couldn't let them ruin it.

And after all, there were only three armed enemies here, and she had six armed metal men. Quench's guards didn't count, as they were no longer serving anyone.

The enemy was still outnumbered…

"Kill them!" She pointed at the newcomers.

The metal men needed no further instruction; they began to fire in the door's direction. Mulch and Root whipped out a collapsible LEP shield and the shots rebounded off them, hitting nearby golden plates. Juliet, who was too tall to hide behind a shield, hurled herself behind a sizeable Aztec vase and opened fire from behind it.

Chaos broke out in the matter of seconds and Holly immediately shoved Patrick into the background to keep him out of the firing line. She had dropped her Neutrino as a sign of surrender, and now ducked for her fallen weapon, joining in the fight.

Opal hid behind an huge heap of gold, while Artemis was contemplating what to do. He was in a real dilemma: he had no weapon (the small Neurino he had dropped had disappeared in the fight and he had no chance to get hold of another gun). Close-quarters weren't for him either, that was something Juliet specialised in. The only thing he was good at was plotting… but not even that anymore. He felt completely, utterly useless.

His dilemma about 'to fight or not to fight' was solved by a stray bullet that had been meant for Holly, but thanks to Holly's good reflexes she'd avoided it. The bullet, however, had the mind of hitting someone, and if not Holly, then the next person in its way. That person happened to be Artemis.

Feeling a sudden and searing pain in his shoulder, the young man stumbled backwards until he was leaning against an Aztec armour decorated with emeralds. He had instinctively pressed his right hand over the wound, and now that he felt something supporting him from behind, he dared remove his hand and take a look at the damage. It was not a pretty sight, and it was bleeding heavily. Not a fatal wound, Artemis knew that much, but if he didn't get help within fifteen minutes, he might easily bleed to death.

In the meantime Juliet and Root had managed to shoot a metal man each. Even Quench's guards seemed to have decided that fighting on the fairy's side was wiser, and they were randomly firing at the remaining metal men but missed all the time.

Upon seeing her men fall, Carla decided she wouldn't lose any more of them. This whole bloody mission had lost her five of them already. There was no way she'd let this blonde version of Lara Croft, Mo Digence and the tiny Gandalf take out any more. Certainly she had no idea that the fairy weapons were all set for stun. That's how the mobsters brains worked: if someone fell, he was very likely dead. And if that someone was your friend/family/employee, you were supposed to retaliate. _Vendetta_. Carla loved that word. Her fiery Italian blood boiled, anger clouded her mind and she began shooting.

* * *

The only person not having the slightest idea which side to fight on was one Quartz Quench. Frazetti was now his enemy, and the fairies had always been his enemies. Anyway, he hadn't come here to fight. He'd come here to kill the boy and wipe out the whole fairy folk using the Aztec idol. Now the idol was nowhere to be seen - it must have been knocked off its plinth in the fight and rolled into a corner. Quartz had no intention of going looking for it. He might even get hurt in the crossfire. He knew he no longer had a chance to accomplish his plan - the fairy People shall survive, thanks to that arrogant Artemis Fowl and the annoying Holly Short.

Fowl and Short…

The boy was their son.

Their heart would surely break into little pieces if the boy died despite all their efforts…

Quartz knew he would either die here or be sentenced for life at Howler's Peak. And that was no life at all.

The last thing he could do as a free person was take revenge.

He looked around and saw that Patrick was creeping towards Fowl who seemed to be injured and barely able to support his weight. However, the boy was still far enough from his father, and everyone else in the chamber seemed to be concentrating on the battle…

* * *

Juliet managed to stun another metal man, leaving only three to fight on Carla's side.

At the mobster's barrage, Mulch's wonderful LEP shield finally gave up - LEP shields were designed for withstanding laser beams, not Mud Man bullets - and half a dozen of Carla's shots cut through it like a knife through butter.

"Mulch!" Opal shrieked and completely forgetting about not wanting to get hurt, she lunged forward, running into the firing line.

* * *

Patrick was trying to reach his father, careful not to get shot in the attempt. Suddenly a shrill female voice shouted 'Mulch!' and curiously he turned to see what had happened. That single second of attention-lapse was enough for someone to grab him from behind and hold him in a vice-like grip so that he couldn't even move his head. A hand clasped over his mouth, making sure he wouldn't scream for help either.

* * *

Artemis saw his son approaching through heavy eyelids. He found it more and more difficult to stand upright. With every passing second he felt weaker and weaker, and no one besides the boy seemed to have noticed his injury. He felt too weak to even shout to Holly; and well, he wasn't supposed to distract Holly in a dire situation like this. True, Juliet was shooting the metal men one after the other, but Frazetti too seemed to be a dangerous markswoman.

Artemis watched as Patrick crept closer and closer to him. Perhaps the boy, as a half-fairy, had some healing magic…

Artemis's legs were giving up the fight and he slid into the sitting position, his vision becoming blurrier and blurrier by the second. He groped around on the ground, trying to find something, anything, to help him stand up again. His fingers wound around something smooth and wooden…

Someone shouted Mulch's name - Artemis felt too tired to too look who and why; all he could and wanted to concentrate on was his son. Suddenly someone - a bulky figure - lunged at the boy.

Artemis blinked, willing his vision to clear. It was Quench, no doubt. What was that idiot doing?

Not the ritual…?

No, obviously not… the sacrificial altar was at the other end of the chamber, it would have taken Quench to run through the firing line to get there… but then what was he doing?

In the dim light something glistened in the masked man's hand. Not a knife… it seemed dark. Black, and jagged.

Obsidian, Artemis realised.

A sacrificial knife made of obsidian. The one Quench would have used to kill the boy with. And he _was_ trying to use it to kill the boy…

Artemis grabbed the wooden object and with all his remaining power he lifted it. It was heavy for a fairy-sized person, too big too, but that was all he could use, as the others were still firing at each other, oblivious to the fact that Quartz was about to slice Patrick's throat.

The boy seemed to be struggling, making it hard for the masked fairy to kill him, but his mad fidgeting could only buy him a few more seconds of life.

'_Did you ever put a gun to someone's head and pull the trigger? No? I didn't think so.'_ Artemis had no idea why the words of Jon Spiro popped into his mind. _'Sometimes that's all it takes. Guts. And you don't have them.'_

But he did. Didn't he?

_'I'm nothing like Jon Spiro! He's a cold-blooded killer!'_

'Give yourself a few years. You'll get there.'

Artemis knew it would be different to kill a sentient being than it was to kill a ferocious jaguar… still… he needed to have the guts. Just this once.

The last thing he saw before the world turned black around him was his arrow run through Quartz Quench from behind…

* * *

**A/N:** my betas told me they found Cash Flow hilarious. Truth be told I wrote this chapter in October (well, from the middle of September till the middle of October) when I had to do an assignment in Finance, about assessing the market value of an Irish mining company. To assess the value properly, we had to make Cash Flows, and it sort of... rubbed off on me ;)

Also, I'd like to have a little survey here, I hope you don't mind. I'm curious to know why you started reading this fic. Please put your answer in your reviews. Options:  
- you had read my HP fics and you thought that perhaps it was worth reading my AF fic as well  
- you hadn't known any of my fics beforehand, but you found the summary of this one interesting, so you decided to read it  
- someone had recommended this fic to you  
- other (if so, please specify)

Thanks! 


	20. Time to say goodbye

**Author's note**: this chapter (and the next one) made my mum cry. Today I wrote a part of the sequel, that made _me_ cry. Yeah, sometimes I cry when I write particularly sad/touching parts... I don't know, am I alone with this sort of thing, or do you also cry when you write something heart-wrenching? Just wondering... 

**Author's note in April, 2005**: there were originally lyrics in this chapter that I deleted to satisfy ffnet's admins, and reuploaded the whole thing.

_DarkLegacies_: it wasn't Patrick's formula that turned Arty into a fairy, but the one that Arty developed in Haven (the green liquid - Patrick's invention was a red liquid). I don't think I'll ever write a HP/AF crossover, because normally I dislike these crossovers. I've read a few, but only found one decent one - it's 'The Family Name' by Elbereth in April.

_lyrabelaqua_: in Haven Artemis invented the 'antidote' of Patrick's MMM, and he used it on himself. The antidote not only turns a fairy back to fairy after he'd drunk the MMM, but can also turn a human into a fairy.

_Demosthenes and Locke_: serious kiss in this chapter :)

_Mistri, Tonks' Admirer:_ Arty named himself Timmy because his mother always calls his father Timmy (I think it's mentioned in book three). That's another nickname for Artemis.

_Teya Yashitoda_: yup, it was definitely a poisoned arrow ;)

_Nips:_ Arty will make himself useful in the sequel.

_Ashu:_ what? You read the AF books after you started reading this fic? That's hilarious :) Though I have had some readers in the Harry Potter fandom as well who had only seen the first two movies and then read my fics, and only after my fics did they read the real HP books...

_Dorinda_: I don't know whether Opal and Mulch will get married, but they will be together, that's for sure. Yes, only two chapters left: this one, and one other.

_C-chan1_: dunno if I will mention Julius Caesar in the sequel... Caesar lived 500 years before Attila... About Timmy, please read my answer to Mistri, Tonks' Admirer. Yes, the antidote can turn normal humans into fairies. Quartz wasn't considered a fairy by his guards anymore, but he still considered himself a fairy, so he had to obey the fairy rules. Snape/Lockhart? Oh noooo...

_manveri mirkiel:_ nope, Arty won't stay a fairy.

_Holly Rox_: Artemis and Holly will stay alive, even in the sequel. I'm not _that_ evil. However, I really can't promise the sequel before early autumn, because writing a fic takes me several months (this one did half a year). I like doing a thorough work, and that needs a lot of time.

_Aurum Potestas Est_: I think I read the American version - at least it was published in the USA.

_The OddBird:_ I love everything Egyptian, Greek and Roman too. I'm fascinated with the ancient cultures. I'm glad you managed to persuade your friend to read and review the fic :)

_Epsilon2Delta_: sorry, but the sequel won't give an opportunity for Opal to be around. But Mulch _will_ be around.

_Obiki Doragon:_ excuse me? What's t3h hun73l2? I'm not sure this is what you wanted to write - perhaps ffnet screwed up the word when you submitted the review?

_Marfbag_: the fact that Arty has fairy looks doesn't mean he can do magic. Fairies who get humans looks thanks to the MMM can do magic - because they're still fairies, just look like humans. Arty's still human, just looks like a fairy.

_An+ig0ne_: yes, Arty made the antidote to Patrick's MMM back in Haven. He told most of his plans to Holly, but not all. He altered his plans after he found out about the throne.

_Cherri J.M. Ookami_: I'm glad you're another person who read the AF books to read this fic (there are at least a dozen such people out there ;)

_LittleGreenPerson:_ Artemis had brought the bow and the arrow into the pyramid (the Aztecs had given it to him, and he'd used it to kill the jaguar when it attacked Holly). In the chamber, he dropped the bow and the arrow before he turned into a fairy, and when he got shot, he collapsed near the place where he'd dropped the bow.

_AprilEchidna_: yes, Timmy is Artemis the First's nickname.

_Cyberspace_: I'm glad you ended up loving the fic and not flaming it :D

_Hyperkitti_: Juliet will not gloat given that the circumstances won't let her (see the end of this chapter)... your last review was very heart-warming, thank you.

_callmequeen:_ then you probably won't like the sequel - as they will already be together in it... not that there won't be things that tear them apart (I'm evil, you know;)

_jordan_: thank you very much /_Agi's beaming at jordan_/. Don't worry, I HAVE finished this one already (actually a few months ago), I'm just tweaking every chapter before I upload it

**Also thanks to**:_ Tia, almostinsane, Specklednewt aka The Child Prodigy, shadow of the black abyss, TinkerBell394587, Kyia Star, The Flying Moose, maddy, Kellalor, Polar, The flickering flame, septempopuli, neutralgal, utena, animezebra, Cassy, Lily Jane, BluAyu, p. nogard, Spooks-A-Lot, Kateli, Draco's Secret Lover, pink-helga, HollyShortgirl, BeatlesLover, IhateBeetroot, Lady Emerald Black, APERFECTATTITUDE, Klayandria, kellyidol2000, kirby freak, MissEcoFreakTheDarkPrecursor, furiousflame190113, missy witch, BefuddledPuddle, Keiko, luckyducky7too, Fleury, PinkGlitteryStar, amber, HarriettaPotter, PrincessBob, Chaos, person, WackedOutPet13 _

* * *

**Chapter 20**

**Time to say goodbye**

Artemis opened his eyes, blinked and squinted in the strong light coming from above his bed.

His _bed_?

How come he was lying in a bed? How come he'd survived the shot at all?

He made an effort to turn his head and was surprised to see a pair of deep blue eyes staring down at him.

"P… Patrick," he muttered.

The boy's lips tucked into a smile. "Nice to see you awake. Are you feeling okay?"

Before answering, Artemis decided to test his bodily functions. His fingers and toes seemed to be moving all right, he felt no pain in his shot shoulder either. All he could complain about was a slight headache. "I think so. How long have I been out?"

"Over a day," came the boy's reply.

"Am I right in thinking that this is some sort of a fairy medical facility?"

"Yeah." Patrick nodded. "This is the Central Hospital of Haven. You know, that wound of yours was quite nasty and you'd lost a lot of blood. My magic gave you the first push in recovering but it wasn't enough to fully heal you, so you needed to be transported here. But don't worry, you're completely healed now, at least according to the warlock medics. They even checked you for malaria, and you're healthy."

"Malaria?" Artemis frowned.

"It was necessary to check everyone who'd been in the jungle, because malaria tends to lurk in your system for months before it attacks, and it might be too late to heal when it isn't discovered any earlier. Mum, Uncle Julius, me, Koboi and Juliet are fine too. Mulch had a bit of a problem, though. He's currently being treated in the adjacent room."

Artemis remembered hearing someone shout the dwarf's name before he blacked out… "What happened to him?"

"Got a dozen shots from Frazetti's team. Almost died. You should've seen Koboi lunge at him, screaming and crying!" Patrick couldn't contain a grin. "No one would have thought that of the aloof Miss Koboi… And then came the funny part…"

"Funny part?" Artemis raised an eyebrow at his son.

"Yeah. The shots that Mulch got must have triggered something inside him, and before he passed out, he inadvertently emitted a cyclone."

"A cyclone?" Artemis didn't need an explanation about what a dwarf's 'cyclone' was.

"Uh-huh. It swept Frazetti and all her metal men off their feet. Some of them even lost consciousness. Mum and Uncle Julius immediately disabled and _mesmerised_ them to obey their every word. Even Quench's guards helped them with _mesmerising_ the Mud People."

"Did they, really?" The young man muttered. The mention of Quench's name made him feel uneasy. "Patrick… is Quartz Quench dead?"

"He is. I assume he must have run out of magic, so he couldn't heal. By the way, you're a damn good archer. Saved my life." The boy seemed to be struggling with himself for a few seconds before he added: "Thanks, Dad."

Artemis couldn't help but feel a smile spread on his face. His son had called him 'dad'. And apparently he'd managed to save the boy's life. It filled him with some contentment… The contentment wasn't enough to completely suppress his guilt over having killed a sentient being, but it was still something…

"I… you need to know that I wouldn't have killed him… but I had no other choice…"

The boy held up a hand to stop Artemis's apology. "No need to feel guilty, Dad. You did the right thing. That fairy was evil. Dangerous. A lunatic with no moral scruples. No one misses him, and the Lower Elements is a safer place without him. Actually, the whole planet is a safer place without him. Killing him wasn't a bad thing… it was heroic. Like it or not, you're a hero." He added with a wink.

Artemis grimaced at being called a hero. It was… mushy. And he didn't feel like going all mushy. "Say," he decided to change the topic, "what happened after Frazetti's team got _mesmerised_?"

"Well, Mum's plan was to take them out of the pyramid as soon as the sun had risen, make them march across the jungle and when they got out of the pyramid's magical area, contact the LEP for reinforcement. The reinforcements would have arrived to the shuttle port by Chichén Itza, wiped the Mud People's memories and got them back to Chicago. You and Juliet would have been hid from the LEP, but…"

"…_would have_?" Artemis asked. "That means we weren't."

Patrick nodded. "You weren't. Right after sunrise when Second Tenochtitlan appeared in the normal dimension again, we were heading down the pyramid's stairs. Juliet was carrying both you and Mulch, and Mum and Uncle Julius herding the mesmerised Mud People, when suddenly a bunch of LEP fairies emerged from the forest. They were led by Wing Commander Vinyáya. There were at least ten of them. You can imagine their stunned expressions when they saw us leisurely walking down the stairs. Well… not _all of us_ were walking leisurely… Koboi was anxiously wringing her hands, glancing at Diggums every second step she took. Actually…" The boy's face tucked into a grin, "Mum seemed quite anxious about _your_ health too…"

Artemis decided not to feel happy about the news. They were back in Haven, the fairies surely knew who he was, and he'd end up being mind-wiped again, forgetting about Holly… "How did the LEP get there?" he asked, hoping to get his mind off her.

"Well, that's the weirdest thing," Patrick said. "You know, Foaly had developed a special machine to create chutes where there were none. He tried to take out a patent on it for years, but so far the Council had refused to give him their permission, saying it was too risky. Now, however, they agreed that it was vital to get to the pyramid as soon as possible, and since there were no chutes any nearer to Second Tenochtitlan than the one at Chichén Itza, they needed to create one if they wanted to help Mum save our world. So Foaly got the official papers and the CC - short for Chute Creator - was immediately activated. Certainly they didn't know the proper coordinates of the pyramid, but Foaly made a bit of a calculus of probabilities and gave the LEP the most likely coordinates. Luckily the CC was working under the face of earth - apparently the pyramid's magical area wasn't effective underground."

"I wonder _how_ the Council found out about the mission, though…" Artemis mused.

"Foaly." Patrick shrugged. "That centaur cannot hold his big mouth. But the LEP's arrival had an advantage after all: they transported the Mud People to Chicago through the chute-system and mind-wiped them all. Since Quench's guards helped the LEP, they aren't facing a trial now for having worked for Quench."

"And what about Hol… your mother? And Root? Mulch? Koboi? And does the LEP know you're… my son?"

"No." Patrick shook his head. "The LEP has still no idea about our blood relation, and we'll make sure that it remains our secret. As for Mum and Uncle Julius… they are in the Council right now." Young Short's voice was slightly nervous. "They're being accounted for going on this mission in secret, and about resolving to use Mud People's help…"

Artemis sighed. "Is it possible that your mother will lose her job because of involving me and Juliet?"

Patrick shook his head. "To be completely honest, I don't know. I hope not."

"Me too," Artemis muttered, sitting up. He felt his face - it was smooth - someone must have shaven him. He felt his ears - they still appeared to be pointy.

"Don't worry about that," the boy spoke up. "I'm almost finished with a new dose of the MMM. You'll get your normal looks back soon. I've also decided to invent a version of it to work on half-fairies too. The Council doesn't need to know that, of course…"

Artemis forced a smile. The boy was talking about inventing things as though it were the most natural thing in the world… Artemis felt a lump rise in his throat. He'd never again invent anything. Not with his limited mental capacity…

He didn't even know whether anyone else besides Holly knew about his new handicap… he hoped they didn't.

"Are you sure you're all right?" Patrick asked, seeing his father's crestfallen expression.

"Uh… yeah. Just worried about the… questioning. I don't want your mother and Root to get punished. By the way, where's Juliet?"

"In the Council. She insisted on being a witness. I hope she's persuasive…"

Artemis allowed himself a small smile. "I think you don't have to worry about that. Juliet can be quite persuasive."

Patrick smiled back. "Er… Dad…?"

"Yes?"

"I just… wanted you to know that I'm… grateful to you for coming and saving me… when you didn't even know me…" The boy bit into his lower lip, looking embarrassed. "I must admit I had had doubts about a Mud Man father, but… I no longer have any. I'm glad you're my dad."

"I'm glad you're my son too," Artemis replied softly.

"Er… may I hug you?"

"I was about to ask you the same."

With a happy grin, Patrick leaned forward, closing his father into his arms.

* * *

Mulch opened his eyes to see the lovely visage of Opal Koboi leaning over him. Upon seeing him awaken, her sky blue eyes widened with surprise and happiness that she didn't even try to hide. 

"My angel…" the dwarf muttered, slightly lifting his head off the pillow, in the hope of getting a welcome-back kiss from her.

Instead he got a punch hard enough to shove him back onto the pillow.

Cross-eyed, he massaged his cheek. "What did I get that for?"

"You… you evil bastard!" she hissed down at him. "How dare you go and get yourself almost killed? You have no idea what I went through when I saw you getting shot! I almost died on the spot! And don't you smirk like that, Mulch Diggums!"

Mulch, however, couldn't help but smirk. That was the Opal he loved so much: fiery, hysteric, and absolutely beautiful when angry. Her creamy skin had turned red in the fervour of shouting and her eyes were gleaming with fury. Any other fairy would have run from the pixie at her current state, but not Mulch. For one - he was in bed, not feeling strong enough to run, two - he didn't want to leave Opal for the rest of his life.

When she realised that the more she was shouting, the wider Mulch's grin grew, Opal stopped her tirade, hyperventilating. "What… are you… smirking at?" she panted.

"You." The dwarf sat up. "You're absolutely stunning when you're mad."

"Am I?" She absentmindedly reached out and slipped a few blonde tresses behind her pointy ears. It was the move of an embarrassed schoolgirl, not that of criminal-mastermind Miss Koboi; but for the time being she felt pretty much like a schoolgirl who was flattered by a classmate she fancied.

"Yup." Mulch nodded with a toothy smile. "C'mere, princess."

The absentminded schoolgirl-Opal obeyed without thinking. Before she knew she was in the kleptomaniac dwarf's arms, kissing him passionately.

After a few seconds she drew back. "Er… you taste a bit… funny, Mulch."

"Well… as far as I remember the last thing I ate was mud…" came the reply.

"Ewwww." Opal grimaced.

"You've got to get used to that, honey, if you want to live with me."

"And who said I wanted to live with you?" She snapped, jumping off the bed. She paused for a few seconds, then asked: "Does that mean that _you_ want to live with me?"

"You know, sweetheart, usually I make it a point not to date outside my species, but this time I'm willing to make an exception. It's a one-time offer, just now, just for you. Don't miss it, or you'll miss it forever."

Opal turned her back on him, determined not to reply. What was this stupid dwarf thinking of himself? - she fumed. The problem was that she could no longer call him a 'stupid' dwarf and mean it. She wanted to, but she couldn't.

"Say, how come you're not back at Howler's Peak?" he asked after a while to break the silence. "And how come no one's keeping an eye on you?"

"They are keeping an eye on me," she grunted. "On you too. For your information there are two heavily armed guards standing outside this door, making sure that we don't escape. Oh, and the walls are made of concrete."

"Too bad." Mulch's face fell. "We can't live together if you get closed into prison again… come to think of it, I can't be sure that Holly keeps her word and makes sure I get pardoned like she promised she would…"

Opal pursed her lips, sending him a crestfallen glance. For a few happy seconds she had lulled herself into the belief that she could live with Diggums (even if she wouldn't admit it to him). For a few seconds she'd forgotten about the fact that she'd have to go back to jail.

She had only got permission to stay at Mulch's side until the commander's questioning at the Council ended. After all, it was possible that Short would be removed from her position and then the 'contract' she'd made with Opal would lose its validity and Opal could forget about the 175 years shorter sentence. For the time being Miss Koboi's future depended on Short's ability to defend herself and the cause she'd been fighting for. The pixie seriously hoped that even if Short wasn't good enough at arguing then at least Root and Foaly were. For the first time in her life Opal was hoping for the centaur's success.

She rubbed her eyes - they were still slightly itching after Foaly had removed the special contact lenses. She cursed her own inability to remove them without the centaur's help but she'd never admit it to him that she'd at least _tried to_ remove them. When Foaly had asked her about the lenses in his usual, gloating voice, she had coolly replied that she hadn't even had the time to try and get rid of them, so she hadn't bothered. Opal was aware that the centaur had seen through her lie, but as long as she managed to preserve her dignity, it didn't matter.

* * *

After a few hours of waiting, the door of Artemis's ward opened and in marched Holly, Root, Juliet and Foaly. 

Artemis felt relieved about seeing them for two reasons. One: none of them seemed sad, so the Council's decision cannot have been anything grave. Two: in the past few hours Patrick had bombarded him with questions about science (clearly the boy wanted to use the opportunity to talk to someone as clever as him for a change), and Artemis had been struggling to avoid answering the questions in a way that would reveal that he no longer possessed the same intellectual abilities as his son. He couldn't help it - he felt ashamed about it.

"Well?" he asked the newcomers.

"Victory!" Juliet beamed at him.

"Of course, since you had a wonderful attorney - me." Foaly added with a toothy grin.

"So, what happened?" enquired Patrick.

"We… er, mostly Foaly, convinced the Council that the mission was of vital importance to the fairies and they accepted our reasoning as to why we left without telling the rest of the LEP," Root replied. "And imagine, Holly and me are going to be awarded the Heroes of Haven medal! The greatest honour a fairy can get!"

"Congrats," Artemis said coolly. "And what about Juliet and me? What will happen to us now?"

Holly bit into her lower lip. "Well… we needed to convince the Council that bringing you here was necessary and that you were no longer dangerous, in order to make sure we wouldn't have to mind-wipe you again. You also have to promise never to contact any of the fairies again…"

"…and I trust you convinced the Council that I was no longer dangerous by telling them about my sacrifice," Artemis concluded with a dark expression.

Holly nodded with a sad smile. "It was in your interest. And the Council was persuaded. They don't want to harm you in any way. You're free to leave."

"Jolly good," the young man sighed, slumping back into his pillow.

"_Sacrifice_?" Patrick interjected. "_What_ sacrifice? You mean the one you had to make in order to get out of the Land of Nowhere?"

Both Artemis and Holly nodded.

"And…?" Patrick demanded. "What was it? What did you give up?"

Artemis stared at the bed-sheet, careful to avoid everyone's eyes. "My intellect," he whispered.

Patrick gasped, but his mother waved to silence him. There was no way she'd let him ask questions - it was hard enough for Artemis without being interrogated.

Juliet had also been surprised when Holly had told the Council about the one-time genius' sacrifice, but she was tactful enough not to mention it to her charge.

"Doesn't matter," the young man said with a forced smile. "Even if I'm no genius anymore, I can still be a professional archer."

"Oh, Artemis…" Juliet sighed with an indulgent smile.

"Really, doesn't matter. Don't be sorry for me," young Fowl said sharply. "I forbid you to feel sorry."

Juliet looked away, no longer being able to stand his penetrating glance.

Heavy silence fell on the room and lasted for about a minute.

"Er… what about Diggums and Koboi?" Patrick broke the silence, clever enough to turn the discussion to something else.

A small smile appeared on Holly's face. "They are lucky. Very lucky… who comes with me to tell them?"

* * *

"_Probation_?" Opal breathed. "I'm put on probation?" 

"Yes," the commander replied. "You mustn't leave Haven for the next two hundred years, you're going to be checked on at intervals, but you don't have to go back to prison. You will be able to access your funds in a couple of days, I will just have to talk to the manager of the Central Bank of Haven. You get your old life back - this is how the fairy People thank you for helping to save them. As for you, Mulch Diggums, you're pardoned. Free to leave whenever you want."

"Really?" The dwarf's eyes widened.

"Really," Holly nodded with a small smile.

"…not that I agreed with the Council's decision," Root added morosely. "If it were up to me, you'd be put back in prison for another few centuries, both of you."

But Mulch no longer listened to the elderly elf's grumbling. All his slab-like teeth showing in a huge grin, he turned to Opal. "Do you want to live with me now?"

The pixie regarded him for a few seconds then returned the grin. "Of course I do, Smelly."

* * *

The following day Mulch and Artemis were released from the hospital. Artemis moved into Holly's flat until he fully recovered (according to the warlock medics it would take approximately another two days). Where Mulch left after he exited the medic bay was anyone's guess, but everyone had the suspicion that the dwarf had begun a new life at the enormous manor that still belonged to Opal Koboi. 

There was a thorough investigation concerning the person who had given information about Foaly's fireworks to one of Quench's men. It turned out it had been none other than the illustrious Chix Verbil. Chix insisted that he hadn't known that he was doing something wrong when he'd talked a bit about the centaur's invention to a stranger. The Council had insisted on using a polygraph on him, but the results showed that the unfortunate sprite had been telling the truth. He'd been an unsuspecting idiot, nothing else.

* * *

One day before Artemis and Juliet's departure, all friends - save Mulch and Opal - gathered into Holly's flat. Holly was entertaining Juliet with telling stories about Root playing peekaboo when Patrick had been a baby. It caused Juliet to giggle and Patrick and Root to groan and roll their eyes. 

The only person who felt left out of all the 'fun' was Artemis. A couple of hours earlier he had taken Patrick's MMM and regained his usual human looks. Foaly had miraculously managed to mend and clean his Armani suit that Artemis had thought was beyond reparation. Obviously he had been wrong.

He'd spent the past hours listening to tales from Patrick's childhood and sometimes even caught himself smiling at them, but most of the time he felt utterly empty. Empty - and not only because of the gift he had lost. He had lost much more than his exceptional intellect. For a short while he had had a woman he loved, and a son. In a day they would belong to the past, forever. He would never again meet Holly and Patrick, and at the mere thought of not seeing them again, he already felt the emptiness that would be caused by their absence.

When Juliet began to tell Holly about the way she'd fallen into the river, Artemis felt he needed a bit of time alone, away from all the chit-chatting. He rose to his feet, and every pair of eyes focused on him at once. Seeing the worry in them, he said quickly: "I just need to use the toilet."

At this, the worried look more or less disappeared from the others' eyes.

Artemis made his way across the living room, out into the back garden. It was dark, since it was late at night, and pleasantly quiet. He needed that peace, to think things over. Sighing, Artemis leaned against the wall, staring into the blackness of the garden, replaying the others' recent reactions to him.

He was annoyed. Ever since everyone had found out about his sacrifice, they seemed to treat him differently. Juliet avoided pulling his leg like she normally did, while Foaly and Patrick avoided asking him anything that needed a bit of thinking. _I'm not mentally retarded, for heaven's sake!_ He thought irritably. _I might not be as genial as I used to be, but I'm not an invalid, not someone who needs to be pampered and spared all the pain! I can still think clearly, thank you very much! Patrick and Foaly don't need to pretend I can't add two and two! I've had enough of seeing everyone worried about me! What are they thinking? Do they fear I might go and kill myself over losing a few dozen IQ points? Now honestly…That's ridiculous…_

The more Artemis thought about it, the more ridiculous it felt. He was not the suicidal type, never would be. He was the type who fancied a challenge, and this new situation - the lack of his exceptional cleverness - meant a new challenge for him. He'd have to face a series of difficulties for sure, he'd have to start a wholly new life, but… he'd manage it. He was sure he would. If only Holly were there to support him…

_No!_ He shouted at himself inwardly. _I don't need anyone's support! _

Who are you fooling, Artemis? - another voice inside his head replied.

_I'm not fooling anyone! I just don't need support! _

Perhaps not support… but **Holly**…?

Artemis felt a lump in his throat and swallowed hard to make it disappear. His eyes were burning - was he on the verge of tears?

He rubbed his eyes, blinking back any tears that threatened to fall, and head held up, marched towards 'number four'.

* * *

"You don't mean it!" Juliet breathed. "Artemis shot the jaguar? He was actually willing to fight it just to save you?" 

"Yeah," Holly replied with a sad smile. Now that she reflected on it, the jaguar-attack seemed ages ago, but if she closed her eyes, she could still feel Artemis's gentle arms around her frail, bruised body. She could still hear his soothing voice, telling her how much he wanted her to heal, because the world needed her… because _he_ needed her. She heaved a sigh. "There's something I still don't know, though," she added. "Why had that jaguar followed us in the first place? It didn't seem hungry, merely mad about something…"

"Er… I'm not sure but I have an idea," Juliet said with an embarrassed grimace. "You know, after I got out of the river, I slept in some beast's liar. The beast must have been out for hunting. By the time it returned to its liar, I was gone, but my smell was still there… It's possible that the jaguar followed my smell but lost it after I joined Smelly and the others, because, uh… Mulch _really stinks_. And well, I used some sunscreen too, so I stank too. Then the jaguar must have picked up on the smell of my rucksack… that was carried by Artemis at that time. So it just followed you and Artemis, believing you to be the ones who desecrated its home."

"That sounds plausible," Holly mused as the door opened and the young Irishman entered. There was a sheepish grin on his face. "Everything all right?" she asked.

"Yeah." He nodded. "I beat the computer. Barely, but I still did."

For some reason, Holly couldn't help but smile.

* * *

From a cliff, Artemis was examining the magma flowing below. It was mesmerising. Yellow, orange, blood red, swirling and forming intricate patterns, its heat reaching up to where he stood. 

"Well," Holly spoke up, "shall we?"

Artemis glanced down at the tiny, golden statue she held in her hands. "Are you sure this is the right thing to do? What if the Aztecs go looking for it?"

"I don't think they will," she replied. "Obsidian Snake said that they were too afraid to approach the pyramid."

"Yes, but he also said that should an enemy come and want to destroy their tribe, they'd screw up their courage and use the idol," he reminded her. "But… yeah, perhaps it's better to destroy it. It could save a group of people from another group of people, but it could destroy more than it could save."

"I agree." She nodded solemnly. "Do you want to do it? You're a Lord of the Rings fan, after all, aren't you?"

With a grimace at her comment, he reached for the tiny idol. As she passed it to him, their fingers touched, and both of them stiffened but hesitated to withdraw their hands. For a few seconds neither moved just stared at each other, their hands touching.

It was Artemis who first regained his composure and drew back his hand. The idol felt heavy, despite its small size. It was pure gold, after all. Gold that glinted in an enticing way.

Just a few weeks earlier he would have done anything to own this little statue. Just a week earlier he had been eager to return to the cave that led to the Aztec village, in the hope that the sparkling gems embedded into the walls were emeralds.

Now none of these things mattered.

Artemis had changed for good. For the better or the worse, he didn't know. His feelings and thoughts were a turmoil, and he expected that as soon as the turmoil disappeared, there would be nothing left in him. Nothing but emptiness. His soul would be missing a part - its other half: Holly Short.

She was here now, at an arm's length, yet she seemed far, far away, completely out of his reach. Perhaps it was better that way. After all, they were too different. Human and fairy, tall and short. One could freeze the very air around him, the other could radiate warmth all around her. Ice and fire, that's what they were like, and those two elements could never exist together. Fire could melt ice, but ice could also extinguish fire. Perhaps he had been wrong thinking that she was his soul mate… perhaps they didn't fit in any respect…

_You're just trying to find excuses_, he scolded himself. _Trying to make it easier to leave her. But the point is that you love her. There's nothing you can do about it. Accept it._

"Hey, Frodo, what are you waiting for?" Holly spoke up, shaking Artemis back to reality.

"Nothing, Sam," he replied, and casting one last glance at the invaluable statue, he hurled it into the magma. "Let's get back to your flat, shall we? Juliet must be eager to leave already."

She nodded as he began walking back towards the city. She wanted to follow him, but her legs seemed to have minds of their own, not wanting to take her back to her residence at all. It had only struck her that this was the last opportunity to be alone with Artemis. They'd never meet again, because the Council had sent a member to Artemis's hospital ward to make the young man promise that he'd never contact the fairies again. And Artemis had promised it.

If she just let him walk away now, she'd miss the chance to tell him what she felt… "Artemis, wait!"

Upon hearing his name, he doubled back. "Yes?"

"I… I just… wanted to thank you. For coming and saving Patrick and the people. For… sacrificing so much, and…" …_and I want to tell you how much I love you_, she added in thought, but her vocal cords failed her.

"You're welcome. It was nothing, really," he replied in an impassive tone. When she'd called after him, for a brief second he'd thought, he'd _hoped_ she'd tell him something… something else. "Are you coming, Commander?"

"Yes, Mr Fowl, I am," she said in a resigned voice and caught up with him.

* * *

"My worst nightmare is coming true," Root muttered to Patrick as they were watching Holly and Artemis from a distance. Holly had just handed Artemis the idol and they were standing at the edge of the precipice as though their hands were glued together, staring at each other. 

"Your worst nightmare?" the boy asked.

"Yeah." Root grunted. "You parents are falling for each other."

With an indulgent smile, the young genius shook his head. "You're wrong, Uncle Julius. They aren't _falling_ - they have long _fallen_ for each other."

Biting off and chewing the end of his fungus cigar, the elderly elf muttered something like 'the Butler girl was right then'.

How he'd refused to accept Juliet's reasoning about Holly and Fowl's mutual feelings! How he'd tried to lull himself into the belief that everyone was imagining things… and apparently they had been right, and he, Julius, alone had been wrong.

For some reason he couldn't help but feel sorry for Holly. And perhaps even for the Mud Boy.

* * *

Artemis and Juliet were escorted to the shuttle by Holly, Patrick, Root and Foaly. To Artemis's great surprise a familiar couple were already waiting for them there: one blonde pixie in a pompous peach-coloured dress and a dwarf that no one had ever seen this decent-looking before. Mulch happened to be sporting a pale blue suit (tailored specifically for him, Artemis thought when glimpsing the suit's bum flap) and a jaunty little hat. The only hat Artemis had ever seen on a dwarf was the night cap sort of hat worn by Disney's seven dwarves, and well, Mulch's didn't resemble that one a bit. It rather resembled a mixture of a top hat and a Stetson. Nevertheless, it suited Mr Diggums perfectly. 

"Hi, Mulch," Artemis greeted his old friend. "How come you knew about our departure?"

"Well, if you have a good source of information…" The dwarf replied and leaned closer to the young man so that Root and Holly wouldn't hear the rest, "…you know, it was a piece of cake for Opal to hack into the Council's files, and lo and behold, what did she find there? A file about the whole Aztec affair, and an addendum saying that you're leaving this afternoon. The Council seems quite optimistic that you're going to stay away from the fairies in the future, Arty boy."

"I will have to." Artemis shrugged. "They made me promise it, and criminal or not, a promise is a promise."

"Yeah… speaking of promises…" Mulch's voice trailed off even more, "I know I offered you to work together with you after the kidnapping affair ended, but… I fear I can't, at least not for the time being. My activities as well as Opal's are being monitored by the LEP and if I want to keep out of prison, I have to stay out of trouble for a while."

"I understand that, old friend." Artemis smiled down at the tiny figure.

"No resentment?"

"No resentment at all. But let me advise you something - if you and Koboi want to stay out of trouble, avoid hacking into the Council's files."

"Don't worry, I'm too good to notice when I hack into any system," the pixie muttered so that the others wouldn't hear it.

"Well, anyway, take care, both of you. And should you want to seek me out later, Mulch, you know where to find me."

"I'll remember that, Arty boy." The dwarf grinned at the young man.

Juliet was finished saying good-bye to Holly, Patrick and Root and now she arrived to the dwarf and his fair lady. "Good-bye, Opal. Be nice to Smelly here. As for you Smelly, keep a low profile."

"I'll try, Stinker, but I can't help being kleptomaniac." Mulch replied with an innocent expression.

"You can't help, huh?" Juliet raised an eyebrow at him. "Do me the favour and give me back the disk you've just nicked out of my pocket."

With a pout radiating 'spoilsport', Mulch handed her back the tiny videodisk.

"Thanks, Smelly. Bye."

"So long, Stinker!"

By the time Juliet climbed into the shuttle, Artemis had finished saying good-bye to Root and Foaly, and now turned to Patrick.

"Well… I don't really know what to say. I've had a son for a short while, and this son of mine made me very proud."

"You don't really have to say anything, Dad," the boy said with a sad smile. "Especially big words are unnecessary."

Artemis nodded. "Listen, Patrick…" He squinted at Holly who stood a few feet away, seemingly interested in examining the shuttle. Artemis continued in an almost whispering tone. "Your mother… she's very special, Patrick. Hold her in great esteem, and give her all the love you can. She deserves it. And… take care of her, will you?"

"I doubt Mum would need me taking care of her," the boy replied with a grin. "But I'll do my best, Dad."

Artemis heaved a sigh. He wanted to tell the boy something nice, but '_I love you, son_' sounded sappy and superfluous even inside his head. The idea of hugging the boy fell in the same category. He'd hugged Patrick once before, when they were alone. However, he knew he would be uncomfortable displaying any sort of emotion when watched by so many people. Finally he chose the most sensible and business-like method for saying good-bye to his child. "It's been a pleasure being your father," he said, offering his hand. The boy grabbed it and shook it with a solemn, unmistakably Fowl-like expression.

"The feeling is mutual, Father."

Releasing the boy's hand, Artemis turned to the last person whom he hadn't yet said good-bye to: Holly.

"Well, Commander…"

"Well, Mr Fowl…"

"It's time to say good-bye."

"Yes, indeed it is." She nodded seriously.

The gentle, lovely and overly sad look in her eyes made his heart clench. Forgetting about everyone standing around and staring at them, Artemis dropped to his knees to be at the same eye-level with the fairy. "It's been a pleasure to work with you, Comm… Holly." He reached out and took her hands gently into his, his blue eyes boring into her hazel ones. "I just wanted you to know that I never regretted coming to help you and the People… true that this mission nearly got all of us killed, but I couldn't have died happier than with you at my side." Seeing her lips tremble, he looked down at their intertwined hands, feeling unable to stare into her eyes any longer. Her hands were shaking too, and he was sure that if she opened her mouth to speak, the first sound she'd let out would be a sob. He didn't want her to cry, so he kept talking, giving her no opportunity to comment. "This mission taught me a lot… and it helped me become a better person… _you_ helped me become a better person. This mission was a gift… and completing it with you was an even greater gift. Thank you for everything, Holly."

The elf girl sniffed, oblivious to the fact that Patrick, Root, Foaly, Mulch and Koboi were all gazing at them. The outside world did not exist, only Artemis existed. Only her grief existed. Only her love existed.

She gulped, swallowing the lump in her throat and willed herself not to cry. She wanted to tell him what she felt. She wanted to tell him what she'd been unable to tell on the cliff. It was an enormous feat, but she managed to speak in a steady voice. "It's me who owes you the thank-yous, Artemis. Not only did you risk everything to help me and the People, but you also made me know the part of myself that I had not known before. Now I'm more than I used to be… I'm not only the onetime reckless LEP chick," her lips tucked into a smile at the name some of the civilians still called her, "I'm not only a mother now… I'm a woman. Something I had not really realised before you made me realise it."

"Same here," Artemis replied with a wistful smile mirroring hers. "I mean… I used to be a criminal, a scientist, and overall a damn egoist… but somehow, beneath all the layers of deviousness, I used to be a little boy who hadn't yet realised he had grown up. But with you near me, I finally realised it."

She pulled her hands out of his, heaving a sigh. "Once something slipped my mouth… I said that a stupid jaguar could not stand between us. Well… a jaguar could not… something else can."

Artemis nodded. He had always been aware that there were too many things that stood between him and the elf, yet he had tried to ignore them. Now, however, there was no ignoring them anymore.

"Our worlds are too different…" she began, but he pressed his index-finger on her lips.

"I know. I know it could not work, Holly. It's just… a pity. We have been a good team together." He gave her a smile and tried to make it look a brave smile, not a sad one. It was supposed to be a smile that suggested 'everything's going to be all right, we'll both get over it', but… did he really think that everything was going to be all right? Did he really think he could get over it? Could _anything_ be all right again? He feared it could not, but he knew he must not show it. He had to be brave, for Holly's sake.

Seeing his would-be-happy-but-only-succeeding-to-look-forced smile, her heart (that had been close to breaking), now broke into a hundred pieces. For a second she wondered whether he had heard the crash.

A single tear ran down her left cheek, but she did not care to reach out and wipe it. Instead she reached out and took his face into her hands, slowly edging closer and closer until their lips touched in a gentle farewell kiss. Though a few minutes earlier Artemis had been contemplating whether to show any emotions towards his son, now he completely forgot about keeping the façade of the cold businessman. He completely forgot about not wanting to be seen by others in a sappy moment. He forgot about the outside world and lost himself in the kiss.

A few metres away, in the shuttle, Juliet heaved a dreamy sigh, thinking 'see, I told it long ago'. Not far from the kissing couple, Opal slipped her hand into Mulch's and Root started fishing in his pockets for a hanky. Only Patrick stood there upright, watching as his father wound his arms around his mother's small body and pulled her even deeper into his embrace. He shook his head and looked away. Something that he had not yet felt for anyone began eating at his heart: he felt sorry for his parents.

Finally Holly pulled back, wiping that single tear off her cheek. "I love you," she said simply.

"I know," Artemis replied. Before Mulch could have said 'I told you they were like Han and Leia', Holly continued:

"I love you, but I have a task here. I have responsibilities here, I…"

"I know that too," he said, not wanting to listen to her excuses. There was simply no need for them. Had he wanted to, he could also have told her a series of excuses why he couldn't stay with her, but he felt those superfluous too. The whole world stood between them - she belonged to the world of the fairy People, and he belonged to the world of the humans. There was no crossing the line between the two worlds, at least not permanently.

He stood up, smoothing his Armani. "Take care, Commander."

With that he walked to the shuttle and climbed in, next to Juliet. The pilot closed the door, and the shuttle sped upwards, to Tara.

* * *

**A/N:** if I were evil, I'd end the fic here. But I'm not, so there's one more chapter. Stay tuned, and review, please:) 


	21. From Haven to Heaven

**Author's note**: 93 reviews since I last updated! That's more than I was getting for my HP fics's chapters! _/Hugs her wonderfully responsive readers./_

So, we've arrived at the end. I hope you all enjoyed the ride, I most certainly did. Thank you all for your wonderful, heart-warming reviews. I'm happy to have given you an A/H fic in which even the anti A/H shippers found the ship believable :)

**I'm working on the sequel, but** it will take several months to complete, and as some of you already know from my HP fics, I never start uploading a fic before its first draft is ready or almost ready. So **I can't** promise to **come out with the sequel sooner than September**. If you don't want to miss it, register with ffnet and put me on your author alert list (if you haven't done so already).

**Author's note in April, 2005:** there were some lyrics from Shrek in this chapter that I deleted and reuploaded the whole thing. You can still read the full version in my yahoo group.

**Disclaimer:** the same as in chapter one, plus the lyrics in this chapter come from the Shrek movie (I don't know whether Dreamworks Pictures borrowed that song from somewhere or not...)

_Keiko:_ I'm glad I could make you cry ;)

_harriettapotter_: Sirius's death didn't make me cry, because JKR wrote it to be totally unmoving. Had Siri died in Harry's arms, then I would have cried, but this way I wasn't touched a bit.

_TinkerBell394587_: who knows/_enigmatic look_/

_trohS-ylloH_: I don't know why you thought I was tired of your reviews. I most definitely wasn't.

_Demosthenes and Locke_: I've already been asked by someone else to be a staff member of his C2 community, and I turned it down, because I have no idea how these C2 things work at all. I'm not competent :( Get well soon!

_shadow of the black abyss_: I'm not sure Arty will take up archery as a hobby, but I think he'll have a chance to shoot arrows in the sequel too.

_Ashu:_ please read the A/N above.

_Lily Jane:_ I seriously don't deserve that crown you bestowed upon me, but thank you. Jo and Eoin's secret love child? LOL :D Please read the A/N at the top.

_IhateBeetroot_: marriage? Hmm... weeeeellllll... ;)

_BluAyu_: I'm glad I could inspire people to write :D

_WackedOutPet13:_ perhaps it was a bit syrupy, but hey, the secondary genre is romance! In romance mushy moments are allowed ;)

_Hikari Flame_: Arty's sacrificed a lot already, we can't expect him to give up his humanity as well. So no, he can't turn into a fairy again.

_C-chan1_: no, I really don't know who Tidus and Jecht are. Yes, Chix is the idiot whose wings got shot.

_Lady Emerald Black_: I'm glad I managed to make you (and many others) cry with the last chapter :)) Butler scene in this one (and not because you suggested it, after all, it was written months ago, but funny that you asked for it without knowing that there would really be one :)

_refloc_: why is your father anti-fowl?

_AJ:_ if you need R-rated stuff (or something a little more than R-rated), then read the smutfic ;) Please read my A/N above.

_lyrabelaqua:_ my next fic after this one will be the sequel to this one (no title yet).

_The OddBird:_ Arty is a 'beginner' kisser, so isn't that good yet. But in the smutfic he'll have a chance to 'develop' ;)

_Cyberspace_: thanks for pointing out 'genial'. Funny that my beta didn't spot it.

_apple-pie:_ nice to see you again! The flags were my mum's fav task too.

_LittleGreenPerson:_ I heard that the title of the next AF book is The Opal incident, so I assumed that Opal would be the villain again... but I'm not sure when it's coming out. May? June? What do you know about it?

_angelmisaki_: Mulch and Opal's kid? Dunno... my mother told me I should make Opal pregnant in the sequel, but somehow... I just can't. That would be too bizarre ;) In the sequel Patrick will be definitely taller, but only a few months older.

_kirby freak_: yes, I have considered writing professionally, but I would need to make up a whole new universe for that... dunno if I'll ever be capable of that. Also, it's much more difficult to get published in Hungary than in the UK or the USA... I'd need not only talent but a lot of luck and _connections_ (that I don't have) to become a published author here...:((

_Ronin Ke_: I envy you for your intelligence, then.

_Chibi Binasu-chan_: glad you like the fic so much. About the sequel - I have promised one about four chapters ago... see the A/N above.

_Indigo Ziona_: glad you liked the Arty/Pat moments :)

**Also thanks to**: _manveri mirkiel, utena, VampirePeaches, Holly Rox, septempopuli, Dorinda, Sasha, Hyperkitti, Teya Yashitoda, Ph6, HollyShortgirl, Spooks-A-Lot, missy.witch, PeanutButterOreoCookieGirl, DarkLegacies, gorbash33, Aelfwyn, Fleury, amber, Chaos, Mistri, Tonks' Admirer, Kelaal, p. nogard, animezebra, neutralgal, cutemara, Draco's Secret Lover, Fowl girl, VampyGenieWitch, Aurum Potestas Est, Loreleisealgirl, Cassy, BeatlesLover, bxs, APERFECTATTITUDE, Klayandria, pink-helga, Kateli, furiousflame190113, becca, Epsilon2Delta, almostinsane, WaterTrainer, Iced Artemis, Cherri J.M. Ookami, blondevil, Meiko, Makenai, ChaosDestria_

* * *

**Chapter 21**

**From Haven to Heaven**

Artemis was silent all the way up the chute, staring out the window, indifferently examining the sea of magma beneath the shuttle. He didn't look back at the small dots that were Holly, Patrick and the others. He felt he _could not_ look back. And anyway, there was no point in looking back. What would it change? Nothing.

"Are you all right?" Juliet asked worriedly.

"All right? No, I'm not all right," he replied flatly.

"Are you sure you don't have malaria?" she tried to joke at his comment 'I'm not all right'.

"I am," he grunted, folding his arms, leaning back into the seat. He no longer felt like staring out the window. There was nothing interesting about the magma. His glance fell upon something in Juliet's hands. "What's that?"

"Oh, this." The Butler girl grinned. "Just a videodisk of wrestling gnomes. Holly's present."

"Just make sure you don't watch it on maximum volume," Artemis said coldly. "I don't want to fall out of my bed in the middle of the night just because two testosterone-filled gnomes clashed. And try not to cheer too loudly."

"Under normal circumstances I'd say you're being a jerk, Arty," Juliet replied seriously. "But I'm trying to remind myself what you've gone through, and I'm holding back."

"Wonderful. Should I thank you for that?"

She sighed. "It seems that Holly's presence brought out the best in you… but losing her brought out the worst in you."

Artemis's eyes flashed at his bodyguard, but he decided not to comment. Perhaps the young woman was right.

"You know…" Juliet's voice trailed off for a moment then she pulled herself together and continued, "I think Holly would be very disappointed if she knew you were behaving like this… hurting people and stuff. Only a few minutes ago you told her that she'd made you a better person. Prove it. _Be_ that better person, Arty. In her memory."

"You're talking as though she were dead," he whispered with an accusing edge in his voice.

"I did not mean to-"

"Never mind." He waved irritably. "She _is_ dead, after all. To me, at least."

Even though he tried to sound annoyed instead of heart-broken, she clearly heard the sadness in his voice. There was something about his moves too - they were tired moves. Tired - but not because of physical exertion, since he had had three days to rest and regain his strength in Haven. His tiredness had psychological roots. Had Juliet not known Artemis any better, she would have thought he had suddenly sunk into depression.

Giving him a compassionate look, Juliet did something that she had never done to her principal before: she reached out and squeezed his hand. She did not know what to tell him; how to console him… she feared there was no way of consoling him at all. Only time could heal such wounds. And perhaps Butler, she thought. If anyone, then her brother could help his young master through this 'crisis'.

* * *

The shuttle took off and slowly ascended into the chute. Holly kept watching and watching until it got reduced to a pinpoint in the distance. Her heart clenched for the umpteenth time that day, and even harder than ever before. He had not looked back before climbing into the shuttle. He had not even glanced down at her from the window… he hadn't cared to give her a final wave…

For a second it even occurred to her that perhaps he had not loved her back, because if he had loved her, then he would have looked back. Then she banished the thought, feeling completely stupid. Of course he had loved her!

But then… why did he say 'I know' instead of 'I love you too'? Was that just because he was a Fowl? A Fowl who couldn't really show his feelings, even if he wanted to? Could he be afraid to utter that short sentence?

Staring down at the magma beneath, she took deep breaths. Perhaps it was better this way. Artemis had not said he'd loved her, thus he had not declared any sort of commitment towards her. It might help her forget him…

She almost let out a sarcastic laugh. She was trying to deceive herself, and in a rather pathetic way at that.

The shuttle finally disappeared above and Holly turned on her heels, walking quickly and deliberately towards the centre of Haven.

The other fairies watched as she walked past them, not even giving them a second-glance.

Patrick moved to catch up with her, but Root caught his arm, holding him back.

"Don't," the elderly elf told the boy. "Let her grieve alone. She needs some solitude."

Patrick nodded. "You're right, Uncle Julius. Can I stay at your place overnight?"

"Certainly you can." Root patted the boy's shoulder and they set off towards his flat.

"What, not even saying good-bye to your old buddies?" Mulch called after the one-time commander.

"Why should I say good-bye to you two?" Root glanced at the dwarf and the pixie over his shoulder. "I won't be lucky enough not to hear from you any time soon. You can't keep out of trouble, Diggums. Neither can you, Koboi."

"Shall we bet, Root?" The pixie gave the old elf a challenging look, fluttering her elongated, deep lilac eyelashes at him.

"No. It would not be fair, I'd win either way," Julius replied, steering Patrick away from the one-time convicts.

"He's right, you know," Foaly remarked. "You two are too big of trouble-makers to keep your noses clean…"

"No one asked you, donkey-boy," Opal said haughtily. "Well, honey, shall we?"

"Of course, sweetheart." After readjusting his hat, Mulch held out his arm and Opal gladly took it.

"Bye-bye, my little pony." Miss Koboi waved at the centaur; then sleeking her shiny blonde hair, she marched off at the dwarf's side.

Foaly stared after them, thinking. The only movie quote he found good enough for describing Diggums's and Koboi's relationship was 'I have a bad feeling about this'.

* * *

Artemis and Juliet arrived back at Fowl Manor around noon, after a few hours of walk from Tara. Artemis immediately locked himself in his room and told Juliet not to disturb him.

Butler was beside himself with happiness and relief to have his young master and his sister back, both of them healthy. He wanted to talk to Artemis at once, but his sister told him that the young man did not want visitors. Butler found this slightly surprising. As he wanted to know everything, he quickly made a sandwich for Juliet in the kitchen and asked her to recount every little detail of her latest 'fairy adventure'. Juliet was more than willing to share the story with her brother, who seemed to drink in all her words, only occasionally making remarks like 'I should have been there; I would have known how to do this and that'. Although Juliet did not like to be compared to her brother, she had to give it to him - in most cases he would have acted more professionally than she had.

Early in the afternoon Butler had to drive the Bentley to the Dublin airport to pick up the older Fowl couple, who had just arrived back from Canada. The manservant made up a tale about Artemis working on a very difficult experiment, in order to dissuade Angeline and Artemis the First from paying their son a visit. Silently he sent a thank-you prayer to all the saints he believed in, for keeping the Fowl couple away from home just as long as Artemis the Second and Juliet were away. He knew that otherwise there would have been some rather unpleasant questions and he would have had to make up all sorts of lies to cover for his young master. This way he only needed to tell a small lie. Even though Angeline was disappointed not to have a chance to give her little 'Arty' a kiss, she acquiesced herself to it. No one was supposed to disturb the genius during a dangerous experiment.

After having had lunch, the Fowl couple withdrew into their rooms to rest after the long and tiring journey, and Butler had an opportunity to continue questioning his sister about the last two weeks.

It was already six in the evening when Juliet finished recounting the events. Butler was in a state of shock after she mentioned that Artemis had given up his exceptional intelligence to save the world. It was so _not_ like young Fowl…

"Is that why Artemis locked himself in his room?" he asked her, putting the last porcelain plate into the cupboard. He had just finished doing the washing-up. "If it is, then I understand his behaviour. That's a huge sacrifice he's made, and it will take him quite a bit of time to get used to this new situation."

"Yes, Dom, but that's not the only thing that changed about him," Juliet replied, stirring her coffee and suppressing a yawn. The exhaustion after their jungle trip had taken its toll on her too, despite her extreme bodyguard training.

"What else changed?" Butler raised an eyebrow at his sister, flopping down on a kitchen stool.

"Well… for example he proved he could behave like a normal person, regardless of his mental abilities. He proved he can have feelings and the sort… but now he seems to be back to his old nasty self… or perhaps even worse."

"Even worse? What do you mean by that? What happened to him? I mean, besides giving up his intellect?"

"Oh, have I forgotten to mention that?" Juliet slurped a bit of coffee. "Yeah, I think I must have."

"What have you forgotten to mention?"

"Why, the emotional aspect of the story, of course!"

"What emotional aspect?" Butler frowned. The mere thought of 'Artemis' and 'emotions' in the same context gave him a headache.

Juliet chuckled then straightened her face. "Ehm. Sorry. It's not funny, after all… only if you look at it from a certain point of view…"

"Look at what from which point of view?" The manservant was definitely losing it.

"What? Love, of course!" Juliet said matter-of-factly.

"Love? Artemis and love? As in _Artemis** in** love_?"

"Yeah."

"Do I have to beseech you for every single word?" he snapped. He wasn't the type to shout at anyone, lest his sister, but the tension was unbearable.

"Okay, Dom, okay. No need to get all irritated. It's not good for your health…" Seeing her usually calm brother's expression (one could have scrambled eggs on his face now), she held up a placating hand. "All right. It's like this: Arty fell for Holly, and Holly fell for Arty, but she had to stay in Haven and he had to come back to Ireland and now they are both heart-broken. That's the big story."

For a moment Domovoi just stared at the kitchen table, his brain processing the information. "Artemis and Holly…" he muttered after a while. "I should have known."

Juliet nodded agreeably. "I knew it from the beginning. I mean, from the first day Arty moved into Holly's flat. There was something between them… the very air seemed to vibrate when they were near each other… Too bad they never had a chance to become a normal couple…"

Butler rose to his feet. "I'm going to talk to him. Don't even try to hold me back."

Juliet shrugged with a mischievous smile. "I won't hold you back, as long as you tell him that I _tried to_ hold you back. I hope you can talk some sense into him. Persuade him to come out of his cocoon and greet his parents at least…"

"I'll try my best, sis," the manservant replied, heading upstairs.

* * *

Holly was lying on her bed, staring into the darkness of her room. She hadn't even cared to turn on the lights when she returned home. The darkness of the room perfectly fit her dark mood.

She felt mad at herself for wallowing in self-pity, but she also felt that she had every right to wallow a little. Perhaps a LEP commander should have behaved differently, but she was not only a commander, she was an elf and a woman too. And elves were emotional creatures. Darn that centaur for always being right!

With a sudden thought she rolled onto her stomach and reached for the remote control, switching on the TV. Perhaps it would help take her mind off a certain Mr Fowl…

The only underground movie channel was showing some Mud Man movie, as usual. The last film Holly had watched on it had been the seventh part of Harry Potter. She had watched it together with her son, who was still fond of the young wizard's adventures. She had to smile at the memory of Patrick's eyes focused on the screen. He hadn't even blinked or taken breath when Harry did away with the evil Lord Voldemort. Holly sighed. Her little son… genius or not, he was still a child.

This movie seemed to be an older one… she had seen it once before, many, many years ago… What was the title again? Shack? Shriek? Something like that.

Resting her chin on arms, she watched the film, but instead of feeling any better, it only worsened her already bad mood.

That funny green monster in the movie seemed sad… he was sitting alone in his cottage, staring into the flames, as though he were missing someone…

The green monster disappeared, and a pretty, redheaded woman was examining herself in a mirror, clad in a snow white wedding dress. Her eyes mirrored all the sadness in the world. One did not need to be a genius to see that she was missing the green character… Clearly they were in love. A human girl and an ogre. Two different species… yet they loved each other.

Holly rolled onto her back, away from the screen. She did not need to watch others' misery - her own was just enough for her.

She spent the next fifteen minutes staring at the ceiling, not in the least paying attention to the movie. For a while she tolerated the excited squeals and crashes coming from the TV, but as soon as the characters began singing 'I'm a believer', Holly punched the OFF button on the remote control. No one was entitled to sing cheerful songs while she felt this horrible!

She buried her face into her pillow.

No one was entitled to be happy as long as she was suffering!

_Heavens, what an egoistic monster am I?_ She thought bitterly. She did not have a right to wallow in self-pity! There were thousands, millions of people less lucky than she was! She did have a reason to feel _happy_! She had her son back, she had saved the People, the Council had given her and Root the Heroes of Haven Award… Everything was back to normal, just like she had hoped it would when she'd last gone to Fowl Manor…

Everything was back to normal, save one thing… she'd fallen in love with the Mud Boy. That was something she had most definitely not planned when deciding to visit him and plead for his help…

She was supposed to be happy and satisfied, but she felt more miserable than ever before.

Love between two different species? Nah. The only place it could have a positive outcome was a fairy tale. Like that girl turning into an ogre and going off to live with the male ogre… How ridiculous.

There was a creak and a bang that sounded like the front door opening and closing. "Is that you, Patrick?" Holly asked, sitting up on her bed.

The door of her bedroom opened and two figures walked in.

"Yes, it's me, Mum. And Uncle Julius."

"Yeah. See, Holly, your son and me… we've discussed things and we came to the conclusion…"

"Discussed what sort of things?" Holly asked tiredly.

"You. And Dad," the boy replied, switching on the lights.

Holly raised her left arm before her eyes, blinking. The sudden light dazzled her. "What… what do you mean by that?"

"You know what I mean." Patrick sat down on the bed next to his mother. Root pulled up a chair, facing the bed's occupants.

"No, I don't." The commander shook her head. She had made her decision. She had let Artemis go. What else did these two want from her? She'd done the right thing and there was no point in discussing it anymore!

"Yes, you do," Root said in a gentle, yet determined voice. "You love that Mud Man, Holly."

"I know. And?" She scowled at her one-time superior.

"And? You want to be with him," Root said as simply as though he were explaining that two and two equalled four.

"No, I don't. I can't. I… you know I can't," she protested. What was Julius here playing at? Julius? The Mud Man-hater Julius Root? He must have gone mad for sure…

"You decided to stay here because you feel you have responsibilities here," the older fairy said.

"And I _do_ have responsibilities!" Holly snapped. "I'm the commander, Julius! I'm responsible for dozens of LEP officers and privates! I'm responsible for the peace and safety of Haven!"

"Yes, it's true. And so far you have done your job as a commander brilliantly." Root nodded. "However, you have got so immersed in responsibility that you completely forgot to _live_."

She shook her head. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, yes you do. You're young, Holly. Possibly too young to shoulder such responsibility…"

"Then why did you name _me_ commander?" she burst out, jumping off the bed. "Don't come with the 'mistake of an old fairy' shit, because I won't take it! You _knew_ you could have appointed Trouble or any other captain, but you named me, the youngest… the only female! And don't tell me it was to show your anti-male-chauvinist attitude, because I won't take that either!"

Root stood up, stepping to her with a serene expression. "The only reason I chose you was that you were the best. I had been selfish, because I wanted Haven to have the very best commander, and I forgot that that commander also had a life… I forgot how young you were; I ignored the fact that I was taking your youth away from you when I put you in charge. I only had the best interests of Haven at heart, and not _your_ best interests, Holly."

"If you could choose again, would you choose someone else?" She frowned at him.

"No." He smiled. "If I could choose again, I wouldn't choose anyone."

"I don't get it…"

"If I had a chance to decide, I wouldn't retire. So simple."

Holly's eyes widened as it dawned on her. "So… so that was it! That's why you were so depressed all the time, wasn't it? Whenever I asked you what your problem was, you just said 'nothing'… but in reality you… you missed your old job."

Root heaved a sigh. "Yes, Holly. I know that this discussion sounds pretty much like I was trying to get your rank, but that is not the point. The point is that I want you to see that Haven wouldn't be lost if you decided to… take a bit of a holiday. Say… fifty, sixty years of it."

"Fifty? Sixty?" Holly looked at him with a confused expression.

"You're a fairy, Mum," Patrick spoke up. "You have a life expectancy of one thousand and five hundred years. At least. Dad is a Mud Man. He will live for another fifty-sixty years. If you miss the chance to be happy with him now, you will miss it forever. And don't worry about Haven; the Council will gladly reinstate Uncle Julius as your… substitute."

"But… but what would the People say if they found out that I went off to live… above ground with a Mud Man?" Holly asked in a tone that suggested she found the whole thing ludicrous.

"They wouldn't need to know." Patrick gave her a sly smile. "Trust your genius son to come up with a good enough story about your long absence. Say, your poor Aunt Iphigenia got a terrible disease in Atlantis, and you, the only relative, decided to stay with her and take care of her for the remaining few decades of her life… No one will look into the case to find out whether you indeed have an Aunt in Atlantis. Everyone trusts the wonderful Holly Short, saviour of the fairy People. No one will question your right to take a sixty-year-long holiday. And anyway, a few decades are nothing for the fairies. Most of them won't even notice you've gone missing," he added with a wink.

Holly sank onto the bed, her mind reeling. She could barely believe what these two were suggesting her! Leave Haven? Live with Artemis in Ireland?

A shiver ran down her spine at the thought of living in the upper world; but it was not a cold, unpleasant shiver, but a warm and pleasant one.

She glanced at her son then at Root. Patrick gave her an impish grin, while Root's smile was gentle and genuine. He did not look a thing like someone who wanted to get rid of her just to get her job. He had only mentioned that to reassure her: if she decided to leave, there would still be someone to tell off the officers… She did not need worry about responsibilities.

"I… I don't know what to say," she muttered. "Holy Frond, do you realise you're trying to lead me into temptation?"

"We are well aware of that, Mum," the boy replied. "Why, don't you _want to_ be tempted?"

"But Patrick…" she began a scolding that she never finished, seeing her son's eyes radiating something that she had barely ever seen in them. _Love_. His eyes held love for his mother, and a gentle encouragement. 'Go and be happy,' his eyes said in their silent, yet easy to understand way.

"How… how could I?" she breathed. "I couldn't leave you alone here, Patrick!"

"I wouldn't be left alone, Mum. Uncle Julius and Foaly will be around me."

"But… but… you're just a… little boy…" Holly muttered. She knew her son hated being called 'little', but she couldn't help it. She just couldn't leave him… her little son…

For once the boy didn't seem a bit offended by being called a little boy. He stepped to his mother and gathered her gently into his arms. "I'll be fine, Mum. Also, I could sometimes visit you and Dad… no one of the fairies would find out."

Holly was overwhelmed by Patrick's gesture. It was the first time her son had willingly hugged her… and he was hugging her good-bye. _Good-bye?_

She withdrew from his embrace, shaking her head. "I can't do this! I'm a fairy! I'm small, and pointy-eared, and UV-sensitive…" But she knew she was only trying to find excuses. Very pathetic excuses.

The gentle expression disappeared from her son's eyes, and a trademark Fowl-vampire-smile spread on his face as he pulled a tiny bottle full of red liquid out of his pocket. He pushed it into Holly's right. "No more excuses, Mum."

Holly stared at the ruby-red solution then squinted up at Root.

The old elf nodded with a calm expression. Holly had never seen 'Beetroot' this calm and carefree before. For a second he looked like a benign father.

She again glanced down at the bottle in her hand, but her eyes saw past the red liquid - they saw a princess turning into an ogre to stay with her beloved. It was a fairy tale. And for the time being she felt she was in a fairy tale too. In both senses of the word…

* * *

Artemis was sitting on the windowsill, staring out into the gathering darkness. He had watched as Butler had driven his parents home early in the afternoon, but the last thing he felt like doing was going down to greet them.

Seconds turned into minutes and minutes into hours, but the young man did not budge from the windowsill. Time seemed to drift past him without him noticing.

Shadows elongated in the garden, the setting sun painted the horizon orange, but Artemis did not register any of them.

He was mad at himself. Mad, because he was no longer the Artemis Fowl he was supposed to be. He was no longer the cold-hearted, calculating person who had always been ready with a snappy comeback and willing to rid unworthy people of their possessions. He wasn't even Artemis the hunter who hunted the evil and rejoiced over their fall, emphasising his own brilliance… This one was a new Artemis - an Artemis who didn't like himself. It was an Artemis with feelings. With pain. With longing. An Artemis full of characteristics he had despised in others and now despised in himself. He was reduced to a 'mere mortal' whose emotions were his weakness and his weakness his undoing. What most bothered him was the fact that the source of his sadness wasn't his lost genius. He knew he'd miss it, but he also knew he would be able to learn to live without it. He was still clever, just not exceptionally so. He could still carry on with his experiments; he would just need more time and attention for each of them. He had recorded all his knowledge on disks, nothing was lost. He could relearn to be a scientist and inventor; he just needed patience and strength of will.

But there was a much greater problem that he couldn't solve with a strong will.

Had someone only two weeks earlier told him that in two weeks he would be an emotional wreck because of a tiny elf, he would have advised that person to take a nice long holiday in a padded cell.

He, Artemis Fowl the Second was supposed to be cold-headed and indifferent! Such things as love were supposed to be beneath him! He had _thought_ such things were beneath him… But he had been wrong.

He was a rich and good-looking scientist and businessman, having the connections to manipulate others, to play with people like a puppeteer with his marionettes… He was mighty… but not almighty. Despite his influence, despite his wealth, despite his fame as a genius, he was nothing but a man.

A man who loved a woman.

The sun had just dived behind the horizon when the door to Artemis's room opened.

"I said leave - me - alone," he enunciated, not even turning around to see who had arrived.

"I know. Juliet told me," Butler replied, stepping into the room and closing the door behind him. "She even tried to hold me back, but I was relentless. Forgive me for disobeying an order, but sometimes, in the principal's own interest, a bodyguard needs to disobey the principal's order."

"You're not my bodyguard anymore." Artemis said coldly. "And I'm not your principal. I'm your master, and you're my servant, nothing else."

Butler's heart clenched. He had served this boy so long, he had risked his life to save his so many times, and this was what he deserved? To be called a 'servant'? Well, from a certain point of view, he _was_ a servant… but he had always considered himself more of a friend, and he had thought that Artemis too considered him that.

Butler straightened his back and willed his features to remain indifferent, not to show how much the young man's words had hurt him. _Only the pain is making him say those things_, he persuaded himself and stepped closer to Artemis.

The young man glanced up at him. "Sorry."

"No need to." Butler shook his head and took a place on the windowsill next to his one-time principal. "You can call me whatever you want if that makes you feel better." He added with a wink. "What about elephant-man? Or Darth Vader? The other day someone called me Darth Vader in Limerick, because I was huffing and puffing like that after climbing a few stairs…"

Artemis gave his old friend a sad smile. "And you're panting again… because of me."

The manservant was indeed breathing a bit heavier than usual - he had climbed two floors to Artemis's room, after all. "It doesn't matter." He waved. "I got used to it."

"That's not what I meant," Artemis replied. "I meant that it was all my fault. Your injury… the whole Aztec incident… everything."

"But Artemis, how could that Aztec incident be your fault?" Domovoi frowned.

"Well, it's not directly _my_ fault… but it was _I_ who started it all," the young man said seriously.

"I don't get it."

"But it's as clear as crystal," sighed Artemis, looking out the window. "It was my stupid idea to kidnap a fairy all those years ago. Had I not done that then the fairies wouldn't have known me. Then there would be no Patrick… no one who could have made a substance for the fairies to look like humans, and Quench wouldn't have had a chance to endanger both the fairy People and us, humans. Had he succeeded, _I_ would have been at fault, at least partly."

"But I hope it doesn't mean you regret having that boy as your son?"

Artemis shook his head. "No, I do not… but I can't help thinking how easier everything would be if he didn't exist. How easier everything would be if I had never met the fairies…"

"You mean if you had never met one Holly Short." Butler rectified him gently.

Artemis muttered something like 'Juliet and her big mouth' then frowned upon his old friend, giving the impression of a lost child. There had not been many occasions when Artemis looked younger than his age, but now he definitely did. "See what I'm doing, Butler? Hiding all my problems behind Patrick and Quench, when those problems… they're all related to Holly. I fear I'm cracking up."

"You're not." The manservant put a hand on the young man's shoulder. "You're just in love. And that's a beautiful thing, Artemis, you should not feel ashamed of it, nor fear it. Yes, it will surely cause you pain, but no one has died of it before, and no one has gone crazy because of it."

"No one?" Young Fowl arched an eyebrow at Butler.

"Well… at least not many." The older man shrugged. "And I know you enough, Artemis. I know you more than anyone else in the world, and I know for sure that _you_ won't crack up. You're too strong for that."

"Strong? Me? You're mistaken." Artemis waved. "I wish I were strong… as strong as _she_ is. I bet she isn't wallowing in self-pity… I bet she's going about her LEP business as usual…"

"…at least you hope she is, but at the same time you feel betrayed to think that she forgot about you so easily," Butler said knowingly.

"A bit of a controversial figure, aren't I?" Artemis smiled bitterly, not even surprised that the old man had so accurately described his feelings. Half of him wished that Holly would easily forget him and be happy, even if he couldn't be. The other half, however, wished that she would be just as miserable as he was. The 'foul Fowl' and the 'enamoured Artemis' were again fighting inside him. It seemed a never-ending battle…

"You're not a bit more controversial than anyone else in your place," Butler replied calmly. "Believe it or not, ninety-nine percent of the 'lesser people' would feel the same way. It's only human nature. Just because you're a genius… er… used to be a genius, you're not different from the rest in every respect. That's something you still have to learn."

Artemis bit into his lower lip. The good old Domovoi was right, as always. He, Artemis, could have once been exceptionally bright and could still be a bit cleverer than the average, but he lacked something that the manservant had acquired through the years: wisdom.

Only three days earlier he had been one of the three cleverest people on Earth, and yet he still had much to learn. And not about metaphysics, geopolitics or history of arts. He had to learn about people and their feelings… his own feelings. And _not_ from the psychologist-point-of-view…

"I think I _did_ start to learn things…" he spoke up after a while. "Holly taught me. She taught me humanity… but now that she's out of my life, I fear I will forget everything I learned…"

"Believe me when I say you won't," Butler said softly. "If you don't try to suppress your feelings for her, if you don't try to forget her with all your will-power… if you allow a part of her to reside in your heart as long as you live, then you won't lose what you learned from her. On the contrary - it will give you strength to learn even more."

Artemis heaved a sigh. "I know… but… it's so damn hard to just think of her… it hurts."

"It's supposed to hurt." Butler patted the young man on the shoulder. "But as time passes, the pain will fade, and finally only the good memories remain. Trust me, I know what you're going through." Seeing Artemis's confused expression, Butler let out a small laugh. "Did you think I was never hit by Cupid's arrow? Believe it or not, I was in love at least four times… no, five… And it always hurt when it ended… but time healed the wounds. The first was the worst, of course… She had waist-length strawberry blonde hair…" Butler absent-mindedly ran his hand across his shaved dome, his eyes distant. Artemis almost found it amusing - the huge Eurasian reminiscing about love…

"Well, the point is," Butler said when he came out of his reverie, "that you mustn't try to forget her, because the harder you try, the less you will succeed. Those whom we love, we never really forget… it would be against the rules of nature if we did."

Artemis nodded, feeling slightly lighter than he had been before his friend's visit. Apparently, Butler knew him more than he had thought Butler did. He decided to take the manservant's advice, and instead of trying to wipe Holly's lovely face out of his mind or keep repeating how much he missed her, he would try to remember the times when they were happy together.

A smile appeared on his face as he pictured the fairy wading out of the lake, the jungle trees' shadows painting intricate patterns on her coffee-coloured skin… He could almost see her through half-closed eyelids… she looked taller than normal, the ash trees casting shadows on her cream-coloured skin and her scanty clothing. She seemed almost real…

Artemis rubbed his eyes and blinked. His mind must be playing tricks on him…!

But no. She was still there, walking down the paved path that led to the front door.

"B…Butler? Do you see what I see?" Artemis stammered, grabbing the window-frame and pushing his nose to the windowpane. The glass steamed up due to his ragged breathing.

"Well, I don't know what _you_ see, but to me it seems pretty much like a fairy we know… just a bit differently."

That was all Artemis needed to cross the room in three quick jumps, tear the door open and begin racing down the stairs.

Butler remained in the doorframe for a few minutes, smiling to himself. Deciding that he had superfluously come here to give Artemis 'moral support', he walked out of the young man's room, going down the back stairs. He had a feeling that Artemis would not return to his room alone and he assumed that the last thing his young master would want was his presence.

* * *

Artemis practically ripped the front door open and jumped down the marble stairs, running towards the lithe figure in the garden.

"H…Holly," he breathed, stopping two metres from her, panting. For a moment he didn't know what to say, what to ask… She was so breathtakingly beautiful… Her hazel eyes sparkled in her pale face, her auburn hair was arranged in a way to reveal a pair of completely human-looking ears, and she seemed to be only a few inches shorter than him. A perfect 'Mud-Womanised' Holly Short.

She was wearing a very revealing top and a tight-fitting, slightly short pair of trousers. Apparently she couldn't find a big enough fairy dress.

He was just ogling her for what seemed minutes, unable to take his eyes off her.

"Y…you've grown," he said finally, feeling sillier than he had all those years back saying 'I don't like lollipops'.

"Yeah, I have… even without doing exercises on a home gym," she said with a wink.

"I assume… you drank that substance that Patrick invented…"

"Brilliant deduction."

"Amazing how well it works… I mean… you look like any of us…" He knew well that he was rambling - of course the substance worked perfectly, he had seen Quench and Quench's guards as humans and he too had used it to regain his usual looks… But for the time being he couldn't do anything but ramble. Very uncharacteristic for Artemis Fowl!

"Well, the boy is a genius, after all…" She shrugged. "It's natural that his substance works perfectly… just like your antidote."

"Uh-huh. Good. Er…" He felt like slapping himself on the forehead. Heavens! 'Er' wasn't even a word!

Seeing his inability to utter a decent sentence, she decided to help him out and continued their conversation. "If you were wondering when I was going to take that antidote, then my answer is: in fifty-sixty years."

Artemis blinked, his mouth falling open. He knew that this was the least attractive face he could have made, but he didn't care.

"You mean…" he began, running his hand through his black locks in an embarrassed-confused way. Holly couldn't help but feel amused by the thought that she was having such an effect on the aloof, ever so self-confident Mr Fowl. "You mean…?"

"Of course I'm staying with you, silly," she said gently.

Artemis completely ignored the fact that he was supposed to take offence at being called 'silly'. "But… but the Council made me promise never to contact a fairy again…"

Holly's lips tucked into a grin. "Yeah, _you_ promised never to contact a fairy again. But _I_ never promised anyone not to contact you again."

"You devious little witch…" he said admiringly.

"Devious, huh? Well, I had a good teacher in deviousness." She winked at him.

"And who's going to be the commander, then?" Artemis enquired. He still couldn't believe this could work. He still couldn't believe he and Holly could stay together.

"Julius, of course," she replied matter-of-factly. "He was bored out of his mind as a pensioner…"

"And what about Patrick?" Artemis frowned. He couldn't see Holly leaving her son just like that. Not after all she'd done to get him back…

"Well, I'm going to miss him like hell," she replied, "but I don't need to worry about him now. He's in good hands living with Julius, and… I'll have him back, after all…"

_I'll have him back, after all…_ Artemis knew well what that meant. It meant that Holly had come here aware that she could spend a couple of decades with him, not any more. He would be an old man when she would still be young…

"Is it really what you want?" he asked seriously, suddenly feeling his old self again. This was a question to be considered with a cool head. "You know I don't have a long life, compared to you. Is it what you want? To see me grow grey and wrinkly and perhaps even die in your arms?"

"This is my only chance to be happy with you, and I will make the most of it, if you let me," Holly replied serenely. "I don't mind if your hair turns grey… some of it has turned grey already." She pointed at his temple.

"That was your fault, you know," he said, his eyes twinkling. "You went and almost got yourself killed by that jaguar… that one stole years from my life…"

"Years, really?" She playfully raised an eyebrow at him. "I seriously hope you can still… er… _perform_, despite being such an ooooold man…"

"I expect I can… but there's only one way to find out…" he said, shrugging. Just a few minutes ago he was trying to convince himself that it wouldn't have worked between him and Holly, and now he was to convince himself of the opposite. No doubt, it would not be hard to persuade himself… He was sure he'd have problems with his aging and Holly's lack of aging later, but the fairy had been right. If he missed his only chance to be happy with her, then he was the greatest idiot on the face of Earth.

Holly stared at him for a while, almost seeing the cogwheels whirring in his head. She knew he was weighing all pros and cons - she had done the same before she'd drunk the 'MMM'. When finally a small smile appeared on his face, she knew he'd made his decision, and he'd chosen her.

"Say," she said with her arms akimbo, "how long do I have to wait for a kiss?"

Artemis's lips tucked into the biggest grin ever, and he crossed the space between them in one single jump, closing her tightly into his arms, his lips immediately finding hers. She hungrily returned the kiss, making him feel as though he were melting. The kiss the Aztec princess had given him had been nice, the one Holly had given him before his sacrifice had been electrifying, the one they had shared at the Haven shuttle port had been beautiful, but none of them came close to this one. The former kisses had been resigned farewell-forever-kisses, this, however, was a 'welcome to heaven' kiss.

"I love you," he muttered as soon as he got a chance to breath again.

"I know," she replied, bending her head on his shoulder. It was simply perfect there, in his arms. There was no place in the world she would rather have been at the moment.

As he held her with his right arm, his left hand slowly wandered down her back to her waist that wasn't covered with her too short shirt. "Hmm, you know, I like this outfit… the latest Atlantean fashion?"

"No. My mother's maternity dress," she chuckled. "That was the only shirt big enough…"

"Honestly, you completely ruined that for me… how will I ever think of you wearing this and not thinking of a heavily pregnant woman?"

"Why, you think pregnant women can't be sexy?" She pouted.

"I don't know… never seen one up close. Would you too have worn this if you had carried Patrick?"

"Perhaps. Though I think he would have died of fright if I had shown him photos of myself expecting him in this dress…" Holly made a grimace. "Speaking of children… don't you think it's funny that we have a child and have not yet slept together?"

"Yeah, funny… Something that definitely has to be changed…" Artemis replied with a kinky smile.

"Exactly." She slipped her hand into his and they began walking up the stairs. "If we have another child, then we will have it the _traditional_ way…" Artemis nodded his agreement. "…and-"

"Yes-?" he asked.

"…we _aren't_ going to name it Artemis!"

**

THE END

**

* * *

**A/N:** in case you're interested, there's an **illustration** for this chapter: Arty and Holly kissing in the garden (link in my bio).

Also, if you're at least 17, then you can read the story of Artemis and Holly's first time, titled **Welcome in heaven**, on adultffnet (see link in my bio). If you don't want to review on adultffnet you can come back and review for that fic here, as it can be considered as 'part' of this one. Well, sort of.

And now, as **a little teaser**: I'm giving you a few lines from the sequel (I haven't written much of it yet, but...)

* * *

_"What could Artemis want to tell us?" Fowl Senior wondered as his wife readied herself for the 'big talk' in front of her vanity table._

"I don't know, Timmy." Angeline shook her head, fishing a pearl necklace out of her jewel box. "But Butler sounded pretty serious…" She turned around to face her husband. "Perhaps Arty's broken up with Holly?"

"Am I imagining things or is there really a hopeful expression on your face, dear?" Artemis the First asked sardonically.

"Why?" Angeline dropped the necklace into her lap. "Aren't I allowed to hope? Miracles happen once in a while."

/…/

"It all began with your disappearance, Father," Artemis said.

"My disappearance?" Fowl Senior asked back.

"Exactly, Father." Artemis nodded. "After you went missing, I spent most of the family's fortune on searching missions, and our bank accounts were depleted to such an extent that I knew I had to find a new source of income. That was when I decided to kidnap a fairy for ransom."

"Kidnap a… what?" his father coughed.

* * *

**Well, bye, and (hopefully) see you in September:D**

Agi 


End file.
